Tis the season!!.....hola folks…I hope that this holiday has brought you all much cheer……2011 is quickly approaching and while many have resolutions that they hope not to break within the first week, I’m going to simply work on making each day of my life better than the last…..Christmas was Christmas of course, and now its time to look forward to another calendar year of life…..I will make an honest attempt next year, to get back on these blogs like I used to…its hard when your life is so boring now….but I do miss you guys….and when I do blog, I usually get such great feedback!!........
***BREAKING NEWS!!!!*** JUST GOT A CALL CONFIRMING HOSTING AND PERFORMING AT A CONCERT FOR SUPER BOWL!!!......GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME!!.......
Hopefully, I can get the band to play if applicable……this is very exciting news to me….I pray everything goes well in this endeavor and a lot of you can come out and see me rock the show…..more details to come!!........
Its crazy how I sit here so many days contemplating retirement……even at the young age of 30, God has blessed me to do so many things…..some successful, while others were learning experiences…..I have tried hard to hold on to the fact that I am touching someone’s life and the things I do are not in vain……there are days when my conviction is weak…..times when I feel the fight is doing more harm than good on my spiritual, emotional, and professional journeys…then there is that subtle reality check……..
Today is Mr. John Rhymes’ birthday…..this is the man that I owe my life to….as a mentor, he was the first adult I can remember that loved me in spite of……even when I was constantly getting kicked out of school, he didn’t scold me like most…..but don’t take that as soft….he just forced me to think about more than the streets…..and I have never been as defiant as more young men in the hood…my grandmother, regardless of our relationship, did not allow me to buck up against her or call her out her name…….I simply left home thinking I could make it by myself…..well, I always had Mr. Rhymes in my corner……
I called him today to wish him happy birthday…I haven’t talked to him in a year and after about the 2nd month of no communication, I felt so guilty, I still didn’t call for fear of hearing disappointment in his voice…yet, when I heard from him today, he sounded excited like it was him that owed me something…all the trepidation was instantly gone…..we talked about what he has been up to and lately, he told me, he has been substituting at an alternative school…now, Mr. Rhymes is retired….he worked for the school system in Flint for a long time…..things happen and he ended up in a classroom…..the point of it all is, the kids and teachers appreciate him…..for everything he has done, he is still touching lives…..his glass half full mentality is infectious even 13 years later after I graduated high school…..and you could hear how humble he was in his voice……..
I don’t know how much longer I have in this industry…..as I mentioned, there are a lot of times that I feel its time to stop…..become regular……in these past few months where shows and opportunities have lessened, I have enjoyed it……but I have gotten really lazy and lax…I still go out, network, make music, and things of that sort…but not like I used to…..and not being a blessing to people bothers me…..its very hard for me to be unimportant…..I strive on making change….I want to make changes in the world……I pride myself on being the best person I can for as many people as I can….and when I am neutral, I have a hermit mentality…I realized, that until that final date, I will do my best to be my best…..
This is my resolution, of sorts…….to never stop being a blessing…to never get too weary to help others….to let my selfishness and bitterness die and the presence of the Lord shine in all my endeavors…..I will not stop, I can not stop….at this moment in my life I feel like a car getting a new engine….no, the old one was not completely dead, but before that happens, my mechanic will place a new engine inside me…..if he does not complete the work, the car cant move…..it has absolutely no value….so I have to get fixed so that I can run smoother…..and help people travel from one place in their lives to the next….after all, I am Spaceship Ohayses!!.......
Well I’m going to get out of here…once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. RHYMES….I love you and I thank you for all that you have done for me….I know without you in my life, I would not be where I am……God Bless you my friend…..
Church!!!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
SAM'S CLUB PORTION OF FATE.....
Its 11:29…..I got me a mocha frappe in my hand…and I decided to write…..how are you all doing?.....I am good…very good right now……to those that are reading for the first time, welcome….to those that have rode with me on this journey for nearly two years, hello……..realistically, I don’t have a clue what to talk about tonight……but I will shortly…..motivation to the left of me……I guess the sole purpose of this blog is to let you all know I am alright…..God has been good to me….and I am anticipating great things in 2011……..dang, 11 years after the world was gonna end?!..........that’s a long time……
Just performed at Kwanzaa Fest this past Saturday…..it was one of the larger crowds, I have had the privilege of performing in front of…..I enjoyed every minute of it…..in my mind, it was a big time venue…..it was a chance to meet new people, interact with local favorites and legends, and get some exposure on a bigger Dallas level…..it helped me to realize that maybe I’m not done yet…..maybe I can get the consumers to respect and want my music…..performances have been so sporadic the past six months, it has been very hard to gauge my audience……but I’m working on it…….
Got a show Christmas Eve……I know that’s a busy time for a lot of people…but if you get the chance, come on out…..it’s at TI Blvd……very special guest will be in the building….I will be hosting as well as performing…..its only 5 bucks…..I think…I will get you details in the upcoming days……
I have finally decided that Act A Fool will be my first single from the album…..I know what you thinking….the album has been out over a year and you just decided on your lead single…..yep…..those are the breaks when It comes to music…..on a tangent, I have learned so much about the business side of this game in the last year, while possibly performing the least in over 3 years……you truly got to have your ducks in a row…..its hard releasing an album when you don’t have one precise song that people can identify you with……yeah, some folks know some songs….I need to get as many people as possible to know this one song……so, this is what we are doing…..
IF YOU ARE READING THIS...NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE….CITY, STATE, COUNTRY……YOU CAN TEXT SPACESHIP OHAYSES “ACT A FOOL” TO 51045 and 3145….it will take you less than a minute to do…..and if you want to hear the song, google me…or go to www.reverbnation.com/spaceshipohayses ....as a matter in fact, I encourage you to…..
I think that is part of the issue I fight within my spirit……not knowing if you know….it’s crazy how we support the things we want….and the truth is, without fans, I am nothing….but have u taken the time to check out the music….seriously?.....we listen to Short Bus Shorty….and Antoine Dodson…..and anything else deemed hilarious…..I, on the other hand, can’t get people I personally know to simply check something out and tell others…..not getting into a pity party here either…its facts….some days I wonder if I am just conjuring up my greatness in music…..and then I have people tell me how they like my music…..but who do they tell…the buck stops with them….I have been at clubs where people come up to me and want a particular song played…..are there people out there asking the DJ does he have Spaceship Ohayses??....am I simply taken for granted because I am not a big name now?.....how many times has my CD been played in people’s vehicles, homes, events?......this is the realistic stance I have to take concerning my artistry……
I have contemplated retiring on many occasions…sometimes, it’s just not worth it……there are plenty days where the risk outweighs the reward simply because I look at what is…..my grandfather taught me never to be a beggar, but am I doing enough?......am I convincing enough to have you take a chance on me?......or am I fighting a fight I can’t win?......is the truth, that I am not as great as I think or has my time passed me by?......I can only make so many sacrifices for my daughter until I realize I have nothing left to give to this industry…….
I look at some of the relationships I have made over this time frame and while some people say they want to be within my circle….in whatever facet…how can I accept that statement knowing you only want to be friends with the man behind Spaceship Ohayses……it’s a package deal here folks…..and no matter who you are, why would u associate yourself with people who don’t support your dream?....I have enough facebook friends..probably too many…..had enough females that just wanted to cut….here, buy a ringtone or something……it baffles me how some just wanna lay and wait to see if I will sink or swim….you mean to tell me you know me but don’t even know a title of one of my songs?...that’s impossible to fathom simply because everyone knows this is my life……
I do think about how many people will come around when God does bless me…….I pray my attitude changes by then….
I think about my mom and other members of my family that will finally forgive me for past sins…..
And to the ladies that didn’t believe in me……or didn’t want to because Lil Wayne is their favorite rapper…….
Sorry folks……some people can tell you that they don’t care what others think about them…but as an entertainer, I do……if you don’t like my brand of entertainment, what am I doing it for?......if you don’t feel the urge to use the simplest for of advertisement; word of mouth, what does that really say about your position on my craft……every ball player doesn’t make it to the NBA….and some of them have been pretty good…..so sooner or later, I may have to accept my fate……I won’t feel defeated…I have tried my hardest to bring to you something good….something different…..something timeless……and all I can do is try…..I have experienced great things along my journey in music……and loved every minute of it…….but the facts remain….if no one is asking for my music, why should a DJ play it?.......if no one is trying to buy it, why should anyone sell it?.......and if no one is listening to it, why should I record it?.........
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!!
Just performed at Kwanzaa Fest this past Saturday…..it was one of the larger crowds, I have had the privilege of performing in front of…..I enjoyed every minute of it…..in my mind, it was a big time venue…..it was a chance to meet new people, interact with local favorites and legends, and get some exposure on a bigger Dallas level…..it helped me to realize that maybe I’m not done yet…..maybe I can get the consumers to respect and want my music…..performances have been so sporadic the past six months, it has been very hard to gauge my audience……but I’m working on it…….
Got a show Christmas Eve……I know that’s a busy time for a lot of people…but if you get the chance, come on out…..it’s at TI Blvd……very special guest will be in the building….I will be hosting as well as performing…..its only 5 bucks…..I think…I will get you details in the upcoming days……
I have finally decided that Act A Fool will be my first single from the album…..I know what you thinking….the album has been out over a year and you just decided on your lead single…..yep…..those are the breaks when It comes to music…..on a tangent, I have learned so much about the business side of this game in the last year, while possibly performing the least in over 3 years……you truly got to have your ducks in a row…..its hard releasing an album when you don’t have one precise song that people can identify you with……yeah, some folks know some songs….I need to get as many people as possible to know this one song……so, this is what we are doing…..
IF YOU ARE READING THIS...NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE….CITY, STATE, COUNTRY……YOU CAN TEXT SPACESHIP OHAYSES “ACT A FOOL” TO 51045 and 3145….it will take you less than a minute to do…..and if you want to hear the song, google me…or go to www.reverbnation.com/spaceshipohayses ....as a matter in fact, I encourage you to…..
I think that is part of the issue I fight within my spirit……not knowing if you know….it’s crazy how we support the things we want….and the truth is, without fans, I am nothing….but have u taken the time to check out the music….seriously?.....we listen to Short Bus Shorty….and Antoine Dodson…..and anything else deemed hilarious…..I, on the other hand, can’t get people I personally know to simply check something out and tell others…..not getting into a pity party here either…its facts….some days I wonder if I am just conjuring up my greatness in music…..and then I have people tell me how they like my music…..but who do they tell…the buck stops with them….I have been at clubs where people come up to me and want a particular song played…..are there people out there asking the DJ does he have Spaceship Ohayses??....am I simply taken for granted because I am not a big name now?.....how many times has my CD been played in people’s vehicles, homes, events?......this is the realistic stance I have to take concerning my artistry……
I have contemplated retiring on many occasions…sometimes, it’s just not worth it……there are plenty days where the risk outweighs the reward simply because I look at what is…..my grandfather taught me never to be a beggar, but am I doing enough?......am I convincing enough to have you take a chance on me?......or am I fighting a fight I can’t win?......is the truth, that I am not as great as I think or has my time passed me by?......I can only make so many sacrifices for my daughter until I realize I have nothing left to give to this industry…….
I look at some of the relationships I have made over this time frame and while some people say they want to be within my circle….in whatever facet…how can I accept that statement knowing you only want to be friends with the man behind Spaceship Ohayses……it’s a package deal here folks…..and no matter who you are, why would u associate yourself with people who don’t support your dream?....I have enough facebook friends..probably too many…..had enough females that just wanted to cut….here, buy a ringtone or something……it baffles me how some just wanna lay and wait to see if I will sink or swim….you mean to tell me you know me but don’t even know a title of one of my songs?...that’s impossible to fathom simply because everyone knows this is my life……
I do think about how many people will come around when God does bless me…….I pray my attitude changes by then….
I think about my mom and other members of my family that will finally forgive me for past sins…..
And to the ladies that didn’t believe in me……or didn’t want to because Lil Wayne is their favorite rapper…….
Sorry folks……some people can tell you that they don’t care what others think about them…but as an entertainer, I do……if you don’t like my brand of entertainment, what am I doing it for?......if you don’t feel the urge to use the simplest for of advertisement; word of mouth, what does that really say about your position on my craft……every ball player doesn’t make it to the NBA….and some of them have been pretty good…..so sooner or later, I may have to accept my fate……I won’t feel defeated…I have tried my hardest to bring to you something good….something different…..something timeless……and all I can do is try…..I have experienced great things along my journey in music……and loved every minute of it…….but the facts remain….if no one is asking for my music, why should a DJ play it?.......if no one is trying to buy it, why should anyone sell it?.......and if no one is listening to it, why should I record it?.........
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!!
Monday, December 6, 2010
THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE.....
Well, today is the day…..December 6, 2010 marks the one year anniversary of the passing of my grandmother…..today, as I look back on the past year, I wonder if she is looking down smiling on me……and I wonder if she is proud of her grandson…..throughout my life, I have been nothing less than a hard wall, distancing myself from anyone who truly cares and try to get close…actually, anything…..my feelings and emotions included….I always justify feelings as distractions from truth…..sometimes we don’t want the truth; we want comfort…..and to those that know me, understand me…and those that don’t or are attempting to get to know me, I may seem too straight forward…too blunt….to nonchalant…..an too emotionless…..I realized today that, while trying to be a defender of truth and such an honest guy, I have completely been lying to myself……I have no earthly idea who I am or what I want anymore……and for this truth, I am deeply saddened………
As much as I don’t converse about relationships, I do want to be loved……and then I tell myself that maybe…just maybe….I don’t know how to accept love……the problem is not me loving…..the wall that I have is not designed to get me in…..its purpose is to keep others out……and throughout my life, I have experienced reasons for this happening…..the great thing about my grandmother during the final years of her life, was that she finally accepted me for who I was……some people might think that is not a big deal but in my life….in my family, I was never accepted by those my senior……I was always the boy, people were waiting to fuck up so that they could say “we told you so”……I have been gone from home since 1998……rarely coming back……they were no college updates, no “how are you doing”, “what are you doing”, or “we are proud of you”……not even when I got married was my family excited……it was more trepidation of how long will it last……that played a major factor in trying to make it work for me……but shortly after my grandfather passed away, my grandmother and I began to mend our relationship…..(now let me say this: the reason our relationship was scarred was two fold…..more conscious harm was done on my part…I was the cause for a lot of this and my backlash probably made it impossible for my grandmother to do these things earlier…..as kids, sometimes, we always think we are right…I was no exception)…we would converse more frequently…laugh during our talks…..and she would ask questions about my life, Jayla, my music…even asked when I was coming home to visit!!.......it put a smile on my face that I could call my grandmother and she would sound like she missed me…….it really made me push to be a better man…….
And then last year….when she passed, I felt a piece of me stopped…..its like a robot not being completed before the mad scientist dies…..I was close….and now it seems that void has come back….harder….stronger…and taller……there are many days and nights, I just long for her advice…..whether I want to hear it or not……days when I just needed her laugh….to know she was okay……its so cliché to say she’s in a better place….but selfishly looking, am I?.......I was never the type to give empathetic words or try to put myself in other shoes…..and im glad…it kills me how some people think its gonna be okay….and how I just have to cope…..duh!! do I really have a choice…..and even with that statement, I do appreciate the care and also see my wall…..I haven’t coped….don’t know if I have truly dealt with it…….life without her is so different…..it used to be easy not to talk to family members because I knew if I talk to my granny, everyone would know how I am doing……now, I wonder sometimes if my family even knows if I am alive…….
I was just learning how to love…and I was learning how to let love……now I find myself losing in this category once more….that word, love….is thrown around so much but the definition and actions of that 4 letter word is so powerful….when you tell someone you love them, you should mean it……not conditional…not half way….and the definition of your love should be confirmed……nowadays, love is a confusing state of being for me…..what should I love and who should I love…..if love is something that you have never been around, how can you identify it……how do you justify it……and how do react if it leaves……I know there are people that love me…..but why?.....and why should I trust it?.......I have been left in the cold more than I would like so why should I open my heart….why should I believe the word love even exist except in relation to God……his is the only love that unconditional…
each day that passes, I miss you more grandma…..each day that passes, you are appreciated more for you effort to love me….and for the comfort I felt in loving you and allowing you do your job as a parent….it was harder than you can imagine….or maybe not….I pray to see your face again….I know you and granddad up in heaven chillin, probably playing pokeno watching Benny Hinn, laughing at the good times…..and for that I am grateful……..I do indeed love you…..and I am sorry I didn’t learn how to love you sooner……
But you know what they say…in order to love someone, you have to love yourself first……and the first order of loving yourself is confession……..so, here it is…..
To be continued……….
As much as I don’t converse about relationships, I do want to be loved……and then I tell myself that maybe…just maybe….I don’t know how to accept love……the problem is not me loving…..the wall that I have is not designed to get me in…..its purpose is to keep others out……and throughout my life, I have experienced reasons for this happening…..the great thing about my grandmother during the final years of her life, was that she finally accepted me for who I was……some people might think that is not a big deal but in my life….in my family, I was never accepted by those my senior……I was always the boy, people were waiting to fuck up so that they could say “we told you so”……I have been gone from home since 1998……rarely coming back……they were no college updates, no “how are you doing”, “what are you doing”, or “we are proud of you”……not even when I got married was my family excited……it was more trepidation of how long will it last……that played a major factor in trying to make it work for me……but shortly after my grandfather passed away, my grandmother and I began to mend our relationship…..(now let me say this: the reason our relationship was scarred was two fold…..more conscious harm was done on my part…I was the cause for a lot of this and my backlash probably made it impossible for my grandmother to do these things earlier…..as kids, sometimes, we always think we are right…I was no exception)…we would converse more frequently…laugh during our talks…..and she would ask questions about my life, Jayla, my music…even asked when I was coming home to visit!!.......it put a smile on my face that I could call my grandmother and she would sound like she missed me…….it really made me push to be a better man…….
And then last year….when she passed, I felt a piece of me stopped…..its like a robot not being completed before the mad scientist dies…..I was close….and now it seems that void has come back….harder….stronger…and taller……there are many days and nights, I just long for her advice…..whether I want to hear it or not……days when I just needed her laugh….to know she was okay……its so cliché to say she’s in a better place….but selfishly looking, am I?.......I was never the type to give empathetic words or try to put myself in other shoes…..and im glad…it kills me how some people think its gonna be okay….and how I just have to cope…..duh!! do I really have a choice…..and even with that statement, I do appreciate the care and also see my wall…..I haven’t coped….don’t know if I have truly dealt with it…….life without her is so different…..it used to be easy not to talk to family members because I knew if I talk to my granny, everyone would know how I am doing……now, I wonder sometimes if my family even knows if I am alive…….
