Wise Words of Spaceship

A FAMOUS NOBODY RELATED TO NOBODY FAMOUS

2011-12-30T10:14:00.000-08:00

Bueno!! It’s almost a new year already!! Wow!! How are you great people doing today? I must say that besides being high as shit right now, I am very blessed. Thankful that each and every one of you are reading this today. For the newbies, this is Wise Words of Spaceship, brought to you by Spaceship Ohayses. Today’s edition will be just a brief recap of this past year, while also looking forward to what 2012 may hold. If you would have told me back in 85 that I would be writing a blog in 2012, I would have called you nuts!! I thought the world was gonna end in 1999 (damn you Prince!). Here I a, fresher than ever, with hopefully some fresh nuggets and wisdom for you to carry forth into the New Year.

I have to say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, this was one of the hardest years of my life in terms of having faith in myself. I don’t think I have ever been in such situations where I doubted myself so often. The great thing about this year was that I got closer to God. Not to the point where I want to be, but closer than I was. I can feel His presence a little more now. You know, there are a lot of people who say they know God and are “religious”, but it’s a totally different thing to recognize when he is in the midst. Growing up into my 20’s, this was something I lacked. I had always had a connection with him, but it was primarily through my grandmother forcing me to go to church. As my spirit became less recognizable to me, I had to ask God, “What is it?” “What do you want from me?” I became more desperate to have his anointing in my life. I realized that after the family turns their back on you, the friends disappear, the fuck buddies migrate somewhere else, and the only person I could depend on was Jesus. Now, I am nowhere near where I want to be; and the journey is hard. I am now recommitted to living as “righteous” as possible. I could never be a guy that forgets my worldly ways as they help me deal with and assist people that are trying to change their lives as well.

I had an album come out. “Operation: Hip Hop”. Well, in my mind at least. I was hoping to have the album out this past summer. Unfortunately, I was not able to complete that task so I am looking forward to having it done by my birthday next year Speaking of which- this year’s birthday bash was off the shackles!! I try to do something different each year in terms of my birthday celebration and this year’s party was nothing shy of a spectacle. I wanna thank each and every person that showed up and showed out. Next year, we are going to do it bigger and better! Definitely be on the look out for the album as it will be something like a classic. And I won’t be talking about the same thing every song.

I’ve started to learn how to love again. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do. One of the most difficult feelings I have had to administer. I have always been a lover- I think. And as many of you know, I have been married. I truly believe that that experience affected me more than I would like to admit and my heart begin to hardened. Over time, instead of focusing on finding someone compatible to me, I was too busy looking at what was wrong in a person (like I’m perfect or some shit). I ruled out folks just because of ideologies didn’t appeal to me. I was quick to anger, quicker to discard, and even quicker to forget. As much as I proclaimed I wanted to be with someone, my actions didn’t show it; and my mind didn’t want to fathom it. Then something clicked. Something inside of me is changing (yes, I do know it has to do with my relationship with Christ) and it’s kind of cool. The only thing I regret is that I have met some awesome women that I may have cheated out of relationships that I know would have been awesome. And for that, I apologize. Kinda. My sister asked me the other day was I scared of my destiny and knowing that God will put an awesome woman in my life #NOMOREHOODRATS. I thought this was a very valid question and one I had to accept and consider. So now, I go into 2012 focused on not only loving myself and my kids, but hopefully my future wife as well. It feels good having feelings again. It’s been a long time.

I am also looking forward to being cast in my first play in a very long time. The play is called “His, Hers, and Mine’s” and will be coming out January 28th at the UNT Auditorium. I am more than excited about it. When I look back on 2011, I have continued my performing, have hosted or co-hosted 4 online radio shows, began my career as a stand up comic, went to Las Vegas and hosted a show there (also performed), and now acting and directing. It’s hard for someone like myself to get down on myself when God does so many great things in my life. *back from tangent* Okay, so starring in this play has allowed me to become a stage manager for another play the writer has. At first, I was kind of bummed because to me, a stage manager is nothing but a glorified errand runner. But the more I prayed about it and thought about it, I became excited. I don’t know much about directing a play and this gives me an opportunity to learn for an actual director and see what they see. I have to accept being a follower in order to be a good leader. If we don’t follow, how can we ever lead? We would never know where we are going. Sitting in rehearsal last night gave me a sense of entitlement and peace that not only can I and will I accept my position but I am excited about it. I pray you all can make it out.

If you want more details, please get at me!! Also if you would like to place an ad in the program for a very inexpensive price, let me know. Promotion opportunities are great!!

Well, I think I am about to go. Its not even 12 and I am so ready to go right now. I love yall so much and I truly wish you and your family a Happy New Year!!

Love Yall!!!

Church!!!

FEE FI FOE....DUMB??

2011-12-13T14:47:00.001-08:00

So, as I sit here at work, I decide I may need to let some things out. It’s been a while since I can remember blogging twice in a week. Don’t exactly know where this blog will take me; all I know is that I am currently full and need to vent. With that being said, HELLO FOLKS!! Welcome to another edition of Wise Words of Spaceship, hosted by me, Spaceship Ohayses the Incredible. I may not be right; I may not be wrong. What I am is me. And I pray that you guys enjoy this journey with me!

Well, I just got over the 2 yr anniversary of my grandmother passing. It seems like only yesterday when I would call home to Michigan and laugh and joke with her. As much as I move forward, I still feel the void. With all my issues, I wish she was still here. When I would call her, I knew I would receive the truth. It may not be what I wanted to hear, but it was what I needed to hear. Sometimes, besides my sister Charita, I miss that. The older I get, the more I appreciate the honesty she bestowed on me. As I travel through life and meet more and more people, I wonder, “What happened to that?” What happened to honesty and the understanding that honesty is not negative? It amazes me how we as a society want people to lie to us and to cater to our insecure emotions. Constructive criticism has been surpassed with an attitude of “it’s not my problem”. We proclaim that “this is my friend”; yet tell everyone within listening distance instead of the person of interest our disposition. A sad state of affairs I think.

Where did we go wrong? As a child, as much as my grandparents disciplined me for lying, I understood the importance of telling the truth. Yes, I may have got a whooping for doing something wrong, but my grandparents made sure I knew that telling the truth was the right thing to do. After all, no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. How we handle those mistakes is what creates our character. Now and days, we throw our inconsistencies under a rug or in a closet, whichever one is closest. We will deny our flaws until we are blue in the face, hoping that the discovery of the truth will become less important as time goes by. Yet, it still lingers. Our word becomes our bond and once we break the bond of our own self respect, we begin to look for it by investigating others’ flaws and situations. Might as well throw rocks since everyone lives in a glass house huh?

Then we have our friends. You know, the ones that want us to go to the clubs with them, call us late at night with advice, and go shopping with us. The one you were with when you met that man/woman of your liking. It amazes me how we can say someone is a friend but as soon as they say something that goes against your mind state (even if you asked for their opinion); we begin to look at them differently. How many times have you heard of seen someone get upset with a friend because of something an associate or bystander tells them? How many friends have dissipated relationships because you ask for their opinion and they give an honest one? We say we want folks in our life that “keep it real”; we forget the rest of that quote in our heads is “keep it real as long as it doesn’t upset me”. It is time for us to stop wanted our egos stroked like young kids playing football and handle the responsibilities of adults and to think like one. No one will ever agree with everything we say, so why are we upset when it happens?

And oh, don’t let me get on relationships!! How many times have you heard a woman say, “just tell me the truth, no matter how much it hurts”? Ummm, are you sure about that? I crack up when a woman ask me a question she KNOWS she doesn’t want my answer to. Like she is trying me. If you choose to put yourself on that limb, be prepared to take the answers people have. All because someone loves you doesn’t mean they will agree with you at all times. To me, that’s what makes people great; the ability to think on their own. The differences we share as humans. If there was 53 billion other Spaceship Ohayses’ in the world, I wouldn’t feel as great as I do. If my woman agreed with everything I said and did, how would she be considered a help-meet? More like an enabler to me. IF a woman stayed with me, cheated on me, and kept feeding me crap, why would I want to stay, or better yet, how could I fix myself and the situation if we wanted to try to make it work?

We need to look in ourselves people- me included. Now is not the time to be weak emotionally and beg that your peers feed into your self absorbed ways. Understand that in life, we all make mistakes and not everyone will agree with the things we do. Be able to take it as well as dish it out. We are all critics of some things, except ourselves. We place our ideals, morals, values, and thoughts on a pedestal when in fact; we are just as simple as the rest of the animals in this kingdom. If we promote better communication- without hostile backlash- we can continue to raise our kids right, get back to neighborhoods being villages, and move closer to all of our ultimate goal- betterment.

I’m just saying.

THIS SUNDAY, YALL COME ROCK WEITH ME!!! TWO SHOWS, ONE NIGHT……IT IS GOING DOWN!!...FIRST I WILL BE PERFORMING AND HOSTING AT THE MOSCATO MUSIC LOUNGE, NIK CEO BIRTHDAY EDITION!! IT STARTS AT 6PM AT CLUB ARNETIC (2826 ELM STRRET IN DEEP ELLUM)…THEN, WHEN I LEAVE THER, I WILL BE HOSTING THE BEST OF THE BEST CONCERT AT EMERALD CITY IN SOUTH DALLAS (ON THE CORNER OF MARTIN LUTHER KING AND ATLANTA)!!....TWO GREAT EVENTS, ONE GREAT ENTERTAINER….ME!!.......

Well, let me get back to work. Just had to vent #OPERATIONHIPHOP

Love yall!!!

Church!!

TIME FOR A CHANGE

2011-12-11T15:23:00.000-08:00

December 11, 2011

4:38pm

Dear You,

I hope to find you in good spirits. Not because this letter was inevitable, but because by the end of this letter, I hope you understand my heart. This is not a letter to give me “a way out”; I prefer the “no argument” routine myself. Through all that we have been through, I realize that I no longer have anything to say. At this point, creating a back and forth discussion with no end would be pointless. So this is my way to say goodbye. And I pray you will digest what I have to say.

They say you can’t change a person. That is true. What do you do when that person changes and those changes are detrimental to our growth? I love you dearly but I am not in love with the person you have become. The one thing that may me come on to you was your grind. You made sure each and every day you did something to be a stranger, wiser, and better person than yesterday. Now, you spend more time watching my Facebook statuses and worried about what I am doing than anything. I don’t do clingy. I hear so many women talk about how they wanna go out with their home girls and still want to have a life when their man is possessive and controlling but with you, you wanna be everywhere I am. I think if they had a Take Your Boo to work day, you would want to come. You make me feel like I am doing something wrong. I remember when we used to have fun together. When we saw each other, it meant something. Somewhere in my soul, I have lost the desire to wake up next to you.

You used to be such a positive person. So I ask myself, “Is it me?” I mean, my intent is not to make you feel less of yourself at any time. I give you access to all of me; mind, body, and soul. I work hard to get you to trust me, and I tell you the truth. Isn’t that what you said you wanted, no matter how much it hurt? I even met your family, something I never do. My wall was willing to be shattered because I knew like no other, you would be my wife. This wasn’t for the short term. In my mind, I had already made the decision to do things I had not done in a while. Even when we were out together, I never gave you an implication that someone was more beautiful than you. So I realized it was your insecurities. No matter what I said, no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, you would never believe you were beautiful because you didn’t believe you were beautiful. Beauty is not skin deep; it starts from within. It seems every time I tried to love you, you would push me away.

It became apparent I was boxed in a corner. We had no future and I didn’t want to lose you. I always prayed that one day, we could get back to how we used to be. Every day, I became frustrated that I couldn’t change you. I felt that was my last chance. I wanted to be loved by you and I wanted to be your hero. Whatever was going on in your life, I wanted to be the one to make it better. But you wouldn’t let me in. There’s a song that says “you have to know when to hold them, know when to fold them”. I have been holding my feelings in for so long I became sick. I became sick of your face, sick of your games, and sick of your depressing nature. In order to love me like I desire, you must love yourself first. I pray that you get things together. Not for me, but for the next person. If not, your destiny is lonely. I love you. No, I am not in love with you, but as your friend, I must tell you this. If you ever need me, I am here. I no longer will be an emotional pedofile; a man loving a child.

Sincerely,

THE END OF THE BEGINNING OF THE END.....

2011-11-20T14:01:00.000-08:00

Anybody home? HELLLLO!!! Wow, my homie told me today I needed to write a blog. I was like, your right. So here I am for your reading pleasure. Kinda feels weird actually writing again. I really don’t know why I don’t write more. I’m on the internet a lot. But it seems my mind is focused on other things, rather its music or playing Slotomania and Cityville. I’m not on the ellipses anymore. I wrote a wrestling blog and the critics ate me alive. And so I agreed with them. It feels different writing like this but I guess it’s something I will have to get used to. Also, this will make my sentences receive a spell check and I can properly write you guys and grammatically correct blog.

The thing that won’t change will be my honesty. Over these past few months, if you have been watching the Incredible Radio Show on Ustream: (http://www.ustream.tv/channel/the-incredible-radio-show) you will know that I have been going through a lot. God has truly been defining himself in my life. I still have many hang ups, many inconsistencies, and many mistakes in my life. I have found a sense of peace, going to church more, and worshipping him. I think that was a problem I had. Even when I did go to church I wouldn’t fellowship in His presence. I would clap and sing along, maybe even scream a Hallelujah at times, but never would allow myself to join in the mist of the Spirit. I’m doing that now. And I love it. With that, comes a place in my soul where I realize that as my life changes, some people will not accept that. Some people will not realize the things I say, while “hurting one’s feelings” is not intentional in their statements, yet a view of realism in this place we call Society. I see more and more of pandering of feelings and cater to other’s emotions that we forget the base principals that make us who we are. We tend to not vocalize our true positions on life with the thinking of “if we can’t say nothing nice, don’t say anything”. Well umm, I do have a voice. And it is not bound by anyone but Him. I think one problem our society has is that neighbors don’t whoop kids anymore. It not only takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to make a real MAN/WOMAN. We tend to try to let things slide too much. And I’m not talking about drama. I’m not discussing a co-worker you despise. I’m talking about life changing things, character and moral flaws, dishonesty and selfishness. Excuse me now if I continue to strike a nerve.

As you may be able to tell, I’m high right now. But that’s a good thing. I tend to open my mind more. Now I know some of you may not agree with that, and I do understand, this is my personal feelings.

