Tis the season!!.....hola folks…I hope that this holiday has brought you all much cheer……2011 is quickly approaching and while many have resolutions that they hope not to break within the first week, I’m going to simply work on making each day of my life better than the last…..Christmas was Christmas of course, and now its time to look forward to another calendar year of life…..I will make an honest attempt next year, to get back on these blogs like I used to…its hard when your life is so boring now….but I do miss you guys….and when I do blog, I usually get such great feedback!!........
***BREAKING NEWS!!!!*** JUST GOT A CALL CONFIRMING HOSTING AND PERFORMING AT A CONCERT FOR SUPER BOWL!!!......GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME!!.......
Hopefully, I can get the band to play if applicable……this is very exciting news to me….I pray everything goes well in this endeavor and a lot of you can come out and see me rock the show…..more details to come!!........
Its crazy how I sit here so many days contemplating retirement……even at the young age of 30, God has blessed me to do so many things…..some successful, while others were learning experiences…..I have tried hard to hold on to the fact that I am touching someone’s life and the things I do are not in vain……there are days when my conviction is weak…..times when I feel the fight is doing more harm than good on my spiritual, emotional, and professional journeys…then there is that subtle reality check……..
Today is Mr. John Rhymes’ birthday…..this is the man that I owe my life to….as a mentor, he was the first adult I can remember that loved me in spite of……even when I was constantly getting kicked out of school, he didn’t scold me like most…..but don’t take that as soft….he just forced me to think about more than the streets…..and I have never been as defiant as more young men in the hood…my grandmother, regardless of our relationship, did not allow me to buck up against her or call her out her name…….I simply left home thinking I could make it by myself…..well, I always had Mr. Rhymes in my corner……
I called him today to wish him happy birthday…I haven’t talked to him in a year and after about the 2nd month of no communication, I felt so guilty, I still didn’t call for fear of hearing disappointment in his voice…yet, when I heard from him today, he sounded excited like it was him that owed me something…all the trepidation was instantly gone…..we talked about what he has been up to and lately, he told me, he has been substituting at an alternative school…now, Mr. Rhymes is retired….he worked for the school system in Flint for a long time…..things happen and he ended up in a classroom…..the point of it all is, the kids and teachers appreciate him…..for everything he has done, he is still touching lives…..his glass half full mentality is infectious even 13 years later after I graduated high school…..and you could hear how humble he was in his voice……..
I don’t know how much longer I have in this industry…..as I mentioned, there are a lot of times that I feel its time to stop…..become regular……in these past few months where shows and opportunities have lessened, I have enjoyed it……but I have gotten really lazy and lax…I still go out, network, make music, and things of that sort…but not like I used to…..and not being a blessing to people bothers me…..its very hard for me to be unimportant…..I strive on making change….I want to make changes in the world……I pride myself on being the best person I can for as many people as I can….and when I am neutral, I have a hermit mentality…I realized, that until that final date, I will do my best to be my best…..
This is my resolution, of sorts…….to never stop being a blessing…to never get too weary to help others….to let my selfishness and bitterness die and the presence of the Lord shine in all my endeavors…..I will not stop, I can not stop….at this moment in my life I feel like a car getting a new engine….no, the old one was not completely dead, but before that happens, my mechanic will place a new engine inside me…..if he does not complete the work, the car cant move…..it has absolutely no value….so I have to get fixed so that I can run smoother…..and help people travel from one place in their lives to the next….after all, I am Spaceship Ohayses!!.......
Well I’m going to get out of here…once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. RHYMES….I love you and I thank you for all that you have done for me….I know without you in my life, I would not be where I am……God Bless you my friend…..
Church!!!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
SAM'S CLUB PORTION OF FATE.....