I was just learning how to love…and I was learning how to let love……now I find myself losing in this category once more….that word, love….is thrown around so much but the definition and actions of that 4 letter word is so powerful….when you tell someone you love them, you should mean it……not conditional…not half way….and the definition of your love should be confirmed……nowadays, love is a confusing state of being for me…..what should I love and who should I love…..if love is something that you have never been around, how can you identify it……how do you justify it……and how do react if it leaves……I know there are people that love me…..but why?.....and why should I trust it?.......I have been left in the cold more than I would like so why should I open my heart….why should I believe the word love even exist except in relation to God……his is the only love that unconditional…
each day that passes, I miss you more grandma…..each day that passes, you are appreciated more for you effort to love me….and for the comfort I felt in loving you and allowing you do your job as a parent….it was harder than you can imagine….or maybe not….I pray to see your face again….I know you and granddad up in heaven chillin, probably playing pokeno watching Benny Hinn, laughing at the good times…..and for that I am grateful……..I do indeed love you…..and I am sorry I didn’t learn how to love you sooner……
But you know what they say…in order to love someone, you have to love yourself first……and the first order of loving yourself is confession……..so, here it is…..
To be continued……….
Friday, November 26, 2010
THANK YOU.......
November 27, 2010
To whom it may concern:
Yeah, you knew I was going to right this…..even if you say you not going to read it, I know you will……you can’t help it…..you love drama….you love the animosity…..you love the attention….and since you do, I am going to give it to you…..this may be the hardest letter I ever had to write……and also the one I wanted to write the most….but I need to get this out….if you ever read any of my blogs, you know how much I have struggled with my inner self…..trying to find the balance between good and evil….trying to understand the answers to all the questions I have in my soul……I want to be a better man…….the funny thing is, you don’t know me……you can say you do, but you really have no clue who I am…..and you have truly never tried…..you like living on rumors and assumptions……you’re the epitome of a mirror……you only look at the world as if it revolves around you……so since you want everything to be about you, here goes…….
You are a self-centered and shallow individual……disrespectful, disobedient, distasteful, and disgusting human being…..you are the exact opposite of what God wants us to be……to some people in your life you have a title…..parent, sibling, child, cousin, and spouse…but besides that, they would wish you out of their lives…..you don’t know how much it sickens me to say this…because I love you….I do give you a title and it is by force; not by choice….I have attempted, because of this, to give you the benefit of the doubt….it’s simply not working…..in the eyes of someone outside that bubble of ties, you are a horrible role model……..I think it’s telling that you keep few friends and even fewer relatives in your circle……you have high turnover ratio for a reason……as hard as I try to say this is wrong to be doing, I recognize that you don’t stopped your pit party to listen to anyone else……so this must be done……..
Maybe I am being partial, but I have never seen a worse parent……its hard for me to act grateful for something I had no control over…..sure, abortion is prevalent, but will you forever remind your kids of this fact?.......I sit back and wonder how a person can live with their parent, take care of their parent, and have to listen to their constant nagging and complaining…..and lets be real…its not like you did a lot for your kids when they were growing up……remember you missed your son’s graduation getting dressed?........I didn’t see you at any of your daughter’s functions……any birthday parties?....how about cards?........just for the record, what did you do?......and its not like your kids don’t love you….they just tired of feeling indebted to you…….
You parents died and somehow you made the funeral about you……made me laugh hearing the young folks betting on how long it would take you to cry….truth be told, most your drama probably drove them to a quicker death…..they were healthier when you wasn’t around……and always talking about how bad they did you…are you freaking kidding me??!!!.....they couldn’t do you anyway, your sheisty ass getting them to sign papers they have no clue what they are signing……bills in everybody name…….even had the gall to say your father wasn’t your father AFTER he dead……. Please, let them rest in peace…..you know how we get quiet when you talk?....its not out of respect……everyone know you lying…….its like you are ashamed of yourself…..but in the process, you push everyone away………
The sad part is you don’t see that….you so busy playing the victim that you don’t realize you have a family that loves you……we don’t want you not to be a part of our lives……we just don’t wanna be blamed for your transgressions…..we are all grown and respect is given when respect is earned……be honest with us……act like you are human and you make mistakes……stop with the pride and haughtiness….I prayed God was showing you something during your last tribulation….and maybe he has….but the display you put on today was the final straw for me……funny thing about it, I’m not mad at ya; more hurt than anything……
Some things you just don’t say………there is a fine line for anyone and I don’t believe that once you say certain things, you can go back……because if I had any respect to mankind, I would not say those things…..I am not unmindful that many people will be reading this so I intentionally kept gender, names , and any other reference out of this letter……there are a lot more things we could discuss in this as well and you know it…..you have been a horrible person in my life and I promise I tried….regardless of what you think…..my reason for this is because I honestly don’t believe you have ever allowed someone to tell you about yourself…and that is something we all need…….back to my thought…….you said some things today that you will never be able to take back….and you didn’t say some things that I will always remember……and you cut me deep…..now my soul is fucked up……
I promise I want to hate you right now……when I first read your letter, I wanted to say some things….and I almost put them in here…..ugh!!!........anyway…….you said goodbye forever…and I know even life in prison is only 20 years……or it was….so I do expect you to come back in my life sooner rather than later…..but I will let you have your moment….I will allow you to do the things you said and never speak to me again…..too bad you can’t control that…..
So I guess I can say, I’m kinda thankful today you are out of my life…..you were a drug…..and now I can flush my system and move on….you are actually helping my process in becoming a better person….I don’t feel bad…and I don’t have any regrets…I tried very hard to love you……it sucks you just don’t see it…..
Until We Meet Again,
Spaceship Ohayses
To whom it may concern:
Yeah, you knew I was going to right this…..even if you say you not going to read it, I know you will……you can’t help it…..you love drama….you love the animosity…..you love the attention….and since you do, I am going to give it to you…..this may be the hardest letter I ever had to write……and also the one I wanted to write the most….but I need to get this out….if you ever read any of my blogs, you know how much I have struggled with my inner self…..trying to find the balance between good and evil….trying to understand the answers to all the questions I have in my soul……I want to be a better man…….the funny thing is, you don’t know me……you can say you do, but you really have no clue who I am…..and you have truly never tried…..you like living on rumors and assumptions……you’re the epitome of a mirror……you only look at the world as if it revolves around you……so since you want everything to be about you, here goes…….
You are a self-centered and shallow individual……disrespectful, disobedient, distasteful, and disgusting human being…..you are the exact opposite of what God wants us to be……to some people in your life you have a title…..parent, sibling, child, cousin, and spouse…but besides that, they would wish you out of their lives…..you don’t know how much it sickens me to say this…because I love you….I do give you a title and it is by force; not by choice….I have attempted, because of this, to give you the benefit of the doubt….it’s simply not working…..in the eyes of someone outside that bubble of ties, you are a horrible role model……..I think it’s telling that you keep few friends and even fewer relatives in your circle……you have high turnover ratio for a reason……as hard as I try to say this is wrong to be doing, I recognize that you don’t stopped your pit party to listen to anyone else……so this must be done……..
Maybe I am being partial, but I have never seen a worse parent……its hard for me to act grateful for something I had no control over…..sure, abortion is prevalent, but will you forever remind your kids of this fact?.......I sit back and wonder how a person can live with their parent, take care of their parent, and have to listen to their constant nagging and complaining…..and lets be real…its not like you did a lot for your kids when they were growing up……remember you missed your son’s graduation getting dressed?........I didn’t see you at any of your daughter’s functions……any birthday parties?....how about cards?........just for the record, what did you do?......and its not like your kids don’t love you….they just tired of feeling indebted to you…….
You parents died and somehow you made the funeral about you……made me laugh hearing the young folks betting on how long it would take you to cry….truth be told, most your drama probably drove them to a quicker death…..they were healthier when you wasn’t around……and always talking about how bad they did you…are you freaking kidding me??!!!.....they couldn’t do you anyway, your sheisty ass getting them to sign papers they have no clue what they are signing……bills in everybody name…….even had the gall to say your father wasn’t your father AFTER he dead……. Please, let them rest in peace…..you know how we get quiet when you talk?....its not out of respect……everyone know you lying…….its like you are ashamed of yourself…..but in the process, you push everyone away………
The sad part is you don’t see that….you so busy playing the victim that you don’t realize you have a family that loves you……we don’t want you not to be a part of our lives……we just don’t wanna be blamed for your transgressions…..we are all grown and respect is given when respect is earned……be honest with us……act like you are human and you make mistakes……stop with the pride and haughtiness….I prayed God was showing you something during your last tribulation….and maybe he has….but the display you put on today was the final straw for me……funny thing about it, I’m not mad at ya; more hurt than anything……
Some things you just don’t say………there is a fine line for anyone and I don’t believe that once you say certain things, you can go back……because if I had any respect to mankind, I would not say those things…..I am not unmindful that many people will be reading this so I intentionally kept gender, names , and any other reference out of this letter……there are a lot more things we could discuss in this as well and you know it…..you have been a horrible person in my life and I promise I tried….regardless of what you think…..my reason for this is because I honestly don’t believe you have ever allowed someone to tell you about yourself…and that is something we all need…….back to my thought…….you said some things today that you will never be able to take back….and you didn’t say some things that I will always remember……and you cut me deep…..now my soul is fucked up……
I promise I want to hate you right now……when I first read your letter, I wanted to say some things….and I almost put them in here…..ugh!!!........anyway…….you said goodbye forever…and I know even life in prison is only 20 years……or it was….so I do expect you to come back in my life sooner rather than later…..but I will let you have your moment….I will allow you to do the things you said and never speak to me again…..too bad you can’t control that…..
So I guess I can say, I’m kinda thankful today you are out of my life…..you were a drug…..and now I can flush my system and move on….you are actually helping my process in becoming a better person….I don’t feel bad…and I don’t have any regrets…I tried very hard to love you……it sucks you just don’t see it…..
Until We Meet Again,
Spaceship Ohayses
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
SHOOTING CRAPS WITH MONOPOLY DICE
Well look at here…..good afternoon to all my favorite Martians….I hope that you all are well and having an enjoyable week so far…..this is Wise Words of Spaceship and I am your conductor for the evening……lot of things to talk about…..not a lot of time to talk about them…..I will do my best to compete this journey in a timely and efficient matter…sit back…drink all you want now, because if you laugh and spit something on a co-worker, do not blame me!!......and enjoy another edition of Wise Words of Spaceship……
Before I continue, I must embark on something……its hard censoring myself……and being an entertainer, I am learning that there are some things I can and cant say….there are a lot of people that I am now finding out are upset with me over things I may have put in my blog or used as a title……to them, I say with all my heart….YO BAD!!!......I don’t take shots at anyone…sometimes, I may over think things or used things to create something else, but damn!!....stop being so sensitive….and its funny because I rarely use names…….but it still ends up hitting nerves of people……at the end of the day, these same people have tried to defame my name or make me look like the bad guy to people that don’t understand the story…..my grandmother told me time heals all wounds….and now, my wound is healed and I am looking forward to working harder to be the best entertainer I could possibly be…….
I want to talk about Cheerio……lol…..now, on Saturday, Derek Daider had a show in San Antonio in which he gave me the privilege to accompany him….a few more people went with us as well…..as we are sitting in the club, this guy comes by and puts a box of Honey Nut Cheerios by our table…..not going to go into all the details of the night, but needless to say, I remember him…….WE ALL remember him……and whether he was a great performer or he sucked, we have taken his name and presence and brought it to Dallas……it was the absolute funniest thing I have seen from an artist….and also memorable…..I say this because to some, I will be taking shots at him….I commend the artist known as Cheerio simply for embracing his gimmick and doing what an artist is supposed to do…..market himself……I love it…that is a name I will never forget…..it definitely made me wanna step my game up…..maybe I should walk around with a box of crunch berries….
Been doing a lot of soul searching lately…..it seems that I may possibly be going through a mid life crisis…..I will try to contain myself and make this not a sob story….definitely don’t want you to think I need sympathy or anything…..I see myself fluctuating emotions constantly…..you know this is probably the worst time of the year for me…I’m not really a holiday person, plus with the deaths of my grandparents, I’m typically in a very somber mood…..and this year, is no different……..but I am trying…..trying very hard to continue to work through the pain……trying to stay as positive through all the adversity…..trying to grow into the destiny…….and I am starting to see that as I am able to be more positive by not keeping an idle mind……and I have change my emotional diet…..the people I hang around….the people that I choose to feed off of……sometimes we take for granted the importance of a smile and happiness…..everyone is not in your life for cultivation…….and as I grow older and obtain the wisdom that God has in store for me, I am learning that…….
It has taken me about 5 hours to write this and I bet it has gone all over the place with my ideas…..I typically don’t read these back as I let my thought be as they are and appreciate them for what they are…..I want to thank everyone that still looks forward to my readings….I would love it if you could go to www.spaceshipohayses.blogspot.com and just give me a few hits…..it may take a lot of energy for you to do this but numbers are what matters most in society…..also, I just found out I will be performing at Kwanzaa Fest this year!!.....this is a very exciting time for me and something that I have looked forward to doing for a while…maybe this is the breakthrough I need….I am planning on fasting soon, so if you don’t hear from me, know that I am okay and moving into something bigger than even myself…….
I love yall…I really do…..I wished I wrote more like I used to, but life of course has its twist and turns that can not be controlled at times…..
Pray for my homie Veronica yall……she had surgery today and even if you may not know her, you may know someone that needs the prayers she needs right now….and the more prayer, the bigger the blessing…….
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
Before I continue, I must embark on something……its hard censoring myself……and being an entertainer, I am learning that there are some things I can and cant say….there are a lot of people that I am now finding out are upset with me over things I may have put in my blog or used as a title……to them, I say with all my heart….YO BAD!!!......I don’t take shots at anyone…sometimes, I may over think things or used things to create something else, but damn!!....stop being so sensitive….and its funny because I rarely use names…….but it still ends up hitting nerves of people……at the end of the day, these same people have tried to defame my name or make me look like the bad guy to people that don’t understand the story…..my grandmother told me time heals all wounds….and now, my wound is healed and I am looking forward to working harder to be the best entertainer I could possibly be…….
I want to talk about Cheerio……lol…..now, on Saturday, Derek Daider had a show in San Antonio in which he gave me the privilege to accompany him….a few more people went with us as well…..as we are sitting in the club, this guy comes by and puts a box of Honey Nut Cheerios by our table…..not going to go into all the details of the night, but needless to say, I remember him…….WE ALL remember him……and whether he was a great performer or he sucked, we have taken his name and presence and brought it to Dallas……it was the absolute funniest thing I have seen from an artist….and also memorable…..I say this because to some, I will be taking shots at him….I commend the artist known as Cheerio simply for embracing his gimmick and doing what an artist is supposed to do…..market himself……I love it…that is a name I will never forget…..it definitely made me wanna step my game up…..maybe I should walk around with a box of crunch berries….
Been doing a lot of soul searching lately…..it seems that I may possibly be going through a mid life crisis…..I will try to contain myself and make this not a sob story….definitely don’t want you to think I need sympathy or anything…..I see myself fluctuating emotions constantly…..you know this is probably the worst time of the year for me…I’m not really a holiday person, plus with the deaths of my grandparents, I’m typically in a very somber mood…..and this year, is no different……..but I am trying…..trying very hard to continue to work through the pain……trying to stay as positive through all the adversity…..trying to grow into the destiny…….and I am starting to see that as I am able to be more positive by not keeping an idle mind……and I have change my emotional diet…..the people I hang around….the people that I choose to feed off of……sometimes we take for granted the importance of a smile and happiness…..everyone is not in your life for cultivation…….and as I grow older and obtain the wisdom that God has in store for me, I am learning that…….
It has taken me about 5 hours to write this and I bet it has gone all over the place with my ideas…..I typically don’t read these back as I let my thought be as they are and appreciate them for what they are…..I want to thank everyone that still looks forward to my readings….I would love it if you could go to www.spaceshipohayses.blogspot.com and just give me a few hits…..it may take a lot of energy for you to do this but numbers are what matters most in society…..also, I just found out I will be performing at Kwanzaa Fest this year!!.....this is a very exciting time for me and something that I have looked forward to doing for a while…maybe this is the breakthrough I need….I am planning on fasting soon, so if you don’t hear from me, know that I am okay and moving into something bigger than even myself…….
I love yall…I really do…..I wished I wrote more like I used to, but life of course has its twist and turns that can not be controlled at times…..
Pray for my homie Veronica yall……she had surgery today and even if you may not know her, you may know someone that needs the prayers she needs right now….and the more prayer, the bigger the blessing…….
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
MARY POPPINS AINT GOT NUTHING ON ME!!
Good afternoon friends!!...yes I did decide to write today….was actually meaning to write you guys yesterday, but I had a blow out yesterday afternoon and it threw my whole day off……I hope I come to you all in great spirits……its getting close to the holidays, so its about time for the seasons of family and celebration…..a lot of things been going my way lately, and with this past weekend officially over, its time I continue to make positive changes and walk into my destiny……..
As many of you know, Friday marked the three year anniversary of my grandfather’s passing……Saturday, would have been my grandmother’s 74th birthday…….yeah, I know right?......last year on her birthday, she suffered a heart attack and eventually never left the hospital…..needless to say, this was a tough weekend for me……I was a little hurt as well…..I want to thank each and everyone of you that reached out to make sure I was okay…..it really felt good to know you cared…..
But there was some that either didn’t know, didn’t remember, or didn’t call…..and a few of them….whether friends, allies, co workers, or even family members…I really wanted in my loop……and the pain that struck either thinking about it, or conversing with them was weird…should I be upset?.......am I just being selfish?........why do I expect them to care?.......I could not and can not answer these questions…..its an awkward situation to be in…I wanted to be alone, yet I wanted to see who cared?......I was talking to someone the other day and the topic was about caring what people think about us……isn’t that just human nature?...we can say we don’t care, but what if no one recognized our existence?.....acknowledge us for being good in their eyes?......cared if we lived or died?.....I personally think it would have an effect on our psyche…….so I was torn…..and that just multiplied to the emotions I was already having…….
AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT……..Saturday also marked the one year anniversary of the release of No Preservatives…..yes, my album release party was on my grandmother’s birthday last year…it was supposed to be my tribute to them…..and it was…but at the end of the night, I received the news about my granny……I tried very hard to think about one of the greatest nights of my life….it was awesome to all of you that came out to show support……the next album is coming…...I promise….
And this was just this past weekend!!.........and don’t forget the blow out yesterday!!....it would be so easy for me to get down on things…..the greatest of God is that he is providing me with a peace I don’t think I have had before…..something new for me, but its working…..
I was talking to someone today and they pretty much broke down crying about all that they are going through…..now, even with everything I am going through….and it is so much easier to tell folks things than it is to believe it yourself……I still had to lend an ear…to give them words of encouragement and to be of some type of comfort….in the back of mind, I realize that I am not the only one going through things….and even with the things I am going through, somebody may be doing worse………and then they hit me with the “when it rains it pours” phrase……I returned the phrase, adding “that’s why you need an umbrella”…..and that my friends, is the key…….