Been doing a lot of shows lately. Yes, God has been good. As I venture closer to His word, I am starting to see things from a whole different perspective in this entertainment industry. I used to spend a lot of time mad and introverted when it came to this game. I respected a lot of people but I kept a lot of things to myself. It’s funny because when I think back, a lot of people thought I said things about them or was shooting slugs when that wasn’t even the case. I write a lot of things off the cuff; I really am crazy like that but people don’t believe me. There is no method to my madness. I feel this is the reason I didn’t hang with other artist too much, why I tried to show love without exposing too much off myself, and not panning out with artists or producers. Now, I’m happier. I see things clearer than I did before. The animosity that may be in someone else’s heart I no longer can feel. You can’t feel tension if it has nothing to retract to. Lightning doesn’t start from outta nowhere. If I have a problem with something or someone, I can now say it with loving-kindness. There is no hostility; only truth. I love all the people grinding and really trying to make it. While I may not love, or for that matter like, their music, I do appreciate the grind because I do it too. Everyone will not love my music. If they did, I would be on by now. Had a show on the 13^th of November that was bananas!! Was at Kitty’s Place with DJ Lady JA-Roq on last Tuesday. Had a show at Rack Daddy’s on Friday that turned out to not be a show because of a janky promoter. If you wanna find out what I’m talking about, go to the Facebook. This is not the place to repeat myself. Tonight, I will be at Emerald City in South Dallas so if you don’t have anything to do, ya boy Spaceship Ohayses, the Incredible will be in the building. On next Friday, November 25^th, I will be performing comedy at Club Arnetic for the Artist Explosion Tour. So if you get a chance, come check me out!!......

Well, I just remembered I promise my home girl I would call her when I got out of church. So I love yall, I miss yall, keep my in your prayers.

Love yall!

Church…………………………...(I can do it here!)

I DONT SEE NOTHING WRONG!!!

2011-09-25T15:33:00.000-07:00

What’s good great people?.....yeah, I’m writing again…on a Sunday no less…..but I have time and I miss being able to vent to you all and this seemed like as good of time as any…..lots of things going on for me….and in the world…..and I appreciate those of you that are actually standing by me through thick and thin……so shall I proceed?.......
I’ve been thinking about giving it all up……yea, I said it……..and I don’t feel like I’m quitting……for most of you that know me, understand I am a pretty factual person…..one of my flaws may be that I don’t go off emotion too many times…..as I have taken this journey as an entertainer, I have always proclaimed that there are two jobs that you need to have people supporting you….and those are the President and an entertainer…..I have achieved many successes and have done things I would have never dreamed of……the fact remains though, I’m still not “on”…..yea, I do a lot of things in Dallas……name is recognized….but let’s not trip….im not on any magazine covers or at any awards shows……and yes, it does bother me………I was hoping this talent would allow me never to have my kids struggling like I did growing up……to not have to live check to check……but something is missing…….is it me?.........
I ask myself that a lot because my popularity is limited….i mean, people fucks with me and say they like me…in the end……my numbers don’t show it……I can post about fucking a chick on Facebook and get 20 comments but when I ask someone to check out my music, I can’t even get a like…….and I wonder if I have pigeon holed myself into this situation……being a sexual creature has its advantages…..but what happens when you realize, that’s all someone wants you for?.......that the other piece of you is nothingness to them……I try to be a man of great substance, yet, many people don’t know this side of me……and it’s not like I don’t show it……they just don’t pay attention…..so why am I holding on to the hope that they will support me without ulterior motives??.........
I wish people could see that I mean more good than harm…..my “realness” and being blunt is only a defense to me having to be strong…..i was taught the quickest way to a point is a straight line, so I continue to let my mouth and my brain meet at the same time……when I say how I feel , my intentions are not to hurt….but if someone is going to be hurt in this situation, why must it be me for saying what I feel?......is this scaring people off…..is my tactless nature pushing people who would otherwise be there for me away….have I been too blind to see it?......i ask myself often, “what happened to my great friend?......was it a façade…or was I so selfish that I didn’t recognize the signs of my transgressions?......
Or am I not that hot?......maybe I am looking in the wrong direction……sometimes, we have to understand when our time has passed and we must cope with this reality……I love what I do…there is not many things that bring me joy as entertaining…….but if I cannot bring the masses to see me, I can stick to writing a bunch of posts on Facebook and leave it at that…..many times, I am asked by artist what can they do to become better…it’s a little more difficult when you don’t have the answers for yourself…..
So I am contemplating……I love you guys tremendously…..and I am grateful to have had this hour to dance……maybe, I can get one more dance before the clock strikes 12…….
Now with that said…....IT GOES DOWN EACH AND EVERY MONDAY FOR GAME NIGHT AT HEROES!!! 7402 GREENVILLE AVE, ITS HAPPY HOUR AND FRE TIL 9!!!...$.50 WINGS, $2 DRINKS, AND GAMES!! SPADES, DOMINOES, UNO, MONOPOLY, AND MANY MORE!!....HOSTED BY SPACESHIP OHAYSES AND DJ LADY JA-ROQ, THIS IS YOUR MONDAY NIGHT CHILL SPOT!!.........COME ON OUT AND KICK IT WITH ME JUST ONE TIME I SAY…..YOU WILL BE HOOKED!!........
MAKE SURE YOU LIKE THE FAN PAGE ON FACEBOOK….HAVING GIVEAWAYS, FREE TICKETS, AND MANY OTHER PRIZES….AND I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME?!!

Love yall!!!

Church!!

OOPS I DID IT AGAIN....AND AGAIN...AND AGAIN!!!

2011-08-28T17:50:00.000-07:00

Its funny how time flies…..and I aint even having fun….well, kinda sorta!!.....HOW IS EVERYBODY DOING TODAY?!........i know I know…I miss you guys too!!......and for those that may be reading this for the first time…..and yes I am asking myself why is that……this is the Wise Words of Spaceship…….so many things to talk about….ima try not to get too personal, but hey, it is what it is you know…….the only way I know how to do things is by touching your soul………

BTW, have u checked out The Incredible radio show on Ustream yet?.......umm, what are you waiting for….all you have to do is click here: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/the-incredible-radio-show and you too will be wondering what is going on in my head…..i know a lot of you will be hearing about the show for the first time, but I promise you, it’s must see TV…..working on getting an actual late night talk show based off it…pray for me………

SEPT 12TH…….i will be starting a game night at Heroes Lounge…..doors open at 4……we will be watching the Monday Night Football game and you will be able to play your favorite games such as spades, dominoes, Monopoly, Connect 4,maybe even Twister!!........come on out and kick it with ya boy for the football season!!......drink specials, wing deals, and great music……this event will also be DJ’d by the one and only DJ Lady Ja-Roq!!.........

Speaking of which……she’s bacccccckk!!....DJ Lady Ja-Roq is back to open mic ways live and in effect Tuesdays at Charlie’s off Mockingbird and 35……just go the opposite way of 183 from 35 and you will see it on the right hand side….all artist, fans, supporters, poets, and singers……yall know how Ja-Roq does so go on out there and support her…….

Now I know you may be thinking?....but Ship?.......aren’t you the host…….nope!!...my homie Christy B is the host and she is exceptional……for some reason, some folks don’t like me….but I’m comfortable with that…….i will always love my DJ………..

I have my fan page open for business on Facebook.…go to the Spaceship Ohayses page that has a picture of Ja-Roq and I…..i will be posting most of my events there…..pictures, videos, updates……and if I have weeks opening…..a lot of new things are on the horizon….im excited……and I gots ta be more focused!!.....

Have you ever reached your bottom?....i mean, like really to the point where you felt you had nowhere to turn?.....well I did…..and then something funny happened….i started not to care….and it wasn’t insomuch about not caring about life……but just caring about the circumstance and looking for a result…..for a minute, I was stuck in a rut of the worse kind….a mental rut…..i felt I could do no right…..it consumed me how I would try to do the right thing and end up doing the wrong thing……I felt like a loser and I felt like a quitter….on the surface, I was going everywhere, always smiling, always joking or cracking on someone….but when I got home, I cried….i ask the Lord for answers and told him I would do whatever it took to be right…I am just so tired of struggling……..
There are times when I think he doesn’t hear me……or maybe he’s just tired of answering my idle praise….i once told a family member, “I don’t think he hears me. He never talks back.”…….this is a time when I know he heard me….the funny thing is, I think God puts our prayers in order……even if we pray and ask God for favor, he has billions more asking at the same time….i wonder if he does them in alphabetical order……the most important thing he has given me is a sound mind…..most people think Spaceship Ohayses is crazy; but lately, I truly had been feeling that way…..some of my obstacles are still here….i am far from being comfortable in my life……I am, however, sure that God has brought me to this point for a reason….and I have bent but not yet been broken……I know sometimes we may feel like hope is lost…..i think that’s human nature…..if we look back on our life, we can see that through all situations, we have overcome them and are still living……we made it this far……so what makes us think that the problem we are facing right now or the one in the unforeseeable future with impede us….we must believe and we must have a peace about ourselves…when we panic, we have a tendency to not look at things clearly and in the more optimistic way…..we are overcomers…….
BIG SHOUT OUT TO THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE ESSENTIAL ENTERTAINMENT/ FRONTLINE ENTERTAINMENT FAMILY TLi da Ripper…..i will be doing a feature on him soon so yall can get acclimated with the newest member of Essential Entertainment……..

Okay, I think I’m done…anything else??.......nope!!

Love Yall!!!!!

Church!!!!

DONT TALK, JUST LISTEN (XXX)

2011-05-10T23:35:00.000-07:00

Soooo….I’m here…how are you all doing today?....or this evening…..crazy what makes me blog…..I’ve missed yall…seriously……been working on this album and working on getting my strength and wits back……Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all the mothers….I thought I was gonna blog on Sunday but my day started late and then I have many errands to run…..and to all my Laker haters….SHUT UP!!!...yes I am a realist so I know they quit on each other…I know the Mavericks outplayed them the whole series…..but WE STILL HAVE MORE RINGS THAN YOU!!!..........lol….I know the backlash is coming but who cares…you still have not won a ring…….the album is going great yall…..got a few songs written and recorded…but I want to make sure my sound is right…I want this album/mixtape to be complete..got a lot of great things coming up….and I want you all to continue to pray for me and support in all ways possible….
If you are reading this, then you know how to contact me……so I had to say this..this Saturday, I will be performing live at 2826 Arnetic on Main Street in Deep Ellum…..it is a birthday party and I will be performing with the band One Nite Stand…..now some of you have heard me rock out with a band but if you have not, you should definitely come out and check us out……if you have any questions, CONTACT ME!!....don’t just not come because you say you didn’t know…..lame ass excuses…….
I was talking to a friend tonight and this is the origin of why I am writing……we were talking about how people dance in Dallas…..now don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the type of dances here…or rather, they are quite hilarious….but this is not what I come here to discuss……I come to talk about sex……yep, this a grown up blog……..so if you don’t want to take that journey…stop reading here………
Wait for it……………

Wait for it……………..

Wait for it……………
Okay Cool…..Shall I Proceed?
See, the problem down here……they don’t play slow music in the club…..that’s why folks don’t know how to have sex….see when I was growing up and we went out…..club, party, house party, anything, they would play the same routine….new shit at first……..the shit on the radio…….then the music that’s gonna get the women on the floor (line dancing, bounce/boy music)……..some more new shit…then some slow jam…….POW!!!......this is when the men get to practice with the body….Bump And Grind, T-Shirt and Panties, They Don’t Know….man, we used to get it in……nowadays, the dudes and the females don’t dance with each other…they dance in their clicks……what the fuck is that shit?...dude, get on it….but NOOOOOO!!!!...now, we grinding all night and then when we get the woman in the bed we think that’s how she want it…..sorry partna, not at all…….men, don’t know how to get deep in the pus anymore…….we too busy trying to bust that pussy open and tear the pussy up………idiots……
And to my sisters……yall cant do have the shit in the bed that you do in the club…..women used to grind and dance with the fellas to see what he working wit on the sly……so don’t get mad cause you thought his belt buckle was his dick…….you wanna do splits and dance all up on your bff and then expect a man to find you attractive in the club…..and why do you have your shoes off in the club again?......women in the club used to be sexy….now they too busy screaming how they an independent bitch……but I can’t call you that right?..........
The club used to be practice….that was how you found a groove with a person…music period….I wonder if that’s why old people slow dance in their living room or even at clubs….they keeping their rhythm together…we just not on game……we miserable with compatibility issues but all it takes is a simple test…..slow dance with them…that will tell you a lot………..

LOVE YALL!!!!!

CHURCH!!!!

YOU ONLY HAVE ONE CHANCE TO LIVE TWICE......

2011-04-12T15:31:00.000-07:00

Greetings to all my people on today!!...it is Tuesday and I have come to give you another edition of Wise Words of Spaceship……man, my head is full of things right now……these are the days that are hard for me…..I’m learning that I am a little more emotional than what I appear…but oh well…..I guess its part of life…..before I get into my message for today I do have some things to get off my chest……

Now, I say this in love and kindness……I DO NOT LIVE FOR ANYONE BUT MY GRANDPARENTS AND MY DAUGHTER!!!........I say that because recently I have been tinkering around on my facebook and I went back into “case study mode”…that’s when I do or say something to get a reaction…..well, lately, I have been getting a few messages questioning some of the things I said……this is my life….if things happen, so be it……I found myself living to make other people happy from 2003-2009….in the end, I was the one full of heartache and pain……I love you guys with all my sincerity, but I refuse to stop or alter my life to make someone else happy……I remember when I had my album release party, people were telling me not to let some artist perform….when I had my bday party, folks got upset about me not having them perform….when I kick it with someone, I am offered suggestions on how to handle that person…..and that ish is draining….and petty…..so from this day forward, you have been warned……because of my life as an entertainer, I understand how important it is to try to keep people happy and supportive of your goals….right now, I’m in a “dgaf” attitude…..so if you think this message pertains to you…..STOP IT…next time, I may just put you on blast!!......

Friday, I was out of town and received a phone call from a co-worker…..it was a call of the worse kind….another one of our buddies son was killed…..now the father is someone we look up to here and he was pretty crushed about the ordeal…I mean, why wouldn’t he be?.....his only son…shot down for stupid purposes……it was a very hard pill for him to swallow…..as I talked to my friend, I begin to reminisce about my grandparents and the pain I suffered with their passing…..I had to ask myself, “if now isn’t a good time to love, when is?”……I’m getting older and as time pass, I think even I begun to take that word for granted…yes, I have my Jayla….and some days that’s all I need…but even I am guilty of not thinking about her everyday…..maybe its due to not seeing her everyday……and for me at times, out of site, out of mind……but as I talked to him, its more than just my daughter I am concerned about……its everything…….yes, I do want to get married again…yes I do want to have more kids…yes I want my music and entertainment to take off…….I want to feel loved and I want to reciprocate that feeling…..at the age of 31, I am just now being able to distinguish when someone loves me…….it may sound funny, but it’s the truth……working in the realm of entertainment, love is not something that is prevalent; this business consist of a lot of snake, evils, and people that want to use you to enhance themselves……its easy to fall into that trap and either you become one that does those things or you become so numb to people’s words that even outside of it, you doubt genuine behavior….think about a prosecutor or an investigator…..they spend a large amount of time interrogating people looking for they truth….how hard do u think it is when they have a child that they think is lying to them or even a loved one??........we may think its not true, but look at how we act when we ask our kids did they do something.....and we know they lying…..we will bust a vein with intensity…….especially when we know we are right…….
So I have to figure this out……for me….not anyone else but myself…..now I am not in a place of unhappiness….just in a place where I need clarity…..is there someone that has my attention…yes……is there someone I know is good for me….indeed……are their people that I don’t take the time to show how much I love them….yes indeed…..and we must be mindful that tomorrow is not promised to any of us…..no matter how upset my grandmother used to be at us, we never went to bed angry….there are so many times where we will get mad at our friends and wont speak……but you never know if that is the last time you will see them or even speak to them…….to love someone is not mandatory…but to love in general is…we spend way too much time being mad for nothing…for things that wont matter within a week……for reasons we soon forget……and for situations that can be changed……I’m not asking for you to love me….love yourself first…I promise it will shine brighter than the biggest son……lets not continue to focus on why things aren’t…in this day and time, we need to focus on what is………and that is love……because regardless of who we are, someone loves you for just being you……….

