Wow….I’m here…..don’t know where I came from…just decided to be here today…….few things to talk about….feel like just blabbing…..how are you all doing today?......I hope life has been treating you all well….me…I don’t even know..and I say that honestly……..some days are good….some days are woeful….and every day I learn something new…..I know I am very close to getting over this hump….just don’t know when…….when I am traveling, I look forward to the next big city be it 100 or 400 miles away……on this journey, I have see no landmarks until I reach it…….there are no major cities…..just a straight shot….in the dark…….and barely a headlight…….
My comprehension is not strong as in where this journey will take me…….I do pray every day that I become a better man out of it……sucks going to school and realizing you didn’t learn anything……I’m trying to be more honest with myself…..without hurting others in the process……..I say it’s tough…….it’s hard to be totally open while having so many flaws……so I truly thank each and every one of you that are still sticking by me…..for those I have lost, I do apologize and I hope reconciliation can take place…..as our journeys have crossed for a reason, we are sure to find a mutual ground as we cross with our separate burdens…….
I don’t plead for your sympathy….nor do I ask that you feel sorry for me…..as I know everything happens for a reason…..without causing any offense, I know that everyone can’t take the load I have been given….and as hard as the struggle may seem to me, good will eventually come out of it and I will be able to rest….but without work, there is no rest…..there is no time to sit idle while I see the destruction of an industry we all had a passion for…..and in that, I have failed…..
There is a vicious cycle that occurs when one gains some sort of achievement….it is called complacency…..it happens to the best of us….or…the worst of us…….I tried my hardest to stay in the streets, but due to the lack of my pulse, the Open Mic Night, I started dying…..I allowed my personal situation to conflict with my business situations…….mixing business with personal…….and I didn’t compensate for my love of this entertainment industry……so without that, I allow myself to stay in my conundrum……it’s coming up on a year since the album was released….how many completed songs have I made since then?...none…….in fact, my show opportunities have digressed, performing and hosting……why is that??............
I could blame it on the loss of Ja-Roq, going to jail twice, the loss of my grandmother, finances, relationships, or any other problem…but when it boils down to it; it’s me……now, I refuse to shoot you all a pity party, but seriously??..........I have to change my thinking……….and it’s the hardest thing I have ever had to do………
I miss socializing with you guys…..miss getting drunk, kicking it, talking about tea bagging and taking million of pictures……we were the glue to the streets….we kept Dallas hip hop going…….so I will make my pledge to do good bye you all….the ones that believes in me…….the ones that believed in me……..and the ones that will believe in me………….
Soooooooo..In other news…..what’s up with Bishop Long?........what is he doing messing with lil boys?......and wasn’t he or isn’t he one of the most anti-homosexual advocates in America??.......I’m just saying….what was he thinking??.......if for nothing else, YOU DON’T SEND EVIDENCE LIKE THAT!!...... you don’t like gay people but you sending homo erotic picture mail??......just for being a hypocrite, if the allegations are true, you should be vilified…….tsk, tsk……
Man, I almost punched my boss in the face today!!!.......it’s like he wants me to say something to get fired……but I’m not……I know what kind of person he is and on some many accords, he is right…….it’s just like he’s picking……I have to figure out a way to ignore him but not be rude about it…..I think that’s a big thing for me…saying things and not being rude about it……I don’t need to mean all the dog gone time…..
Happy birthday Mama C!!!!......if yall don’t know anything about me know that I love Mama C…she has been a God send in my life and definitely with the passing of my grandmother……she has been someone I can talk to and someone I can depend on to give me more wisdom….you don’t meet people like this every day and I know some people think our relationship is crazy……and you know what…it is…that's why it is so great!....happy birthday Mama C…Spaceship Ohayses loves you!!!.........
Before I go, I have to tell you about this cat at work……so I see him one day on break and he tells me he needs a place to stay…something happened and me being the person I am and knowing where I came from, I told him he could crash on my couch…..dude instantly started talking about being roommates…..ugh!!.......he texted me more than D’Lyte with promo information……it was a crazy situation….even after I informed him that I couldn’t do it..because in a conversation he got upset about me telling him he would have to leave when I left……..he still acted like he was moving in…..so one day I saw him and I started running the opposite way…….about five minutes later, I receive a text……it stated, “I was going to tell you that I found somewhere to stay, but you were running like you stole something.”……nah fool, I was running from you!!........