A lot of times we try to walk through this storm of ours without protective wear….our clothes get wet, and we refuse to change them, thinking that if we let them dry on their own, we will be the same……forgetting about the stench, and weight damp water can leave on garments……are you lost?...okay, let me say it like this…….sometimes, when we are going through, we decide to try to do it ourselves instead of putting on the armor of God…….even if we do fall short, instead of rethinking and altering our plan, we continue to let it weigh us down, wondering why its still happening to us……wondering why our circumstance has not changed……….
Now, don’t think I am sitting here like I know everything….I stress, I get frustrated, I cry, I wonder why me, and all of these things……but I am in the process of putting myself through mental boot camp….I used to be nonchalant about life’s difficulties…..then when they continued to pile on and they overwhelmed me, I didn’t know where to turn to…and honestly my friends, I contemplated suicide…..many times……..
But I am getting with the program now……and thinking negatively is an addiction…..so one day at a time, I have to change my thinking….some days, I have to force myself to think about good things……I have to make myself get out that bed and do something that’s going to make me laugh and smile…..it was easy for me to get messages or phone calls Saturday and when someone asked me how I was doing, I instantly sad something negative….or to just be in my mood……..and at that moment, I may have had to coach myself out of that state…….and with the great friends I have, you guys helped me tremendously……..it was difficult to stay sad talking to half of you idiots!!!..........
So yeah, when it rains, it does pour…don’t mean you have to get wet……get you an umbrella!!.........
I’m learning to continue thinking and saying positive things……if we can think negatively and stuff continues to happen, why can’t it happen the other way around??.....I’m just saying…….
Well, I’m gone…just had to get that off my chest….got a show tonight at Club Mystique in Ft Worth and Thursday at the Skillman Street Pub……I hope I can see a few of you there to support me…….the mojo is coming back…….
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
As many of you know, Friday marked the three year anniversary of my grandfather’s passing……Saturday, would have been my grandmother’s 74th birthday…….yeah, I know right?......last year on her birthday, she suffered a heart attack and eventually never left the hospital…..needless to say, this was a tough weekend for me……I was a little hurt as well…..I want to thank each and everyone of you that reached out to make sure I was okay…..it really felt good to know you cared…..
But there was some that either didn’t know, didn’t remember, or didn’t call…..and a few of them….whether friends, allies, co workers, or even family members…I really wanted in my loop……and the pain that struck either thinking about it, or conversing with them was weird…should I be upset?.......am I just being selfish?........why do I expect them to care?.......I could not and can not answer these questions…..its an awkward situation to be in…I wanted to be alone, yet I wanted to see who cared?......I was talking to someone the other day and the topic was about caring what people think about us……isn’t that just human nature?...we can say we don’t care, but what if no one recognized our existence?.....acknowledge us for being good in their eyes?......cared if we lived or died?.....I personally think it would have an effect on our psyche…….so I was torn…..and that just multiplied to the emotions I was already having…….
AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT……..Saturday also marked the one year anniversary of the release of No Preservatives…..yes, my album release party was on my grandmother’s birthday last year…it was supposed to be my tribute to them…..and it was…but at the end of the night, I received the news about my granny……I tried very hard to think about one of the greatest nights of my life….it was awesome to all of you that came out to show support……the next album is coming…...I promise….
And this was just this past weekend!!.........and don’t forget the blow out yesterday!!....it would be so easy for me to get down on things…..the greatest of God is that he is providing me with a peace I don’t think I have had before…..something new for me, but its working…..
I was talking to someone today and they pretty much broke down crying about all that they are going through…..now, even with everything I am going through….and it is so much easier to tell folks things than it is to believe it yourself……I still had to lend an ear…to give them words of encouragement and to be of some type of comfort….in the back of mind, I realize that I am not the only one going through things….and even with the things I am going through, somebody may be doing worse………and then they hit me with the “when it rains it pours” phrase……I returned the phrase, adding “that’s why you need an umbrella”…..and that my friends, is the key…….
A lot of times we try to walk through this storm of ours without protective wear….our clothes get wet, and we refuse to change them, thinking that if we let them dry on their own, we will be the same……forgetting about the stench, and weight damp water can leave on garments……are you lost?...okay, let me say it like this…….sometimes, when we are going through, we decide to try to do it ourselves instead of putting on the armor of God…….even if we do fall short, instead of rethinking and altering our plan, we continue to let it weigh us down, wondering why its still happening to us……wondering why our circumstance has not changed……….
Now, don’t think I am sitting here like I know everything….I stress, I get frustrated, I cry, I wonder why me, and all of these things……but I am in the process of putting myself through mental boot camp….I used to be nonchalant about life’s difficulties…..then when they continued to pile on and they overwhelmed me, I didn’t know where to turn to…and honestly my friends, I contemplated suicide…..many times……..
But I am getting with the program now……and thinking negatively is an addiction…..so one day at a time, I have to change my thinking….some days, I have to force myself to think about good things……I have to make myself get out that bed and do something that’s going to make me laugh and smile…..it was easy for me to get messages or phone calls Saturday and when someone asked me how I was doing, I instantly sad something negative….or to just be in my mood……..and at that moment, I may have had to coach myself out of that state…….and with the great friends I have, you guys helped me tremendously……..it was difficult to stay sad talking to half of you idiots!!!..........
So yeah, when it rains, it does pour…don’t mean you have to get wet……get you an umbrella!!.........
I’m learning to continue thinking and saying positive things……if we can think negatively and stuff continues to happen, why can’t it happen the other way around??.....I’m just saying…….
Well, I’m gone…just had to get that off my chest….got a show tonight at Club Mystique in Ft Worth and Thursday at the Skillman Street Pub……I hope I can see a few of you there to support me…….the mojo is coming back…….
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
Friday, October 8, 2010
ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!
Good afternoon great people!!.....yeah, I am here…..at work too…….hope you all are doing well….weather is changing, time to find that cuddle partner and it’s Friday!!.......I’m feeling pretty good myself…..just realized how bored I am at work today so I decided to check up on yall……..
Life is getting better for me…..you know, had some crazy things happen, but through the greatness of God, I am finding strength…..and its not getting to me like before…..its amazing how you learn about people after your relationship is over…..and I’m not just talking about girlfriend, boyfriend relationship…..over this hiatus I have taken from doing any entertainment, I have learned how much folks really don’t care about you……its all about them…..people that I have helped find shows, hosted for, performed for, worked with, and endured in business decisions with disappear when they find out you don’t have a purpose for them…..I guess that’s a lesson I should have already known…..I find it funny and sad how some people can act like they need you, but if you don’t do what they want you to, its so easy for them to dispose of you…..even in the sporadic thoughts that my blog has given over the past 2-3 months, I am still finding people taking my words out of context and being messy about them…..on one hand, at least they still have my name in their mouth…..but on the other, I’m human and its hard to fathom someone lying on you for the sole purpose of curing their own embarrassment…...and yes, if you feel like I am talking to you this time….I AM!!....
At the same time, I have found myself healing some scarred relationships that I may have damaged myself…..and with God guiding my words, I have been able to sever some hard feelings.....no, not in the sense that we are bff’s again…..but at least forgiving on both parts have taken place……and it’s a good feeling….once again, I am human and I do not like to be the source of someone’s ill will or frustration…..don’t even like being around if I know I put a damper on one’s spirit……its just me.....right, wrong, or indifferent, I want to make the world a better place…not be someone that folks don’t like to be around…..except at work, where I really don’t care!!!.........
Its almost been 2 years since my grandfather passed……October 22nd……1 year since my album release party….October 23rd……and one year from my grandmother’s birthday and her untimely heart attack…October 23rd as well….thinking about taking off work for a few days…..don’t think I would like to deal with it here at work….I am already cranky and not knowing if I will explode leads to believe that I don’t need to be at work on those days……its funny because as much as I think I about their passing’s, I still don’t know if I have dealt with it….but then again, how do I?......what is the appropriate way to deal with the passing of your parents…and yes, I do recognize them as my mother and father because of all they have done for me…..and the things they taught me along the way….I may not have paid attention to them then….but I have never forgot anything they said to me…..
Now, my mom may read this and if she does, I will probably get a phone call asking why I put something like that in my blog……I will tell u why…..its the truth….not going to go into too many details but I hope she doesn’t call or read this….my mind is not in a place to be tactful……
I had a show last night at the Skillman Street Pub and I must admit…it was one of my favorite shows I have performed at down here…..you might think “what’s the big deal?”…but for me it was a big deal….I left there and went to the Curtain Club to go chop it up with Fiend……he used to performed with No Limit back in the Day if you remember…no I didn’t go to see him perform……or to be a groupie… HE CALLED ME….and that in itself was a great feeling……but I was thinking….I don’t take a lot of pictures with celebrities…I mean, I am around them a lot….talk to them pretty frequently....and are even on first name basis……I wonder if I should photo drop some artist to prove I am in the loop…..like last night…I sat in VIP with him watching folk shaking hands and hugging him and just standing around him and I’m like ugh!!.......wasn’t that serious to me….but maybe…just maybe….I should think outside MY box….I mean, I fucks with Supa K and Keynote from the radio station and when I bring them up in conversation, I have seen chicks panties get wet!!...I’m like “they are so regular people!!”…..when has been a groupie ever been a good thing??
Been a very proud father lately….Jayla is in Pre-K and to see the growth…to hear the growth and to acknowledge that growth is a beautiful thing…..she is truly becoming a woman as much as she talks but I love every minute of it…..I remember her being born and now she is going to school……Stephanie has been getting on my butt about spending more time with her, not because I don’t….its now 3 women in their household….and no matter what you say or think, 3 women in a house is never good……too many attitudes….and I think she gets the needed discipline at my house…..I told someone the other day, I think that’s the only thing I like about being in my financial rut…….spending time with Jayla…I cant afford to buy her happiness…..we do things like watch movies, make puppets, go to the park, read, or we just sit there and I listen to her…..and the great thing is, she is appreciative……at that moment, I am all that matters to her….and in this world of childish grown folks, haters, groupies, whiners, complainers, pessimist, and naysayers, she gives me the motivation to continue to push on………
Well I am going to blow out of here…….pray for my sister Charita…she was in a car accident….don’t know the details yet, but prayers are always encouraged……
I really do miss you all……to the ones that I do talk to on a regular or even semi-regular, I thank you so much…..I am learning that we don’t realized the power we have in uplifting folks…..and to each and everyone of you, I thank you for continuing to uplift me……sometimes I do feel like I am letting people down……and sometimes you tell me to continue to have patience…so I endure……and none of you will be forgotten…..
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!!
Life is getting better for me…..you know, had some crazy things happen, but through the greatness of God, I am finding strength…..and its not getting to me like before…..its amazing how you learn about people after your relationship is over…..and I’m not just talking about girlfriend, boyfriend relationship…..over this hiatus I have taken from doing any entertainment, I have learned how much folks really don’t care about you……its all about them…..people that I have helped find shows, hosted for, performed for, worked with, and endured in business decisions with disappear when they find out you don’t have a purpose for them…..I guess that’s a lesson I should have already known…..I find it funny and sad how some people can act like they need you, but if you don’t do what they want you to, its so easy for them to dispose of you…..even in the sporadic thoughts that my blog has given over the past 2-3 months, I am still finding people taking my words out of context and being messy about them…..on one hand, at least they still have my name in their mouth…..but on the other, I’m human and its hard to fathom someone lying on you for the sole purpose of curing their own embarrassment…...and yes, if you feel like I am talking to you this time….I AM!!....
At the same time, I have found myself healing some scarred relationships that I may have damaged myself…..and with God guiding my words, I have been able to sever some hard feelings.....no, not in the sense that we are bff’s again…..but at least forgiving on both parts have taken place……and it’s a good feeling….once again, I am human and I do not like to be the source of someone’s ill will or frustration…..don’t even like being around if I know I put a damper on one’s spirit……its just me.....right, wrong, or indifferent, I want to make the world a better place…not be someone that folks don’t like to be around…..except at work, where I really don’t care!!!.........
Its almost been 2 years since my grandfather passed……October 22nd……1 year since my album release party….October 23rd……and one year from my grandmother’s birthday and her untimely heart attack…October 23rd as well….thinking about taking off work for a few days…..don’t think I would like to deal with it here at work….I am already cranky and not knowing if I will explode leads to believe that I don’t need to be at work on those days……its funny because as much as I think I about their passing’s, I still don’t know if I have dealt with it….but then again, how do I?......what is the appropriate way to deal with the passing of your parents…and yes, I do recognize them as my mother and father because of all they have done for me…..and the things they taught me along the way….I may not have paid attention to them then….but I have never forgot anything they said to me…..
Now, my mom may read this and if she does, I will probably get a phone call asking why I put something like that in my blog……I will tell u why…..its the truth….not going to go into too many details but I hope she doesn’t call or read this….my mind is not in a place to be tactful……
I had a show last night at the Skillman Street Pub and I must admit…it was one of my favorite shows I have performed at down here…..you might think “what’s the big deal?”…but for me it was a big deal….I left there and went to the Curtain Club to go chop it up with Fiend……he used to performed with No Limit back in the Day if you remember…no I didn’t go to see him perform……or to be a groupie… HE CALLED ME….and that in itself was a great feeling……but I was thinking….I don’t take a lot of pictures with celebrities…I mean, I am around them a lot….talk to them pretty frequently....and are even on first name basis……I wonder if I should photo drop some artist to prove I am in the loop…..like last night…I sat in VIP with him watching folk shaking hands and hugging him and just standing around him and I’m like ugh!!.......wasn’t that serious to me….but maybe…just maybe….I should think outside MY box….I mean, I fucks with Supa K and Keynote from the radio station and when I bring them up in conversation, I have seen chicks panties get wet!!...I’m like “they are so regular people!!”…..when has been a groupie ever been a good thing??
Been a very proud father lately….Jayla is in Pre-K and to see the growth…to hear the growth and to acknowledge that growth is a beautiful thing…..she is truly becoming a woman as much as she talks but I love every minute of it…..I remember her being born and now she is going to school……Stephanie has been getting on my butt about spending more time with her, not because I don’t….its now 3 women in their household….and no matter what you say or think, 3 women in a house is never good……too many attitudes….and I think she gets the needed discipline at my house…..I told someone the other day, I think that’s the only thing I like about being in my financial rut…….spending time with Jayla…I cant afford to buy her happiness…..we do things like watch movies, make puppets, go to the park, read, or we just sit there and I listen to her…..and the great thing is, she is appreciative……at that moment, I am all that matters to her….and in this world of childish grown folks, haters, groupies, whiners, complainers, pessimist, and naysayers, she gives me the motivation to continue to push on………
Well I am going to blow out of here…….pray for my sister Charita…she was in a car accident….don’t know the details yet, but prayers are always encouraged……
I really do miss you all……to the ones that I do talk to on a regular or even semi-regular, I thank you so much…..I am learning that we don’t realized the power we have in uplifting folks…..and to each and everyone of you, I thank you for continuing to uplift me……sometimes I do feel like I am letting people down……and sometimes you tell me to continue to have patience…so I endure……and none of you will be forgotten…..
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!!
Monday, September 27, 2010
I AM A REAL AMERICAN!!
Wow….I’m here…..don’t know where I came from…just decided to be here today…….few things to talk about….feel like just blabbing…..how are you all doing today?......I hope life has been treating you all well….me…I don’t even know..and I say that honestly……..some days are good….some days are woeful….and every day I learn something new…..I know I am very close to getting over this hump….just don’t know when…….when I am traveling, I look forward to the next big city be it 100 or 400 miles away……on this journey, I have see no landmarks until I reach it…….there are no major cities…..just a straight shot….in the dark…….and barely a headlight…….
My comprehension is not strong as in where this journey will take me…….I do pray every day that I become a better man out of it……sucks going to school and realizing you didn’t learn anything……I’m trying to be more honest with myself…..without hurting others in the process……..I say it’s tough…….it’s hard to be totally open while having so many flaws……so I truly thank each and every one of you that are still sticking by me…..for those I have lost, I do apologize and I hope reconciliation can take place…..as our journeys have crossed for a reason, we are sure to find a mutual ground as we cross with our separate burdens…….
I don’t plead for your sympathy….nor do I ask that you feel sorry for me…..as I know everything happens for a reason…..without causing any offense, I know that everyone can’t take the load I have been given….and as hard as the struggle may seem to me, good will eventually come out of it and I will be able to rest….but without work, there is no rest…..there is no time to sit idle while I see the destruction of an industry we all had a passion for…..and in that, I have failed…..
There is a vicious cycle that occurs when one gains some sort of achievement….it is called complacency…..it happens to the best of us….or…the worst of us…….I tried my hardest to stay in the streets, but due to the lack of my pulse, the Open Mic Night, I started dying…..I allowed my personal situation to conflict with my business situations…….mixing business with personal…….and I didn’t compensate for my love of this entertainment industry……so without that, I allow myself to stay in my conundrum……it’s coming up on a year since the album was released….how many completed songs have I made since then?...none…….in fact, my show opportunities have digressed, performing and hosting……why is that??............
I could blame it on the loss of Ja-Roq, going to jail twice, the loss of my grandmother, finances, relationships, or any other problem…but when it boils down to it; it’s me……now, I refuse to shoot you all a pity party, but seriously??..........I have to change my thinking……….and it’s the hardest thing I have ever had to do………
I miss socializing with you guys…..miss getting drunk, kicking it, talking about tea bagging and taking million of pictures……we were the glue to the streets….we kept Dallas hip hop going…….so I will make my pledge to do good bye you all….the ones that believes in me…….the ones that believed in me……..and the ones that will believe in me………….
Soooooooo..In other news…..what’s up with Bishop Long?........what is he doing messing with lil boys?......and wasn’t he or isn’t he one of the most anti-homosexual advocates in America??.......I’m just saying….what was he thinking??.......if for nothing else, YOU DON’T SEND EVIDENCE LIKE THAT!!...... you don’t like gay people but you sending homo erotic picture mail??......just for being a hypocrite, if the allegations are true, you should be vilified…….tsk, tsk……
Man, I almost punched my boss in the face today!!!.......it’s like he wants me to say something to get fired……but I’m not……I know what kind of person he is and on some many accords, he is right…….it’s just like he’s picking……I have to figure out a way to ignore him but not be rude about it…..I think that’s a big thing for me…saying things and not being rude about it……I don’t need to mean all the dog gone time…..
Happy birthday Mama C!!!!......if yall don’t know anything about me know that I love Mama C…she has been a God send in my life and definitely with the passing of my grandmother……she has been someone I can talk to and someone I can depend on to give me more wisdom….you don’t meet people like this every day and I know some people think our relationship is crazy……and you know what…it is…that's why it is so great!....happy birthday Mama C…Spaceship Ohayses loves you!!!.........