Well I am about to get out of here……don’t really have anymore work to do but I think I have rambled enough…..continue to support Spaceship’s Incredible Sunday Showdown on www.spindatmusic.com each Sunday from 6-10cst…all you have to do is go to the website, click on the station that says hip hop/r&b and hit video chat…its an online station so no matter where you are at, you can tune in!!........

The new album, “Operation: Hip Hop” is coming this summer #TEAMOHAYSES

Love yall!!!!!

Church!!!

LIKE ROCKS THROUGH AN HOURGLASS.....

2011-04-04T18:21:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday to you all!!.....I hope I come to u in peace and bliss…..sorry I have been away for a few days….am trying my best not to be….but I was a little under the weather last week…..I definitely wanted to write a blog March 26th, but I was unable to……that day marked the 2 year anniversary of Wise Words of Spaceship……and it means a lot that you guys continue to support me, encourage me, and love me like you do…I am truly grateful and humbled by all of your support…..now, to year 3…..and I still ask that you tell other people about the blog….give them something to read…some encouragement even….my goal is to touch lives…to let you guys as well as others now, that we all have battles….and that we all can over come them…..

I’m going to boot camp with one of my co-workers on Wednesday…ima let that marinate for a minute……exactly my thoughts too…STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!......I promised her I would go and because of the way my body shut down on me last week, I know its more important than ever that I get in shape……I haven’t had a rigorous exercise in a long time…..I just don’t see myself wanting to die right now…..so I will go and work diligently on getting my body in shape…..ooh, if I get fine……I may have to have security!!.........

Something that disturbs me…..the other day I was conversing with someone and they said something that rubbed me the wrong way….when I brought it to their attention, they said they were just joking…..my question is: would they have said they were joking if I would not have voiced my displeasure on the topic??......I see this a lot…..hear it even more, especially at the workplace….we must be mindful of the things we say to people….now I do understand that you may be thinking. “Spaceship, you are one of the meanest people I know”…….and that is a correct statement……when I say something, I am very reasonable at letting you know if I am joking or not….I am not usually the one to say “j/k” or “j/p” after I see your displeasure at my comment….we are all human; and we all have emotions and feelings that make us react…some negative and some positive…the key to life is being real….always……we will never like everything everyone says……so don’t bite your tongue and don’t take back the things you said…..

My mixtape is in the works….it will be entitled “Operation: Hip Hop”……now, I am not too fond of making mixtapes but I think this is needed…..in the process of making myself a brand….or creating my brand……I feel my craft at being an MC is being lost…so, I have to do what only I know how…..create the hottest mixtape of 2011…..and I guarantee you it will be explosive…..I’m going to put my soul in this album……to me, hip hop is at war against rap music…and yes, rap does have its place….I love it at times..(I cant believe I just admitted that)…….it just wont have a place on this album….my prayer is that I may work with artist that will not only enhance this work, but elevate my craft……I love making music…it is, my first love in this entertainment realm….and I haven’t made an album since the passing of grandma….so this will be dedicated to her……time to turn up the energy and give the streets what they need!!.....

My girl Pasha just put an article out on me on their website…I would appreciate it if you all checked it out….go to www.theloungreport.info and leave a comment…..all it takes is a minute and I know you would be proud of ya boi!!.........don’t forget each and every Sunday, it’s Spaceship’s Incredible Sunday Showdown on www.spindatmusic.com on the hip hop/r&b station….all u have to do is click the link and hit “video chat room”….we are always fooling in their and I play all of your favorites young and old….it doesn’t matter what city you are in, what country you are visiting, or what you are watching on TV….from 6-10 cst, you can listen to me and get your party on the only way I know how….

Wrestlemania 27 is in the books and I didn’t get to watch it!!.....sucks but hey, I had to work…shout out to Edge and the Miz for winning their respective matches……

Well, now its time to say goodbye to all my fellow friends…..let me get up out of here…remember to support, love, encourage and uplift….its the only way we can stay in a positive mode…..

Love yall!!!!

Church!!

GREATER THAN LESS THAN MY ALL

2011-03-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

Dear You:

Funny how times flies huh? I remember when we first met and you were the only person that talked to me in class. As I sat by myself at lunch, you came over and started a conversation with me. Going to school was more about seeing you than it was learning. People thought you were either a family member or we were in a relationship. Our friendship was based on neither. There were times when we got mad at each other, but nothing that had us at odds longer than a few minutes. We were fortunate enough to go to the same elementary, middle, and high school. We had even planned to go to college together. The older we got, the more I felt our destinies were tied to each other. There was never any pressure for us “to be together”; except of course by our other friends. I knew that you were apart of me and a person I could always count on.

When I got married, you were there for me. You helped me through all my times and never judged my significant other. I was able to confide in you and tell you how I was feeling without you giving me any grief. You became friends with them; helping them to pick out things for holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. We double dated a few times and it was even more of a blessing that no jealousy was ever felt on anyone’s part. Once my marriage began to go downhill, you were the one that told me to stay and work it out. You were the one that told me that I may never find another person I was willing to spend the rest of my life with. And being a friend, I listened. Until I couldn’t take anymore. When I informed you of my decision to walk away, again, you didn’t judge me. You stayed by my side, never pressuring me to change my decision. You consoled me and stayed the loving loyal friend that I had known since elementary school.

And then we had sex. We promised each other never to change, and we lied. I can remember that day almost clearer than the day of my first child. Yes, it was a heat of the moment thing. And yes, it was very good, but my intent was never to hurt you or complicate our relationship. You are the one person I never had to worry about leaving my side or being in a complicated state with. I looked to you for my strength and my inspiration. And everything was the same. Because you knew I didn’t want a relationship with anyone else. I wanted to “do me”. Play the field and enjoy being single. My ex was my first and only up until the point when you and I became intimate. This was a new stage in my life and even after my divorce, you didn’t want me as more than what I had become: your best friend.

So tell me why now has all this changed? Yes, I have met a person of interest and yes, we are moving towards something magical. I would think you would be happy for me. Contrary to that belief, it seems like you are starting to spite me. Our conversations are shorter, you seem to have jealous intent when asking how we are doing, and you no longer come around like you used to. I am still here for you. I will never let you go from my side. I love you too much. The love I have for you is not the same love I hold in my heart for them. I don’t say this to be mean; just honest. It’s crazy how I never thought I would have to make a decision between you and someone else. I told you if they ever gave me that ultimatum, the decision would be easy. Now, you seem like the one giving the decision. My choice will not be as hard as you think. As much I do love you and want you in my life, I refuse to have my friendship threaten by your sensitivity to my happiness. I want you in my life. If you can’t be there, I know what I have to do although I may not want to do it.

I love you. Come back to me.

ME

FOR A MOMENT LIKE THIS!!!

2011-03-21T13:48:00.000-07:00

I know you all have probably be waiting…and I don’t know why I haven’t blogged since the birthday bash....kinda busy, kinda been moving….so I wasn’t really in a place where I could blog….but I did think about you all!!...how are u doing today?.....I’m good…..still in my happy place….still getting blessed by the favors of God…still getting my grind on….I hope you all had a favorable weekend…..weather was beautiful down here in Dallas this weekend….great time to spend with loved ones…….

Well, about this bash….it was totally off the chain and such a blessing for me!!.......I don’t say this because it was my event, but if you missed it, you missed something special….sometimes its hard to gauge who really cares and really supports your movement….well on March 12th, I found out….from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank everyone that was in attendance for this event….it was an honor to have u there and to perform in front of you all….to the baddest band in the land, One Night Stand…..you all are a God send and you have created a motivation in me that you may not even realize…thank you…..I am not going to individually thank everyone….this blog would be too long….but if you were there, I love you dearly…..and if you came to the Presidential Suite afterwards…well, lets just leave that in our memories!!!....

About to start working on a new mixtape…..yea, I said it…I know what you all are thinking, “Spaceship, u don’t make mixtapes!!”….I don’t but sometimes you have to do something different…..I don’t know what I am going to call it as of now…..haven’t even thought about it...trying to get my money up first because once I start it, I’m not going to want to take forever to finish it…..and maybe, just maybe by the end of the year, I may release another album…..its been a minute since I recorded some new music so I think this week will be a week where I focus on concepts and arranging a mixtape I feel is worthy to put out to the nation…nope, this will not be a locally, or regional mixtape…..this is about to go national babe!!......

I must get some things off my chest though…and yes this to anybody who take offense to it…first thing, I’m still dealing with my attitude…so don’t ask how was my birthday party if you didn’t come....I know a lot of people had things to do…some of you though, aren’t supporters of my movement and only wish failure upon me…..I wont be too mean to you….I just don’t feel like telling you how it was if you didn’t find time to celebrate with me…..second thing…….I cant continue to help push someone to a new place or support someone that doesn’t want it…..its draining…and this is something for all of us….how many times have we allowed people to hold us down trying to help them move to a different place…..unfortunately, some people are scared of success…..some people like staying in their rut…..greatness is not that hard to obtain; it’s the work and effort one puts in to accomplish their goals…over this past weekend, I realized that some people don’t want to change….and others don’t want anything but what they have……its not that I want to be mean…..even though in their opinion, you will be……I have mountains to climb…..I have to achieve all that God wants me to and babysitting is not on my list to do!!.......

Also, I think I am ready to get married……..

Well this is the end of today’s edition…I honestly had more to say, but my boss just made me upset and I forgot everything I was going to say…I could wait to send this out…..but I’m in one of those moods…..make sure you tune in tomorrow for allure radio with Ms Nique Nique and myself on www.allureradio.com and Spaceship’s Incredible Sunday Showdown each and every Sunday on www.spindatmusic.com and click on the hip hop/r&b station…..your support is truly welcomed….

Love yall!!!

Church!!

THAT IS ONE FINE UGLY DUCKLING!!

2011-03-04T15:42:00.001-08:00

Well…it is Friday great people!!...I didn’t think I was going to write today…I actually told someone I wasn’t going to…but the fact of the matter is, I am sleepy and my work has been completed for quite some time….its been rather hard to work today, promoting this bday party for next week….ARE YOU EXCITED?!!.......you should be....its going to be a spectacular event and I know that you all will thoroughly enjoy yourself….I have been on the hunt for midgets but have yet to come across any that may be available….bummer right?....but who knows what the next week will bring in the world of Spaceship Ohayses…..

You all should have seen the flyer by now….its on twitter, facebook, and I have sent it by email to some….if you have not, I will definitely be sending it out via email….even if I don’t want to…..yahoo is starting to suck but I know this is the passage that we all began this journey on, so I must continue it…..tonight, don’t forget I will be live on Fishbowl Radio with my homie Ms. Nique Nique as we bring you the best in online radio havoc….we are in the grey bowl from 9-11 central standard time…..and Sunday, I will be on www.spindatmusic.com from 6-10 central standard time for Spaceship’s Incredible Sunday Showdown…..and if you have not had a chance to listen to either show, you are missing a treat!!......

So….I feel a change of winds coming on…..I’m approaching the young age of 31 Tuesday and my life is finally reaching a level I have always prayed about…..my life was never easy….but a lot of times, I made it harder….I have never claimed to be a product of my environment or a lost cause….my motto was that I was born alone and I shall die alone….hurt and pain were the only things I could relate to when it came to people…yes, I love to entertain, but to get emotionally attached often left me with a sour taste and a numb feeling….through my marriage, the birth of my daughter, the death of my grandparents and various other milestones in my life, I decided to always keep my feelings close to my hip….for so long, I was the advice column; giving advice to those when in fact, I had no answers for myself…..I felt like Janet Jackson in Why Did I Get Married…….

The lack of smiling was not my true emotion, it was my wall…..I felt there was a certain weakness within me if I allowed happy emotions to show…the majority of folks that surrounded me either were negative, messy, or wanted me to stay in yesterday….instead of always defending myself, I chose to keep this wall up, hoping it would cause a fear to them to establish a relationship with me…the only time I could show elatement was when I was performing……after that, back I go into the cave that was my soul…..now don’t get me wrong, I tried to push through my own wall, only to find myself falling in deeper from the backlash which was my own self-pity….did I know I was internally throwing myself a pity party?....sometimes….did I care?....not one bit…for I felt the safest place for me to be would be within my thoughts, dreams, and emotions……

At the beginning of the year, I decided to find myself…..to love what was and is….to search for that person that others saw but I didn’t…..and here he stands…now, I am happier and more blessed than I can ever remember being….a smile is not unusual now; it is becoming the norm…..frustration of failed decisions are like dew on an oak tree……relationships are growing while opportunities are happening at a fascinating pace…to love thyself is the greatest love next to God and I am thankful that I was allowed to find this peace before it was too late…now, don’t get me wrong….I am still the same Spaceship Ohayses….I still have those tendencies….however, I am learning to channel them and not allow myself to dwell on them…..I remember being called nonchalant a lot just because I didn’t show any emotions…..now I am nonchalant because my emotions are not getting affected the way they used to be….and it’s a beautiful thing…..I feel myself growing’ ready for whatever the world has to offer me and excited about seeing a new day….I feel a rebirth within my soul……..

We all have had our trials and tribulations….growing pains are a part of life just like going to the club, road trips and relationships…..no one is immune to them….how we respond shows the truest testament of our character…..until that final page is done, we always have the chance to write a happy ending…..as many people that influence us, we are the final decision maker in our paths to greatness….no one, and I mean no one will love you like you do…no one will know what it takes for you to be happy like you do…..so now what?....WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT??

Love yall!

Church!

ITS NOT THAT HARD TO SAY GOODBYE......

2011-03-02T15:52:00.001-08:00

Good evening great folks!!....back by popular demand, I am here, I am here….great day to be incredible if I may say so myself….well, I am still at work and as much as I am ready to leave, I am so glad I didn’t…..because if I would have, you guys would not be getting this blog…so much going on in the world of Spaceship Ohayses and I want to personally thank each and everyone of you that have supported the movement, loved me when I hated myself, and continue to define to define the true meaning of friendship for me…..if you don’t know, my birthday bash is next Saturday March 12th at the Prophet Bar in Deep Ellum….the address is 2548 ELM ST, DALLAS TX 75226…doors open at 9 and I p[ray everyone can make it out to this event!! I promise it is going to be a night few will ever forget!!......

Also, don’t forget to check out my girl Ms Nique Nique and myself on fish bowl radio in the grey bowl every Friday night from 9-11 cst…… www.fishbowlradio.com and myself on www.spindatmusic.com on the hip hop/r&b station every Sunday from 6-10 cst……God has been showing me so much favor it is ridiculous!!.....I hope that you all can become a part of out internet radio family…and if you know anything about me, you know I am always going to let loose with a mic in my hand…….