I’m gone..time to eat some spaghetti…….remember, I love each and every one of yall…rather you hate me or don’t even know me……
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
CLASH OF THE TITANS
So it’s 12:27 in the morning……and I am supposed to be sleep…..kinda surprising I’m even at home but I really needed to catch some rest…..and here I am up…..but I think it’s for a reason…..so I’m sitting in my room, watching some comedy and relaxing my mind into greener pastures…..and I figure I should check up on you guys…..I really don’t know why I don’t blog as much……I’m on the computer as much at work…but I guess it’s that I just don’t want to be on one thing like I need to be…to keep my focus….I find that some of my writings are very spotty when I have to constantly stop and start back…..s/n…I think I am learning to type without looking at the keys all the time…and I can use both hands…….that’s major for me..I have always been a pecker!!.......so how have yall been?........I’m actually excited that you all will be waking up and reading this………maybe it can help start your day in the right manor…….
Well let me get yall up to date with me…….because tonight’s edition really isn’t about me….per se……it’s more about life..the same pattern that I have been writing from as of late…..crazy seeing the evolution of this thing……well, I just got out of jail…AGAIN…for the same crap I went for in March……so needless to say, the saga is continuing……not hosting any open mics as of right now……how do I feel about that?......not really sure….some days it’s cool…I actually like that I can go around and chop it up with folks…..if they allow, I perform…….I even get on the mic when the opportunity presents itself…..but I like not have the crybaby drama the open mics were becoming……..and I felt the bigger it got, the more I was cheating those that really made what we did great…….
Got some things brewing though…so be on the look out……don’t really wanna get into everything but I will…..now since I have written tonight, it may become easier for me to do this regularly…..I am thinking about opening up my kitchen on the weekend……what do you think?.....meatloaf or pork chop plate, 2 sides, rolls and pop for the $8?..........sounds good to me!!........may need some delivery people…….
Anyway, thanks to a good friend of mine…..who I just realized puts me on a lot of eye opening things…..I watched some documentaries on the rap version of the illuminati……very interesting stuff…….I am not sure the validity of all that I read but I do think there is something very probably about this hypothesis……Jay-Z has been very questionable to me for a minute and some strings were tied together….amazingly enough, most of the videos do depict Shawn Carter as the leader of this illuminati……
Now the point I’m hoping to make is about our kids……its weird thinking how our music has changed….I want to state that even as an artist, I do not want you to think I am hateful toward the brand of music there is in society…….I like some of it….key word: SOME…….I remember back in the day how music just made you feel good……and even when it didn’t, it didn’t necessarily want you to hit a person for stepping on your shoes…..it didn’t tell you what to wear…how to think……the rhythms and grooves of music from the older eras, gave you a feeling of happiness…..it gave you a sense of power over your life……
Now music is geared towards the artist wanting power of your life…rap music was not developed for warfare, in whatever facet..it was a voice of the people that lived the streets and maybe could sing well……it was an expression of the slums, the ghettos, the recognizable tone of the struggle…….if you wanted to battle, meet me on a box and beat me at breaking……..it was about getting somewhere….now, it’s all about being there……if you don’t have it, you are a nobody……..it’s not about the grind to achieve…its what we do when we achieve……..seriously….how many bitches did we hear in rap music……..besides west coast music…….how many drug lords were we?.........how many countries did we have estates in?.........now there wouldn’t be such a problem…..IF ARTIST LIKE MYSELF ARE NOT SUCH BIG ROLE MODELS!!........and yes, I know some of my music is not for all kids……I’m saying…we have to have a balance as adults..sorry, it may not sound fair but it’s the truth……you can make a radio edit but the hook still says “live fast and die young?”…..wtf??........our future is in a no win situation………
With society so microwavable, our youth are not learning how to accomplish these dreams…all they are learning is what to have to be considered “something” in this world……so they have to get it…by hook or by crook…and by hook, I’m meaning music…….it’s not the art of hip hop anymore…..it’s the vicious cycle of “well, if they gonna give me a deal, I’ma take it”……..and who do we blame?.....the artist wants the money…the record label wants the power……and the record company wants the respect………we are so confused as to who to lay blame that eventually, we resign out feelings………
So we go on…..listening to the same music…letting out 3 year olds drop it low…….meaning the lyrics when “ I Hate You Bitch” or “I’m Wasted” comes on in the club…waiting on the bootleg man to come to the hair and nail shops on the weekend to get that new Lil Wayne…….I can dig it..I love it to……..
