Good afternoon great people!!.....yeah, I am here…..at work too…….hope you all are doing well….weather is changing, time to find that cuddle partner and it’s Friday!!.......I’m feeling pretty good myself…..just realized how bored I am at work today so I decided to check up on yall……..
Life is getting better for me…..you know, had some crazy things happen, but through the greatness of God, I am finding strength…..and its not getting to me like before…..its amazing how you learn about people after your relationship is over…..and I’m not just talking about girlfriend, boyfriend relationship…..over this hiatus I have taken from doing any entertainment, I have learned how much folks really don’t care about you……its all about them…..people that I have helped find shows, hosted for, performed for, worked with, and endured in business decisions with disappear when they find out you don’t have a purpose for them…..I guess that’s a lesson I should have already known…..I find it funny and sad how some people can act like they need you, but if you don’t do what they want you to, its so easy for them to dispose of you…..even in the sporadic thoughts that my blog has given over the past 2-3 months, I am still finding people taking my words out of context and being messy about them…..on one hand, at least they still have my name in their mouth…..but on the other, I’m human and its hard to fathom someone lying on you for the sole purpose of curing their own embarrassment…...and yes, if you feel like I am talking to you this time….I AM!!....
At the same time, I have found myself healing some scarred relationships that I may have damaged myself…..and with God guiding my words, I have been able to sever some hard feelings.....no, not in the sense that we are bff’s again…..but at least forgiving on both parts have taken place……and it’s a good feeling….once again, I am human and I do not like to be the source of someone’s ill will or frustration…..don’t even like being around if I know I put a damper on one’s spirit……its just me.....right, wrong, or indifferent, I want to make the world a better place…not be someone that folks don’t like to be around…..except at work, where I really don’t care!!!.........
Its almost been 2 years since my grandfather passed……October 22nd……1 year since my album release party….October 23rd……and one year from my grandmother’s birthday and her untimely heart attack…October 23rd as well….thinking about taking off work for a few days…..don’t think I would like to deal with it here at work….I am already cranky and not knowing if I will explode leads to believe that I don’t need to be at work on those days……its funny because as much as I think I about their passing’s, I still don’t know if I have dealt with it….but then again, how do I?......what is the appropriate way to deal with the passing of your parents…and yes, I do recognize them as my mother and father because of all they have done for me…..and the things they taught me along the way….I may not have paid attention to them then….but I have never forgot anything they said to me…..
Now, my mom may read this and if she does, I will probably get a phone call asking why I put something like that in my blog……I will tell u why…..its the truth….not going to go into too many details but I hope she doesn’t call or read this….my mind is not in a place to be tactful……
I had a show last night at the Skillman Street Pub and I must admit…it was one of my favorite shows I have performed at down here…..you might think “what’s the big deal?”…but for me it was a big deal….I left there and went to the Curtain Club to go chop it up with Fiend……he used to performed with No Limit back in the Day if you remember…no I didn’t go to see him perform……or to be a groupie… HE CALLED ME….and that in itself was a great feeling……but I was thinking….I don’t take a lot of pictures with celebrities…I mean, I am around them a lot….talk to them pretty frequently....and are even on first name basis……I wonder if I should photo drop some artist to prove I am in the loop…..like last night…I sat in VIP with him watching folk shaking hands and hugging him and just standing around him and I’m like ugh!!.......wasn’t that serious to me….but maybe…just maybe….I should think outside MY box….I mean, I fucks with Supa K and Keynote from the radio station and when I bring them up in conversation, I have seen chicks panties get wet!!...I’m like “they are so regular people!!”…..when has been a groupie ever been a good thing??
Been a very proud father lately….Jayla is in Pre-K and to see the growth…to hear the growth and to acknowledge that growth is a beautiful thing…..she is truly becoming a woman as much as she talks but I love every minute of it…..I remember her being born and now she is going to school……Stephanie has been getting on my butt about spending more time with her, not because I don’t….its now 3 women in their household….and no matter what you say or think, 3 women in a house is never good……too many attitudes….and I think she gets the needed discipline at my house…..I told someone the other day, I think that’s the only thing I like about being in my financial rut…….spending time with Jayla…I cant afford to buy her happiness…..we do things like watch movies, make puppets, go to the park, read, or we just sit there and I listen to her…..and the great thing is, she is appreciative……at that moment, I am all that matters to her….and in this world of childish grown folks, haters, groupies, whiners, complainers, pessimist, and naysayers, she gives me the motivation to continue to push on………
Well I am going to blow out of here…….pray for my sister Charita…she was in a car accident….don’t know the details yet, but prayers are always encouraged……
I really do miss you all……to the ones that I do talk to on a regular or even semi-regular, I thank you so much…..I am learning that we don’t realized the power we have in uplifting folks…..and to each and everyone of you, I thank you for continuing to uplift me……sometimes I do feel like I am letting people down……and sometimes you tell me to continue to have patience…so I endure……and none of you will be forgotten…..
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!!
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