Its 11:29…..I got me a mocha frappe in my hand…and I decided to write…..how are you all doing?.....I am good…very good right now……to those that are reading for the first time, welcome….to those that have rode with me on this journey for nearly two years, hello……..realistically, I don’t have a clue what to talk about tonight……but I will shortly…..motivation to the left of me……I guess the sole purpose of this blog is to let you all know I am alright…..God has been good to me….and I am anticipating great things in 2011……..dang, 11 years after the world was gonna end?!..........that’s a long time……
Just performed at Kwanzaa Fest this past Saturday…..it was one of the larger crowds, I have had the privilege of performing in front of…..I enjoyed every minute of it…..in my mind, it was a big time venue…..it was a chance to meet new people, interact with local favorites and legends, and get some exposure on a bigger Dallas level…..it helped me to realize that maybe I’m not done yet…..maybe I can get the consumers to respect and want my music…..performances have been so sporadic the past six months, it has been very hard to gauge my audience……but I’m working on it…….
Got a show Christmas Eve……I know that’s a busy time for a lot of people…but if you get the chance, come on out…..it’s at TI Blvd……very special guest will be in the building….I will be hosting as well as performing…..its only 5 bucks…..I think…I will get you details in the upcoming days……
I have finally decided that Act A Fool will be my first single from the album…..I know what you thinking….the album has been out over a year and you just decided on your lead single…..yep…..those are the breaks when It comes to music…..on a tangent, I have learned so much about the business side of this game in the last year, while possibly performing the least in over 3 years……you truly got to have your ducks in a row…..its hard releasing an album when you don’t have one precise song that people can identify you with……yeah, some folks know some songs….I need to get as many people as possible to know this one song……so, this is what we are doing…..
IF YOU ARE READING THIS...NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE….CITY, STATE, COUNTRY……YOU CAN TEXT SPACESHIP OHAYSES “ACT A FOOL” TO 51045 and 3145….it will take you less than a minute to do…..and if you want to hear the song, google me…or go to www.reverbnation.com/spaceshipohayses ....as a matter in fact, I encourage you to…..
I think that is part of the issue I fight within my spirit……not knowing if you know….it’s crazy how we support the things we want….and the truth is, without fans, I am nothing….but have u taken the time to check out the music….seriously?.....we listen to Short Bus Shorty….and Antoine Dodson…..and anything else deemed hilarious…..I, on the other hand, can’t get people I personally know to simply check something out and tell others…..not getting into a pity party here either…its facts….some days I wonder if I am just conjuring up my greatness in music…..and then I have people tell me how they like my music…..but who do they tell…the buck stops with them….I have been at clubs where people come up to me and want a particular song played…..are there people out there asking the DJ does he have Spaceship Ohayses??....am I simply taken for granted because I am not a big name now?.....how many times has my CD been played in people’s vehicles, homes, events?......this is the realistic stance I have to take concerning my artistry……
I have contemplated retiring on many occasions…sometimes, it’s just not worth it……there are plenty days where the risk outweighs the reward simply because I look at what is…..my grandfather taught me never to be a beggar, but am I doing enough?......am I convincing enough to have you take a chance on me?......or am I fighting a fight I can’t win?......is the truth, that I am not as great as I think or has my time passed me by?......I can only make so many sacrifices for my daughter until I realize I have nothing left to give to this industry…….
I look at some of the relationships I have made over this time frame and while some people say they want to be within my circle….in whatever facet…how can I accept that statement knowing you only want to be friends with the man behind Spaceship Ohayses……it’s a package deal here folks…..and no matter who you are, why would u associate yourself with people who don’t support your dream?....I have enough facebook friends..probably too many…..had enough females that just wanted to cut….here, buy a ringtone or something……it baffles me how some just wanna lay and wait to see if I will sink or swim….you mean to tell me you know me but don’t even know a title of one of my songs?...that’s impossible to fathom simply because everyone knows this is my life……
I do think about how many people will come around when God does bless me…….I pray my attitude changes by then….
I think about my mom and other members of my family that will finally forgive me for past sins…..
And to the ladies that didn’t believe in me……or didn’t want to because Lil Wayne is their favorite rapper…….