But what are we taking time to teach the ones that only know this way of life?....they don’t have role models except the ones on 106 and Park…we too busy watching reality shows with our kids missing a chance to explain what’s really going on to laugh at the white girl..……and why are we steady assuming they should know better…….
Or am I the one tripping??
Okay…..okay..I’m sleepy….just wanted to rant……ima let yall go..have a great Friday!!!
Love yall!!!!!
Church!!!
Well let me get yall up to date with me…….because tonight’s edition really isn’t about me….per se……it’s more about life..the same pattern that I have been writing from as of late…..crazy seeing the evolution of this thing……well, I just got out of jail…AGAIN…for the same crap I went for in March……so needless to say, the saga is continuing……not hosting any open mics as of right now……how do I feel about that?......not really sure….some days it’s cool…I actually like that I can go around and chop it up with folks…..if they allow, I perform…….I even get on the mic when the opportunity presents itself…..but I like not have the crybaby drama the open mics were becoming……..and I felt the bigger it got, the more I was cheating those that really made what we did great…….
Got some things brewing though…so be on the look out……don’t really wanna get into everything but I will…..now since I have written tonight, it may become easier for me to do this regularly…..I am thinking about opening up my kitchen on the weekend……what do you think?.....meatloaf or pork chop plate, 2 sides, rolls and pop for the $8?..........sounds good to me!!........may need some delivery people…….
Anyway, thanks to a good friend of mine…..who I just realized puts me on a lot of eye opening things…..I watched some documentaries on the rap version of the illuminati……very interesting stuff…….I am not sure the validity of all that I read but I do think there is something very probably about this hypothesis……Jay-Z has been very questionable to me for a minute and some strings were tied together….amazingly enough, most of the videos do depict Shawn Carter as the leader of this illuminati……
Now the point I’m hoping to make is about our kids……its weird thinking how our music has changed….I want to state that even as an artist, I do not want you to think I am hateful toward the brand of music there is in society…….I like some of it….key word: SOME…….I remember back in the day how music just made you feel good……and even when it didn’t, it didn’t necessarily want you to hit a person for stepping on your shoes…..it didn’t tell you what to wear…how to think……the rhythms and grooves of music from the older eras, gave you a feeling of happiness…..it gave you a sense of power over your life……
Now music is geared towards the artist wanting power of your life…rap music was not developed for warfare, in whatever facet..it was a voice of the people that lived the streets and maybe could sing well……it was an expression of the slums, the ghettos, the recognizable tone of the struggle…….if you wanted to battle, meet me on a box and beat me at breaking……..it was about getting somewhere….now, it’s all about being there……if you don’t have it, you are a nobody……..it’s not about the grind to achieve…its what we do when we achieve……..seriously….how many bitches did we hear in rap music……..besides west coast music…….how many drug lords were we?.........how many countries did we have estates in?.........now there wouldn’t be such a problem…..IF ARTIST LIKE MYSELF ARE NOT SUCH BIG ROLE MODELS!!........and yes, I know some of my music is not for all kids……I’m saying…we have to have a balance as adults..sorry, it may not sound fair but it’s the truth……you can make a radio edit but the hook still says “live fast and die young?”…..wtf??........our future is in a no win situation………
With society so microwavable, our youth are not learning how to accomplish these dreams…all they are learning is what to have to be considered “something” in this world……so they have to get it…by hook or by crook…and by hook, I’m meaning music…….it’s not the art of hip hop anymore…..it’s the vicious cycle of “well, if they gonna give me a deal, I’ma take it”……..and who do we blame?.....the artist wants the money…the record label wants the power……and the record company wants the respect………we are so confused as to who to lay blame that eventually, we resign out feelings………
So we go on…..listening to the same music…letting out 3 year olds drop it low…….meaning the lyrics when “ I Hate You Bitch” or “I’m Wasted” comes on in the club…waiting on the bootleg man to come to the hair and nail shops on the weekend to get that new Lil Wayne…….I can dig it..I love it to……..
But what are we taking time to teach the ones that only know this way of life?....they don’t have role models except the ones on 106 and Park…we too busy watching reality shows with our kids missing a chance to explain what’s really going on to laugh at the white girl..……and why are we steady assuming they should know better…….
Or am I the one tripping??
Okay…..okay..I’m sleepy….just wanted to rant……ima let yall go..have a great Friday!!!
Love yall!!!!!
Church!!!
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