Before I go, I have to tell you about this cat at work……so I see him one day on break and he tells me he needs a place to stay…something happened and me being the person I am and knowing where I came from, I told him he could crash on my couch…..dude instantly started talking about being roommates…..ugh!!.......he texted me more than D’Lyte with promo information……it was a crazy situation….even after I informed him that I couldn’t do it..because in a conversation he got upset about me telling him he would have to leave when I left……..he still acted like he was moving in…..so one day I saw him and I started running the opposite way…….about five minutes later, I receive a text……it stated, “I was going to tell you that I found somewhere to stay, but you were running like you stole something.”……nah fool, I was running from you!!........
I’m gone..time to eat some spaghetti…….remember, I love each and every one of yall…rather you hate me or don’t even know me……
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
My comprehension is not strong as in where this journey will take me…….I do pray every day that I become a better man out of it……sucks going to school and realizing you didn’t learn anything……I’m trying to be more honest with myself…..without hurting others in the process……..I say it’s tough…….it’s hard to be totally open while having so many flaws……so I truly thank each and every one of you that are still sticking by me…..for those I have lost, I do apologize and I hope reconciliation can take place…..as our journeys have crossed for a reason, we are sure to find a mutual ground as we cross with our separate burdens…….
I don’t plead for your sympathy….nor do I ask that you feel sorry for me…..as I know everything happens for a reason…..without causing any offense, I know that everyone can’t take the load I have been given….and as hard as the struggle may seem to me, good will eventually come out of it and I will be able to rest….but without work, there is no rest…..there is no time to sit idle while I see the destruction of an industry we all had a passion for…..and in that, I have failed…..
There is a vicious cycle that occurs when one gains some sort of achievement….it is called complacency…..it happens to the best of us….or…the worst of us…….I tried my hardest to stay in the streets, but due to the lack of my pulse, the Open Mic Night, I started dying…..I allowed my personal situation to conflict with my business situations…….mixing business with personal…….and I didn’t compensate for my love of this entertainment industry……so without that, I allow myself to stay in my conundrum……it’s coming up on a year since the album was released….how many completed songs have I made since then?...none…….in fact, my show opportunities have digressed, performing and hosting……why is that??............
I could blame it on the loss of Ja-Roq, going to jail twice, the loss of my grandmother, finances, relationships, or any other problem…but when it boils down to it; it’s me……now, I refuse to shoot you all a pity party, but seriously??..........I have to change my thinking……….and it’s the hardest thing I have ever had to do………
I miss socializing with you guys…..miss getting drunk, kicking it, talking about tea bagging and taking million of pictures……we were the glue to the streets….we kept Dallas hip hop going…….so I will make my pledge to do good bye you all….the ones that believes in me…….the ones that believed in me……..and the ones that will believe in me………….
Soooooooo..In other news…..what’s up with Bishop Long?........what is he doing messing with lil boys?......and wasn’t he or isn’t he one of the most anti-homosexual advocates in America??.......I’m just saying….what was he thinking??.......if for nothing else, YOU DON’T SEND EVIDENCE LIKE THAT!!...... you don’t like gay people but you sending homo erotic picture mail??......just for being a hypocrite, if the allegations are true, you should be vilified…….tsk, tsk……
Man, I almost punched my boss in the face today!!!.......it’s like he wants me to say something to get fired……but I’m not……I know what kind of person he is and on some many accords, he is right…….it’s just like he’s picking……I have to figure out a way to ignore him but not be rude about it…..I think that’s a big thing for me…saying things and not being rude about it……I don’t need to mean all the dog gone time…..
Happy birthday Mama C!!!!......if yall don’t know anything about me know that I love Mama C…she has been a God send in my life and definitely with the passing of my grandmother……she has been someone I can talk to and someone I can depend on to give me more wisdom….you don’t meet people like this every day and I know some people think our relationship is crazy……and you know what…it is…that's why it is so great!....happy birthday Mama C…Spaceship Ohayses loves you!!!.........
Before I go, I have to tell you about this cat at work……so I see him one day on break and he tells me he needs a place to stay…something happened and me being the person I am and knowing where I came from, I told him he could crash on my couch…..dude instantly started talking about being roommates…..ugh!!.......he texted me more than D’Lyte with promo information……it was a crazy situation….even after I informed him that I couldn’t do it..because in a conversation he got upset about me telling him he would have to leave when I left……..he still acted like he was moving in…..so one day I saw him and I started running the opposite way…….about five minutes later, I receive a text……it stated, “I was going to tell you that I found somewhere to stay, but you were running like you stole something.”……nah fool, I was running from you!!........
I’m gone..time to eat some spaghetti…….remember, I love each and every one of yall…rather you hate me or don’t even know me……
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
CLASH OF THE TITANS
So it’s 12:27 in the morning……and I am supposed to be sleep…..kinda surprising I’m even at home but I really needed to catch some rest…..and here I am up…..but I think it’s for a reason…..so I’m sitting in my room, watching some comedy and relaxing my mind into greener pastures…..and I figure I should check up on you guys…..I really don’t know why I don’t blog as much……I’m on the computer as much at work…but I guess it’s that I just don’t want to be on one thing like I need to be…to keep my focus….I find that some of my writings are very spotty when I have to constantly stop and start back…..s/n…I think I am learning to type without looking at the keys all the time…and I can use both hands…….that’s major for me..I have always been a pecker!!.......so how have yall been?........I’m actually excited that you all will be waking up and reading this………maybe it can help start your day in the right manor…….
Well let me get yall up to date with me…….because tonight’s edition really isn’t about me….per se……it’s more about life..the same pattern that I have been writing from as of late…..crazy seeing the evolution of this thing……well, I just got out of jail…AGAIN…for the same crap I went for in March……so needless to say, the saga is continuing……not hosting any open mics as of right now……how do I feel about that?......not really sure….some days it’s cool…I actually like that I can go around and chop it up with folks…..if they allow, I perform…….I even get on the mic when the opportunity presents itself…..but I like not have the crybaby drama the open mics were becoming……..and I felt the bigger it got, the more I was cheating those that really made what we did great…….
Got some things brewing though…so be on the look out……don’t really wanna get into everything but I will…..now since I have written tonight, it may become easier for me to do this regularly…..I am thinking about opening up my kitchen on the weekend……what do you think?.....meatloaf or pork chop plate, 2 sides, rolls and pop for the $8?..........sounds good to me!!........may need some delivery people…….
Anyway, thanks to a good friend of mine…..who I just realized puts me on a lot of eye opening things…..I watched some documentaries on the rap version of the illuminati……very interesting stuff…….I am not sure the validity of all that I read but I do think there is something very probably about this hypothesis……Jay-Z has been very questionable to me for a minute and some strings were tied together….amazingly enough, most of the videos do depict Shawn Carter as the leader of this illuminati……
Now the point I’m hoping to make is about our kids……its weird thinking how our music has changed….I want to state that even as an artist, I do not want you to think I am hateful toward the brand of music there is in society…….I like some of it….key word: SOME…….I remember back in the day how music just made you feel good……and even when it didn’t, it didn’t necessarily want you to hit a person for stepping on your shoes…..it didn’t tell you what to wear…how to think……the rhythms and grooves of music from the older eras, gave you a feeling of happiness…..it gave you a sense of power over your life……
Now music is geared towards the artist wanting power of your life…rap music was not developed for warfare, in whatever facet..it was a voice of the people that lived the streets and maybe could sing well……it was an expression of the slums, the ghettos, the recognizable tone of the struggle…….if you wanted to battle, meet me on a box and beat me at breaking……..it was about getting somewhere….now, it’s all about being there……if you don’t have it, you are a nobody……..it’s not about the grind to achieve…its what we do when we achieve……..seriously….how many bitches did we hear in rap music……..besides west coast music…….how many drug lords were we?.........how many countries did we have estates in?.........now there wouldn’t be such a problem…..IF ARTIST LIKE MYSELF ARE NOT SUCH BIG ROLE MODELS!!........and yes, I know some of my music is not for all kids……I’m saying…we have to have a balance as adults..sorry, it may not sound fair but it’s the truth……you can make a radio edit but the hook still says “live fast and die young?”…..wtf??........our future is in a no win situation………
With society so microwavable, our youth are not learning how to accomplish these dreams…all they are learning is what to have to be considered “something” in this world……so they have to get it…by hook or by crook…and by hook, I’m meaning music…….it’s not the art of hip hop anymore…..it’s the vicious cycle of “well, if they gonna give me a deal, I’ma take it”……..and who do we blame?.....the artist wants the money…the record label wants the power……and the record company wants the respect………we are so confused as to who to lay blame that eventually, we resign out feelings………
So we go on…..listening to the same music…letting out 3 year olds drop it low…….meaning the lyrics when “ I Hate You Bitch” or “I’m Wasted” comes on in the club…waiting on the bootleg man to come to the hair and nail shops on the weekend to get that new Lil Wayne…….I can dig it..I love it to……..
But what are we taking time to teach the ones that only know this way of life?....they don’t have role models except the ones on 106 and Park…we too busy watching reality shows with our kids missing a chance to explain what’s really going on to laugh at the white girl..……and why are we steady assuming they should know better…….
Or am I the one tripping??
Okay…..okay..I’m sleepy….just wanted to rant……ima let yall go..have a great Friday!!!
Love yall!!!!!
Church!!!
Well let me get yall up to date with me…….because tonight’s edition really isn’t about me….per se……it’s more about life..the same pattern that I have been writing from as of late…..crazy seeing the evolution of this thing……well, I just got out of jail…AGAIN…for the same crap I went for in March……so needless to say, the saga is continuing……not hosting any open mics as of right now……how do I feel about that?......not really sure….some days it’s cool…I actually like that I can go around and chop it up with folks…..if they allow, I perform…….I even get on the mic when the opportunity presents itself…..but I like not have the crybaby drama the open mics were becoming……..and I felt the bigger it got, the more I was cheating those that really made what we did great…….
Got some things brewing though…so be on the look out……don’t really wanna get into everything but I will…..now since I have written tonight, it may become easier for me to do this regularly…..I am thinking about opening up my kitchen on the weekend……what do you think?.....meatloaf or pork chop plate, 2 sides, rolls and pop for the $8?..........sounds good to me!!........may need some delivery people…….
Anyway, thanks to a good friend of mine…..who I just realized puts me on a lot of eye opening things…..I watched some documentaries on the rap version of the illuminati……very interesting stuff…….I am not sure the validity of all that I read but I do think there is something very probably about this hypothesis……Jay-Z has been very questionable to me for a minute and some strings were tied together….amazingly enough, most of the videos do depict Shawn Carter as the leader of this illuminati……
Now the point I’m hoping to make is about our kids……its weird thinking how our music has changed….I want to state that even as an artist, I do not want you to think I am hateful toward the brand of music there is in society…….I like some of it….key word: SOME…….I remember back in the day how music just made you feel good……and even when it didn’t, it didn’t necessarily want you to hit a person for stepping on your shoes…..it didn’t tell you what to wear…how to think……the rhythms and grooves of music from the older eras, gave you a feeling of happiness…..it gave you a sense of power over your life……
Now music is geared towards the artist wanting power of your life…rap music was not developed for warfare, in whatever facet..it was a voice of the people that lived the streets and maybe could sing well……it was an expression of the slums, the ghettos, the recognizable tone of the struggle…….if you wanted to battle, meet me on a box and beat me at breaking……..it was about getting somewhere….now, it’s all about being there……if you don’t have it, you are a nobody……..it’s not about the grind to achieve…its what we do when we achieve……..seriously….how many bitches did we hear in rap music……..besides west coast music…….how many drug lords were we?.........how many countries did we have estates in?.........now there wouldn’t be such a problem…..IF ARTIST LIKE MYSELF ARE NOT SUCH BIG ROLE MODELS!!........and yes, I know some of my music is not for all kids……I’m saying…we have to have a balance as adults..sorry, it may not sound fair but it’s the truth……you can make a radio edit but the hook still says “live fast and die young?”…..wtf??........our future is in a no win situation………
With society so microwavable, our youth are not learning how to accomplish these dreams…all they are learning is what to have to be considered “something” in this world……so they have to get it…by hook or by crook…and by hook, I’m meaning music…….it’s not the art of hip hop anymore…..it’s the vicious cycle of “well, if they gonna give me a deal, I’ma take it”……..and who do we blame?.....the artist wants the money…the record label wants the power……and the record company wants the respect………we are so confused as to who to lay blame that eventually, we resign out feelings………
So we go on…..listening to the same music…letting out 3 year olds drop it low…….meaning the lyrics when “ I Hate You Bitch” or “I’m Wasted” comes on in the club…waiting on the bootleg man to come to the hair and nail shops on the weekend to get that new Lil Wayne…….I can dig it..I love it to……..
But what are we taking time to teach the ones that only know this way of life?....they don’t have role models except the ones on 106 and Park…we too busy watching reality shows with our kids missing a chance to explain what’s really going on to laugh at the white girl..……and why are we steady assuming they should know better…….
Or am I the one tripping??
Okay…..okay..I’m sleepy….just wanted to rant……ima let yall go..have a great Friday!!!
Love yall!!!!!
Church!!!
Monday, August 30, 2010
CALLED A PSYCHIC HOTLIINE AND FORGOT WHAT I WANTED!!!
1. I’m alive and breathing.
2. My daughter is alive and breathing.
3. I have a roof over my head.
4. I have clothes.
5. I know God.
6. I have a job.
7. I have a goal/destiny/plan.
8. I love my family.
9. I have my health and my strength.
10. I have the world’s greatest friends.
11. I’m not in jail.
12. I have food.
13. My daughter looks to me as a role model.
14. My daughter’s mom is great.
15. I have an album online for purchase.
16. I host some of the biggest clubs in the DFW Metroplex.
17. I have graduated from college.
18. I have been a school teacher.
19. God provides for me when I doubt myself.
20. I am able to write this blog.
Its amazing that I can write about 20 things that I thank God for but yet spend many a nights wondering why I feel like my life is spiraling out of control……..good afternoon ladies and gentlemen……I hope I come to you in great strength……..miss writing you all and I actually have been trying to get this post out……been actually….gasp!...working at work…yes, I know its getting cold in hell……..give a brother credit for trying once in a while……..lots has been going on……sometimes little has been going on…….in the meantime, I have still been Spaceship Ohayses, the Incredible……
I truly have been wanting to blog about this for a while now…….last week, I had a great epiphany about my life and even though towards this past weekend I got very week, I think I am putting things into a better perspective…….I had someone very close to me give me the notion that they wanted to kill themselves recently and everything and every reason I gave them for not giving up, I had to swallow as well…….over the past two years, I have been through more storms than I could ever remember and I don’t know why…..been told I’m not the same guy from high school, college, or even after my marriage……and I agreed with them……because I know I am not…..I have shown major flashes or mental defeat…it got so bad that even when things were looking up, I still made a mountain out of a mole hill……..and it wasn’t even on purpose…..I had conditioned myself to believing all was bad……so I had to write it down and make it plain……most of these things that I am thankful for are tangibles…..everyday items……these don’t even include the blessings that occur everyday…..doors opening…..great shows…..Jayla learning an new word or how to write or something like that……and now I truly am in the process of reprogramming my mind…yes, I have become damaged……..
I don’t think the same…..I am very pessimistic about a lot of things…..even though I claim to be a child of Christ…….is it fear?...and if so, of what?.......is it pain?.......there are many different reasons to why I have changed my disposition so drastically……and right now, I have to ask myself if I want to figure out why……or just try to flush them out of my memory and become brand new……its tough feeling like this……I have always been a blunt and somewhat mean person, but I don’t want to end up being the person that pushes everyone away……..I don’t want to be the guy that cant find love because he doesn’t love himself…….I refuse not to live my dream of having a loving family…….but it starts with me……and I recognize that……the reality of it all…..through words and breakthroughs…..is that everybody in your life is not good for you….no matter how much you may love them, hate them, care for them, or admire them…….I was told I have a short fuse…..I realize my tolerance for bullcrap is low……and in that lies a problem…..sometimes in my haste to judge a person, if I hear something that resembles a past hurt, I instantly tune it out…….I walk away……without giving it a chance…….and that can cost me…because no two people are alike……and no two scenarios have the same outcome…….so I must distance myself from the feelings that cause me to close up….I strive to be greater tomorrow……..
Okay….I think I am done venting……have I written yall since Jayla started school??.....its an amazing feeling…..now, I know I am her dad, but once I went to meet the teacher, I really had that parent feel in my soul…….and so far, she loves it….I am hearing her speech increase…..manners getting better…..and I always thought she would be a wiz…JUST LIKE HER DADDY!!......so I am too in the process of going back to school……..
And not for a degree…..well, at least for my certification….some of you may know that I used to teach high school English before I started this new venture….and I used my music as my reason for quitting….well, financially and emotionally, its not working…..so I’m going to go back and do it right…so I can get a good job in my field and work hard at being a great teacher….with the continued experience, I should have more avenues open for my youth center…….and that is a bigger priority of mine……
Make sure you follow me: www.twitter.com/spaceshipo you know I love to hear from the masses…..
Well I guess its check out time…..got a meeting to go to………
Love yall!!!
Church!!!
2. My daughter is alive and breathing.
3. I have a roof over my head.
4. I have clothes.
5. I know God.
6. I have a job.
7. I have a goal/destiny/plan.
8. I love my family.
9. I have my health and my strength.
10. I have the world’s greatest friends.
11. I’m not in jail.
12. I have food.
13. My daughter looks to me as a role model.
14. My daughter’s mom is great.
15. I have an album online for purchase.
16. I host some of the biggest clubs in the DFW Metroplex.
17. I have graduated from college.
18. I have been a school teacher.
19. God provides for me when I doubt myself.
20. I am able to write this blog.
Its amazing that I can write about 20 things that I thank God for but yet spend many a nights wondering why I feel like my life is spiraling out of control……..good afternoon ladies and gentlemen……I hope I come to you in great strength……..miss writing you all and I actually have been trying to get this post out……been actually….gasp!...working at work…yes, I know its getting cold in hell……..give a brother credit for trying once in a while……..lots has been going on……sometimes little has been going on…….in the meantime, I have still been Spaceship Ohayses, the Incredible……
I truly have been wanting to blog about this for a while now…….last week, I had a great epiphany about my life and even though towards this past weekend I got very week, I think I am putting things into a better perspective…….I had someone very close to me give me the notion that they wanted to kill themselves recently and everything and every reason I gave them for not giving up, I had to swallow as well…….over the past two years, I have been through more storms than I could ever remember and I don’t know why…..been told I’m not the same guy from high school, college, or even after my marriage……and I agreed with them……because I know I am not…..I have shown major flashes or mental defeat…it got so bad that even when things were looking up, I still made a mountain out of a mole hill……..and it wasn’t even on purpose…..I had conditioned myself to believing all was bad……so I had to write it down and make it plain……most of these things that I am thankful for are tangibles…..everyday items……these don’t even include the blessings that occur everyday…..doors opening…..great shows…..Jayla learning an new word or how to write or something like that……and now I truly am in the process of reprogramming my mind…yes, I have become damaged……..