Sorry folks……some people can tell you that they don’t care what others think about them…but as an entertainer, I do……if you don’t like my brand of entertainment, what am I doing it for?......if you don’t feel the urge to use the simplest for of advertisement; word of mouth, what does that really say about your position on my craft……every ball player doesn’t make it to the NBA….and some of them have been pretty good…..so sooner or later, I may have to accept my fate……I won’t feel defeated…I have tried my hardest to bring to you something good….something different…..something timeless……and all I can do is try…..I have experienced great things along my journey in music……and loved every minute of it…….but the facts remain….if no one is asking for my music, why should a DJ play it?.......if no one is trying to buy it, why should anyone sell it?.......and if no one is listening to it, why should I record it?.........
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!!
Just performed at Kwanzaa Fest this past Saturday…..it was one of the larger crowds, I have had the privilege of performing in front of…..I enjoyed every minute of it…..in my mind, it was a big time venue…..it was a chance to meet new people, interact with local favorites and legends, and get some exposure on a bigger Dallas level…..it helped me to realize that maybe I’m not done yet…..maybe I can get the consumers to respect and want my music…..performances have been so sporadic the past six months, it has been very hard to gauge my audience……but I’m working on it…….
Got a show Christmas Eve……I know that’s a busy time for a lot of people…but if you get the chance, come on out…..it’s at TI Blvd……very special guest will be in the building….I will be hosting as well as performing…..its only 5 bucks…..I think…I will get you details in the upcoming days……
I have finally decided that Act A Fool will be my first single from the album…..I know what you thinking….the album has been out over a year and you just decided on your lead single…..yep…..those are the breaks when It comes to music…..on a tangent, I have learned so much about the business side of this game in the last year, while possibly performing the least in over 3 years……you truly got to have your ducks in a row…..its hard releasing an album when you don’t have one precise song that people can identify you with……yeah, some folks know some songs….I need to get as many people as possible to know this one song……so, this is what we are doing…..
IF YOU ARE READING THIS...NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE….CITY, STATE, COUNTRY……YOU CAN TEXT SPACESHIP OHAYSES “ACT A FOOL” TO 51045 and 3145….it will take you less than a minute to do…..and if you want to hear the song, google me…or go to www.reverbnation.com/spaceshipohayses ....as a matter in fact, I encourage you to…..
I think that is part of the issue I fight within my spirit……not knowing if you know….it’s crazy how we support the things we want….and the truth is, without fans, I am nothing….but have u taken the time to check out the music….seriously?.....we listen to Short Bus Shorty….and Antoine Dodson…..and anything else deemed hilarious…..I, on the other hand, can’t get people I personally know to simply check something out and tell others…..not getting into a pity party here either…its facts….some days I wonder if I am just conjuring up my greatness in music…..and then I have people tell me how they like my music…..but who do they tell…the buck stops with them….I have been at clubs where people come up to me and want a particular song played…..are there people out there asking the DJ does he have Spaceship Ohayses??....am I simply taken for granted because I am not a big name now?.....how many times has my CD been played in people’s vehicles, homes, events?......this is the realistic stance I have to take concerning my artistry……
I have contemplated retiring on many occasions…sometimes, it’s just not worth it……there are plenty days where the risk outweighs the reward simply because I look at what is…..my grandfather taught me never to be a beggar, but am I doing enough?......am I convincing enough to have you take a chance on me?......or am I fighting a fight I can’t win?......is the truth, that I am not as great as I think or has my time passed me by?......I can only make so many sacrifices for my daughter until I realize I have nothing left to give to this industry…….
I look at some of the relationships I have made over this time frame and while some people say they want to be within my circle….in whatever facet…how can I accept that statement knowing you only want to be friends with the man behind Spaceship Ohayses……it’s a package deal here folks…..and no matter who you are, why would u associate yourself with people who don’t support your dream?....I have enough facebook friends..probably too many…..had enough females that just wanted to cut….here, buy a ringtone or something……it baffles me how some just wanna lay and wait to see if I will sink or swim….you mean to tell me you know me but don’t even know a title of one of my songs?...that’s impossible to fathom simply because everyone knows this is my life……
I do think about how many people will come around when God does bless me…….I pray my attitude changes by then….
I think about my mom and other members of my family that will finally forgive me for past sins…..
And to the ladies that didn’t believe in me……or didn’t want to because Lil Wayne is their favorite rapper…….