So, I went home to Michigan this past weekend…was able to spend some time with my loved ones, see some friends and just enjoy a good weekend of relaxation…..it was totally hard for me to drive past my grandmother house and see it vacant….this was the first time I ever went home and did not pull into 310 Harriet Street first….crazy feeling there I tell you…..I ended up going to my grandmother’s church on Sunday to see those that loved her as well as some family members that had not talked to me since her passing….as we walked in, it was realized that we were terribly late…..the pastor was already up and giving the message so I sat down and listened to what he had to say….he was talking about yesterday……

Yesterday is our past…its amazing how people keep us neutral from growth and the progressions of life by constantly bringing up our yesterday……we have all made many mistakes, but that was yesterday……we may have faced defeat, adversity, sorrow, pain, and despair, but that was yesterday….we may have even strayed away from the things God commands of us, but once we decide to get it right….once we choose to change courses in our life, those things become yesterday…..it amazes me, when I look back and honestly reflect on the path I have taken, how many folks try to convince ME to stay in my yesterday…..and believe me, I know how hard it is to cut those thoughts and people off and focus on my today and my tomorrow……

I’m not going to sit here and tell you cut people off…most of our biggest haters are the ones we love the most…..we must realize as we continue to obtain wisdom…as we continue to move towards the dreams and destinations of our heart, that some things…people, places, ideologies, and habits must cease to exist in our lives…or as my grandmother would say, “feed em with a long handle spoon”……I cant move forward if I am always looking in my rear view mirror at yesterday…I will eventually crash……if my vehicle to go to tomorrow is stuck in neutral, where am I really going….for too long, I was told what I cant do....what wont work....and how I will always be…well, my friends, I am here to say I am a testimony of what positive thinking and hard work can do….I don’t strive to be mean to people; just honest to myself….how can I focus on marriage, continuing to play the field?......how can I focus on my career wishing I was still in college?......where would I be if I still acted as if no one loved me and I was back running the streets like in high school……tomorrow is approaching fast….and I cant get ready for it if I am still dealing with….yesterday….

Continue to focus on the greatness in you….always work with high moral and never allow yourself to put in yesterday….time waits for no man…..and it is the one thing you can get back…so leave it where it sleeps…in yesterday…….

Love yall!!!

Church!!

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT......

2011-02-14T18:03:00.000-08:00

February 14th…the day where millions of people spend millions of dollars showing their love and affection to their companion/significant other……for many people, usually women, this is their favorite holiday…..the Webster’s dictionary states that Valentine’s Day I “a day for the exchange of tokens of affection”…..so today I give to you…..MY BLOG!!.......lol……this is about as affectionate that I can get on a day like this!!......how are you all doing today??......I hope all is well and that your loved ones gave you everything your heart desired……..for me, its just an average day……a day to give thanks simply for being alive……my Valentine is God…..to whom my love flows unconditionally….no gift I purchase could equate to all the good he has done for me…..

Now most of you know the surface story as to why I don’t like Valentine’s Day…or any holiday for that matter……and if you don’t know, make sure you check out the broadcast of Allure Radio with me and Ms. Nique Nique at allureradio.com……..but the reasons are even deeper than that…..I once said in a blog, you cant love someone unless you love yourself….now, while some may think that giving presents or showing someone you care for them is the purpose of the day, I ask, is it really?......see, for the last few years, I have been in this re-building mode within my soul…..not here to say I don’t love myself, but there have been times where I questioned it…my lifestyle was wild, I was unconscious to the things I was doing and the consequences of said actions…..reckless you can say…my mentally was of that “I don’t give an f” attitude…..I was used to doing things my way, my pace, my style and I accepted that I would never change…..well, its funny how time brings about change and the older I have gotten and the more God has dealt with me, the more I realized that my life was stuck in neutral……and it was my fault……

I am just now opening myself back up to love….yeah, I have done a great job of liking things-music, women, clubs, hobbies, Jayla, and myself included….but I had to ask myself, when was the last time I love something other than my daughter o entertaining…..when was the last time I told myself how much I loved me?....you know when we are in a relationship and the feeling begins to dissipate, we find reasons to not be around that person….we have a shorter fuse…..we pick arguments…and we are not as receptive to their love as in the past…..what do you do when u fall out of love with yourself?....you have no where to run…you cant have private time, or not call yourself for days….you have to deal with it and try to make those changes while continuing to be around yourself….sounds funny? Maybe….the truth is, more people face this issue than we realize and it’s a deficiency many of us don’t have an answer for…..I realized that it truly did start with the man in the mirror…….

So now, I am more focused on loving me…..not beating myself up about tough decisions...I understand the hand I was dealt and instead of dreading it and throwing my cards back in, I play with what I have, hoping to achieve a win…..a lot of things have made me who I am…..I remember a time in my life where I never lost at anything…..now I look at many things as a lost…just because they don’t grant me the things I would hope to gain, does not mean the lessons and the prize is less valuable….life is what you make it….love is the benefit of living a positive life…not love from others; but love from yourself…..nothing in life can take that away as long as you know who you are and are not afraid to hide from this fact……so today, I give myself a Valentine’s present: happiness…….

I think this will be the last blog I send out via email…..I love writing it sending it is becoming a small hassle….and who reads em anyway??...if you are that interested, I have a site to look them up on……not trying to be mean at all….just efficient….especially here at work…..so if you want to read up on what’s going on you can always check out www.spaceshipohayses.blogspot.com ……..until next time!!!

I almost forgot!!....THANK YOU ALL!! I HAVE FINALLY REACHED 1,000 HITS ON THE BLOG SITE!! WHOO-HOO!!....NEXT STOP, 5,000 VIEWS!!

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM..BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE PLAYING!!

2011-02-10T12:53:00.000-08:00

Greeting to all my friends and socialites!!....hope you are having a great week so far and all things are looking bright and beautiful for you!!....wow, I had such an outstanding night last night…..I think one of the things that helps me on this journey to superstardom is the acknowledgment of revelations in my life…..on the surface, I had a horrible night….but once I take myself and my selfishness out of the equation, things become more clear…it is these things, that make my life worth wild…..lessons learned are rarely easy to fathom…..easy to digest…..or easy to anticipate….they are, however, helpful in obtain wisdom, patience, and an appreciation for others and their craft…..

First things first…..just found out the Beast of the Streets competition scheduled for this Friday has been rescheduled....until February 25th….not a big deal right?!...well, that is the weekend I am going home to Flint…..so I am kinda of bummed about it…even more so because before they changed the date, they didn’t ask me if it was ok…I am not sure if they assumed I would be fine with the move, were only looking out for their best interest, were too busy to confirm with me, or just a little bit of all three…..if anyone wants to sign up though, you can still get me the funds and registration information….I pray everyone does an awesome job and that they can win the $500!!......

Soo….last night I went to the Prophet Bar off Elm Street…..I receive emails about this event all the time but never took the time to check it out…….they have a live band there and they hold an open mic….not like the open mics I am used to hosting, but the one where the band plays certain songs and you can get up there and rock out….most of the artist there are singers....as a matter of fact, I was the only MC that got on stage….but I can tell you with all my heart and soul, it was an amazing evening….now I got to the club about 10…..they were about 4 people in there….no biggie….im used to going places early cause I like to leave early…..well when the band started playing, they allowed me to jump on stage and rock for a minute….now, not being one that likes to wear out my welcome, I didn’t stay up there long….just long enough to give them a skeet taste of what I had to offer…..well time went by and more people showed up….the guy that was announcing the list seemed to over looking me…..singer, after singer, after singer went on stage and rocked the crowd….BUT I HAD BEEN THERE SINCE TEN?!!...why were they all going on before me……my battery on my phone was dead and I had already made quota drinking Heinekens…..performing and sleep were the last two things on my agenda I had yet to accomplish…..each time I got ready to leave, I was told to stay….ugh, decisions, decisions…….I kept telling myself, “if they don’t call me next, im leaving”…but I never left…even took a powernap until I heard on the mic my name…so I got up…..mustered up all the strength in my soul and performed like I was the featured act….the crowd responded well….and then there was one person that couldn’t take her eyes off me…..

As I got off stage ready to make a B Line for the entrance, said lady stopped me and told me I was awesome….she asked if I had a card…..I gave her one out of my wallet and proceeded to at least listen to the next act for a few seconds…I hate when people leave right after they perform so I try to live by that creed myself….so as I get ready to leave I walk past the lady again and ask for her name…..she told me previously, but honestly, I wasn’t paying too much attention…she asked me to look it up so I did…..and WOW!!!....she has credentials longer than my……..hopefully, we will be able to chop it up and possibly this could be the breakthrough I have been praying God for….its so crazy how God continued to stop me from leaving as much as my body was telling me to go…..and even though it was only about 20 people in the club, it only takes one to pay attention to your talents and give you that inspiration to keep it up……

So I say to all my people that are trying to make a better life for themselves...never give up....never look at what is…..continue to know what God can do and how he can feed a village with bread and fish……I know I have been guilty of looking at my surroundings and thinking that there are not enough people in a place for it to be worth it….or that everyone may not like my brand of music…..but most trees grow from one seed….and that tree can have a everlasting effect on its environment……if you believe in yourself, I can guarantee you someone else will eventually believe in you as well……

Love yall!!!

Church!!

WAITING TO INHALE....SHOTGUN!!

2011-02-07T17:57:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday beautiful people!!.....I hope I come before you in good spirits and in great condition….and for my friends here in Dallas, I pray you had a safe and exciting Super Bowl week….man, the weather was crazy wasn’t it?......felt like I was back at home in Michigan again…..but we made it through and hopefully, you didn’t spend all your income tax check trying to see your favorite famous person for about 10 minutes….I sure didn’t…….got some things coming up so I am going to update you on all the things I am doing so that you can hopefully clear your schedule to party with me…..

But of course…..My official birthday bash is tentatively scheduled for march 12th….the location right now is kinda up in the air but I think I have pinpointed that as well….Spaceship will be turning the big 31…(no, I cant believe it either; God has been so good to me!!)……so plan to be at this gala event…if there is anyone that would like to help with organizing this gala event, let me know…..I think I know everything I want to do at this party....such as not hosting…..a comedic roast, artist performing…and yes that does include me…..at first, I wasn’t really feeling a party this year, but what the hell!!.......s/n: someone told me yesterday, “you only turn 31 once?”…aint that with any birthday?.....things like that have no bearing on any decisions I make……..

I also think I found a location to start back with my open mic nights…..but of course they will be a little different…so I am attempting to figure out if this is the direction I want to go…..I love hosting and I met a lot of great people/artist along the way….time to get back on this grind and make everything a success……

This Friday, I will be hosting the “Beast of the Streets” competition at TI Blvd……grand prize is $500 and 3 hours worth of studio time to record music…..if you still want to register, get with me IMMEDIATELY….registration costs is $25 for an individual artist and $50 for a group of 2-6……don’t really think there are groups with more than that in them, so come on out and win you some money….if you are that hot….#imjustsaying…….

Also, next Tuesday….February 15th, I will be performing at the “Are You the Next Top Artist” Showcase at the Boiler Room down in Deep Ellum….I definitely encourage everyone to come out and support me on this venture …got a few surprises lined up so I am looking forward to showing them that I don’t have next…I GOTS NOW!!......

Something that bothers me….open toe boots……what’s the purpose?...boots are to warm your feet…..but hey, I’m not a woman…….

Congrats to the Green Bay Packers on winning the Super Bowl last night….I didn’t get a chance to watch the game….I have my online radio show each and every Sunday…It’s Spaceship’s Incredible Sunday Showdown on www.spindatmusic.com ……I am on the hip hop/r&b station…..from 6-10 CENTRAL STANDARD TIME…..so now you cant say you cant hear me because internet radio goes along way!!......I truly love doing radio and you all can get in the video chat room, call in to our radio line, or email me……all it takes is a little bit of time and if you are at home, I do encourage to check it out……

What was up with Christina Aguilera last night??.....did she butcher the National Anthem or what.....just my opinion but if you are that famous, shouldn’t you have that kind of thing rehearsed and ready to go??....unless you were subdued by a monumentous amount of crack cocaine before you got on stage…..it was almost as bad as Carl Lewis http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJLvCM4j2mg&feature=player_embedded …please check that out!!

Make sure you follow me on twitter: @spaceshipo…….I’m just about as random there as those that know me in my personal life…..and please, have others follow me as well…..not into begging folks anymore….people will be people….and my attitude is changing in regards to being upset about those that hang on or bandwagon jump at the last minute…I understand the life God gives me and the people that will doubt me…I’m just going to continue doing my thing and pray that it pays off according to His will……

I love yall….I really do….just when I feel like giving up, you guys continue to push me to a higher ground…you truly lift me up when you may not know it…all the support, the love, the comments, the criticism, the jokes….all of those things help me prosper into being the best entertainer in the world……to the few of you that don’t see it….its cool……you will……

And lastly, I talked to DJ Lady Ja-Roq…she is well and wants you all to know that she loves you and she misses you….and no matter what some people have said, our bond will never break…….when she returns I beg that yall are ready…she will be new, improved, and even more incredible that Spaceship…well, not THAT incredible but you get he point…..

Well, ima get back to work before massa comes over here lurking over my shoulder…….

Shout outs to my girl Vera…happy birthday love…and to Nina……thank you for continuing to believe in me and for giving me avenues to continue my craft…….

Love Yall!!!!

Church!!!!

CAN I USE YOUR LUNCH CARD??

2011-01-26T14:35:00.000-08:00

Could this be?...am I seriously be blogging two days in a row?...say it aint so…yes it is so!!...how are you all doing this afternoon…man, I can remember looking forward to writing like this everyday….seems so long ago…I don’t even know if I have written my 400th blog yet….let me look…..363 done…I have some major work to do!!...how are you all doing today?....I am super blessed…man, it feels good to be in a positive mode…not letting anything bother me…almost did today though....Lord, forgive me…I had to catch myself…..learning that picking your battles is such an important task in life….

I remember when I lost my wallet…my ex wife and I had finished having dinner and from the restaurant to the store, somehow, I lost it….I was frustrated…the next day, I had to go to the social security office to get a new card…..when I walked in, it was packed….and it was early….I had to go to work so I couldn’t stay too long…actually I was there for about an hour and a half and after that, my patience wore thin and I left….the next two days I returned with the same obstacle…..line long as Texas, and I didn’t want to wait…..eventually, I had to take off a half of day from work so I could be seen…I had to get my new social security card…..

Sometimes our impatience allows us to miss our blessings….Monday, a good friend of mine called and I was telling him about my desire to stop making music…his reply?...”stay in line long enough, you will get to the window”……and that is a very true statement....it may not be our at a particular moment so we must wait….we must continue to walk in the faith that eventually, it will be our turn to get our needs and wishes granted…sometimes, I see people get jealous of others receiving blessings, wishing and praying it was them….what we don’t know is how faithful they were doing that process….the adversity they faced during their wait,…and the optimism they maintained knowing it shall be done…..lets not be discouraged by what we don’t see knowing and believing what will be……

This blog is dedicated to myself……my mind is fluctuating right now, moving through all facets of my life…my intent is always good…..but there are days where I am weary….they are times when giving up seems easier….to get out of the line of blessings because I have something else to do…..but I cant do it along….and after it is all said and done all I can do is stand…..and wait patiently….with love and anticipation that the request I have asked for will be granted….my journey cant be over….I have yet to reach my window of prosperity….and for that reason alone, I know that I have great things in store for me……..and remember....He has enough behind his counter for everyone….once he serves one person, he’s not done…you will never be shortchanged from your blessings!!