I don’t think the same…..I am very pessimistic about a lot of things…..even though I claim to be a child of Christ…….is it fear?...and if so, of what?.......is it pain?.......there are many different reasons to why I have changed my disposition so drastically……and right now, I have to ask myself if I want to figure out why……or just try to flush them out of my memory and become brand new……its tough feeling like this……I have always been a blunt and somewhat mean person, but I don’t want to end up being the person that pushes everyone away……..I don’t want to be the guy that cant find love because he doesn’t love himself…….I refuse not to live my dream of having a loving family…….but it starts with me……and I recognize that……the reality of it all…..through words and breakthroughs…..is that everybody in your life is not good for you….no matter how much you may love them, hate them, care for them, or admire them…….I was told I have a short fuse…..I realize my tolerance for bullcrap is low……and in that lies a problem…..sometimes in my haste to judge a person, if I hear something that resembles a past hurt, I instantly tune it out…….I walk away……without giving it a chance…….and that can cost me…because no two people are alike……and no two scenarios have the same outcome…….so I must distance myself from the feelings that cause me to close up….I strive to be greater tomorrow……..
Okay….I think I am done venting……have I written yall since Jayla started school??.....its an amazing feeling…..now, I know I am her dad, but once I went to meet the teacher, I really had that parent feel in my soul…….and so far, she loves it….I am hearing her speech increase…..manners getting better…..and I always thought she would be a wiz…JUST LIKE HER DADDY!!......so I am too in the process of going back to school……..
And not for a degree…..well, at least for my certification….some of you may know that I used to teach high school English before I started this new venture….and I used my music as my reason for quitting….well, financially and emotionally, its not working…..so I’m going to go back and do it right…so I can get a good job in my field and work hard at being a great teacher….with the continued experience, I should have more avenues open for my youth center…….and that is a bigger priority of mine……
Make sure you follow me: www.twitter.com/spaceshipo you know I love to hear from the masses…..
Well I guess its check out time…..got a meeting to go to………
Love yall!!!
Church!!!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
THE BLIND SQUIRREL FOUND HIMSELF A NUT!!
Good evening ladies and gentlemen……welcome to the Wise Words of Spaceship…I am your host, Spaceship Ohayses the Incredible…….bringing to you the best in blog thoughts and animated opinions…..for some, this will be a welcome…to others, a welcome back……I know I don’t write like I used to…and I miss it somewhat…..but the break was needed……..sometimes I get to wrapped up with being Spaceship and not enough time is put into being me……..and then things go awry……..so I have to make time to love my star player…as Katt Williams put it……..too many times, I have been sop worried about making others happy that I forget about the most important person in my life……and that’s not a knock on anyone……except myself………
Thinking about going back to teaching…..my excuse for leaving was that I needed more time to focus on Essential Entertainment, my music, and the business in general…thought I would be too consumed to try to handle teaching and being a performer…..and I know going back into that realm will probably affect it in some manor……but I’m tired of struggling…..I’m tired of living check to check while promoters give you crumbs because they think it will keep you quiet….I’m tired of not being happy at work…..I’m blessed and thankful to have my job, but this isn’t my calling……pushing a pen, not being able to educate the future and being that driving force behind someone’s success is killing me……I need the drug of helping other’s...in some shape, form or fashion…..I help people here…….just not like I want to…..or I need to……sometimes, I feel like the calling God has placed on my life is in vain….and I blame myself….been taking the easy way out for too long……..
And its due to me becoming lazy…..people are taught things everyday…it’s the retention of things learned that makes you valuable…..and I have been living off my own knowledge for a while….I can remember even in high school…I did my work….I got good grades…but I prohibited myself from learning…….in college it was the same thing…and that was with people in my life that were there to teach me…now that I am older, I have slacked on seeking the knowledge I need to survive accordingly…..maybe its my ego…..subconsciously, maybe I consider myself a know it all……a person that always thinks he is right……and that is going to be a mighty fall if I don’t get it together….one of the great things about teaching and being around others that strive for greatness is the opportunity to learn from them…..and when you hang around people that want better, you should…in most instances…want better as well…..its when we are around people that have no focus or vision…..or even simply ourselves sulking….that we don’t see the bigger picture in life……
I was told I sounded depressed lately…..and I totally agreed with this person….this was from someone that knew me in college….happy go lucky….always with a joke and a smile….always trying to be better was I………now, I find myself wishing for better instead of making better happen…..and I have to take a detour off this road……most days, I saw myself wanting to be happy…..but allowing one minute thing to change my disposition…..and not knowing how to get it back…whether it was at work…….at a show…..dealing with associates…or women…….my fuse has become a lot shorter for tomfoolery……..and as easy as it is to say we don’t do drama…since that is the quote for 2010…some of us……..hand raised right here…….don’t always know how to deal with it at times…….and sometimes, we don’t separate it from adversity….we bunch it all together and would rather ignore it than deal with it so it wont come back……see you can put a blanket over a pile of dirty clothes but you still have dirty clothes…..instead, I need to learn how to wash my hands of it so that it will not be there anymore……
I also recently joined a church……yes…..I joined a church……its been about 5 years since I called a church my home and went regularly…….but I feel comfortable there….and I feel that’s where I need to be……….in all honesty, I was terrified…my last church home really let me down and I was in this state where I didn’t want that to happen again…….I think a lot of my emotional instability stems from this…..I let one situation dictate my life, even though it has nothing to do with my present or future……by distancing myself away from God, due to an issue I had with man, maybe that’s why I wasn’t receiving the blessing I coveted…….I began to idolize the man instead of my Father…..big mistake by me…..but the great thing is, He has forgiven me and now, I can move forward with the things he wants me to do…….now the pastor at this church thinks I’m Kirk Franklin or something…..he always wants me on the mic during the music portion of service…..I informed him…..I am a hip hop star…not a singer…..he doesn’t care about that!!!!...he wants me to use the gifts I was given to praise the Lord…..so it’s a new thing……I told someone today how ironic it would be if my first #1 hit was a gospel song…..sounds far-fetched don’t it……..hmmmmmm……
So as you see, soul searching has been done…..I long to write you guys everyday….but in reality…my life has been about as boring as waiting in a jail cell for a doctors appointment…….surely, I will have more as my life has taken a turn for the best…thinking about writing a new album……going back to get this teaching certification….and finishing this year on a good not…God has been good to me…..I haven’t shown the appreciation I should……..acknowledgement is a start…….you cant go to rehab if you don’t think you have a problem……..got some shows next week so if you would like to come check me out, feel free to hit me up about them…….oh I am on twitter a lot lately….finally figured out how to put the app on my phone…so hit me there as well…. www.twitter.com/spaceshipo ........and unlike other celebrities, I will always respond to you……if my phone doesn’t freeze…damn Smartphone’s!!.........
Love yall!!!
Church!!!!!!
Thinking about going back to teaching…..my excuse for leaving was that I needed more time to focus on Essential Entertainment, my music, and the business in general…thought I would be too consumed to try to handle teaching and being a performer…..and I know going back into that realm will probably affect it in some manor……but I’m tired of struggling…..I’m tired of living check to check while promoters give you crumbs because they think it will keep you quiet….I’m tired of not being happy at work…..I’m blessed and thankful to have my job, but this isn’t my calling……pushing a pen, not being able to educate the future and being that driving force behind someone’s success is killing me……I need the drug of helping other’s...in some shape, form or fashion…..I help people here…….just not like I want to…..or I need to……sometimes, I feel like the calling God has placed on my life is in vain….and I blame myself….been taking the easy way out for too long……..
And its due to me becoming lazy…..people are taught things everyday…it’s the retention of things learned that makes you valuable…..and I have been living off my own knowledge for a while….I can remember even in high school…I did my work….I got good grades…but I prohibited myself from learning…….in college it was the same thing…and that was with people in my life that were there to teach me…now that I am older, I have slacked on seeking the knowledge I need to survive accordingly…..maybe its my ego…..subconsciously, maybe I consider myself a know it all……a person that always thinks he is right……and that is going to be a mighty fall if I don’t get it together….one of the great things about teaching and being around others that strive for greatness is the opportunity to learn from them…..and when you hang around people that want better, you should…in most instances…want better as well…..its when we are around people that have no focus or vision…..or even simply ourselves sulking….that we don’t see the bigger picture in life……
I was told I sounded depressed lately…..and I totally agreed with this person….this was from someone that knew me in college….happy go lucky….always with a joke and a smile….always trying to be better was I………now, I find myself wishing for better instead of making better happen…..and I have to take a detour off this road……most days, I saw myself wanting to be happy…..but allowing one minute thing to change my disposition…..and not knowing how to get it back…whether it was at work…….at a show…..dealing with associates…or women…….my fuse has become a lot shorter for tomfoolery……..and as easy as it is to say we don’t do drama…since that is the quote for 2010…some of us……..hand raised right here…….don’t always know how to deal with it at times…….and sometimes, we don’t separate it from adversity….we bunch it all together and would rather ignore it than deal with it so it wont come back……see you can put a blanket over a pile of dirty clothes but you still have dirty clothes…..instead, I need to learn how to wash my hands of it so that it will not be there anymore……
I also recently joined a church……yes…..I joined a church……its been about 5 years since I called a church my home and went regularly…….but I feel comfortable there….and I feel that’s where I need to be……….in all honesty, I was terrified…my last church home really let me down and I was in this state where I didn’t want that to happen again…….I think a lot of my emotional instability stems from this…..I let one situation dictate my life, even though it has nothing to do with my present or future……by distancing myself away from God, due to an issue I had with man, maybe that’s why I wasn’t receiving the blessing I coveted…….I began to idolize the man instead of my Father…..big mistake by me…..but the great thing is, He has forgiven me and now, I can move forward with the things he wants me to do…….now the pastor at this church thinks I’m Kirk Franklin or something…..he always wants me on the mic during the music portion of service…..I informed him…..I am a hip hop star…not a singer…..he doesn’t care about that!!!!...he wants me to use the gifts I was given to praise the Lord…..so it’s a new thing……I told someone today how ironic it would be if my first #1 hit was a gospel song…..sounds far-fetched don’t it……..hmmmmmm……
So as you see, soul searching has been done…..I long to write you guys everyday….but in reality…my life has been about as boring as waiting in a jail cell for a doctors appointment…….surely, I will have more as my life has taken a turn for the best…thinking about writing a new album……going back to get this teaching certification….and finishing this year on a good not…God has been good to me…..I haven’t shown the appreciation I should……..acknowledgement is a start…….you cant go to rehab if you don’t think you have a problem……..got some shows next week so if you would like to come check me out, feel free to hit me up about them…….oh I am on twitter a lot lately….finally figured out how to put the app on my phone…so hit me there as well…. www.twitter.com/spaceshipo ........and unlike other celebrities, I will always respond to you……if my phone doesn’t freeze…damn Smartphone’s!!.........
Love yall!!!
Church!!!!!!
Monday, August 9, 2010
I'M ACCEPTING MY CANDIDACY!!!
Well what do you know……Spaceship Ohayses is here…have no fear!!!......how is the world treating you all today?......I know you guys are probably missing my blogs…and guess what??...they miss you too!!.......but I haven’t found that groove like I used to…….I promise one day I will get it back……..then again, I kinda like not having that weight of having to put a blog out everyday……don’t know how long this one will be either……didn’t know I was going to write one but seeing how I don’t feel like working the rest of the day, it gives me something to do……gotta stay a little longer than my schedule due to getting to work a few minutes past my scheduled time……like an hour and a half late…but its all good…….im going to make sure I make up the time so we wont have any problems………
What a weekend!!....I don’t know what else to say…I truly believe God has a sense of humor unlike any of us……I remember a song my grandmother used to sing….”he may not come when you want Him, but He’s on time”……sometimes, I think I should have bought a watch from the same store he did…….it seems that he waits until you are right at that breaking point and then pulls you back into his arms…….makes me think back to the first time I tried to learn how to swim…..I was calm, followed directions, and did everything my instructor asked me to do…….and then she let me go……and I continued to sink…and the more I sunk, the more frustrated I got….I started flapping my arms…..gasping for breath…….screaming for desperate attention…there is no way she is just going to sit there and let me drown…..is it?.......I could stop…the more I screamed and flailed, the more I succeeded in drowning….then just when I think I should give up and let myself go, she grabs me…….pulls me out of the water…..wipes me with a towel and laughs…..now who is this funny too again?.........
And that’s our lives in a nutshell…..he tells us we can do it….sits us out in that water and waits……and we began the panicking process on our own…..and the more we panic, the more desperate the situation seems…..and even when he pulls us out, we are too busy being mad about what transpired than to give recognition to the one that saved us……how grateful am I?......ugh!!......reflection sucks sometimes……..
So last night I go up to the Green Elephant for the freestyle battle…..now, I usually go to this charity event just to support my partners, the Red Eye District and rub shoulders with a few Europeans…..man, they love to get drunk!!!......I go up there and perform with one of my homeboys from another group, MoMu…….I don’t ever think I am going to win a freestyle battle…im too wordy……with battles, you need to get to the point and I think too much to put it all down within 30 seconds…….but I kept my word and went out there…..the one thing I don’t like about there shows is that they start late…I have to say that because I was ready to go by the time the battles started…..but I went ahead anyway….now depending on who you ask, I was either one of the best battlers last night or on a very lucky string….even I don’t think I did too great….I mean, I felt that I had better punch lines in other competitions but came up short……well, we won……and as much as I was not going to go…..I was so out of it this whole weekend…I went and put some unexpected dollars in my pocket…..faith without works is dead!!!!.........
Its crazy how perception of life changes when things are going well……that’s a very selfish trait…and yes I am guilty of it…….when I am down, I become secluded…..everything bothers me….and I would prefer not to share my joys or failures with anyone…..just like on these blogs….most of you know my mood swings…and there are times when I just don’t want to write…maybe its because I don’t want to be negative and spoil other people’s days…….I would rather teach, encourage, and make a person feel better about themselves……not wishing it was something they could do to help or make someone feel bad about me……that’s a party I don’t want to attend…..I am learning to open up…and not just on here….I have realized that since my granny passed, I don’t talk to anyone about things that go on in my life……..and it catches up to me…I feel drained a lot….stressed even more…and angry all the time……
Now the hard part is knowing how to pick up the pieces….how to open up and love once again…..how to trust someone with my well being……I used to think it would be okay to die lonely…..and I think that’s how I lived my life……I think it has to do with the fact that I don’t like being a disappointment……that’s one of my issues…..I hate failure…on any scope or facet…..but I am learning failure is a part of life……nobody wins all the time……..
WELL AS WE ALL KNOW, EACH FRIDAY WE HOLD A PRELIMINARY GROOVE AT MURPHYS PLACE……THIS FRIDAY WILL BE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME…..WE ARE RAISING MONEY FOR MY DJ, DJ LADY JA-ROQ……..I NEED EVERYBODY TO COME OUT AND SUPPORT THIS EVENT…….SOMETIMES, WE HAVE TO PULL TOGETHER TO HELP ONE ANOTHER OUT AND THIS IS A CALL OF ACTION……..9410 WALNUT STREET….DOORS OPEN AT 9, FREE FOR EVERYBODY UNTIL 10:38!!!........DJ BLASTT ON THE 1S AND 2S………I WILL SEE YOU THERE!!!
Well I am about to go…..shout outs to everyone that continues to support me…..I am now active on twitter so go ahead and follow me…if you think I am funny on here…you haven’t heard anything yet!!...im calling out everybody!!!...... www.twitter.com/spaceshipo
Love yall!!!!!!
Church!!!
What a weekend!!....I don’t know what else to say…I truly believe God has a sense of humor unlike any of us……I remember a song my grandmother used to sing….”he may not come when you want Him, but He’s on time”……sometimes, I think I should have bought a watch from the same store he did…….it seems that he waits until you are right at that breaking point and then pulls you back into his arms…….makes me think back to the first time I tried to learn how to swim…..I was calm, followed directions, and did everything my instructor asked me to do…….and then she let me go……and I continued to sink…and the more I sunk, the more frustrated I got….I started flapping my arms…..gasping for breath…….screaming for desperate attention…there is no way she is just going to sit there and let me drown…..is it?.......I could stop…the more I screamed and flailed, the more I succeeded in drowning….then just when I think I should give up and let myself go, she grabs me…….pulls me out of the water…..wipes me with a towel and laughs…..now who is this funny too again?.........
And that’s our lives in a nutshell…..he tells us we can do it….sits us out in that water and waits……and we began the panicking process on our own…..and the more we panic, the more desperate the situation seems…..and even when he pulls us out, we are too busy being mad about what transpired than to give recognition to the one that saved us……how grateful am I?......ugh!!......reflection sucks sometimes……..
So last night I go up to the Green Elephant for the freestyle battle…..now, I usually go to this charity event just to support my partners, the Red Eye District and rub shoulders with a few Europeans…..man, they love to get drunk!!!......I go up there and perform with one of my homeboys from another group, MoMu…….I don’t ever think I am going to win a freestyle battle…im too wordy……with battles, you need to get to the point and I think too much to put it all down within 30 seconds…….but I kept my word and went out there…..the one thing I don’t like about there shows is that they start late…I have to say that because I was ready to go by the time the battles started…..but I went ahead anyway….now depending on who you ask, I was either one of the best battlers last night or on a very lucky string….even I don’t think I did too great….I mean, I felt that I had better punch lines in other competitions but came up short……well, we won……and as much as I was not going to go…..I was so out of it this whole weekend…I went and put some unexpected dollars in my pocket…..faith without works is dead!!!!.........
Its crazy how perception of life changes when things are going well……that’s a very selfish trait…and yes I am guilty of it…….when I am down, I become secluded…..everything bothers me….and I would prefer not to share my joys or failures with anyone…..just like on these blogs….most of you know my mood swings…and there are times when I just don’t want to write…maybe its because I don’t want to be negative and spoil other people’s days…….I would rather teach, encourage, and make a person feel better about themselves……not wishing it was something they could do to help or make someone feel bad about me……that’s a party I don’t want to attend…..I am learning to open up…and not just on here….I have realized that since my granny passed, I don’t talk to anyone about things that go on in my life……..and it catches up to me…I feel drained a lot….stressed even more…and angry all the time……
Now the hard part is knowing how to pick up the pieces….how to open up and love once again…..how to trust someone with my well being……I used to think it would be okay to die lonely…..and I think that’s how I lived my life……I think it has to do with the fact that I don’t like being a disappointment……that’s one of my issues…..I hate failure…on any scope or facet…..but I am learning failure is a part of life……nobody wins all the time……..