Sorry folks……some people can tell you that they don’t care what others think about them…but as an entertainer, I do……if you don’t like my brand of entertainment, what am I doing it for?......if you don’t feel the urge to use the simplest for of advertisement; word of mouth, what does that really say about your position on my craft……every ball player doesn’t make it to the NBA….and some of them have been pretty good…..so sooner or later, I may have to accept my fate……I won’t feel defeated…I have tried my hardest to bring to you something good….something different…..something timeless……and all I can do is try…..I have experienced great things along my journey in music……and loved every minute of it…….but the facts remain….if no one is asking for my music, why should a DJ play it?.......if no one is trying to buy it, why should anyone sell it?.......and if no one is listening to it, why should I record it?.........
Love yall!!!!
Church!!!!
Monday, December 6, 2010
THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE.....
Well, today is the day…..December 6, 2010 marks the one year anniversary of the passing of my grandmother…..today, as I look back on the past year, I wonder if she is looking down smiling on me……and I wonder if she is proud of her grandson…..throughout my life, I have been nothing less than a hard wall, distancing myself from anyone who truly cares and try to get close…actually, anything…..my feelings and emotions included….I always justify feelings as distractions from truth…..sometimes we don’t want the truth; we want comfort…..and to those that know me, understand me…and those that don’t or are attempting to get to know me, I may seem too straight forward…too blunt….to nonchalant…..an too emotionless…..I realized today that, while trying to be a defender of truth and such an honest guy, I have completely been lying to myself……I have no earthly idea who I am or what I want anymore……and for this truth, I am deeply saddened………
As much as I don’t converse about relationships, I do want to be loved……and then I tell myself that maybe…just maybe….I don’t know how to accept love……the problem is not me loving…..the wall that I have is not designed to get me in…..its purpose is to keep others out……and throughout my life, I have experienced reasons for this happening…..the great thing about my grandmother during the final years of her life, was that she finally accepted me for who I was……some people might think that is not a big deal but in my life….in my family, I was never accepted by those my senior……I was always the boy, people were waiting to fuck up so that they could say “we told you so”……I have been gone from home since 1998……rarely coming back……they were no college updates, no “how are you doing”, “what are you doing”, or “we are proud of you”……not even when I got married was my family excited……it was more trepidation of how long will it last……that played a major factor in trying to make it work for me……but shortly after my grandfather passed away, my grandmother and I began to mend our relationship…..(now let me say this: the reason our relationship was scarred was two fold…..more conscious harm was done on my part…I was the cause for a lot of this and my backlash probably made it impossible for my grandmother to do these things earlier…..as kids, sometimes, we always think we are right…I was no exception)…we would converse more frequently…laugh during our talks…..and she would ask questions about my life, Jayla, my music…even asked when I was coming home to visit!!.......it put a smile on my face that I could call my grandmother and she would sound like she missed me…….it really made me push to be a better man…….
And then last year….when she passed, I felt a piece of me stopped…..its like a robot not being completed before the mad scientist dies…..I was close….and now it seems that void has come back….harder….stronger…and taller……there are many days and nights, I just long for her advice…..whether I want to hear it or not……days when I just needed her laugh….to know she was okay……its so cliché to say she’s in a better place….but selfishly looking, am I?.......I was never the type to give empathetic words or try to put myself in other shoes…..and im glad…it kills me how some people think its gonna be okay….and how I just have to cope…..duh!! do I really have a choice…..and even with that statement, I do appreciate the care and also see my wall…..I haven’t coped….don’t know if I have truly dealt with it…….life without her is so different…..it used to be easy not to talk to family members because I knew if I talk to my granny, everyone would know how I am doing……now, I wonder sometimes if my family even knows if I am alive…….
