BROKEN WATER IN A CRACKED SWIMMING POOL

Oh what a day!!!.....what a day, what a day!!........how are you all doing on this fine Tuesday afternoon…..hope you all are staying warm……we have snow here in Dallas……again…..in some places…..I haven’t seen any though……but it does feel like on of those days…….im at work, ready to go….but so far, this hasn’t been a good week for me getting here on time…..been late both days…now you know that doesn’t look good for the #1 draft pick…..I promise to do better the rest of the week……I haven’t been getting a good night sleep……like last night, I didn’t even take a nap when I got off and I still didn’t close my eyes until 4…….and even I know better than that……and tonight, I probably will go to sleep around the same time….do you know why??.........

TONIGHT IT GOES DOWN AT MURPHYS!!.....ROUND 3 OF DJ LADY JA-ROQ’S OPEN MIC SHOWCASE…….9410 WALNUT STREET…ACROSS FROM RICHLAND COLLEGE….DOORS OPEN AT 9….SHOW STARTS AT 10….GET THERE EARLY IF YOU ARE TRYING TO WIN $250!!!!!.........THE HOTTEST OF THE HOT PROVE THEIR WORTH AT MURPHYS EVERY TUESDAY!!!!!......

Have you ever felt like you missed out on a good thing?.....rather it was a job…..a relationship…..a missed opportunity……I am having one of those days……I wonder if it’s the reflection of thirty…….I look back and noticed that I have made great errors in judgment……now I do understand that things happen for a reason…..and all things are for a lesson learned……the hard part I face is, how do you rectify the situation??......I haven’t been the same lately…..don’t know if you can tell through my blogs…..probably because some changes and decisions need to be made in my life….I look back on things and wonder why I allowed them to be this way……is my career where it should be??........I don’t know…..is this where God wants me right now??......how about my relationship with him…and do I care more about what others think about me than Him?.......what about my personal relationships….am I truly being honest about who I want in my life?......and I struggling to keep my sanity amidst of the lies, deceit, back stabbing, and hateful dispositions?.........how strong am I supposed to be??.......

I started writing these blogs to promote myself…..and also to vent about things….see, I have always been accustomed to being the one that doesn’t get rattled……some folks say I am nonchalant…..sometimes too nonchalant for my own good…..I figure everything happens for a reason, so why wreck my brain over it…….now, I am weakening……I feel myself at time succumbing to my own pressures…..I am realizing more and more that I have to not only protect myself, but also, nurture and encourage myself……I used to get frustrated when I felt like no one cared…..growing up, it was family….I got over it…..in college, it was haters and competition…..I got over it…..my ex wife….got over it…..and any “friends” I made here……not a problem……but now its to the boiling point….you know how some people say, “you’re crazy” playing…..well, looking in my mirror…….I maybe heading that way……and answers aren’t coming fast enough…….

I feel like the weight of everyone I have ever met is on my shoulders…..I feel there are still people waiting on my downfall…..sometimes, in my own conceited way, I feel I wont be appreciated until I leave this world…..it has happened before…….every morning I wake up, I know its another day to conquer something…….and if I am not learning, teaching or conquering for that day or an extended period of time, I feel empty…….I don’t get days off…..if I am not accessible, some people go crazy…some would never know…….if I am accessible, there are times when I speak to no one…my existence…meaningless……but at all times, I am supposed to care about others…..I am that out….that last resource…..(sometimes even the first)……….and the glimmer of light…..what happens when my bulb go out???.....whose gonna change it???.........

Okay…I think I have bored you all enough with my therapy session…….I have a quote….its not Rika’s….but something I thought about today………..

If you want to hide something from a black man, put it in a book…….want to hide something from a black woman, put it in her purse.”

As a matter of fact, I found out where Rika had been….IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY!!!!....GO SHAWTY!! IT’S YA BIRTHDAY!!!.......happy bday to you love and I thank you for becoming an intricate part of this blog…..you are sooooooo appreciated………

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!