WELL AS WE ALL KNOW, EACH FRIDAY WE HOLD A PRELIMINARY GROOVE AT MURPHYS PLACE……THIS FRIDAY WILL BE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME…..WE ARE RAISING MONEY FOR MY DJ, DJ LADY JA-ROQ……..I NEED EVERYBODY TO COME OUT AND SUPPORT THIS EVENT…….SOMETIMES, WE HAVE TO PULL TOGETHER TO HELP ONE ANOTHER OUT AND THIS IS A CALL OF ACTION……..9410 WALNUT STREET….DOORS OPEN AT 9, FREE FOR EVERYBODY UNTIL 10:38!!!........DJ BLASTT ON THE 1S AND 2S………I WILL SEE YOU THERE!!!
Well I am about to go…..shout outs to everyone that continues to support me…..I am now active on twitter so go ahead and follow me…if you think I am funny on here…you haven’t heard anything yet!!...im calling out everybody!!!...... www.twitter.com/spaceshipo
Love yall!!!!!!
Church!!!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
SWIZZ KEYS WIT A CHICO STICK
Soooooo….I can honestly say I had no intentions to write today…….but here I am…thanks to Consuelo hounding me…and I love it……how are you all doing today?.....I am and have been well…been going through a major transitional period in my life…..and lately, I have been at the place where I am letting the chips fall where they may…..in reality, I don’t know what’s going on……it feels like a down period in the entertainment field…..and maybe that’s a good thing…….I needed to step away for a minute…still doing some things….but not as much as I should or I could...the funny thing about that statement is that its an unintentional main idea for this edition of Wise Words of Spaceship…….and the reason for my epiphany…..
Good friends aren’t nice……and I don’t think they should be….we spend so much time having the truth camouflaged by what people THINK we want to hear…..as a society, we spend a lot of time stroking egos and making sure we are accepted…….I think my social circle is small because of this fact…I have yet learned how to fake liking somebody…..this may be a good thing. May be a bad thing…none the less, it helps me identify the grey areas in my personal relationships…..even Jayla, in all her innocence will tell me when she doesn’t approve of something about me…whether its my breath, my clothes, needing a hair cut, or the wrong shoes…….and I love her for it……….
Now a lil back story about Ohayses……..I was raised by my grandparents as we all know…..and even though they were prevalent, I truly raised myself……when something needed to be done, I was typically the one handling business……even at 15 years old, I recall needing to take sports physicals…..I couldn’t wait on my grandmother to give me the money…I played tunk, won it, and got the physical done……she just reimbursed me……if someone didn’t do anything that benefitted me, if didn’t like an article of clothing anymore, even if I wanted to move residency, I did it…..without confirming with anyone and at the blink of an eye……..I was a piece of loose leaf paper....wherever the wind took me and my mental state of mind on a particular date, I went…without thinking or caring where I would be next……..
I see my life as a tree without roots…….my roots were never truly solid into the ground in the first place……..it was hard for me to see growth because of this…I never had a measuring stick….I never paid attention to where I had been……or where I was going…..all I knew is I was going to get there……on a journey with no map if you will…..without these roots, maybe I wasn’t getting the nourishment I needed to grow correctly……without these roots, I was never able to truly establish a legacy……yes I was a tree, but a tree not growing is a dead tree……….
So what am I saying?.........I am taking a closer glance at my life….I see that one of my flaws has been my persistence…….it does take hard work to see great results……..and I am very good at starting the work…..my flaw is completing it……in whatever facet…..and that is the main reason that I have not walked totally into everything God has for me……hearing this from a friend sucked……at the same time, it was refreshing…for so long I wondered what it is that I am missing in my life…….what is it that I am not doing that is stopping me from reaching my destiny……..its not so much what I am not doing…its what I am not doing on a consistent basis…….I have all these great ideas, plans, and dreams bottled up in me…I have a great family within Essential Entertainment that believes in me…it is I that lack sometimes and there, my friends, is where I fail…….
Sometimes its hard recognizing that I don’t know myself…..im used to being invincible and always succeeding....but what happens when natural talent just doesn’t do it?.......I am finally at a place where I have to sit back and pay attention….been living reckless way too long……been getting by just barely…and now it has taken a toll……now is the time for me to rectify the mistakes I have made….now is the time to admit my faults to myself and do all I can to improve them…..
Persistence….patience……drive…and a passion…..those things I have to grasp and truly shoot for….im not getting younger and the things I long for…..financial security…a better relationship on my behalf with God….a family……my own youth center…are attainable….its up to me….its time to stop lying to myself and living inside the bubble I feel secure in……..
Please don’t take this as a sad story….its a great feeling to know where my mishaps are…I am learning to listen to others and become a better person for it……..self reflection only goes so far………….
Love yall!!!!!
Church!!!!!
Good friends aren’t nice……and I don’t think they should be….we spend so much time having the truth camouflaged by what people THINK we want to hear…..as a society, we spend a lot of time stroking egos and making sure we are accepted…….I think my social circle is small because of this fact…I have yet learned how to fake liking somebody…..this may be a good thing. May be a bad thing…none the less, it helps me identify the grey areas in my personal relationships…..even Jayla, in all her innocence will tell me when she doesn’t approve of something about me…whether its my breath, my clothes, needing a hair cut, or the wrong shoes…….and I love her for it……….
Now a lil back story about Ohayses……..I was raised by my grandparents as we all know…..and even though they were prevalent, I truly raised myself……when something needed to be done, I was typically the one handling business……even at 15 years old, I recall needing to take sports physicals…..I couldn’t wait on my grandmother to give me the money…I played tunk, won it, and got the physical done……she just reimbursed me……if someone didn’t do anything that benefitted me, if didn’t like an article of clothing anymore, even if I wanted to move residency, I did it…..without confirming with anyone and at the blink of an eye……..I was a piece of loose leaf paper....wherever the wind took me and my mental state of mind on a particular date, I went…without thinking or caring where I would be next……..
I see my life as a tree without roots…….my roots were never truly solid into the ground in the first place……..it was hard for me to see growth because of this…I never had a measuring stick….I never paid attention to where I had been……or where I was going…..all I knew is I was going to get there……on a journey with no map if you will…..without these roots, maybe I wasn’t getting the nourishment I needed to grow correctly……without these roots, I was never able to truly establish a legacy……yes I was a tree, but a tree not growing is a dead tree……….
So what am I saying?.........I am taking a closer glance at my life….I see that one of my flaws has been my persistence…….it does take hard work to see great results……..and I am very good at starting the work…..my flaw is completing it……in whatever facet…..and that is the main reason that I have not walked totally into everything God has for me……hearing this from a friend sucked……at the same time, it was refreshing…for so long I wondered what it is that I am missing in my life…….what is it that I am not doing that is stopping me from reaching my destiny……..its not so much what I am not doing…its what I am not doing on a consistent basis…….I have all these great ideas, plans, and dreams bottled up in me…I have a great family within Essential Entertainment that believes in me…it is I that lack sometimes and there, my friends, is where I fail…….
Sometimes its hard recognizing that I don’t know myself…..im used to being invincible and always succeeding....but what happens when natural talent just doesn’t do it?.......I am finally at a place where I have to sit back and pay attention….been living reckless way too long……been getting by just barely…and now it has taken a toll……now is the time for me to rectify the mistakes I have made….now is the time to admit my faults to myself and do all I can to improve them…..
Persistence….patience……drive…and a passion…..those things I have to grasp and truly shoot for….im not getting younger and the things I long for…..financial security…a better relationship on my behalf with God….a family……my own youth center…are attainable….its up to me….its time to stop lying to myself and living inside the bubble I feel secure in……..
Please don’t take this as a sad story….its a great feeling to know where my mishaps are…I am learning to listen to others and become a better person for it……..self reflection only goes so far………….
Love yall!!!!!
Church!!!!!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
J.O.S.E
Hidey ho my fellow abnormals!!!......I hope you all are doing and feeling good this Wednesday afternoon…..I have been sleepy since my arrival to Earth this morning……I partied very hard last night…maybe too hard for a Tuesday night…nonetheless, I am alive and kicking…with only a few hours left in my work day……..
Been noticing a few things…..if you know me, you know I notice a lot of things…..but that’s a different angle…..there is a war going on outside that no one is safe from…..its an epidemic far worse than disease and is much more detrimental the younger you are…..my friends, I present to you….JEALOUSY……..
Last night I went to the club for a gala event…..and it was poppin!!......I really enjoyed myself…..during the night I notice two groups chant battling as the music played….it was cool....I know both acts rather well…and I figured it was pretty harmless advertising….well one of the groups got on stage and had a pretty awesome show…during their performance, the other group continue with the chanting…..now, in my opinion, I did feel this was disrespectful…give them the floor and shut up….but I didn’t say anything……after said group got off stage, an argument ensued…….why you may ask?...well one of the members of the group not performing felt that the group performing was talking about them……he swore it was freestyle…..I couldn’t help but laugh…….in the mist of his rant, he stated though, that “ they think they all that anyway!!”…….how does he know….and furthermore, why does he care??.........at the end of the day, unnecessary pepper spray, people being kicked out the club, And a group not being able to perform was the result……all because of…………
My homeboy met this girl AT THE CLUB…….they have been talking for about two months and everything was going well…….one day, he explains, he tells her his displeasure for her going out on the weekends with her female friends…….even though he works most evenings……..this put a strain on their relationship……well one Friday, she tells him that she was going out and he decides to take off work……he goes to the club before she gets there and finds a place to scope her every move……she walks in the club and proceeds to have a great time…..while at the bar, a guy approaches her….they laugh and my friend is pissed……for 5 minutes, he stares at her talking to this guy and enjoying his company….he cant take it anymore…..he bull rushes over there and proceeds to grab her wrist…..the other guy at the bar spins him around and hits him so hard he wish he was a pillow……….he falls to the ground, security comes to escort him out and he screams that she is “a bunch of curse words”…….later on, he finds out that was her brother…….got his ass whooped all because of…………………..
Man been working at the same job for 10 years…his best friend at the workplace has been there 5…..most days, they go to lunch together, sit by each other and knows each others family well……the guy that has been there for 10 years reads that there is an opening for a higher ranking position at the job…so he applies…..he tells his friend to apply as well….better percentage I assume……well, the friend gets the job……and the 10 year vet is fuming……he feels in his heart he has more credentials, more experience, and is a better worker……..the relationship strained, one day he flies off the handle at work and every minute thing that has happened in their relationship is exposed…….the whole company is shocked at what they are hearing…because he did it in front of everybody…..while online looking for a new job, the 10 year vet realizes he lost his occupation all because of……………………….
And these are some instances…don’t get it wrong….a lot of times I think we miss our blessings because we are too worried about others…..I learned a long time ago that when you see someone getting blessed, thank God……that means he is still in that line of work…….but what do we do?...we get upset and find ways and reasons to bring each other down…….our minds are so messed up, we will do what we can to spoil a mood if it is not beneficial to us…….arguing before our mate goes out or has something important to do……not supporting each other…….hearing and not listening…..a total lack of care for mankind…..praying for downfalls……..there are many ways we are jealous of others…and many ways we don’t realize we are acting jealous…..as great as life is; its not that serious people….lets worry only about our own progression and encourage others…….life isn’t a competition all the time….sometimes you have to be willing to share the wealth………don’t get caught up angry at the world all because of…………
Well, this wraps up this edition……I love yall…..I hope you enjoyed this reading….sometimes I know what I want to write about and sometimes I just write…..today was a little bit of both….im getting fed up seeing the bull crap…..especially in the industry I am in……lets support and love one another…..realize that your next breath is not promised to you……..
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
Been noticing a few things…..if you know me, you know I notice a lot of things…..but that’s a different angle…..there is a war going on outside that no one is safe from…..its an epidemic far worse than disease and is much more detrimental the younger you are…..my friends, I present to you….JEALOUSY……..
Last night I went to the club for a gala event…..and it was poppin!!......I really enjoyed myself…..during the night I notice two groups chant battling as the music played….it was cool....I know both acts rather well…and I figured it was pretty harmless advertising….well one of the groups got on stage and had a pretty awesome show…during their performance, the other group continue with the chanting…..now, in my opinion, I did feel this was disrespectful…give them the floor and shut up….but I didn’t say anything……after said group got off stage, an argument ensued…….why you may ask?...well one of the members of the group not performing felt that the group performing was talking about them……he swore it was freestyle…..I couldn’t help but laugh…….in the mist of his rant, he stated though, that “ they think they all that anyway!!”…….how does he know….and furthermore, why does he care??.........at the end of the day, unnecessary pepper spray, people being kicked out the club, And a group not being able to perform was the result……all because of…………
My homeboy met this girl AT THE CLUB…….they have been talking for about two months and everything was going well…….one day, he explains, he tells her his displeasure for her going out on the weekends with her female friends…….even though he works most evenings……..this put a strain on their relationship……well one Friday, she tells him that she was going out and he decides to take off work……he goes to the club before she gets there and finds a place to scope her every move……she walks in the club and proceeds to have a great time…..while at the bar, a guy approaches her….they laugh and my friend is pissed……for 5 minutes, he stares at her talking to this guy and enjoying his company….he cant take it anymore…..he bull rushes over there and proceeds to grab her wrist…..the other guy at the bar spins him around and hits him so hard he wish he was a pillow……….he falls to the ground, security comes to escort him out and he screams that she is “a bunch of curse words”…….later on, he finds out that was her brother…….got his ass whooped all because of…………………..
Man been working at the same job for 10 years…his best friend at the workplace has been there 5…..most days, they go to lunch together, sit by each other and knows each others family well……the guy that has been there for 10 years reads that there is an opening for a higher ranking position at the job…so he applies…..he tells his friend to apply as well….better percentage I assume……well, the friend gets the job……and the 10 year vet is fuming……he feels in his heart he has more credentials, more experience, and is a better worker……..the relationship strained, one day he flies off the handle at work and every minute thing that has happened in their relationship is exposed…….the whole company is shocked at what they are hearing…because he did it in front of everybody…..while online looking for a new job, the 10 year vet realizes he lost his occupation all because of……………………….
And these are some instances…don’t get it wrong….a lot of times I think we miss our blessings because we are too worried about others…..I learned a long time ago that when you see someone getting blessed, thank God……that means he is still in that line of work…….but what do we do?...we get upset and find ways and reasons to bring each other down…….our minds are so messed up, we will do what we can to spoil a mood if it is not beneficial to us…….arguing before our mate goes out or has something important to do……not supporting each other…….hearing and not listening…..a total lack of care for mankind…..praying for downfalls……..there are many ways we are jealous of others…and many ways we don’t realize we are acting jealous…..as great as life is; its not that serious people….lets worry only about our own progression and encourage others…….life isn’t a competition all the time….sometimes you have to be willing to share the wealth………don’t get caught up angry at the world all because of…………
Well, this wraps up this edition……I love yall…..I hope you enjoyed this reading….sometimes I know what I want to write about and sometimes I just write…..today was a little bit of both….im getting fed up seeing the bull crap…..especially in the industry I am in……lets support and love one another…..realize that your next breath is not promised to you……..
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT I WONT STOP!!!
Wow……I’m actually writing today…..I missed you guys so much…..really didn’t have anything constructive to talk about…..been doing a lot of reshuffling in my life….nothing major…just had to focus on being a better man……and with that, I had to give a few things up……how have you all been?....I hope to find you all in good spirits and as joyful as possible…….I’m good…ready to get off work…..like always…I guess the more things change, the more things stay the same……..
I want to sincerely thank everyone for their concern……not being funny when I say this…but I truly didn’t think this many people cared…..there became a point when I let my own insecurities take me away from the joys of life…..I begin to believe that the blog was only for my entertainment…in a way, I began to take them for granted…..I guess you never really know how many lives you touch by putting a magnifying glass to your own issues…..I want to give a special thank you to my strength and conditioning coach, Derek Daider…….even though we work together on this Essential Entertainment journey, he was there as a big brother, refusing to let me stay in my rut regardless of circumstance…..no homo….I love you bro…….
Been going to church on a regular lately…..and to be honest, sometimes I haven’t wanted to go….it seems as if Jayla knows if she is staying at my house, church is on the menu….so she makes sure I am awake and I get my butt up and go to church every Sunday…..what more can u ask for in a daughter you know??........it was funny because Stephanie forgot her car seat this past Saturday and she was upset!!.....I mean, if we could understand everything she was saying, she probably cursed her mom out……she was not happy about possibly missing church…..but that’s the push I need sometime….it would have been easy for me to roll over and go back to sleep…..but what this generation is missing…myself including…is an active faith…..and that happens when you actively pursue the grace of God……..
I think the best thing that this time off did was give me a clean slate with people……and events…..I feel the business aspect was getting too personal….as I mentioned before, I felt censored…..and I have come to grips that I should be…..its not right for me to blatantly give my side of the story to the masses and make someone feel like they are being attacked……in the same light, it was due to me showing more affection then I should….catch 22 if you will……I appreciate the people I meet and I definitely don’t wanna burn bridges…..I just have to learn to keep my mouth shut or say things with a more diplomatic perspective……all because I have this forum does not allow me to be brash and rude and uncaring of others….if I continue that path, I will reap what I sew…..don’t get wrong though….I will continue to voice my opinions……I will continue to give you insight into my world and my emotions……and I will continue to be Spaceship Ohayses……..
I have realized there are times where I feel loneliness…..its easy to think because Spaceship is everywhere and does everything, that I don’t have a void in my life…..I do…and I spend a lot of time denying it…..I find every source of an excuse to stay alone…to not have that rock beside me…..is it fear?...is it the fact that I feel I will disappoint?.....is it that I know that I am too busy?....not sure…and no this is not my calling for my own reality show…..I’m ready for completion…..on all fronts…..the tricky part is how do I go about doing this…a good friend of mine told me my problem is the wall I have up…on all fronts……and she was correct……how this wall was built, I don’t know….and what it will take to bring it down…that’s a good question……but I am focused on aligning myself up for greatness……no matter who it hurts in the end…….
And I think I just answered my own question….that has been my problem…not wanting to hurt people….and in the meanwhile, I have been hurting myself….playing with my own emotions…and pulling myself back from my rightful place in society……
And this is not a sad song; but yet, a resurrection if you will…..as much as I type, to live it is hard…..for I am human…..and a stubborn one at that stuck in my ways since I was 9……every night I pray that God will help me change my ways, actions, disposition, and course….and most days I forget my own prayer….until I lay back down…..I may not write everyday like I used to…..I may not have something funny to say all the time anymore….but I will make a promise to work as hard to be a better person……to be a better father, a better artist, a better employee and employer, and a better man…….it will take time…….in the end, that’s all I got……….