Not gonna take up too much time……gonna get out of here shortly……just wanted to get in the habit of blogging again…….

Love yall!!!!

Church!!

EDIBLE WORDS, NO CHICKEN SOUP!!

2011-01-25T16:27:00.000-08:00

Guess whose back in the motherlovin house…with a fat blog for your motherlovin mouth!!....lol….what’s good my people….happy new year, merry xmas and all that good stuff…to my new friends, I welcome you…..wow, it has been a minute since I wrote you all....and so much going on…..but I can say, I have been totally blessed since the last time we conversed…..don’t know where to start and of course, I never know where I will end….gonna try not to make this too long so I can get out of work as soon as I am done….

Last we spoke, I was considering retirement from the entertainment industry….it has been a very difficult road that I was not sure I could stay on…my decision is still pending, but only in the realm of making music…..I love what I do within the industry, I just don’t know if making music is one of them….it is so political here in Dallas….my grandfather used to tell me, its not what you know, its who you know...and boy was he right….and to think of all the people I have come across down here, its still like pulling teeth to get them to listen to a song, or read a blog, or just give a person an opportunity…and its not just me….I have other ventures that compensate my need for attention….what about these other artist??....there grind and music may be even better than mine, but since they are not in the friend loop, they get overlooked....and its sad…..so I am thinking about managing….helping others get the exposure they so rightfully deserve….and it may not be in Dallas where that recognition is realized….dreams are bigger that OCT……and that’s not October…..

Well I have my own radio show now….every Sunday from 6-10pm CENTRAL STANDARD TIME, you can check me out on www.spindatmusic.com on the hip hop/r&b station....my show is called Spaceship’s Incredible Sunday Showdown…..i’m only three weeks in, but it has been so fun…something I look forward to everyweek….you can go online and listen for yourself…..because of the way I feel about the industry, I am giving artist opportunies ot get there music played on air, maybe come down for an interview, and be a featured guest….that is, if your music is hot…..its exciting to me and I absolutely love it....make sure you check it out……

Got a lot of shows coming up in the next few weeks…..I may be sending out flyers for those coming up so I hope you can come out a few times and check me out….support is definitely needed…..

For a minute there, I was depressed….yes, even Spaceship has his moments….I questioned my reason for doing what I do….like I said, as great as many of you believe I am....and I thank you for it, the love and respect of the Dallas industry was not there…..financial problems, relationship issues, tired of my job…it all bunched in at one moment….you know how older folks say that God wont put more on you than you can bare?.....I learned that I can bare a lot….in my mind, I wanted to break down….but my body and my mind didn’t…..I went to church on New Years Eve….yep, no parties, no chilling at the crib, no “cuddling”……and I am so happy I did….I laid my burdens down….and honestly, I don’t know the last time I did that….we say we believe in God and his powers but how many times have we just said, “you know what God, here. Here are my trials and tribulations and lets see you handle them!”…..and you know what, he did…..I was asked the other day what has been the biggest difference between this year and last year…..and you know what, its my thinking…sometimes we can think ourselves into depression….we can make situations and circumstances so big in our mind that we never worry about the solution….I was too busy giving myself a pity party…and it showed at work, talking to women, with my daughter’s mom, even my music….not much has changed as far as my situations….my thinking has altered though….I am no longer worried about the problem, yet searching for the solution…..instead of holding on to past hurts and suppressions, I have let them go….I have lived with a pride issue….worried that I would looked down upon for changing my beliefs……I can no longer continue to hold on to such things….

2011 will be a great year for everyone if you believe it…..everyone has their own story….and we determine what is written on the pages of our lives….why don’t we deserve a happy ending?...each one of have been the symbol of despair at one point in our life…but if we dot believe that God can do all things, who do we believe can?....so let go and let God…I have and I feel better, I think better, and I act better…..to those I have offended and hurt due to my actions of 2011, I am deeply apologetic…..sometimes I failed to realize the impact I had on one’s life…..my intent is never to hurt; it is of love….my “resolution” is to be better each day and focus only on the positives…..

Well, I am out of here….remember if you need a hot host, MC, performer, speaker, or writer, you know who to call…and follow me on twitter@spaceshipo

Love yall dearly!!

Church!!!

MY NEW YEAR REVELATION!!!

2010-12-29T20:50:00.000-08:00

Tis the season!!.....hola folks…I hope that this holiday has brought you all much cheer……2011 is quickly approaching and while many have resolutions that they hope not to break within the first week, I’m going to simply work on making each day of my life better than the last…..Christmas was Christmas of course, and now its time to look forward to another calendar year of life…..I will make an honest attempt next year, to get back on these blogs like I used to…its hard when your life is so boring now….but I do miss you guys….and when I do blog, I usually get such great feedback!!........

***BREAKING NEWS!!!!*** JUST GOT A CALL CONFIRMING HOSTING AND PERFORMING AT A CONCERT FOR SUPER BOWL!!!......GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME!!.......

Hopefully, I can get the band to play if applicable……this is very exciting news to me….I pray everything goes well in this endeavor and a lot of you can come out and see me rock the show…..more details to come!!........

Its crazy how I sit here so many days contemplating retirement……even at the young age of 30, God has blessed me to do so many things…..some successful, while others were learning experiences…..I have tried hard to hold on to the fact that I am touching someone’s life and the things I do are not in vain……there are days when my conviction is weak…..times when I feel the fight is doing more harm than good on my spiritual, emotional, and professional journeys…then there is that subtle reality check……..

Today is Mr. John Rhymes’ birthday…..this is the man that I owe my life to….as a mentor, he was the first adult I can remember that loved me in spite of……even when I was constantly getting kicked out of school, he didn’t scold me like most…..but don’t take that as soft….he just forced me to think about more than the streets…..and I have never been as defiant as more young men in the hood…my grandmother, regardless of our relationship, did not allow me to buck up against her or call her out her name…….I simply left home thinking I could make it by myself…..well, I always had Mr. Rhymes in my corner……

I called him today to wish him happy birthday…I haven’t talked to him in a year and after about the 2nd month of no communication, I felt so guilty, I still didn’t call for fear of hearing disappointment in his voice…yet, when I heard from him today, he sounded excited like it was him that owed me something…all the trepidation was instantly gone…..we talked about what he has been up to and lately, he told me, he has been substituting at an alternative school…now, Mr. Rhymes is retired….he worked for the school system in Flint for a long time…..things happen and he ended up in a classroom…..the point of it all is, the kids and teachers appreciate him…..for everything he has done, he is still touching lives…..his glass half full mentality is infectious even 13 years later after I graduated high school…..and you could hear how humble he was in his voice……..

I don’t know how much longer I have in this industry…..as I mentioned, there are a lot of times that I feel its time to stop…..become regular……in these past few months where shows and opportunities have lessened, I have enjoyed it……but I have gotten really lazy and lax…I still go out, network, make music, and things of that sort…but not like I used to…..and not being a blessing to people bothers me…..its very hard for me to be unimportant…..I strive on making change….I want to make changes in the world……I pride myself on being the best person I can for as many people as I can….and when I am neutral, I have a hermit mentality…I realized, that until that final date, I will do my best to be my best…..

This is my resolution, of sorts…….to never stop being a blessing…to never get too weary to help others….to let my selfishness and bitterness die and the presence of the Lord shine in all my endeavors…..I will not stop, I can not stop….at this moment in my life I feel like a car getting a new engine….no, the old one was not completely dead, but before that happens, my mechanic will place a new engine inside me…..if he does not complete the work, the car cant move…..it has absolutely no value….so I have to get fixed so that I can run smoother…..and help people travel from one place in their lives to the next….after all, I am Spaceship Ohayses!!.......

Well I’m going to get out of here…once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. RHYMES….I love you and I thank you for all that you have done for me….I know without you in my life, I would not be where I am……God Bless you my friend…..

Church!!!

SAM'S CLUB PORTION OF FATE.....

2010-12-15T22:08:00.000-08:00

Its 11:29…..I got me a mocha frappe in my hand…and I decided to write…..how are you all doing?.....I am good…very good right now……to those that are reading for the first time, welcome….to those that have rode with me on this journey for nearly two years, hello……..realistically, I don’t have a clue what to talk about tonight……but I will shortly…..motivation to the left of me……I guess the sole purpose of this blog is to let you all know I am alright…..God has been good to me….and I am anticipating great things in 2011……..dang, 11 years after the world was gonna end?!..........that’s a long time……
Just performed at Kwanzaa Fest this past Saturday…..it was one of the larger crowds, I have had the privilege of performing in front of…..I enjoyed every minute of it…..in my mind, it was a big time venue…..it was a chance to meet new people, interact with local favorites and legends, and get some exposure on a bigger Dallas level…..it helped me to realize that maybe I’m not done yet…..maybe I can get the consumers to respect and want my music…..performances have been so sporadic the past six months, it has been very hard to gauge my audience……but I’m working on it…….
Got a show Christmas Eve……I know that’s a busy time for a lot of people…but if you get the chance, come on out…..it’s at TI Blvd……very special guest will be in the building….I will be hosting as well as performing…..its only 5 bucks…..I think…I will get you details in the upcoming days……
I have finally decided that Act A Fool will be my first single from the album…..I know what you thinking….the album has been out over a year and you just decided on your lead single…..yep…..those are the breaks when It comes to music…..on a tangent, I have learned so much about the business side of this game in the last year, while possibly performing the least in over 3 years……you truly got to have your ducks in a row…..its hard releasing an album when you don’t have one precise song that people can identify you with……yeah, some folks know some songs….I need to get as many people as possible to know this one song……so, this is what we are doing…..
IF YOU ARE READING THIS...NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE….CITY, STATE, COUNTRY……YOU CAN TEXT SPACESHIP OHAYSES “ACT A FOOL” TO 51045 and 3145….it will take you less than a minute to do…..and if you want to hear the song, google me…or go to www.reverbnation.com/spaceshipohayses ....as a matter in fact, I encourage you to…..
I think that is part of the issue I fight within my spirit……not knowing if you know….it’s crazy how we support the things we want….and the truth is, without fans, I am nothing….but have u taken the time to check out the music….seriously?.....we listen to Short Bus Shorty….and Antoine Dodson…..and anything else deemed hilarious…..I, on the other hand, can’t get people I personally know to simply check something out and tell others…..not getting into a pity party here either…its facts….some days I wonder if I am just conjuring up my greatness in music…..and then I have people tell me how they like my music…..but who do they tell…the buck stops with them….I have been at clubs where people come up to me and want a particular song played…..are there people out there asking the DJ does he have Spaceship Ohayses??....am I simply taken for granted because I am not a big name now?.....how many times has my CD been played in people’s vehicles, homes, events?......this is the realistic stance I have to take concerning my artistry……

I have contemplated retiring on many occasions…sometimes, it’s just not worth it……there are plenty days where the risk outweighs the reward simply because I look at what is…..my grandfather taught me never to be a beggar, but am I doing enough?......am I convincing enough to have you take a chance on me?......or am I fighting a fight I can’t win?......is the truth, that I am not as great as I think or has my time passed me by?......I can only make so many sacrifices for my daughter until I realize I have nothing left to give to this industry…….
I look at some of the relationships I have made over this time frame and while some people say they want to be within my circle….in whatever facet…how can I accept that statement knowing you only want to be friends with the man behind Spaceship Ohayses……it’s a package deal here folks…..and no matter who you are, why would u associate yourself with people who don’t support your dream?....I have enough facebook friends..probably too many…..had enough females that just wanted to cut….here, buy a ringtone or something……it baffles me how some just wanna lay and wait to see if I will sink or swim….you mean to tell me you know me but don’t even know a title of one of my songs?...that’s impossible to fathom simply because everyone knows this is my life……
I do think about how many people will come around when God does bless me…….I pray my attitude changes by then….
I think about my mom and other members of my family that will finally forgive me for past sins…..
And to the ladies that didn’t believe in me……or didn’t want to because Lil Wayne is their favorite rapper…….
Sorry folks……some people can tell you that they don’t care what others think about them…but as an entertainer, I do……if you don’t like my brand of entertainment, what am I doing it for?......if you don’t feel the urge to use the simplest for of advertisement; word of mouth, what does that really say about your position on my craft……every ball player doesn’t make it to the NBA….and some of them have been pretty good…..so sooner or later, I may have to accept my fate……I won’t feel defeated…I have tried my hardest to bring to you something good….something different…..something timeless……and all I can do is try…..I have experienced great things along my journey in music……and loved every minute of it…….but the facts remain….if no one is asking for my music, why should a DJ play it?.......if no one is trying to buy it, why should anyone sell it?.......and if no one is listening to it, why should I record it?.........
Love yall!!!!

Church!!!!

THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE.....

2010-12-06T09:14:00.001-08:00

Well, today is the day…..December 6, 2010 marks the one year anniversary of the passing of my grandmother…..today, as I look back on the past year, I wonder if she is looking down smiling on me……and I wonder if she is proud of her grandson…..throughout my life, I have been nothing less than a hard wall, distancing myself from anyone who truly cares and try to get close…actually, anything…..my feelings and emotions included….I always justify feelings as distractions from truth…..sometimes we don’t want the truth; we want comfort…..and to those that know me, understand me…and those that don’t or are attempting to get to know me, I may seem too straight forward…too blunt….to nonchalant…..an too emotionless…..I realized today that, while trying to be a defender of truth and such an honest guy, I have completely been lying to myself……I have no earthly idea who I am or what I want anymore……and for this truth, I am deeply saddened………

As much as I don’t converse about relationships, I do want to be loved……and then I tell myself that maybe…just maybe….I don’t know how to accept love……the problem is not me loving…..the wall that I have is not designed to get me in…..its purpose is to keep others out……and throughout my life, I have experienced reasons for this happening…..the great thing about my grandmother during the final years of her life, was that she finally accepted me for who I was……some people might think that is not a big deal but in my life….in my family, I was never accepted by those my senior……I was always the boy, people were waiting to fuck up so that they could say “we told you so”……I have been gone from home since 1998……rarely coming back……they were no college updates, no “how are you doing”, “what are you doing”, or “we are proud of you”……not even when I got married was my family excited……it was more trepidation of how long will it last……that played a major factor in trying to make it work for me……but shortly after my grandfather passed away, my grandmother and I began to mend our relationship…..(now let me say this: the reason our relationship was scarred was two fold…..more conscious harm was done on my part…I was the cause for a lot of this and my backlash probably made it impossible for my grandmother to do these things earlier…..as kids, sometimes, we always think we are right…I was no exception)…we would converse more frequently…laugh during our talks…..and she would ask questions about my life, Jayla, my music…even asked when I was coming home to visit!!.......it put a smile on my face that I could call my grandmother and she would sound like she missed me…….it really made me push to be a better man…….

