Well…it is Friday great people!!...I didn’t think I was going to write today…I actually told someone I wasn’t going to…but the fact of the matter is, I am sleepy and my work has been completed for quite some time….its been rather hard to work today, promoting this bday party for next week….ARE YOU EXCITED?!!.......you should be....its going to be a spectacular event and I know that you all will thoroughly enjoy yourself….I have been on the hunt for midgets but have yet to come across any that may be available….bummer right?....but who knows what the next week will bring in the world of Spaceship Ohayses…..
You all should have seen the flyer by now….its on twitter, facebook, and I have sent it by email to some….if you have not, I will definitely be sending it out via email….even if I don’t want to…..yahoo is starting to suck but I know this is the passage that we all began this journey on, so I must continue it…..tonight, don’t forget I will be live on Fishbowl Radio with my homie Ms. Nique Nique as we bring you the best in online radio havoc….we are in the grey bowl from 9-11 central standard time…..and Sunday, I will be on www.spindatmusic.com from 6-10 central standard time for Spaceship’s Incredible Sunday Showdown…..and if you have not had a chance to listen to either show, you are missing a treat!!......
So….I feel a change of winds coming on…..I’m approaching the young age of 31 Tuesday and my life is finally reaching a level I have always prayed about…..my life was never easy….but a lot of times, I made it harder….I have never claimed to be a product of my environment or a lost cause….my motto was that I was born alone and I shall die alone….hurt and pain were the only things I could relate to when it came to people…yes, I love to entertain, but to get emotionally attached often left me with a sour taste and a numb feeling….through my marriage, the birth of my daughter, the death of my grandparents and various other milestones in my life, I decided to always keep my feelings close to my hip….for so long, I was the advice column; giving advice to those when in fact, I had no answers for myself…..I felt like Janet Jackson in Why Did I Get Married…….
The lack of smiling was not my true emotion, it was my wall…..I felt there was a certain weakness within me if I allowed happy emotions to show…the majority of folks that surrounded me either were negative, messy, or wanted me to stay in yesterday….instead of always defending myself, I chose to keep this wall up, hoping it would cause a fear to them to establish a relationship with me…the only time I could show elatement was when I was performing……after that, back I go into the cave that was my soul…..now don’t get me wrong, I tried to push through my own wall, only to find myself falling in deeper from the backlash which was my own self-pity….did I know I was internally throwing myself a pity party?....sometimes….did I care?....not one bit…for I felt the safest place for me to be would be within my thoughts, dreams, and emotions……
At the beginning of the year, I decided to find myself…..to love what was and is….to search for that person that others saw but I didn’t…..and here he stands…now, I am happier and more blessed than I can ever remember being….a smile is not unusual now; it is becoming the norm…..frustration of failed decisions are like dew on an oak tree……relationships are growing while opportunities are happening at a fascinating pace…to love thyself is the greatest love next to God and I am thankful that I was allowed to find this peace before it was too late…now, don’t get me wrong….I am still the same Spaceship Ohayses….I still have those tendencies….however, I am learning to channel them and not allow myself to dwell on them…..I remember being called nonchalant a lot just because I didn’t show any emotions…..now I am nonchalant because my emotions are not getting affected the way they used to be….and it’s a beautiful thing…..I feel myself growing’ ready for whatever the world has to offer me and excited about seeing a new day….I feel a rebirth within my soul……..
We all have had our trials and tribulations….growing pains are a part of life just like going to the club, road trips and relationships…..no one is immune to them….how we respond shows the truest testament of our character…..until that final page is done, we always have the chance to write a happy ending…..as many people that influence us, we are the final decision maker in our paths to greatness….no one, and I mean no one will love you like you do…no one will know what it takes for you to be happy like you do…..so now what?....WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT??
Love yall!
Church!
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