Once again, I missed yall so much!!....make sure you follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/spaceshipo
Love yall!!!
Church!!!
I want to sincerely thank everyone for their concern……not being funny when I say this…but I truly didn’t think this many people cared…..there became a point when I let my own insecurities take me away from the joys of life…..I begin to believe that the blog was only for my entertainment…in a way, I began to take them for granted…..I guess you never really know how many lives you touch by putting a magnifying glass to your own issues…..I want to give a special thank you to my strength and conditioning coach, Derek Daider…….even though we work together on this Essential Entertainment journey, he was there as a big brother, refusing to let me stay in my rut regardless of circumstance…..no homo….I love you bro…….
Been going to church on a regular lately…..and to be honest, sometimes I haven’t wanted to go….it seems as if Jayla knows if she is staying at my house, church is on the menu….so she makes sure I am awake and I get my butt up and go to church every Sunday…..what more can u ask for in a daughter you know??........it was funny because Stephanie forgot her car seat this past Saturday and she was upset!!.....I mean, if we could understand everything she was saying, she probably cursed her mom out……she was not happy about possibly missing church…..but that’s the push I need sometime….it would have been easy for me to roll over and go back to sleep…..but what this generation is missing…myself including…is an active faith…..and that happens when you actively pursue the grace of God……..
I think the best thing that this time off did was give me a clean slate with people……and events…..I feel the business aspect was getting too personal….as I mentioned before, I felt censored…..and I have come to grips that I should be…..its not right for me to blatantly give my side of the story to the masses and make someone feel like they are being attacked……in the same light, it was due to me showing more affection then I should….catch 22 if you will……I appreciate the people I meet and I definitely don’t wanna burn bridges…..I just have to learn to keep my mouth shut or say things with a more diplomatic perspective……all because I have this forum does not allow me to be brash and rude and uncaring of others….if I continue that path, I will reap what I sew…..don’t get wrong though….I will continue to voice my opinions……I will continue to give you insight into my world and my emotions……and I will continue to be Spaceship Ohayses……..
I have realized there are times where I feel loneliness…..its easy to think because Spaceship is everywhere and does everything, that I don’t have a void in my life…..I do…and I spend a lot of time denying it…..I find every source of an excuse to stay alone…to not have that rock beside me…..is it fear?...is it the fact that I feel I will disappoint?.....is it that I know that I am too busy?....not sure…and no this is not my calling for my own reality show…..I’m ready for completion…..on all fronts…..the tricky part is how do I go about doing this…a good friend of mine told me my problem is the wall I have up…on all fronts……and she was correct……how this wall was built, I don’t know….and what it will take to bring it down…that’s a good question……but I am focused on aligning myself up for greatness……no matter who it hurts in the end…….
And I think I just answered my own question….that has been my problem…not wanting to hurt people….and in the meanwhile, I have been hurting myself….playing with my own emotions…and pulling myself back from my rightful place in society……
And this is not a sad song; but yet, a resurrection if you will…..as much as I type, to live it is hard…..for I am human…..and a stubborn one at that stuck in my ways since I was 9……every night I pray that God will help me change my ways, actions, disposition, and course….and most days I forget my own prayer….until I lay back down…..I may not write everyday like I used to…..I may not have something funny to say all the time anymore….but I will make a promise to work as hard to be a better person……to be a better father, a better artist, a better employee and employer, and a better man…….it will take time…….in the end, that’s all I got……….
Once again, I missed yall so much!!....make sure you follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/spaceshipo
Love yall!!!
Church!!!
Monday, July 12, 2010
YOU CAN'T BE ME!! I'M EDDIE KANE JR!!
Good evening you guys…..I know I am a little bit late today…that’s because my schedule changed at work…..so I am here until 9…yeah, I know…missing wrestling and everything….but I am cool with it…….hope you all had a great weekend…..mine was rather busy……and scattered…..I think that is becoming the definition of my life……scattered…I’m starting to feel like the chicken with its head cut off…..going every way but don’t which one is right……almost didn’t blog today….in one of those moods again……boy, I tell you…RUTS SUCK!!...haha…that rhymed……
Before I begin writing I want to send a happy birthday to my girl Robin……happy 44th birthday love…you look good for being a cougar!!...GROWL!!!!
But on a serious note…yeah, I almost didn’t write today…been doing a lot of soul searching……I was talking to the pastor of the church I attend and one thing that stuck out about our conversation is my honesty….yeah, I write to you guys most days…and I try to open up myself and let you see the insides of a hungry entertainment…..but I haven’t been honest with myself……I take a lot of things and put them in the back burner….knowing how important it is to stay positive and not talk to much about my personal life, I have, in some regard, started to cheat myself……he told me I needed to write…..I informed him I do write….and he explained that even though I write these blogs, I don’t write my feelings ENTIRELY…..I write what I want you all to read……and its an accurate statement…..I cant talk about everything on here…..I know too many sensitive people……over this past year, I have been censored because of what some people have felt was a “shot”……rather it was a relationship with friends, family, or associates……my shows, their promoters, owners, and artists…….or simply a random question or thought I have because I am Spaceship Ohayses……its amazing how people that “think” they know me opinion differs from those that actually do know me….it has never been my intent on hurting anyone or making anyone feel uncomfortable about a situation or circumstance…….
And that is one of my issues…..justifying my actions….I don’t know if writing this blog is worth it anymore….I think I need to get back in tune with myself….I was watching the Behind the Music episode on Jennifer Hudson yesterday and they were talking about her being asked to do a movie shortly after her mother was killed….she told them she couldn’t jump into another character because she was still trying to figure out who she was now after that tragedy……I feel her pain…..everyday, I jump into my Superman suit of being Spaceship Ohayses…….I realize that I have yet to spend one day crying about my grandmother…..even though I spend most of my days wishing I could talk to her…..and not just through heaven……no matter what I go through, I have to be Spaceship and the pains I feel are building up……me being me just shrugs it off; who cares anyway…people see me and want to laugh…..want to debate, and want the pleasures met in some aspect…I wonder how my life would be different if I would have taken time to adjust to this change of having my best friend gone….I used my music as my crutch…….thinking I was as invincible as any other superhero…..I guess I am not…..
Some days I wonder if I did disappear…..just fell off the face of the Earth for a spell, who would notice?.......I’m not really sure of that answer and may not even care for it, but I think that option is imminent…..I need to get away and make some sense of what is going on in my world…..I write because I know I am imperfect….I try to spill my guts without giving too much to the masses….I would hate for someone to use my weakness against me……most of my life, I have been the rock; a foundation for those who didn’t think they could continue on……even though I knew my battles were mounting, I believe I could always win…I WOULD always win…….it just has always been that way……
I feel like Mike Tyson in fighting Buster Douglas……he was the baddest man on the planet…feared by all that came against him….he won many fights even before the bell rang….and once he was knocked out, not only was it hard for him to get back up on that day, but essentially, his career was over from that point on…….
I don’t want that for myself….so before I get knocked out, I need to regroup…..I need to make plan what truly my issues are and where I need God to help me…..I have never been this weak in my life……I have never been on the brink of going crazy like this….everywhere I turn, it seems like another obstacle……..everywhere I run, another problem…….so here I am…..standing….in the middle of my deserted island, begging for help……..
Its kinda ironic that my name is Ohayses…….my mental state of mind is searching for that oasis right now…..I’m drained…almost too fatigued to continue fighting……when do I ask myself is it worth it…..when do I say, I have had enough…….when……is it over?.....
To all of you, I thank you for your patience with me on this journey…..life is about results, and quite frankly…I haven’t shown much…….I promise that I will make all of those that truly care about me proud……..its time to shed some dead skin……its time to jump into my destiny……..but first….I must fall in love with someone I have forgotten in this process towards immortality……ME………
Love yall!!!
Church!!!
Before I begin writing I want to send a happy birthday to my girl Robin……happy 44th birthday love…you look good for being a cougar!!...GROWL!!!!
But on a serious note…yeah, I almost didn’t write today…been doing a lot of soul searching……I was talking to the pastor of the church I attend and one thing that stuck out about our conversation is my honesty….yeah, I write to you guys most days…and I try to open up myself and let you see the insides of a hungry entertainment…..but I haven’t been honest with myself……I take a lot of things and put them in the back burner….knowing how important it is to stay positive and not talk to much about my personal life, I have, in some regard, started to cheat myself……he told me I needed to write…..I informed him I do write….and he explained that even though I write these blogs, I don’t write my feelings ENTIRELY…..I write what I want you all to read……and its an accurate statement…..I cant talk about everything on here…..I know too many sensitive people……over this past year, I have been censored because of what some people have felt was a “shot”……rather it was a relationship with friends, family, or associates……my shows, their promoters, owners, and artists…….or simply a random question or thought I have because I am Spaceship Ohayses……its amazing how people that “think” they know me opinion differs from those that actually do know me….it has never been my intent on hurting anyone or making anyone feel uncomfortable about a situation or circumstance…….
And that is one of my issues…..justifying my actions….I don’t know if writing this blog is worth it anymore….I think I need to get back in tune with myself….I was watching the Behind the Music episode on Jennifer Hudson yesterday and they were talking about her being asked to do a movie shortly after her mother was killed….she told them she couldn’t jump into another character because she was still trying to figure out who she was now after that tragedy……I feel her pain…..everyday, I jump into my Superman suit of being Spaceship Ohayses…….I realize that I have yet to spend one day crying about my grandmother…..even though I spend most of my days wishing I could talk to her…..and not just through heaven……no matter what I go through, I have to be Spaceship and the pains I feel are building up……me being me just shrugs it off; who cares anyway…people see me and want to laugh…..want to debate, and want the pleasures met in some aspect…I wonder how my life would be different if I would have taken time to adjust to this change of having my best friend gone….I used my music as my crutch…….thinking I was as invincible as any other superhero…..I guess I am not…..
Some days I wonder if I did disappear…..just fell off the face of the Earth for a spell, who would notice?.......I’m not really sure of that answer and may not even care for it, but I think that option is imminent…..I need to get away and make some sense of what is going on in my world…..I write because I know I am imperfect….I try to spill my guts without giving too much to the masses….I would hate for someone to use my weakness against me……most of my life, I have been the rock; a foundation for those who didn’t think they could continue on……even though I knew my battles were mounting, I believe I could always win…I WOULD always win…….it just has always been that way……
I feel like Mike Tyson in fighting Buster Douglas……he was the baddest man on the planet…feared by all that came against him….he won many fights even before the bell rang….and once he was knocked out, not only was it hard for him to get back up on that day, but essentially, his career was over from that point on…….
I don’t want that for myself….so before I get knocked out, I need to regroup…..I need to make plan what truly my issues are and where I need God to help me…..I have never been this weak in my life……I have never been on the brink of going crazy like this….everywhere I turn, it seems like another obstacle……..everywhere I run, another problem…….so here I am…..standing….in the middle of my deserted island, begging for help……..
Its kinda ironic that my name is Ohayses…….my mental state of mind is searching for that oasis right now…..I’m drained…almost too fatigued to continue fighting……when do I ask myself is it worth it…..when do I say, I have had enough…….when……is it over?.....
To all of you, I thank you for your patience with me on this journey…..life is about results, and quite frankly…I haven’t shown much…….I promise that I will make all of those that truly care about me proud……..its time to shed some dead skin……its time to jump into my destiny……..but first….I must fall in love with someone I have forgotten in this process towards immortality……ME………
Love yall!!!
Church!!!
Friday, July 9, 2010
SKYDIVING WITH CONCRETE KITES
Whew!!...thought I was going to have to work tonight…..and in actuality, I was scheduled to……but I talked to one of the supervisors and I get a free pass…..although, my boss isn’t here today, so I am not in the clear…..just pray for me…..how are you all doing today?.......I’m sleepy…hell, I guess I stay that way though….I hope you all have a great weekend…..and if you are looking for something to do, here it is……ALL NU GROOVE SESSION TOMORROW NIGHT @ MURPHYS PLACE.....GROWN AND SEXY AT ITS FINEST!!......EVERYBODY FREE BEFORE 10:38!!!.....DJ BLAST ON THE ONES AND TWOS!!!...9410 WALNUT STREET.....IF YOU COMING, BRING A FRIEND!!...........
Last week was cool……we had a nice crowd…I am definitely looking forward to even more people this weekend…..its kind of cool to go to a spot and not having to worry about how many people will be mad at you by the end of the night……..their only purpose now is to listen to some great music and to enjoy themselves……and that’s exactly what I will be doing as well…..sitting back and enjoying the evening with great company….YOU!!!...........
Don’t forget about the Essential Yard Sale also going on tomorrow……..it will be at the corner of Spring Valley and Preston…….and if you have anything you may want to donate, please let me know…we are always in need of more things to sale……my goal is to donate at least 50 book bags to local children who can’t afford their own….remember, EDUCATION IS THE PASSPORT TO THE FUTURE; FOR TOMORROW BELONGS TO THE PEOPLE WHO PREPARE FOR IT TODAY- EXCELEENCE WILL BE TOLERATED”…...you know what’s funny?.......they used to say that during our announcements when I was in high school…and to this day, I still remember it……and there are so many things I don’t remember…….the power of the brain…….
A little disappointed today…..I had a client call in that we have been chasing for a long time……I made contact and took care of the situation….but upon further investigation of my work, I saw that I made many minor errors……now the supervisor that caught these errors talked to me and told me not to be discouraged…..but I am…I pride myself on trying to do a job correctly…….I like to do this right…and when I don’t, I feel like a failure in some aspect…I know I wont lose my job over it……I even know it was a great learning opportunity……I guess I just need to get on the ball more…..
There was something he said that really stuck with me though…..and it ties into something my grandfather used to tell me….”don’t be a jack of all trades and a master of none”….that’s what gramps said….this boss told me not to do a lot of things at 10% and nothing at 100%...eventually someone is going to have to come behind and finish that 90%........and that’s not a good feeling……sometimes I think I do try to dabble in too much stuff and not become a master of what I am really good at…I remember in high school, I played basketball, football, baseball, ran track, wrestled, and chess……..good at all of them…but not great…..and here at work, I must make an effort to work diligently at one task before I get sidetracked with another job…….just food for thought…….
Driving home last night and I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat…there was McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, Long John Silver’s, Raising Cane’s, and a host of other restaurants to choose from……I started thinking…….what if there was only one place to eat?......what if Burger King was the only option outside of cooking at home?.......what would their prices be?.....how about the taste of the food?.....the customer service?....how packed would it be?....and would they ever change their menu…….I realized, “Thank God for options!!!”……
In life, there is always competition….if there wasn’t how would complacency affect us…..we must always attempt to become better, because somewhere….someone is trying to take your spot…..even in this hip hop world I live in, I know one thing is a fact….there is somebody waiting on my to falter………I remember eating 300 big macs in a row…(not in a day, but every time I went there)…..it got boring…….it became commonplace…and eventually, I became disgusted with its taste……I used to not want to eat anywhere else but McDonald’s………options and competition create identity……
When we see something that is a threat to us, we have two options….we can either curl up in the corner and quit…or we can re-invent ourselves to become better than the obstacle ahead of us……what remains true is that the competition cares what you are doing, but doesn’t care if u succeed or not…….in fact, they are praying for your downfall…….if you look at life, everything is a battle…everything you long for, you have to compete for………while the winners and losers may be gray, the fact that they exist is black and white…….
I am a guy that pretty much likes things as is…I don’t really step out my boundaries on clothing, food, music, and point of views…….but I do love to hear and learn about other things……we cant become prejudice to thinking our way is the only that matters……we cant believe that because we eat over here, that this is all there is to eat in the world…we must understand that options are present and must respect them for what they are…….don’t get caught up thinking that no one is invincible and your preference is perfect……opinions are yours, but options are for everybody!!!!........
Well I am about to end this daily ritual…..shout outs to Rhonda….HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU AS WELL LOVE……man a lot of my friends are having birthdays this week…..sucks that my funds aren’t where they need to be…….as I told you earlier, thank you for being in my life…thank you for being there for me….THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIENNNNNNDDDD!!!!.......I hope you have an awesome weekend and you and Tonya don’t party too much!!!........
See yall sometime tomorrow my fellow Martians!!!!
Love yall!!!!!!
Church!!!!!
Last week was cool……we had a nice crowd…I am definitely looking forward to even more people this weekend…..its kind of cool to go to a spot and not having to worry about how many people will be mad at you by the end of the night……..their only purpose now is to listen to some great music and to enjoy themselves……and that’s exactly what I will be doing as well…..sitting back and enjoying the evening with great company….YOU!!!...........
Don’t forget about the Essential Yard Sale also going on tomorrow……..it will be at the corner of Spring Valley and Preston…….and if you have anything you may want to donate, please let me know…we are always in need of more things to sale……my goal is to donate at least 50 book bags to local children who can’t afford their own….remember, EDUCATION IS THE PASSPORT TO THE FUTURE; FOR TOMORROW BELONGS TO THE PEOPLE WHO PREPARE FOR IT TODAY- EXCELEENCE WILL BE TOLERATED”…...you know what’s funny?.......they used to say that during our announcements when I was in high school…and to this day, I still remember it……and there are so many things I don’t remember…….the power of the brain…….
A little disappointed today…..I had a client call in that we have been chasing for a long time……I made contact and took care of the situation….but upon further investigation of my work, I saw that I made many minor errors……now the supervisor that caught these errors talked to me and told me not to be discouraged…..but I am…I pride myself on trying to do a job correctly…….I like to do this right…and when I don’t, I feel like a failure in some aspect…I know I wont lose my job over it……I even know it was a great learning opportunity……I guess I just need to get on the ball more…..
There was something he said that really stuck with me though…..and it ties into something my grandfather used to tell me….”don’t be a jack of all trades and a master of none”….that’s what gramps said….this boss told me not to do a lot of things at 10% and nothing at 100%...eventually someone is going to have to come behind and finish that 90%........and that’s not a good feeling……sometimes I think I do try to dabble in too much stuff and not become a master of what I am really good at…I remember in high school, I played basketball, football, baseball, ran track, wrestled, and chess……..good at all of them…but not great…..and here at work, I must make an effort to work diligently at one task before I get sidetracked with another job…….just food for thought…….
Driving home last night and I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat…there was McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, Long John Silver’s, Raising Cane’s, and a host of other restaurants to choose from……I started thinking…….what if there was only one place to eat?......what if Burger King was the only option outside of cooking at home?.......what would their prices be?.....how about the taste of the food?.....the customer service?....how packed would it be?....and would they ever change their menu…….I realized, “Thank God for options!!!”……
In life, there is always competition….if there wasn’t how would complacency affect us…..we must always attempt to become better, because somewhere….someone is trying to take your spot…..even in this hip hop world I live in, I know one thing is a fact….there is somebody waiting on my to falter………I remember eating 300 big macs in a row…(not in a day, but every time I went there)…..it got boring…….it became commonplace…and eventually, I became disgusted with its taste……I used to not want to eat anywhere else but McDonald’s………options and competition create identity……
When we see something that is a threat to us, we have two options….we can either curl up in the corner and quit…or we can re-invent ourselves to become better than the obstacle ahead of us……what remains true is that the competition cares what you are doing, but doesn’t care if u succeed or not…….in fact, they are praying for your downfall…….if you look at life, everything is a battle…everything you long for, you have to compete for………while the winners and losers may be gray, the fact that they exist is black and white…….
