I AM A REAL AMERICAN!!

Wow….I’m here…..don’t know where I came from…just decided to be here today…….few things to talk about….feel like just blabbing…..how are you all doing today?......I hope life has been treating you all well….me…I don’t even know..and I say that honestly……..some days are good….some days are woeful….and every day I learn something new…..I know I am very close to getting over this hump….just don’t know when…….when I am traveling, I look forward to the next big city be it 100 or 400 miles away……on this journey, I have see no landmarks until I reach it…….there are no major cities…..just a straight shot….in the dark…….and barely a headlight…….

My comprehension is not strong as in where this journey will take me…….I do pray every day that I become a better man out of it……sucks going to school and realizing you didn’t learn anything……I’m trying to be more honest with myself…..without hurting others in the process……..I say it’s tough…….it’s hard to be totally open while having so many flaws……so I truly thank each and every one of you that are still sticking by me…..for those I have lost, I do apologize and I hope reconciliation can take place…..as our journeys have crossed for a reason, we are sure to find a mutual ground as we cross with our separate burdens…….

I don’t plead for your sympathy….nor do I ask that you feel sorry for me…..as I know everything happens for a reason…..without causing any offense, I know that everyone can’t take the load I have been given….and as hard as the struggle may seem to me, good will eventually come out of it and I will be able to rest….but without work, there is no rest…..there is no time to sit idle while I see the destruction of an industry we all had a passion for…..and in that, I have failed…..

There is a vicious cycle that occurs when one gains some sort of achievement….it is called complacency…..it happens to the best of us….or…the worst of us…….I tried my hardest to stay in the streets, but due to the lack of my pulse, the Open Mic Night, I started dying…..I allowed my personal situation to conflict with my business situations…….mixing business with personal…….and I didn’t compensate for my love of this entertainment industry……so without that, I allow myself to stay in my conundrum……it’s coming up on a year since the album was released….how many completed songs have I made since then?...none…….in fact, my show opportunities have digressed, performing and hosting……why is that??............

I could blame it on the loss of Ja-Roq, going to jail twice, the loss of my grandmother, finances, relationships, or any other problem…but when it boils down to it; it’s me……now, I refuse to shoot you all a pity party, but seriously??..........I have to change my thinking……….and it’s the hardest thing I have ever had to do………

I miss socializing with you guys…..miss getting drunk, kicking it, talking about tea bagging and taking million of pictures……we were the glue to the streets….we kept Dallas hip hop going…….so I will make my pledge to do good bye you all….the ones that believes in me…….the ones that believed in me……..and the ones that will believe in me………….

Soooooooo..In other news…..what’s up with Bishop Long?........what is he doing messing with lil boys?......and wasn’t he or isn’t he one of the most anti-homosexual advocates in America??.......I’m just saying….what was he thinking??.......if for nothing else, YOU DON’T SEND EVIDENCE LIKE THAT!!...... you don’t like gay people but you sending homo erotic picture mail??......just for being a hypocrite, if the allegations are true, you should be vilified…….tsk, tsk……

Man, I almost punched my boss in the face today!!!.......it’s like he wants me to say something to get fired……but I’m not……I know what kind of person he is and on some many accords, he is right…….it’s just like he’s picking……I have to figure out a way to ignore him but not be rude about it…..I think that’s a big thing for me…saying things and not being rude about it……I don’t need to mean all the dog gone time…..

Happy birthday Mama C!!!!......if yall don’t know anything about me know that I love Mama C…she has been a God send in my life and definitely with the passing of my grandmother……she has been someone I can talk to and someone I can depend on to give me more wisdom….you don’t meet people like this every day and I know some people think our relationship is crazy……and you know what…it is…that's why it is so great!....happy birthday Mama C…Spaceship Ohayses loves you!!!.........

Before I go, I have to tell you about this cat at work……so I see him one day on break and he tells me he needs a place to stay…something happened and me being the person I am and knowing where I came from, I told him he could crash on my couch…..dude instantly started talking about being roommates…..ugh!!.......he texted me more than D’Lyte with promo information……it was a crazy situation….even after I informed him that I couldn’t do it..because in a conversation he got upset about me telling him he would have to leave when I left……..he still acted like he was moving in…..so one day I saw him and I started running the opposite way…….about five minutes later, I receive a text……it stated, “I was going to tell you that I found somewhere to stay, but you were running like you stole something.”……nah fool, I was running from you!!........

I’m gone..time to eat some spaghetti…….remember, I love each and every one of yall…rather you hate me or don’t even know me……

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!