YOU NEED A BACKIONOMY!!!

Fuck You!! Don’t talk to me ever again!! I quit!!

These were the words I wanted to spew on this blog.  I wanted to tell you all how much I hate the childish, insecure, heartless people that smile in my face and wait until I turn around to figure out their knife size.  But I remembered something very important:

“Vengeance is mine saith the Lord”

How is everyone doing today?  For those reading this, I appreciate you and I appreciate you taking time to check out my latest writing. I am doing a lot better within my spirit, even though I still have some important things to tell you.  The more I live my life, the more I understand the calling that has placed on me.  I may be a rapper, a host, a radio personality, comedian, or anything else you may want to title me ask, but right now, my focus is to be a man of God.  I deal with a lot of people younger than me and in their lives; I see urgency only when things are bad.  I feel that when life is good, we don’t get the same praise and prayer that we should, myself included.  We spend more time talking about how other people are creating obstacles in our life while we are not accountable for how we will rid ourselves of these things. This isn’t a blog to condemn you; just to honestly reflect on career direction.  Sometimes, we feel that nothing bad is supposed to happen. Or there is a limit on struggles at one time. Let me say something right now: Heartbreak Happens.

Last night, it was brought to my attention that if these things did not happen to me; yes, I am talking about me, then I wouldn’t have a story to tell you guys.  We see these success stories on TV and watch these rags to riches documentaries and think, “it could never happen to me”.  Well, let me say it can. Now, I know this may sound cliché, but if anyone tells you it is easy, tell them you have a golden cow for sale.  You have to lose in order to win. What if there was no rain, why appreciate the sun? Why do we appreciate income tax so much? Usually we broke the other 11 months. We want to be comfortable. We want everything to be perfect; and regardless of what we think, it’s never our fault things are the way they are.

What happened to working hard? Earning it? Doing it until you get it right? Sometimes it amazes me how people instantly get in relationships without learning the other person. You have been talking to them on the phone for 2 weeks straight, a few dates, now you are an item…hmmmm. Artists go to clubs and think everyone is supposed to LOOOOOOOVVVVEE their song….the first time they hear it!! We accept a job and get mad because the first week we are there, we found out someone doing the same job we are doing, gets paid more than us!! It’s amazing the jealousy we hold inside of us instead of working on becoming a better person.

What would the world be like if God stop giving out blessings? How would you feel?  Would you even realize it? I think we should spend more time thanking God for still blessing those around us so that we can see it!! We all have an appointed time. What we fell to realize is that before that time happens, we must first past a series of tests. These trials and tribulations are not there to destroy you, but to build your character and prepare you for your next adventure.  It’s almost like playing a game; you earn powers on this level that will help you get through the next one: We simply wanna walk through the level without gaining any XP points. 

Let me say this to my hip hop base before I get out of here. I wasn’t going to say anything (after thinking I was going to say something), but I’m at peace now.  I can say this with loving kindness in my words: F#@K YA FEELINGS.  Seriously. You spend more time whining and complaining instead of being proactive and grinding.  Everything you have said, I have been there. I have felt the same way. And I know better now.  Now, let’s put this all together: you need to work, grind, pray, learn, succeed, fail, overcome, and remain at peace before you can live. Stop trying to lean on your own understanding. What you need to understand is nothing happens overnight: not even the lottery.  I love you guys but you making me go crazy.  For a minute there, I thought I was beginning not to love making music and performing anymore. I thought I hated hosting.  Nah, I love that. I just realized now I may need to get a different crowd. And as much as one doesn’t like leaving his first love, I must do what I have to do.  God is too good to me for me to be sharing my talents with people who don’t appreciate Him instead of my own church family.  And I’m starting to feel guilty about that.  So hold on, grind hard, and love yourselves.

Well it’s two o’clock in the morning!! I have to get some sleep!!

Shows for the Week!!

The Incredible Radio Show!! Tuesday 12pm-2pm cst and possible Thursday

http://tunein.com/radio/The-Incredible-Radio-World-s186361/#

Championship Battle @ Kitty’s This Tuesday!! 5334 Lemmon Ave

Cyren (champ) v Skyron v Sleepy v Big DAWG v Simmy Automatik

Charlie Boy LIVE @ Club Copa this Thursday!! Big DAWG will be opening up!!

