WD-SPACESHIP

Years are fast. I never imagined that the last blog I would write would be my last for almost a year.  The world has changed tremendously for me, and I will do my best to itemize this adventure without pissing off too many people. The question I have though is, “should it matter who I piss off?” In the year I have been gone, I have had a journey that only I was allowed to take. True, there have been many guardians by my side, but the walk has been a singular one. Last December is such a distant memory and yet, as 2013 approaches, I am excited about the things I have coming in store. I missed y'all tremendously.  There were a few times when I attempted to write. I think the day I got fired from my job, the day Operation Hip Hop dropped, and yesterday, the 3 year anniversary of my grandma passing.  For some reason, I deferred on those dates and chose today. I do apologize for my procrastination. It was intentional.

Well, for those that don’t know, I’m a full blown entertainer. Got fired from my job in March; a week before my birthday. And I was honestly relieved. I had asked God to take me from that situation but to make sure I could maintain my financial responsibilities. He has done that and much more.  Just based on this year, my lifelong resolution is to do right by him forever.  I literally saw what he can do if you believe. And believing sometimes can be the hardest thing. Especially to believe in someone we can easily forget about. I think we tend to think we do all of this alone. Promotions, kids, dating, advancements in life- we are not that powerful. We dictate the paths we take, but those paths are only given to us by God. For the first time in my life, I feel I am finally taking the right paths.

Sometimes it’s the simplest things that can change one’s fortunes. For me, it was my thinking. My actions were cool, but I lived with much doubt. Doubt in myself, doubt in my dreams, doubt in my ability to be great. I even think there was a fear to succeed. If I do make it, what next?? I had every excuse not to move to the next level. I didn’t want to charge people that have looked out for me, I was loyal to those that helped me get to where I was, and I don’t want to leave my kids. To me, these were valid points. So why am I doing this if I’m never going to expand my vision?? I can’t be a local joker; I have to succeed.  When I looked at all the investments I have made for this career, I can’t give up now. Once that thought began to process in my brain and the wheels started turning, I began to walk into that destiny. More doors were opening, not because of hook up factors, but because I EARNED them. My focus lessened on the struggle and more on the journey. We look at the circumstance too much in our lives. There are a lot of people living close to that poverty line; it’s simply your outlook and if you will let your circumstance determine your happiness.

Faith with works is dead. You can talk all day about what you gonna do, but what are you really doing?? Are you really putting in the time and effort into your dream? As an artist and a host, I see both sides of the spectrum. Its funny how I hear these cats talk about grinding and hustling but I rarely see you out in the streets. Posting videos and YouTube links on facebook don’t count. And yes, we all have lives and things to do. If that’s the case, STOP RAPPING!.....you are making a mockery of the industry and wasting time for others that really love this.  There were many things people in the industry told me but until I took a grasp of those things, I would never succeed. You have to invest in yourself, you have to create a buzz for yourself, and the music is only part of the business. The more you sew, the more you will reap. It is in your investment into yourself that the benefits will come. How do you gain interest on money if you never put anything in the bank?

So this is what is on my mind now. Greatness. Working and focusing on being the best person I can be and doing it honestly with respect to all those I am involved with. I want to extend a thank you for those that have stood by me this past year. I know I have a handful to work with lol. I’m getting there. You all will be hearing from me again very soon.

 

 

Love Yall!!!!

 

 

Church!!

DON'T LIKE YOU, NEVER HAVE

Dear You:

　

Thank you. For so long, I had been wondering what was wrong with me. It seems like time is flying by and I don’t have one clue on how to fix what I have messed up. That is until last night. Sometimes, we don’t understand why things happen to us. Or why we must take the path that God has chosen for us. It has been my mission to become all I can be, yet somehow, I continue to fight with the demons and inconsistencies that I am accustomed to. I try not to focus on negative much but I do ask myself all the time, “where is this leading?” Last night, you created a passion in me that I have not had since 2009. Yep, that was the year my grandmother passed. And probably the year I achieved the most success of my adult life. 2010 was a year I don’t remember. If someone said I let them down that year, I would not argue. My mind transform into this cave of solitude; I no longer had the “mojo” I once claimed to be the holder of.

Music was my only outlet. Yea, I had Jayla but since didn’t care about who I thought I was. She only cared about me being daddy. And that was fine as long as she was around. Without her in my face, I was a shell of my former self. I became a walking silhouette. I loved music, I loved hearing, breathing, surrounding myself with music but I stopped writing it. I stopped hosting it. I didn’t want to be associated with it under the premise that I had to take a vested interest in it. Music became a friend with benefits. My DJ was gone, my Essential Entertainment family was gone, my motivation was gone. I decided in 2011 to re-dedicate myself to my endeavors of music. I forced myself to stay “in my zone”. I set ground rules and regulations to ensure I did it right this time. I learned alot during my time off that I really didn’t understand until I got back in the game. I became a business man.

The hardest part about this journey was that I did become a little lazy and also dependant on people. Now, it was time for me to do it on my own. Sure, I will always have people to support me, but this was MY dream. This is MY destiny. I got the radio show poppin, started to work on the album a little more, and even started re-appearing at different shows. Over the course of this last year, I have added leading actor, comedian, stage manager, director, sound technician, caterer, and critic to my resume. I always wanted to get back to hosting but I refused to take over for my little bro who is doing his thing with Ja-Roq. I didn’t want to start my own club night because I know how risky and annoying those things could be. Until I realized that that is my calling. Some say I’m stupid for being so transparent and personal with people, knowing they can use that against me or take my words out of context. Oh well. This is me. I’m not perfect. Not even going to try to be anymore. That shit is hard to do!! What I am going to do is work hard on being a better me. And to reach my potential.

Now you may be reading this and asking yourself, “what the hell does any of this have to do with me?” Well, I shall tell you. Because of your snide remarks and and blatant disrespect of the hip hop community last night, you are officially the straw that broke the camel’s back. You are now my motivation. You became the face of everything I work hard to defeat. It’s not about “me” winning; it’s about “us”. And who is “us”? The many artist who are working hard to get their music out there and be heard. The artist that just want to be appreciated for their craft. The ones that want real talk and not just a fake ass gangsta taking them for granted. See, I have seen plenty of people like you, swearing you for the streets. But in reality, you just trying to line your pockets so that the streets can pay your fee. You don’t have a clue about the heart and soul of this music thing. The beat of every one of these underground artist goes through my veins and I will not allow wack people to deter them from their dreams. See, what you fail to realize about me is that I am smarter than you know. I’m methodical. I been doing this so long, I got tired. Now, I have a reason. I will not let you destroy Dallas hip hop. I will never judge you but I also can see what is not good for me. Some things, I have learned to stay away from.

Now I do understand every one will not hear my message. Some people that do hear it, will still be drawn to you and its not because they don’t know any better. It’s just that is all they are comfortable with. So don’t be surprised if less and less people want you in their presence. If someone sees or hears you, don’t get mad if they tune you out- it’s the nature of the beast. Rap, go somewhere. You have hurt too many of my people and its time you died a quick death. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make you and your kind a thing of the past.

　

Love Always,

　

S.O.T.I