And then last year….when she passed, I felt a piece of me stopped…..its like a robot not being completed before the mad scientist dies…..I was close….and now it seems that void has come back….harder….stronger…and taller……there are many days and nights, I just long for her advice…..whether I want to hear it or not……days when I just needed her laugh….to know she was okay……its so cliché to say she’s in a better place….but selfishly looking, am I?.......I was never the type to give empathetic words or try to put myself in other shoes…..and im glad…it kills me how some people think its gonna be okay….and how I just have to cope…..duh!! do I really have a choice…..and even with that statement, I do appreciate the care and also see my wall…..I haven’t coped….don’t know if I have truly dealt with it…….life without her is so different…..it used to be easy not to talk to family members because I knew if I talk to my granny, everyone would know how I am doing……now, I wonder sometimes if my family even knows if I am alive…….

I was just learning how to love…and I was learning how to let love……now I find myself losing in this category once more….that word, love….is thrown around so much but the definition and actions of that 4 letter word is so powerful….when you tell someone you love them, you should mean it……not conditional…not half way….and the definition of your love should be confirmed……nowadays, love is a confusing state of being for me…..what should I love and who should I love…..if love is something that you have never been around, how can you identify it……how do you justify it……and how do react if it leaves……I know there are people that love me…..but why?.....and why should I trust it?.......I have been left in the cold more than I would like so why should I open my heart….why should I believe the word love even exist except in relation to God……his is the only love that unconditional…

each day that passes, I miss you more grandma…..each day that passes, you are appreciated more for you effort to love me….and for the comfort I felt in loving you and allowing you do your job as a parent….it was harder than you can imagine….or maybe not….I pray to see your face again….I know you and granddad up in heaven chillin, probably playing pokeno watching Benny Hinn, laughing at the good times…..and for that I am grateful……..I do indeed love you…..and I am sorry I didn’t learn how to love you sooner……

But you know what they say…in order to love someone, you have to love yourself first……and the first order of loving yourself is confession……..so, here it is…..

To be continued……….

THANK YOU.......

2010-11-26T23:24:00.000-08:00

November 27, 2010

To whom it may concern:

Yeah, you knew I was going to right this…..even if you say you not going to read it, I know you will……you can’t help it…..you love drama….you love the animosity…..you love the attention….and since you do, I am going to give it to you…..this may be the hardest letter I ever had to write……and also the one I wanted to write the most….but I need to get this out….if you ever read any of my blogs, you know how much I have struggled with my inner self…..trying to find the balance between good and evil….trying to understand the answers to all the questions I have in my soul……I want to be a better man…….the funny thing is, you don’t know me……you can say you do, but you really have no clue who I am…..and you have truly never tried…..you like living on rumors and assumptions……you’re the epitome of a mirror……you only look at the world as if it revolves around you……so since you want everything to be about you, here goes…….
You are a self-centered and shallow individual……disrespectful, disobedient, distasteful, and disgusting human being…..you are the exact opposite of what God wants us to be……to some people in your life you have a title…..parent, sibling, child, cousin, and spouse…but besides that, they would wish you out of their lives…..you don’t know how much it sickens me to say this…because I love you….I do give you a title and it is by force; not by choice….I have attempted, because of this, to give you the benefit of the doubt….it’s simply not working…..in the eyes of someone outside that bubble of ties, you are a horrible role model……..I think it’s telling that you keep few friends and even fewer relatives in your circle……you have high turnover ratio for a reason……as hard as I try to say this is wrong to be doing, I recognize that you don’t stopped your pit party to listen to anyone else……so this must be done……..
Maybe I am being partial, but I have never seen a worse parent……its hard for me to act grateful for something I had no control over…..sure, abortion is prevalent, but will you forever remind your kids of this fact?.......I sit back and wonder how a person can live with their parent, take care of their parent, and have to listen to their constant nagging and complaining…..and lets be real…its not like you did a lot for your kids when they were growing up……remember you missed your son’s graduation getting dressed?........I didn’t see you at any of your daughter’s functions……any birthday parties?....how about cards?........just for the record, what did you do?......and its not like your kids don’t love you….they just tired of feeling indebted to you…….
You parents died and somehow you made the funeral about you……made me laugh hearing the young folks betting on how long it would take you to cry….truth be told, most your drama probably drove them to a quicker death…..they were healthier when you wasn’t around……and always talking about how bad they did you…are you freaking kidding me??!!!.....they couldn’t do you anyway, your sheisty ass getting them to sign papers they have no clue what they are signing……bills in everybody name…….even had the gall to say your father wasn’t your father AFTER he dead……. Please, let them rest in peace…..you know how we get quiet when you talk?....its not out of respect……everyone know you lying…….its like you are ashamed of yourself…..but in the process, you push everyone away………
The sad part is you don’t see that….you so busy playing the victim that you don’t realize you have a family that loves you……we don’t want you not to be a part of our lives……we just don’t wanna be blamed for your transgressions…..we are all grown and respect is given when respect is earned……be honest with us……act like you are human and you make mistakes……stop with the pride and haughtiness….I prayed God was showing you something during your last tribulation….and maybe he has….but the display you put on today was the final straw for me……funny thing about it, I’m not mad at ya; more hurt than anything……
Some things you just don’t say………there is a fine line for anyone and I don’t believe that once you say certain things, you can go back……because if I had any respect to mankind, I would not say those things…..I am not unmindful that many people will be reading this so I intentionally kept gender, names , and any other reference out of this letter……there are a lot more things we could discuss in this as well and you know it…..you have been a horrible person in my life and I promise I tried….regardless of what you think…..my reason for this is because I honestly don’t believe you have ever allowed someone to tell you about yourself…and that is something we all need…….back to my thought…….you said some things today that you will never be able to take back….and you didn’t say some things that I will always remember……and you cut me deep…..now my soul is fucked up……
I promise I want to hate you right now……when I first read your letter, I wanted to say some things….and I almost put them in here…..ugh!!!........anyway…….you said goodbye forever…and I know even life in prison is only 20 years……or it was….so I do expect you to come back in my life sooner rather than later…..but I will let you have your moment….I will allow you to do the things you said and never speak to me again…..too bad you can’t control that…..
So I guess I can say, I’m kinda thankful today you are out of my life…..you were a drug…..and now I can flush my system and move on….you are actually helping my process in becoming a better person….I don’t feel bad…and I don’t have any regrets…I tried very hard to love you……it sucks you just don’t see it…..

Until We Meet Again,

Spaceship Ohayses

SHOOTING CRAPS WITH MONOPOLY DICE

2010-11-09T13:56:00.000-08:00

Well look at here…..good afternoon to all my favorite Martians….I hope that you all are well and having an enjoyable week so far…..this is Wise Words of Spaceship and I am your conductor for the evening……lot of things to talk about…..not a lot of time to talk about them…..I will do my best to compete this journey in a timely and efficient matter…sit back…drink all you want now, because if you laugh and spit something on a co-worker, do not blame me!!......and enjoy another edition of Wise Words of Spaceship……

Before I continue, I must embark on something……its hard censoring myself……and being an entertainer, I am learning that there are some things I can and cant say….there are a lot of people that I am now finding out are upset with me over things I may have put in my blog or used as a title……to them, I say with all my heart….YO BAD!!!......I don’t take shots at anyone…sometimes, I may over think things or used things to create something else, but damn!!....stop being so sensitive….and its funny because I rarely use names…….but it still ends up hitting nerves of people……at the end of the day, these same people have tried to defame my name or make me look like the bad guy to people that don’t understand the story…..my grandmother told me time heals all wounds….and now, my wound is healed and I am looking forward to working harder to be the best entertainer I could possibly be…….

I want to talk about Cheerio……lol…..now, on Saturday, Derek Daider had a show in San Antonio in which he gave me the privilege to accompany him….a few more people went with us as well…..as we are sitting in the club, this guy comes by and puts a box of Honey Nut Cheerios by our table…..not going to go into all the details of the night, but needless to say, I remember him…….WE ALL remember him……and whether he was a great performer or he sucked, we have taken his name and presence and brought it to Dallas……it was the absolute funniest thing I have seen from an artist….and also memorable…..I say this because to some, I will be taking shots at him….I commend the artist known as Cheerio simply for embracing his gimmick and doing what an artist is supposed to do…..market himself……I love it…that is a name I will never forget…..it definitely made me wanna step my game up…..maybe I should walk around with a box of crunch berries….

Been doing a lot of soul searching lately…..it seems that I may possibly be going through a mid life crisis…..I will try to contain myself and make this not a sob story….definitely don’t want you to think I need sympathy or anything…..I see myself fluctuating emotions constantly…..you know this is probably the worst time of the year for me…I’m not really a holiday person, plus with the deaths of my grandparents, I’m typically in a very somber mood…..and this year, is no different……..but I am trying…..trying very hard to continue to work through the pain……trying to stay as positive through all the adversity…..trying to grow into the destiny…….and I am starting to see that as I am able to be more positive by not keeping an idle mind……and I have change my emotional diet…..the people I hang around….the people that I choose to feed off of……sometimes we take for granted the importance of a smile and happiness…..everyone is not in your life for cultivation…….and as I grow older and obtain the wisdom that God has in store for me, I am learning that…….
It has taken me about 5 hours to write this and I bet it has gone all over the place with my ideas…..I typically don’t read these back as I let my thought be as they are and appreciate them for what they are…..I want to thank everyone that still looks forward to my readings….I would love it if you could go to www.spaceshipohayses.blogspot.com and just give me a few hits…..it may take a lot of energy for you to do this but numbers are what matters most in society…..also, I just found out I will be performing at Kwanzaa Fest this year!!.....this is a very exciting time for me and something that I have looked forward to doing for a while…maybe this is the breakthrough I need….I am planning on fasting soon, so if you don’t hear from me, know that I am okay and moving into something bigger than even myself…….

I love yall…I really do…..I wished I wrote more like I used to, but life of course has its twist and turns that can not be controlled at times…..

Pray for my homie Veronica yall……she had surgery today and even if you may not know her, you may know someone that needs the prayers she needs right now….and the more prayer, the bigger the blessing…….

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

MARY POPPINS AINT GOT NUTHING ON ME!!

2010-10-26T13:50:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon friends!!...yes I did decide to write today….was actually meaning to write you guys yesterday, but I had a blow out yesterday afternoon and it threw my whole day off……I hope I come to you all in great spirits……its getting close to the holidays, so its about time for the seasons of family and celebration…..a lot of things been going my way lately, and with this past weekend officially over, its time I continue to make positive changes and walk into my destiny……..

As many of you know, Friday marked the three year anniversary of my grandfather’s passing……Saturday, would have been my grandmother’s 74th birthday…….yeah, I know right?......last year on her birthday, she suffered a heart attack and eventually never left the hospital…..needless to say, this was a tough weekend for me……I was a little hurt as well…..I want to thank each and everyone of you that reached out to make sure I was okay…..it really felt good to know you cared…..

But there was some that either didn’t know, didn’t remember, or didn’t call…..and a few of them….whether friends, allies, co workers, or even family members…I really wanted in my loop……and the pain that struck either thinking about it, or conversing with them was weird…should I be upset?.......am I just being selfish?........why do I expect them to care?.......I could not and can not answer these questions…..its an awkward situation to be in…I wanted to be alone, yet I wanted to see who cared?......I was talking to someone the other day and the topic was about caring what people think about us……isn’t that just human nature?...we can say we don’t care, but what if no one recognized our existence?.....acknowledge us for being good in their eyes?......cared if we lived or died?.....I personally think it would have an effect on our psyche…….so I was torn…..and that just multiplied to the emotions I was already having…….

AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT……..Saturday also marked the one year anniversary of the release of No Preservatives…..yes, my album release party was on my grandmother’s birthday last year…it was supposed to be my tribute to them…..and it was…but at the end of the night, I received the news about my granny……I tried very hard to think about one of the greatest nights of my life….it was awesome to all of you that came out to show support……the next album is coming…...I promise….

And this was just this past weekend!!.........and don’t forget the blow out yesterday!!....it would be so easy for me to get down on things…..the greatest of God is that he is providing me with a peace I don’t think I have had before…..something new for me, but its working…..

I was talking to someone today and they pretty much broke down crying about all that they are going through…..now, even with everything I am going through….and it is so much easier to tell folks things than it is to believe it yourself……I still had to lend an ear…to give them words of encouragement and to be of some type of comfort….in the back of mind, I realize that I am not the only one going through things….and even with the things I am going through, somebody may be doing worse………and then they hit me with the “when it rains it pours” phrase……I returned the phrase, adding “that’s why you need an umbrella”…..and that my friends, is the key…….
A lot of times we try to walk through this storm of ours without protective wear….our clothes get wet, and we refuse to change them, thinking that if we let them dry on their own, we will be the same……forgetting about the stench, and weight damp water can leave on garments……are you lost?...okay, let me say it like this…….sometimes, when we are going through, we decide to try to do it ourselves instead of putting on the armor of God…….even if we do fall short, instead of rethinking and altering our plan, we continue to let it weigh us down, wondering why its still happening to us……wondering why our circumstance has not changed……….

Now, don’t think I am sitting here like I know everything….I stress, I get frustrated, I cry, I wonder why me, and all of these things……but I am in the process of putting myself through mental boot camp….I used to be nonchalant about life’s difficulties…..then when they continued to pile on and they overwhelmed me, I didn’t know where to turn to…and honestly my friends, I contemplated suicide…..many times……..

But I am getting with the program now……and thinking negatively is an addiction…..so one day at a time, I have to change my thinking….some days, I have to force myself to think about good things……I have to make myself get out that bed and do something that’s going to make me laugh and smile…..it was easy for me to get messages or phone calls Saturday and when someone asked me how I was doing, I instantly sad something negative….or to just be in my mood……..and at that moment, I may have had to coach myself out of that state…….and with the great friends I have, you guys helped me tremendously……..it was difficult to stay sad talking to half of you idiots!!!..........

So yeah, when it rains, it does pour…don’t mean you have to get wet……get you an umbrella!!.........

I’m learning to continue thinking and saying positive things……if we can think negatively and stuff continues to happen, why can’t it happen the other way around??.....I’m just saying…….

Well, I’m gone…just had to get that off my chest….got a show tonight at Club Mystique in Ft Worth and Thursday at the Skillman Street Pub……I hope I can see a few of you there to support me…….the mojo is coming back…….

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!

2010-10-08T13:29:00.001-07:00

Good afternoon great people!!.....yeah, I am here…..at work too…….hope you all are doing well….weather is changing, time to find that cuddle partner and it’s Friday!!.......I’m feeling pretty good myself…..just realized how bored I am at work today so I decided to check up on yall……..

Life is getting better for me…..you know, had some crazy things happen, but through the greatness of God, I am finding strength…..and its not getting to me like before…..its amazing how you learn about people after your relationship is over…..and I’m not just talking about girlfriend, boyfriend relationship…..over this hiatus I have taken from doing any entertainment, I have learned how much folks really don’t care about you……its all about them…..people that I have helped find shows, hosted for, performed for, worked with, and endured in business decisions with disappear when they find out you don’t have a purpose for them…..I guess that’s a lesson I should have already known…..I find it funny and sad how some people can act like they need you, but if you don’t do what they want you to, its so easy for them to dispose of you…..even in the sporadic thoughts that my blog has given over the past 2-3 months, I am still finding people taking my words out of context and being messy about them…..on one hand, at least they still have my name in their mouth…..but on the other, I’m human and its hard to fathom someone lying on you for the sole purpose of curing their own embarrassment…...and yes, if you feel like I am talking to you this time….I AM!!....