I was just learning how to love…and I was learning how to let love……now I find myself losing in this category once more….that word, love….is thrown around so much but the definition and actions of that 4 letter word is so powerful….when you tell someone you love them, you should mean it……not conditional…not half way….and the definition of your love should be confirmed……nowadays, love is a confusing state of being for me…..what should I love and who should I love…..if love is something that you have never been around, how can you identify it……how do you justify it……and how do react if it leaves……I know there are people that love me…..but why?.....and why should I trust it?.......I have been left in the cold more than I would like so why should I open my heart….why should I believe the word love even exist except in relation to God……his is the only love that unconditional…
each day that passes, I miss you more grandma…..each day that passes, you are appreciated more for you effort to love me….and for the comfort I felt in loving you and allowing you do your job as a parent….it was harder than you can imagine….or maybe not….I pray to see your face again….I know you and granddad up in heaven chillin, probably playing pokeno watching Benny Hinn, laughing at the good times…..and for that I am grateful……..I do indeed love you…..and I am sorry I didn’t learn how to love you sooner……
But you know what they say…in order to love someone, you have to love yourself first……and the first order of loving yourself is confession……..so, here it is…..
To be continued……….
As much as I don’t converse about relationships, I do want to be loved……and then I tell myself that maybe…just maybe….I don’t know how to accept love……the problem is not me loving…..the wall that I have is not designed to get me in…..its purpose is to keep others out……and throughout my life, I have experienced reasons for this happening…..the great thing about my grandmother during the final years of her life, was that she finally accepted me for who I was……some people might think that is not a big deal but in my life….in my family, I was never accepted by those my senior……I was always the boy, people were waiting to fuck up so that they could say “we told you so”……I have been gone from home since 1998……rarely coming back……they were no college updates, no “how are you doing”, “what are you doing”, or “we are proud of you”……not even when I got married was my family excited……it was more trepidation of how long will it last……that played a major factor in trying to make it work for me……but shortly after my grandfather passed away, my grandmother and I began to mend our relationship…..(now let me say this: the reason our relationship was scarred was two fold…..more conscious harm was done on my part…I was the cause for a lot of this and my backlash probably made it impossible for my grandmother to do these things earlier…..as kids, sometimes, we always think we are right…I was no exception)…we would converse more frequently…laugh during our talks…..and she would ask questions about my life, Jayla, my music…even asked when I was coming home to visit!!.......it put a smile on my face that I could call my grandmother and she would sound like she missed me…….it really made me push to be a better man…….
And then last year….when she passed, I felt a piece of me stopped…..its like a robot not being completed before the mad scientist dies…..I was close….and now it seems that void has come back….harder….stronger…and taller……there are many days and nights, I just long for her advice…..whether I want to hear it or not……days when I just needed her laugh….to know she was okay……its so cliché to say she’s in a better place….but selfishly looking, am I?.......I was never the type to give empathetic words or try to put myself in other shoes…..and im glad…it kills me how some people think its gonna be okay….and how I just have to cope…..duh!! do I really have a choice…..and even with that statement, I do appreciate the care and also see my wall…..I haven’t coped….don’t know if I have truly dealt with it…….life without her is so different…..it used to be easy not to talk to family members because I knew if I talk to my granny, everyone would know how I am doing……now, I wonder sometimes if my family even knows if I am alive…….
I was just learning how to love…and I was learning how to let love……now I find myself losing in this category once more….that word, love….is thrown around so much but the definition and actions of that 4 letter word is so powerful….when you tell someone you love them, you should mean it……not conditional…not half way….and the definition of your love should be confirmed……nowadays, love is a confusing state of being for me…..what should I love and who should I love…..if love is something that you have never been around, how can you identify it……how do you justify it……and how do react if it leaves……I know there are people that love me…..but why?.....and why should I trust it?.......I have been left in the cold more than I would like so why should I open my heart….why should I believe the word love even exist except in relation to God……his is the only love that unconditional…
each day that passes, I miss you more grandma…..each day that passes, you are appreciated more for you effort to love me….and for the comfort I felt in loving you and allowing you do your job as a parent….it was harder than you can imagine….or maybe not….I pray to see your face again….I know you and granddad up in heaven chillin, probably playing pokeno watching Benny Hinn, laughing at the good times…..and for that I am grateful……..I do indeed love you…..and I am sorry I didn’t learn how to love you sooner……
But you know what they say…in order to love someone, you have to love yourself first……and the first order of loving yourself is confession……..so, here it is…..
To be continued……….
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