HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT......

February 14th…the day where millions of people spend millions of dollars showing their love and affection to their companion/significant other……for many people, usually women, this is their favorite holiday…..the Webster’s dictionary states that Valentine’s Day I “a day for the exchange of tokens of affection”…..so today I give to you…..MY BLOG!!.......lol……this is about as affectionate that I can get on a day like this!!......how are you all doing today??......I hope all is well and that your loved ones gave you everything your heart desired……..for me, its just an average day……a day to give thanks simply for being alive……my Valentine is God…..to whom my love flows unconditionally….no gift I purchase could equate to all the good he has done for me…..

Now most of you know the surface story as to why I don’t like Valentine’s Day…or any holiday for that matter……and if you don’t know, make sure you check out the broadcast of Allure Radio with me and Ms. Nique Nique at allureradio.com……..but the reasons are even deeper than that…..I once said in a blog, you cant love someone unless you love yourself….now, while some may think that giving presents or showing someone you care for them is the purpose of the day, I ask, is it really?......see, for the last few years, I have been in this re-building mode within my soul…..not here to say I don’t love myself, but there have been times where I questioned it…my lifestyle was wild, I was unconscious to the things I was doing and the consequences of said actions…..reckless you can say…my mentally was of that “I don’t give an f” attitude…..I was used to doing things my way, my pace, my style and I accepted that I would never change…..well, its funny how time brings about change and the older I have gotten and the more God has dealt with me, the more I realized that my life was stuck in neutral……and it was my fault……

I am just now opening myself back up to love….yeah, I have done a great job of liking things-music, women, clubs, hobbies, Jayla, and myself included….but I had to ask myself, when was the last time I love something other than my daughter o entertaining…..when was the last time I told myself how much I loved me?....you know when we are in a relationship and the feeling begins to dissipate, we find reasons to not be around that person….we have a shorter fuse…..we pick arguments…and we are not as receptive to their love as in the past…..what do you do when u fall out of love with yourself?....you have no where to run…you cant have private time, or not call yourself for days….you have to deal with it and try to make those changes while continuing to be around yourself….sounds funny? Maybe….the truth is, more people face this issue than we realize and it’s a deficiency many of us don’t have an answer for…..I realized that it truly did start with the man in the mirror…….

So now, I am more focused on loving me…..not beating myself up about tough decisions...I understand the hand I was dealt and instead of dreading it and throwing my cards back in, I play with what I have, hoping to achieve a win…..a lot of things have made me who I am…..I remember a time in my life where I never lost at anything…..now I look at many things as a lost…just because they don’t grant me the things I would hope to gain, does not mean the lessons and the prize is less valuable….life is what you make it….love is the benefit of living a positive life…not love from others; but love from yourself…..nothing in life can take that away as long as you know who you are and are not afraid to hide from this fact……so today, I give myself a Valentine’s present: happiness…….

I think this will be the last blog I send out via email…..I love writing it sending it is becoming a small hassle….and who reads em anyway??...if you are that interested, I have a site to look them up on……not trying to be mean at all….just efficient….especially here at work…..so if you want to read up on what’s going on you can always check out www.spaceshipohayses.blogspot.com ……..until next time!!!

I almost forgot!!....THANK YOU ALL!! I HAVE FINALLY REACHED 1,000 HITS ON THE BLOG SITE!! WHOO-HOO!!....NEXT STOP, 5,000 VIEWS!!

Love yall!!!!



Church!!!