At the same time, I have found myself healing some scarred relationships that I may have damaged myself…..and with God guiding my words, I have been able to sever some hard feelings.....no, not in the sense that we are bff’s again…..but at least forgiving on both parts have taken place……and it’s a good feeling….once again, I am human and I do not like to be the source of someone’s ill will or frustration…..don’t even like being around if I know I put a damper on one’s spirit……its just me.....right, wrong, or indifferent, I want to make the world a better place…not be someone that folks don’t like to be around…..except at work, where I really don’t care!!!.........

Its almost been 2 years since my grandfather passed……October 22nd……1 year since my album release party….October 23rd……and one year from my grandmother’s birthday and her untimely heart attack…October 23rd as well….thinking about taking off work for a few days…..don’t think I would like to deal with it here at work….I am already cranky and not knowing if I will explode leads to believe that I don’t need to be at work on those days……its funny because as much as I think I about their passing’s, I still don’t know if I have dealt with it….but then again, how do I?......what is the appropriate way to deal with the passing of your parents…and yes, I do recognize them as my mother and father because of all they have done for me…..and the things they taught me along the way….I may not have paid attention to them then….but I have never forgot anything they said to me…..

Now, my mom may read this and if she does, I will probably get a phone call asking why I put something like that in my blog……I will tell u why…..its the truth….not going to go into too many details but I hope she doesn’t call or read this….my mind is not in a place to be tactful……
I had a show last night at the Skillman Street Pub and I must admit…it was one of my favorite shows I have performed at down here…..you might think “what’s the big deal?”…but for me it was a big deal….I left there and went to the Curtain Club to go chop it up with Fiend……he used to performed with No Limit back in the Day if you remember…no I didn’t go to see him perform……or to be a groupie… HE CALLED ME….and that in itself was a great feeling……but I was thinking….I don’t take a lot of pictures with celebrities…I mean, I am around them a lot….talk to them pretty frequently....and are even on first name basis……I wonder if I should photo drop some artist to prove I am in the loop…..like last night…I sat in VIP with him watching folk shaking hands and hugging him and just standing around him and I’m like ugh!!.......wasn’t that serious to me….but maybe…just maybe….I should think outside MY box….I mean, I fucks with Supa K and Keynote from the radio station and when I bring them up in conversation, I have seen chicks panties get wet!!...I’m like “they are so regular people!!”…..when has been a groupie ever been a good thing??

Been a very proud father lately….Jayla is in Pre-K and to see the growth…to hear the growth and to acknowledge that growth is a beautiful thing…..she is truly becoming a woman as much as she talks but I love every minute of it…..I remember her being born and now she is going to school……Stephanie has been getting on my butt about spending more time with her, not because I don’t….its now 3 women in their household….and no matter what you say or think, 3 women in a house is never good……too many attitudes….and I think she gets the needed discipline at my house…..I told someone the other day, I think that’s the only thing I like about being in my financial rut…….spending time with Jayla…I cant afford to buy her happiness…..we do things like watch movies, make puppets, go to the park, read, or we just sit there and I listen to her…..and the great thing is, she is appreciative……at that moment, I am all that matters to her….and in this world of childish grown folks, haters, groupies, whiners, complainers, pessimist, and naysayers, she gives me the motivation to continue to push on………

Well I am going to blow out of here…….pray for my sister Charita…she was in a car accident….don’t know the details yet, but prayers are always encouraged……

I really do miss you all……to the ones that I do talk to on a regular or even semi-regular, I thank you so much…..I am learning that we don’t realized the power we have in uplifting folks…..and to each and everyone of you, I thank you for continuing to uplift me……sometimes I do feel like I am letting people down……and sometimes you tell me to continue to have patience…so I endure……and none of you will be forgotten…..

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!!

I AM A REAL AMERICAN!!

2010-09-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

Wow….I’m here…..don’t know where I came from…just decided to be here today…….few things to talk about….feel like just blabbing…..how are you all doing today?......I hope life has been treating you all well….me…I don’t even know..and I say that honestly……..some days are good….some days are woeful….and every day I learn something new…..I know I am very close to getting over this hump….just don’t know when…….when I am traveling, I look forward to the next big city be it 100 or 400 miles away……on this journey, I have see no landmarks until I reach it…….there are no major cities…..just a straight shot….in the dark…….and barely a headlight…….

My comprehension is not strong as in where this journey will take me…….I do pray every day that I become a better man out of it……sucks going to school and realizing you didn’t learn anything……I’m trying to be more honest with myself…..without hurting others in the process……..I say it’s tough…….it’s hard to be totally open while having so many flaws……so I truly thank each and every one of you that are still sticking by me…..for those I have lost, I do apologize and I hope reconciliation can take place…..as our journeys have crossed for a reason, we are sure to find a mutual ground as we cross with our separate burdens…….

I don’t plead for your sympathy….nor do I ask that you feel sorry for me…..as I know everything happens for a reason…..without causing any offense, I know that everyone can’t take the load I have been given….and as hard as the struggle may seem to me, good will eventually come out of it and I will be able to rest….but without work, there is no rest…..there is no time to sit idle while I see the destruction of an industry we all had a passion for…..and in that, I have failed…..

There is a vicious cycle that occurs when one gains some sort of achievement….it is called complacency…..it happens to the best of us….or…the worst of us…….I tried my hardest to stay in the streets, but due to the lack of my pulse, the Open Mic Night, I started dying…..I allowed my personal situation to conflict with my business situations…….mixing business with personal…….and I didn’t compensate for my love of this entertainment industry……so without that, I allow myself to stay in my conundrum……it’s coming up on a year since the album was released….how many completed songs have I made since then?...none…….in fact, my show opportunities have digressed, performing and hosting……why is that??............

I could blame it on the loss of Ja-Roq, going to jail twice, the loss of my grandmother, finances, relationships, or any other problem…but when it boils down to it; it’s me……now, I refuse to shoot you all a pity party, but seriously??..........I have to change my thinking……….and it’s the hardest thing I have ever had to do………

I miss socializing with you guys…..miss getting drunk, kicking it, talking about tea bagging and taking million of pictures……we were the glue to the streets….we kept Dallas hip hop going…….so I will make my pledge to do good bye you all….the ones that believes in me…….the ones that believed in me……..and the ones that will believe in me………….

Soooooooo..In other news…..what’s up with Bishop Long?........what is he doing messing with lil boys?......and wasn’t he or isn’t he one of the most anti-homosexual advocates in America??.......I’m just saying….what was he thinking??.......if for nothing else, YOU DON’T SEND EVIDENCE LIKE THAT!!...... you don’t like gay people but you sending homo erotic picture mail??......just for being a hypocrite, if the allegations are true, you should be vilified…….tsk, tsk……

Man, I almost punched my boss in the face today!!!.......it’s like he wants me to say something to get fired……but I’m not……I know what kind of person he is and on some many accords, he is right…….it’s just like he’s picking……I have to figure out a way to ignore him but not be rude about it…..I think that’s a big thing for me…saying things and not being rude about it……I don’t need to mean all the dog gone time…..

Happy birthday Mama C!!!!......if yall don’t know anything about me know that I love Mama C…she has been a God send in my life and definitely with the passing of my grandmother……she has been someone I can talk to and someone I can depend on to give me more wisdom….you don’t meet people like this every day and I know some people think our relationship is crazy……and you know what…it is…that's why it is so great!....happy birthday Mama C…Spaceship Ohayses loves you!!!.........

Before I go, I have to tell you about this cat at work……so I see him one day on break and he tells me he needs a place to stay…something happened and me being the person I am and knowing where I came from, I told him he could crash on my couch…..dude instantly started talking about being roommates…..ugh!!.......he texted me more than D’Lyte with promo information……it was a crazy situation….even after I informed him that I couldn’t do it..because in a conversation he got upset about me telling him he would have to leave when I left……..he still acted like he was moving in…..so one day I saw him and I started running the opposite way…….about five minutes later, I receive a text……it stated, “I was going to tell you that I found somewhere to stay, but you were running like you stole something.”……nah fool, I was running from you!!........

I’m gone..time to eat some spaghetti…….remember, I love each and every one of yall…rather you hate me or don’t even know me……

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

CLASH OF THE TITANS

2010-09-09T23:44:00.000-07:00

So it’s 12:27 in the morning……and I am supposed to be sleep…..kinda surprising I’m even at home but I really needed to catch some rest…..and here I am up…..but I think it’s for a reason…..so I’m sitting in my room, watching some comedy and relaxing my mind into greener pastures…..and I figure I should check up on you guys…..I really don’t know why I don’t blog as much……I’m on the computer as much at work…but I guess it’s that I just don’t want to be on one thing like I need to be…to keep my focus….I find that some of my writings are very spotty when I have to constantly stop and start back…..s/n…I think I am learning to type without looking at the keys all the time…and I can use both hands…….that’s major for me..I have always been a pecker!!.......so how have yall been?........I’m actually excited that you all will be waking up and reading this………maybe it can help start your day in the right manor…….
Well let me get yall up to date with me…….because tonight’s edition really isn’t about me….per se……it’s more about life..the same pattern that I have been writing from as of late…..crazy seeing the evolution of this thing……well, I just got out of jail…AGAIN…for the same crap I went for in March……so needless to say, the saga is continuing……not hosting any open mics as of right now……how do I feel about that?......not really sure….some days it’s cool…I actually like that I can go around and chop it up with folks…..if they allow, I perform…….I even get on the mic when the opportunity presents itself…..but I like not have the crybaby drama the open mics were becoming……..and I felt the bigger it got, the more I was cheating those that really made what we did great…….
Got some things brewing though…so be on the look out……don’t really wanna get into everything but I will…..now since I have written tonight, it may become easier for me to do this regularly…..I am thinking about opening up my kitchen on the weekend……what do you think?.....meatloaf or pork chop plate, 2 sides, rolls and pop for the $8?..........sounds good to me!!........may need some delivery people…….
Anyway, thanks to a good friend of mine…..who I just realized puts me on a lot of eye opening things…..I watched some documentaries on the rap version of the illuminati……very interesting stuff…….I am not sure the validity of all that I read but I do think there is something very probably about this hypothesis……Jay-Z has been very questionable to me for a minute and some strings were tied together….amazingly enough, most of the videos do depict Shawn Carter as the leader of this illuminati……
Now the point I’m hoping to make is about our kids……its weird thinking how our music has changed….I want to state that even as an artist, I do not want you to think I am hateful toward the brand of music there is in society…….I like some of it….key word: SOME…….I remember back in the day how music just made you feel good……and even when it didn’t, it didn’t necessarily want you to hit a person for stepping on your shoes…..it didn’t tell you what to wear…how to think……the rhythms and grooves of music from the older eras, gave you a feeling of happiness…..it gave you a sense of power over your life……
Now music is geared towards the artist wanting power of your life…rap music was not developed for warfare, in whatever facet..it was a voice of the people that lived the streets and maybe could sing well……it was an expression of the slums, the ghettos, the recognizable tone of the struggle…….if you wanted to battle, meet me on a box and beat me at breaking……..it was about getting somewhere….now, it’s all about being there……if you don’t have it, you are a nobody……..it’s not about the grind to achieve…its what we do when we achieve……..seriously….how many bitches did we hear in rap music……..besides west coast music…….how many drug lords were we?.........how many countries did we have estates in?.........now there wouldn’t be such a problem…..IF ARTIST LIKE MYSELF ARE NOT SUCH BIG ROLE MODELS!!........and yes, I know some of my music is not for all kids……I’m saying…we have to have a balance as adults..sorry, it may not sound fair but it’s the truth……you can make a radio edit but the hook still says “live fast and die young?”…..wtf??........our future is in a no win situation………
With society so microwavable, our youth are not learning how to accomplish these dreams…all they are learning is what to have to be considered “something” in this world……so they have to get it…by hook or by crook…and by hook, I’m meaning music…….it’s not the art of hip hop anymore…..it’s the vicious cycle of “well, if they gonna give me a deal, I’ma take it”……..and who do we blame?.....the artist wants the money…the record label wants the power……and the record company wants the respect………we are so confused as to who to lay blame that eventually, we resign out feelings………
So we go on…..listening to the same music…letting out 3 year olds drop it low…….meaning the lyrics when “ I Hate You Bitch” or “I’m Wasted” comes on in the club…waiting on the bootleg man to come to the hair and nail shops on the weekend to get that new Lil Wayne…….I can dig it..I love it to……..
But what are we taking time to teach the ones that only know this way of life?....they don’t have role models except the ones on 106 and Park…we too busy watching reality shows with our kids missing a chance to explain what’s really going on to laugh at the white girl..……and why are we steady assuming they should know better…….
Or am I the one tripping??
Okay…..okay..I’m sleepy….just wanted to rant……ima let yall go..have a great Friday!!!

Love yall!!!!!

Church!!!

CALLED A PSYCHIC HOTLIINE AND FORGOT WHAT I WANTED!!!

2010-08-30T13:41:00.000-07:00

1. I’m alive and breathing.
2. My daughter is alive and breathing.
3. I have a roof over my head.
4. I have clothes.
5. I know God.
6. I have a job.
7. I have a goal/destiny/plan.
8. I love my family.
9. I have my health and my strength.
10. I have the world’s greatest friends.
11. I’m not in jail.
12. I have food.
13. My daughter looks to me as a role model.
14. My daughter’s mom is great.
15. I have an album online for purchase.
16. I host some of the biggest clubs in the DFW Metroplex.
17. I have graduated from college.
18. I have been a school teacher.
19. God provides for me when I doubt myself.
20. I am able to write this blog.