The Essential Concert Series @ Kitty’s July 7^th tix: $7 in advance, $10 at the door, $15 under 21

www.spaceshipohayses.com

Always be a blessing. It’s not about what you get; it’s about what you give………..

Love Yall!!!

Church!!

ALTHOUGH WE COME TO THE END OF THE ROAD...MAYBE??

Sitting here wondering if I am really done.  Some days, I feel like I’m on top of the world.  Others, I feel like a pawn; only being used when needed, only appreciated to be used some more.  All my life, I have defied acceptance.  I worked hard on not having an IDGAF attitude, all the while maintaining a positive outlook on life.  Even today while I was hosting, someone told me that loved my spirit. How everytime they see me I’m happy and trying to brighten people’s day.  It made me feel good until I realized that I rarely have anyone to make me feel good.  I mean I have a few people in my life that I feel “loves” me, but at the same time I wonder if I disappeared, who would care.  And that is my plight. Behind the smiles and the jokes is a person hurting.  Am I hurting for love? I’m not sure.  All I know is that each night that I lay my head down, a sigh of relief is breathed knowing I tried my best to be my best.  Who cares about my best? Who cares how much work and effort I put in to make any event I am a part of incredible? Who cares if I am the first person there, the last one to leave and the one that gets the least amount of money? Who cares if they show doesn’t run smooth as long as they have maximum customers? The answer is a blur to me.

Anything I do is funny or cool until someone feels it is directed towards them.  It is amazing how many people get offended by the things I say or do when they know this is me.  To some, I am awesome at what I do; until they feel they get the short end of the stick.  The owners, promoters, DJs, and artists don’t get the slack; I do.  For everything I try to do right, as soon as one thing wrong happens, I am to blame.  If the mics don’t work, blame Spaceship.  Car got hit? Spaceship’s fault.  Toilet stopped up? Yep, Spaceship again.  When at the end of the day all I truly care about is others enjoying themselves.  To make the patrons go out and want to tell others about what they just experienced and how they should come out next time.

I haven’t loved going out since 2009.  The year my grandmother died.  One my goals were for my grandparents to see my successful.  And since they are both gone, I don’t have that person in my life that is proud of me.  I have to proud of me.  And that is very hard to do when you are your own worst critic.  Nothing I do satisfies me.  I have a thirst for greatness and each day I want to be a better person than I was yesterday.  Or I did. I find myself fighting to care about order.  If I am going to get the short end of the stick, why should I put all my heart in soul in something knowing it’s not benefitting me? The more I work, the more I find myself being less tolerable to the BS and politics that this industry hold. I used to be so strong.  Now I feel like an exoskeleton.

In this business, one’s personal life takes a back seat. Call it unfair but that’s the life.  Just like any major entertainer, the demand and schedule can leave a lot of lonely nights and traveling that some people don’t understand.  For me, I work hard on separating my personal and business.  But when my business affects my personal, it becomes problematic.   I left teaching to pursue this life, and I was happy with my release from Ally because I knew what I could accomplish.  It’s not finances, travel, the schedule, or even the groupies that drain me; it’s the one’s I call my friends and family. The people I have built relationships with and the ones that take my talent as an “anybody can do it” task.  This is where I don’t feel appreciated. That little devil is on my shoulder saying if anybody can do what you do, let them do it.  But I have a commitment to music.  I want to be the beacon of light for my generation.

I just don’t know.  I decided to write because that’s all I can do.  Even knowing as many people that I do, I still feel alone.  I feel like no one understands my struggle.  And if they do, they don’t care. So why talk about it.  Maybe walking away will let me see clearly if this is what I want to do.  I don’t think I will be missed.   If anything, I may become an afterthought.  A person with little historical value to this thing we call hip hop.  Now, the question is can I deal with that? Can I deal with knowing all my hard work was truly in vain?  I guess I am about to find out.  I love yall.  I don’t know how I will feel when I wake up, but the decision I make, I will stand by.  And I pray you will stand by me.

Love yall!!!!!!

Church