SOMEBODY'S BEEN EATING MY PORRIDGE!!!

Dear You:

I have spent a lot of time thinking should I write to you about the feelings I have inside. This letter I am writing is not meant to hurt you. I do know that by the end of your reading, that feeling may become apparent. So I am here to apologize before hand. Over the course of our relationship, I have loved you like no other and you, in return, have given me the strength to push on when I thought all was lost. There have been times when I thought, “why me”? And there you are to comfort me and to ask without saying any words, “why not”? I have never had someone so persistent in winning my heart and capturing my soul like you have. Perfection is a word used too loosely nowadays, but you, define the word perfect to a tee. I am grateful for all you have done and for the things I know you are going to do: that is, if you stay around.

I guess I should get this out of the way and let you know I have been cheating on you. I can’t say that I loved someone as much as I have loved you, but I have taken my focus off my love to you and given my attention to someone else. Do I blame you? In a strange was, yeah. Even though I know I am in control of my actions, it was you that decided when you wanted to be there for me. Sometimes when I tried to talk to you, I never got a response. I felt ignored and unloved. You know how much I long for attention. There would be times you would see me crying and not once did you give me the solace or comfort I desired. I did it out of spite and anger. I chose not to care about the consequences, because to me, I was dead to you. I was an after thought. You had way too many people in your world to care about me. I know my impatience was selfish, and I am learning how to deal with it.

There is an old adage that says “you never miss a good thing until it’s gone” and even though I am capable of handing you this letter, I already feel like you are gone. I feel empty without your presence in my life. The way you joked with me, gave me advice and wisdom. How you looked out for me in trying times. It’s easy to remember these things now, seeing how I was so shallow to forget theses very same things when times got hard. Love is supposed to cover a multitude of things and I feel guilty for not knowing which things it covers. I remember you telling me how cold and callous I was just dropping people from my life. How unremorseful I would act by placing blame for our division. I always promised you that you would not be like the same. I vowed not to treat you like the rest. In the end, I did the very thing I swore not to. I do feel bad about it. And I still think, if you would have just listened to my heart, this could have been avoided. If you would have believed me when I said I needed you, we would still be together. HOW COULD YOU JUST NOT ANSWER MY HEART!!??!!

You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’m dying now. Not in the emotional stage. My life has been shortened by my transgressions. I don’t know how much longer I have to tell you what’s in my heart. That is the point of it all. That is the reason I decided to reach out to you now. I don’t want the extra burden of not letting you know how much I love you. Not how much I loved you but I still love you. Every tear, every drop of sweat, every breath of you body, I crave. I hope that you will find the love that is equivalent to what you give. My soul feels better letting this out, but I know I should have done it earlier. I don’t have a clue where our lines of communication got tangled and I know that we both gave our all at a point. Now it doesn’t matter. Remember me for the good times and for the things I did right. Remember me for the person you saw before all this got crazy. Remember me for the person that treated you like royalty. It may not change the past. It may even confuse the future. But for today, know the truth. I LOVE YOU…………..

SIGNED,

ME