I am a guy that pretty much likes things as is…I don’t really step out my boundaries on clothing, food, music, and point of views…….but I do love to hear and learn about other things……we cant become prejudice to thinking our way is the only that matters……we cant believe that because we eat over here, that this is all there is to eat in the world…we must understand that options are present and must respect them for what they are…….don’t get caught up thinking that no one is invincible and your preference is perfect……opinions are yours, but options are for everybody!!!!........
Well I am about to end this daily ritual…..shout outs to Rhonda….HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU AS WELL LOVE……man a lot of my friends are having birthdays this week…..sucks that my funds aren’t where they need to be…….as I told you earlier, thank you for being in my life…thank you for being there for me….THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIENNNNNNDDDD!!!!.......I hope you have an awesome weekend and you and Tonya don’t party too much!!!........
See yall sometime tomorrow my fellow Martians!!!!
Love yall!!!!!!
Church!!!!!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
THE MAN IN THE MIRROR NEEDS WINDEX!!
So I am still here at work…and it’s raining outside…the things I would do right now to get some sleep!!...how are you all doing this evening?......I’m feeling good……got some good rest last night……but you know my work is never done…..one more day until the weekend…….and even then, I still will be busy…..with all that I do, I so love the life I live….at times, it does get bothersome….sometimes, I wanna rest…….but I know better…plus I have a fear….if I rest for one moment, I will miss something and my opportunity may pass me by……..
Well, in 7 days, I will be headed to Reno for a show…..didn’t think I was going to go but now it looks like a reality…..its weird how I don’t get excited for a lot of things….but I do get extremely nervous…….for most of my events….I guess it’s the anticipation of if the crowd will enjoy themselves…….from open mics, to the black history program, to any endeavor…at the end of the day, I wanna be memorable…and if that doesn’t happen, I feel like I did not complete the mission the way it should have been…….
Not much to talk about today…..or so I say……its funny how once you start using your mind to think, other things come out……and I think that’s one of the blessings of writing everyday…to be able to open a channel of my mind that I know I wouldn’t if I didn’t use this blog as a platform to vent……it is great to go back and read a lot of what I have written….sometimes…..sometimes I have to drink truth serum and take a look at myself……although I may write a lot of meaningful things, I have to be mindful to practice what I preach……and it is hard….especially living in this world…..of course, I am no saint……I do try everyday to be a better person than I was yesterday…..some days I succeed…and some days I ask what the heck is wrong with me……I guess that’s the price of humanity……
To reflect on myself is a good thing though……when I was younger, I never thought any cared for me…..I lived in a “dog eat dog” state of mine……growing up in Flint, you pretty much had to…..I had my grandparents, but once I left the walls of Harriet Street, there was no guarantee I would make it home that night…..of course I had my hand in the hood cookie jar…….my mission was to be like the big dogs of the world…with no financial complications and all the power and clout I could muster……my dream was not to be someone of purpose, but someone with power…..
Moving to Mississippi, I felt I had an advantage over my peers….growing up in what I considered a fast pace and metropolitan lifestyle, I was not accustomed to the homely nature of the South……there was this hospitality that I was ignorant to………a realm of graciousness that was not becoming of my disposition…..I was eager to stay on my pedestal….the “ I am better than you” mentality was easily displayed in classes, card games, smoking, shopping, and anything else I could think of…..slowly though, being so isolated started to wear on me…….I wanted to be appreciated in someone other than myself eyes….but of course, I had too much pride to articulate this…..through an unsuccessful marriage and moving to Texas, I gut my wall back up…….its better to stay guarded than to be hurt……tears were for the weak….its better not to show my weakness to anyone because they could use it against me………..
Here I am, 12 years after my original migration, a total shell of my former self…..its crazy how through all the trials and tribulations, I still attempted to maintain a hardness about me……but the growth that I have seen within me only came out once I realized it was okay to share my feelings…still, I am not good at it…and may never be for fear of getting hurt……but its okay to tell someone that I care about them now…its cool to appreciate others for the things they do for me….its okay to reach out for help when I am weak….I used to think I was going to die a lonely old man…..no one would even know I was gone for a few days or weeks……I know I have people that love me and I have to show them that same respect…..its harder for me than what you think……and not because I don’t care…I have been used to disappointing people when they become attached…whether it was a girl, teammates, family, or friends…….it became acceptable and a protocol in my eyes…….get close, have fun, become disappointed, become distant again……
I am here to tell you….if God wanted us to be alone, he wouldn’t make babies……don’t allow your stubbornness to restrict the blessings of people in your life…whether right, wrong or indifferent, people are placed in your life for a reason….some people are in my life to help me stay on the straight and narrow…not to be a friend……everyone you meet wont tell you sweet music…some of it is designed to make you a better person……thank you for all that you guys do to help me become a better me……I am prepared more than ever to walk across that bridge to success with all of you on my back…..the burdens I thought were too heavy to lift are becoming a memory…and that pride I used to have, has disintegrated to humbleness…..
Well I won’t continue to be long winded…hopefully; you all get the point…thank you for molding me……
Shout outs to my girl Necole…..happy birthday big eyes…love you so much…guess now I have to take you out for ur birthday…..where are we gonna go?......Krystal’s!!!!!.....and a slurpee from 7-11!!...lmao!!...you know I am kidding…let me know when you free…..I wont be free for a few weeks but hey, rain checks work!!!...........
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
Well, in 7 days, I will be headed to Reno for a show…..didn’t think I was going to go but now it looks like a reality…..its weird how I don’t get excited for a lot of things….but I do get extremely nervous…….for most of my events….I guess it’s the anticipation of if the crowd will enjoy themselves…….from open mics, to the black history program, to any endeavor…at the end of the day, I wanna be memorable…and if that doesn’t happen, I feel like I did not complete the mission the way it should have been…….
Not much to talk about today…..or so I say……its funny how once you start using your mind to think, other things come out……and I think that’s one of the blessings of writing everyday…to be able to open a channel of my mind that I know I wouldn’t if I didn’t use this blog as a platform to vent……it is great to go back and read a lot of what I have written….sometimes…..sometimes I have to drink truth serum and take a look at myself……although I may write a lot of meaningful things, I have to be mindful to practice what I preach……and it is hard….especially living in this world…..of course, I am no saint……I do try everyday to be a better person than I was yesterday…..some days I succeed…and some days I ask what the heck is wrong with me……I guess that’s the price of humanity……
To reflect on myself is a good thing though……when I was younger, I never thought any cared for me…..I lived in a “dog eat dog” state of mine……growing up in Flint, you pretty much had to…..I had my grandparents, but once I left the walls of Harriet Street, there was no guarantee I would make it home that night…..of course I had my hand in the hood cookie jar…….my mission was to be like the big dogs of the world…with no financial complications and all the power and clout I could muster……my dream was not to be someone of purpose, but someone with power…..
Moving to Mississippi, I felt I had an advantage over my peers….growing up in what I considered a fast pace and metropolitan lifestyle, I was not accustomed to the homely nature of the South……there was this hospitality that I was ignorant to………a realm of graciousness that was not becoming of my disposition…..I was eager to stay on my pedestal….the “ I am better than you” mentality was easily displayed in classes, card games, smoking, shopping, and anything else I could think of…..slowly though, being so isolated started to wear on me…….I wanted to be appreciated in someone other than myself eyes….but of course, I had too much pride to articulate this…..through an unsuccessful marriage and moving to Texas, I gut my wall back up…….its better to stay guarded than to be hurt……tears were for the weak….its better not to show my weakness to anyone because they could use it against me………..
Here I am, 12 years after my original migration, a total shell of my former self…..its crazy how through all the trials and tribulations, I still attempted to maintain a hardness about me……but the growth that I have seen within me only came out once I realized it was okay to share my feelings…still, I am not good at it…and may never be for fear of getting hurt……but its okay to tell someone that I care about them now…its cool to appreciate others for the things they do for me….its okay to reach out for help when I am weak….I used to think I was going to die a lonely old man…..no one would even know I was gone for a few days or weeks……I know I have people that love me and I have to show them that same respect…..its harder for me than what you think……and not because I don’t care…I have been used to disappointing people when they become attached…whether it was a girl, teammates, family, or friends…….it became acceptable and a protocol in my eyes…….get close, have fun, become disappointed, become distant again……
I am here to tell you….if God wanted us to be alone, he wouldn’t make babies……don’t allow your stubbornness to restrict the blessings of people in your life…whether right, wrong or indifferent, people are placed in your life for a reason….some people are in my life to help me stay on the straight and narrow…not to be a friend……everyone you meet wont tell you sweet music…some of it is designed to make you a better person……thank you for all that you guys do to help me become a better me……I am prepared more than ever to walk across that bridge to success with all of you on my back…..the burdens I thought were too heavy to lift are becoming a memory…and that pride I used to have, has disintegrated to humbleness…..
Well I won’t continue to be long winded…hopefully; you all get the point…thank you for molding me……
Shout outs to my girl Necole…..happy birthday big eyes…love you so much…guess now I have to take you out for ur birthday…..where are we gonna go?......Krystal’s!!!!!.....and a slurpee from 7-11!!...lmao!!...you know I am kidding…let me know when you free…..I wont be free for a few weeks but hey, rain checks work!!!...........
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
DEATH AT A FUNERAL?.....HE STILL OWE ME MONEY!!!
Wow….it’s Wednesday already…how are you doing today folks?.....I am doing a lot better…went to sleep with a headache and woke up with the same darn headache……needless to say I got to work late….about an hour and a half late….but I did call in so I wouldn’t get reprimanded…..and the boss I called didn’t come in until 12…..smart ole me…….but they cant say I didn’t call at least……I guess I love these weeks where we don’t have to work on Monday’s due to the holiday……even though I did, its still making the week go by pretty fast………
THERE WILL BE NO ROLLS ROYCE TONIGHT!!!......I REPEAT, THERE WILL BE NO ROLLS ROYCE TONIGHT!!.........
Yeah I know….bummer…..but this is the life of entertainment…ups and downs…..growing pains…..do I know if I will be hosting another open mic in the future?......no……and in some regard, I am not that upset…….I think I needed to take a break…..it does give me an opportunity to look at the competition a little closer and not just hear say…….working consistently at one spot can sometimes place you in a bubble…you cant see what’s going on around you…..and if you don’t know what you are up against, you can lose sight of your goal…….so for me, I am going to prepare for this yard sale this weekend and the Groove Session Saturday night…I hope to see you all there!!.........
What is up with folks bringing their kids into the workplace?......not only is it dangerous but I also this its not necessary…..its crazy to me that people would want to parade their child around people here……letting folks touch and hold your kid….getting all up in their face and treating the child like a pit bull…….call me old fashion but I think its inappropriate….also, if I cant get in the building without a badge to work, why should they be allowed to come up here just to walk around and distract the work progress?.......
You know, throughout my day, I think of so many life lessons that I face…..I am usually so eager to write them all down but for some reason, I never do….its usually because I am actually in the act of doing something and I try to remember my topics….but I don’t…..until after I blog…….
But I was discussing something with my co-workers earlier that I do remember…..we were talking about losing and finding things……this morning when I called in, I expected to be at work no later than 9…..I figured I could wake up around 8:30, get dressed and get to work on time…needless to say that didn’t happen…..I woke up by 9, and hurried to get ready for work…….now, I’m dressed, badge on, and a bottle of water to drink on my way to work…….I walk outside my house, lock my door and go to my vehicle……I DON’T HAVE MY KEYS!!!.....no biggie, I go back in the house and look for them……..I couldn’t find them…now I had them not even 8 hours ago when I came home last night……they weren’t in my pockets….they were not on the table or my couch that I sit on……I scrambled trying to hurry so I wouldn’t be later than I was……then I got frustrated…..I stopped, looked around and bam!!.....there they were on the floor next to the door…….in all that haste, I didn’t think to look on the ground to see my keys…I picked them up and hurried off to work……….
How many times do we scramble find something when the answer is right there in front of us……we look in all the wrong places, thinking that “possibly”, it could be here……and we know better…I know times where I have misplaced my keys and I am looking in the bathroom for them…I know darn well its not there……..and we have a tendency to live like that…….we wonder why our destiny, ministry, job, or family, is not taking off like we think it should….where are you looking?..........why doesn’t she like me the way I like her…..where are you looking?........why my obligations are not being prioritized and carried out properly?.......where are you looking?.........if we want to find the key to get us from point A to B in our lives, we must look in the appropriate place…….
And another thing that happens…sometimes…….we even get distracted…we begin to look for one thing…find something else….and forget what we were looking for in the first place…..I was looking for my keys this morning and found my Best of Mr. Perfect DVD set….now if I didn’t have to go to work, I probably would have put it in and watched some of it…….luckily for me, I knew what was most important at the time……but how many times have I been guilty of letting distractions take me from my destiny…….excess detours will lead you to a longer journey….and in some cases, uncomfortable journeys…….even when I am driving down the street, I may turn into a restaurant instead of waiting at the light…now by the time, I get to the other side of the restaurant, the adjacent light turns green and I still have to wait…….ugh!!!!.........
Lets not be so impatient that we miss what is right in front of us……its our blessing and that’s why it is there……and then we get upset and frustrated because we cant find what we are looking for…….ask yourself…..where are you looking??.........
Well I am about to exit, stage left……I love yall…..I really do……it is so comforting the feedback I get from you all………some days, I really don’t want to write….I feel like I have nothing to converse about……but then I think that the reason I write is not because of me…..some of you are getting touched and I am learning a lot by putting my life under a microscope…no I wont always be right in my opinions……..I wont always be accepted for my comments….by now, I actually expect someone to write me and criticize something I write…oh well….that means it is having its purpose……..
Shout outs to my man Brian Mullins…..he hipped me onto a great networking opportunity on Monday and I just want him to know how much I appreciate it……you know, you don’t have to talk to someone everyday for you to be cordial….or helpful…….it is people like him that makes what I do worth it and I want to thank you so much fam……you are an angel on this Earth………
Love yall!!!!!
Church!!!!
THERE WILL BE NO ROLLS ROYCE TONIGHT!!!......I REPEAT, THERE WILL BE NO ROLLS ROYCE TONIGHT!!.........
Yeah I know….bummer…..but this is the life of entertainment…ups and downs…..growing pains…..do I know if I will be hosting another open mic in the future?......no……and in some regard, I am not that upset…….I think I needed to take a break…..it does give me an opportunity to look at the competition a little closer and not just hear say…….working consistently at one spot can sometimes place you in a bubble…you cant see what’s going on around you…..and if you don’t know what you are up against, you can lose sight of your goal…….so for me, I am going to prepare for this yard sale this weekend and the Groove Session Saturday night…I hope to see you all there!!.........
What is up with folks bringing their kids into the workplace?......not only is it dangerous but I also this its not necessary…..its crazy to me that people would want to parade their child around people here……letting folks touch and hold your kid….getting all up in their face and treating the child like a pit bull…….call me old fashion but I think its inappropriate….also, if I cant get in the building without a badge to work, why should they be allowed to come up here just to walk around and distract the work progress?.......
You know, throughout my day, I think of so many life lessons that I face…..I am usually so eager to write them all down but for some reason, I never do….its usually because I am actually in the act of doing something and I try to remember my topics….but I don’t…..until after I blog…….
But I was discussing something with my co-workers earlier that I do remember…..we were talking about losing and finding things……this morning when I called in, I expected to be at work no later than 9…..I figured I could wake up around 8:30, get dressed and get to work on time…needless to say that didn’t happen…..I woke up by 9, and hurried to get ready for work…….now, I’m dressed, badge on, and a bottle of water to drink on my way to work…….I walk outside my house, lock my door and go to my vehicle……I DON’T HAVE MY KEYS!!!.....no biggie, I go back in the house and look for them……..I couldn’t find them…now I had them not even 8 hours ago when I came home last night……they weren’t in my pockets….they were not on the table or my couch that I sit on……I scrambled trying to hurry so I wouldn’t be later than I was……then I got frustrated…..I stopped, looked around and bam!!.....there they were on the floor next to the door…….in all that haste, I didn’t think to look on the ground to see my keys…I picked them up and hurried off to work……….
How many times do we scramble find something when the answer is right there in front of us……we look in all the wrong places, thinking that “possibly”, it could be here……and we know better…I know times where I have misplaced my keys and I am looking in the bathroom for them…I know darn well its not there……..and we have a tendency to live like that…….we wonder why our destiny, ministry, job, or family, is not taking off like we think it should….where are you looking?..........why doesn’t she like me the way I like her…..where are you looking?........why my obligations are not being prioritized and carried out properly?.......where are you looking?.........if we want to find the key to get us from point A to B in our lives, we must look in the appropriate place…….
And another thing that happens…sometimes…….we even get distracted…we begin to look for one thing…find something else….and forget what we were looking for in the first place…..I was looking for my keys this morning and found my Best of Mr. Perfect DVD set….now if I didn’t have to go to work, I probably would have put it in and watched some of it…….luckily for me, I knew what was most important at the time……but how many times have I been guilty of letting distractions take me from my destiny…….excess detours will lead you to a longer journey….and in some cases, uncomfortable journeys…….even when I am driving down the street, I may turn into a restaurant instead of waiting at the light…now by the time, I get to the other side of the restaurant, the adjacent light turns green and I still have to wait…….ugh!!!!.........
Lets not be so impatient that we miss what is right in front of us……its our blessing and that’s why it is there……and then we get upset and frustrated because we cant find what we are looking for…….ask yourself…..where are you looking??.........
Well I am about to exit, stage left……I love yall…..I really do……it is so comforting the feedback I get from you all………some days, I really don’t want to write….I feel like I have nothing to converse about……but then I think that the reason I write is not because of me…..some of you are getting touched and I am learning a lot by putting my life under a microscope…no I wont always be right in my opinions……..I wont always be accepted for my comments….by now, I actually expect someone to write me and criticize something I write…oh well….that means it is having its purpose……..
Shout outs to my man Brian Mullins…..he hipped me onto a great networking opportunity on Monday and I just want him to know how much I appreciate it……you know, you don’t have to talk to someone everyday for you to be cordial….or helpful…….it is people like him that makes what I do worth it and I want to thank you so much fam……you are an angel on this Earth………
Love yall!!!!!
Church!!!!
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