Its amazing that I can write about 20 things that I thank God for but yet spend many a nights wondering why I feel like my life is spiraling out of control……..good afternoon ladies and gentlemen……I hope I come to you in great strength……..miss writing you all and I actually have been trying to get this post out……been actually….gasp!...working at work…yes, I know its getting cold in hell……..give a brother credit for trying once in a while……..lots has been going on……sometimes little has been going on…….in the meantime, I have still been Spaceship Ohayses, the Incredible……

I truly have been wanting to blog about this for a while now…….last week, I had a great epiphany about my life and even though towards this past weekend I got very week, I think I am putting things into a better perspective…….I had someone very close to me give me the notion that they wanted to kill themselves recently and everything and every reason I gave them for not giving up, I had to swallow as well…….over the past two years, I have been through more storms than I could ever remember and I don’t know why…..been told I’m not the same guy from high school, college, or even after my marriage……and I agreed with them……because I know I am not…..I have shown major flashes or mental defeat…it got so bad that even when things were looking up, I still made a mountain out of a mole hill……..and it wasn’t even on purpose…..I had conditioned myself to believing all was bad……so I had to write it down and make it plain……most of these things that I am thankful for are tangibles…..everyday items……these don’t even include the blessings that occur everyday…..doors opening…..great shows…..Jayla learning an new word or how to write or something like that……and now I truly am in the process of reprogramming my mind…yes, I have become damaged……..
I don’t think the same…..I am very pessimistic about a lot of things…..even though I claim to be a child of Christ…….is it fear?...and if so, of what?.......is it pain?.......there are many different reasons to why I have changed my disposition so drastically……and right now, I have to ask myself if I want to figure out why……or just try to flush them out of my memory and become brand new……its tough feeling like this……I have always been a blunt and somewhat mean person, but I don’t want to end up being the person that pushes everyone away……..I don’t want to be the guy that cant find love because he doesn’t love himself…….I refuse not to live my dream of having a loving family…….but it starts with me……and I recognize that……the reality of it all…..through words and breakthroughs…..is that everybody in your life is not good for you….no matter how much you may love them, hate them, care for them, or admire them…….I was told I have a short fuse…..I realize my tolerance for bullcrap is low……and in that lies a problem…..sometimes in my haste to judge a person, if I hear something that resembles a past hurt, I instantly tune it out…….I walk away……without giving it a chance…….and that can cost me…because no two people are alike……and no two scenarios have the same outcome…….so I must distance myself from the feelings that cause me to close up….I strive to be greater tomorrow……..

Okay….I think I am done venting……have I written yall since Jayla started school??.....its an amazing feeling…..now, I know I am her dad, but once I went to meet the teacher, I really had that parent feel in my soul…….and so far, she loves it….I am hearing her speech increase…..manners getting better…..and I always thought she would be a wiz…JUST LIKE HER DADDY!!......so I am too in the process of going back to school……..

And not for a degree…..well, at least for my certification….some of you may know that I used to teach high school English before I started this new venture….and I used my music as my reason for quitting….well, financially and emotionally, its not working…..so I’m going to go back and do it right…so I can get a good job in my field and work hard at being a great teacher….with the continued experience, I should have more avenues open for my youth center…….and that is a bigger priority of mine……

Make sure you follow me: www.twitter.com/spaceshipo you know I love to hear from the masses…..

Well I guess its check out time…..got a meeting to go to………

Love yall!!!

Church!!!

THE BLIND SQUIRREL FOUND HIMSELF A NUT!!

2010-08-19T18:03:00.000-07:00

Good evening ladies and gentlemen……welcome to the Wise Words of Spaceship…I am your host, Spaceship Ohayses the Incredible…….bringing to you the best in blog thoughts and animated opinions…..for some, this will be a welcome…to others, a welcome back……I know I don’t write like I used to…and I miss it somewhat…..but the break was needed……..sometimes I get to wrapped up with being Spaceship and not enough time is put into being me……..and then things go awry……..so I have to make time to love my star player…as Katt Williams put it……..too many times, I have been sop worried about making others happy that I forget about the most important person in my life……and that’s not a knock on anyone……except myself………

Thinking about going back to teaching…..my excuse for leaving was that I needed more time to focus on Essential Entertainment, my music, and the business in general…thought I would be too consumed to try to handle teaching and being a performer…..and I know going back into that realm will probably affect it in some manor……but I’m tired of struggling…..I’m tired of living check to check while promoters give you crumbs because they think it will keep you quiet….I’m tired of not being happy at work…..I’m blessed and thankful to have my job, but this isn’t my calling……pushing a pen, not being able to educate the future and being that driving force behind someone’s success is killing me……I need the drug of helping other’s...in some shape, form or fashion…..I help people here…….just not like I want to…..or I need to……sometimes, I feel like the calling God has placed on my life is in vain….and I blame myself….been taking the easy way out for too long……..

And its due to me becoming lazy…..people are taught things everyday…it’s the retention of things learned that makes you valuable…..and I have been living off my own knowledge for a while….I can remember even in high school…I did my work….I got good grades…but I prohibited myself from learning…….in college it was the same thing…and that was with people in my life that were there to teach me…now that I am older, I have slacked on seeking the knowledge I need to survive accordingly…..maybe its my ego…..subconsciously, maybe I consider myself a know it all……a person that always thinks he is right……and that is going to be a mighty fall if I don’t get it together….one of the great things about teaching and being around others that strive for greatness is the opportunity to learn from them…..and when you hang around people that want better, you should…in most instances…want better as well…..its when we are around people that have no focus or vision…..or even simply ourselves sulking….that we don’t see the bigger picture in life……

I was told I sounded depressed lately…..and I totally agreed with this person….this was from someone that knew me in college….happy go lucky….always with a joke and a smile….always trying to be better was I………now, I find myself wishing for better instead of making better happen…..and I have to take a detour off this road……most days, I saw myself wanting to be happy…..but allowing one minute thing to change my disposition…..and not knowing how to get it back…whether it was at work…….at a show…..dealing with associates…or women…….my fuse has become a lot shorter for tomfoolery……..and as easy as it is to say we don’t do drama…since that is the quote for 2010…some of us……..hand raised right here…….don’t always know how to deal with it at times…….and sometimes, we don’t separate it from adversity….we bunch it all together and would rather ignore it than deal with it so it wont come back……see you can put a blanket over a pile of dirty clothes but you still have dirty clothes…..instead, I need to learn how to wash my hands of it so that it will not be there anymore……

I also recently joined a church……yes…..I joined a church……its been about 5 years since I called a church my home and went regularly…….but I feel comfortable there….and I feel that’s where I need to be……….in all honesty, I was terrified…my last church home really let me down and I was in this state where I didn’t want that to happen again…….I think a lot of my emotional instability stems from this…..I let one situation dictate my life, even though it has nothing to do with my present or future……by distancing myself away from God, due to an issue I had with man, maybe that’s why I wasn’t receiving the blessing I coveted…….I began to idolize the man instead of my Father…..big mistake by me…..but the great thing is, He has forgiven me and now, I can move forward with the things he wants me to do…….now the pastor at this church thinks I’m Kirk Franklin or something…..he always wants me on the mic during the music portion of service…..I informed him…..I am a hip hop star…not a singer…..he doesn’t care about that!!!!...he wants me to use the gifts I was given to praise the Lord…..so it’s a new thing……I told someone today how ironic it would be if my first #1 hit was a gospel song…..sounds far-fetched don’t it……..hmmmmmm……

So as you see, soul searching has been done…..I long to write you guys everyday….but in reality…my life has been about as boring as waiting in a jail cell for a doctors appointment…….surely, I will have more as my life has taken a turn for the best…thinking about writing a new album……going back to get this teaching certification….and finishing this year on a good not…God has been good to me…..I haven’t shown the appreciation I should……..acknowledgement is a start…….you cant go to rehab if you don’t think you have a problem……..got some shows next week so if you would like to come check me out, feel free to hit me up about them…….oh I am on twitter a lot lately….finally figured out how to put the app on my phone…so hit me there as well…. www.twitter.com/spaceshipo ........and unlike other celebrities, I will always respond to you……if my phone doesn’t freeze…damn Smartphone’s!!.........

Love yall!!!

Church!!!!!!

I'M ACCEPTING MY CANDIDACY!!!

2010-08-09T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well what do you know……Spaceship Ohayses is here…have no fear!!!......how is the world treating you all today?......I know you guys are probably missing my blogs…and guess what??...they miss you too!!.......but I haven’t found that groove like I used to…….I promise one day I will get it back……..then again, I kinda like not having that weight of having to put a blog out everyday……don’t know how long this one will be either……didn’t know I was going to write one but seeing how I don’t feel like working the rest of the day, it gives me something to do……gotta stay a little longer than my schedule due to getting to work a few minutes past my scheduled time……like an hour and a half late…but its all good…….im going to make sure I make up the time so we wont have any problems………

What a weekend!!....I don’t know what else to say…I truly believe God has a sense of humor unlike any of us……I remember a song my grandmother used to sing….”he may not come when you want Him, but He’s on time”……sometimes, I think I should have bought a watch from the same store he did…….it seems that he waits until you are right at that breaking point and then pulls you back into his arms…….makes me think back to the first time I tried to learn how to swim…..I was calm, followed directions, and did everything my instructor asked me to do…….and then she let me go……and I continued to sink…and the more I sunk, the more frustrated I got….I started flapping my arms…..gasping for breath…….screaming for desperate attention…there is no way she is just going to sit there and let me drown…..is it?.......I could stop…the more I screamed and flailed, the more I succeeded in drowning….then just when I think I should give up and let myself go, she grabs me…….pulls me out of the water…..wipes me with a towel and laughs…..now who is this funny too again?.........

And that’s our lives in a nutshell…..he tells us we can do it….sits us out in that water and waits……and we began the panicking process on our own…..and the more we panic, the more desperate the situation seems…..and even when he pulls us out, we are too busy being mad about what transpired than to give recognition to the one that saved us……how grateful am I?......ugh!!......reflection sucks sometimes……..

So last night I go up to the Green Elephant for the freestyle battle…..now, I usually go to this charity event just to support my partners, the Red Eye District and rub shoulders with a few Europeans…..man, they love to get drunk!!!......I go up there and perform with one of my homeboys from another group, MoMu…….I don’t ever think I am going to win a freestyle battle…im too wordy……with battles, you need to get to the point and I think too much to put it all down within 30 seconds…….but I kept my word and went out there…..the one thing I don’t like about there shows is that they start late…I have to say that because I was ready to go by the time the battles started…..but I went ahead anyway….now depending on who you ask, I was either one of the best battlers last night or on a very lucky string….even I don’t think I did too great….I mean, I felt that I had better punch lines in other competitions but came up short……well, we won……and as much as I was not going to go…..I was so out of it this whole weekend…I went and put some unexpected dollars in my pocket…..faith without works is dead!!!!.........

Its crazy how perception of life changes when things are going well……that’s a very selfish trait…and yes I am guilty of it…….when I am down, I become secluded…..everything bothers me….and I would prefer not to share my joys or failures with anyone…..just like on these blogs….most of you know my mood swings…and there are times when I just don’t want to write…maybe its because I don’t want to be negative and spoil other people’s days…….I would rather teach, encourage, and make a person feel better about themselves……not wishing it was something they could do to help or make someone feel bad about me……that’s a party I don’t want to attend…..I am learning to open up…and not just on here….I have realized that since my granny passed, I don’t talk to anyone about things that go on in my life……..and it catches up to me…I feel drained a lot….stressed even more…and angry all the time……

Now the hard part is knowing how to pick up the pieces….how to open up and love once again…..how to trust someone with my well being……I used to think it would be okay to die lonely…..and I think that’s how I lived my life……I think it has to do with the fact that I don’t like being a disappointment……that’s one of my issues…..I hate failure…on any scope or facet…..but I am learning failure is a part of life……nobody wins all the time……..

WELL AS WE ALL KNOW, EACH FRIDAY WE HOLD A PRELIMINARY GROOVE AT MURPHYS PLACE……THIS FRIDAY WILL BE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME…..WE ARE RAISING MONEY FOR MY DJ, DJ LADY JA-ROQ……..I NEED EVERYBODY TO COME OUT AND SUPPORT THIS EVENT…….SOMETIMES, WE HAVE TO PULL TOGETHER TO HELP ONE ANOTHER OUT AND THIS IS A CALL OF ACTION……..9410 WALNUT STREET….DOORS OPEN AT 9, FREE FOR EVERYBODY UNTIL 10:38!!!........DJ BLASTT ON THE 1S AND 2S………I WILL SEE YOU THERE!!!

Well I am about to go…..shout outs to everyone that continues to support me…..I am now active on twitter so go ahead and follow me…if you think I am funny on here…you haven’t heard anything yet!!...im calling out everybody!!!...... www.twitter.com/spaceshipo

Love yall!!!!!!

Church!!!

SWIZZ KEYS WIT A CHICO STICK

2010-08-03T14:15:00.000-07:00

Soooooo….I can honestly say I had no intentions to write today…….but here I am…thanks to Consuelo hounding me…and I love it……how are you all doing today?.....I am and have been well…been going through a major transitional period in my life…..and lately, I have been at the place where I am letting the chips fall where they may…..in reality, I don’t know what’s going on……it feels like a down period in the entertainment field…..and maybe that’s a good thing…….I needed to step away for a minute…still doing some things….but not as much as I should or I could...the funny thing about that statement is that its an unintentional main idea for this edition of Wise Words of Spaceship…….and the reason for my epiphany…..

Good friends aren’t nice……and I don’t think they should be….we spend so much time having the truth camouflaged by what people THINK we want to hear…..as a society, we spend a lot of time stroking egos and making sure we are accepted…….I think my social circle is small because of this fact…I have yet learned how to fake liking somebody…..this may be a good thing. May be a bad thing…none the less, it helps me identify the grey areas in my personal relationships…..even Jayla, in all her innocence will tell me when she doesn’t approve of something about me…whether its my breath, my clothes, needing a hair cut, or the wrong shoes…….and I love her for it……….

Now a lil back story about Ohayses……..I was raised by my grandparents as we all know…..and even though they were prevalent, I truly raised myself……when something needed to be done, I was typically the one handling business……even at 15 years old, I recall needing to take sports physicals…..I couldn’t wait on my grandmother to give me the money…I played tunk, won it, and got the physical done……she just reimbursed me……if someone didn’t do anything that benefitted me, if didn’t like an article of clothing anymore, even if I wanted to move residency, I did it…..without confirming with anyone and at the blink of an eye……..I was a piece of loose leaf paper....wherever the wind took me and my mental state of mind on a particular date, I went…without thinking or caring where I would be next……..

I see my life as a tree without roots…….my roots were never truly solid into the ground in the first place……..it was hard for me to see growth because of this…I never had a measuring stick….I never paid attention to where I had been……or where I was going…..all I knew is I was going to get there……on a journey with no map if you will…..without these roots, maybe I wasn’t getting the nourishment I needed to grow correctly……without these roots, I was never able to truly establish a legacy……yes I was a tree, but a tree not growing is a dead tree……….

So what am I saying?.........I am taking a closer glance at my life….I see that one of my flaws has been my persistence…….it does take hard work to see great results……..and I am very good at starting the work…..my flaw is completing it……in whatever facet…..and that is the main reason that I have not walked totally into everything God has for me……hearing this from a friend sucked……at the same time, it was refreshing…for so long I wondered what it is that I am missing in my life…….what is it that I am not doing that is stopping me from reaching my destiny……..its not so much what I am not doing…its what I am not doing on a consistent basis…….I have all these great ideas, plans, and dreams bottled up in me…I have a great family within Essential Entertainment that believes in me…it is I that lack sometimes and there, my friends, is where I fail…….

Sometimes its hard recognizing that I don’t know myself…..im used to being invincible and always succeeding....but what happens when natural talent just doesn’t do it?.......I am finally at a place where I have to sit back and pay attention….been living reckless way too long……been getting by just barely…and now it has taken a toll……now is the time for me to rectify the mistakes I have made….now is the time to admit my faults to myself and do all I can to improve them…..

Persistence….patience……drive…and a passion…..those things I have to grasp and truly shoot for….im not getting younger and the things I long for…..financial security…a better relationship on my behalf with God….a family……my own youth center…are attainable….its up to me….its time to stop lying to myself and living inside the bubble I feel secure in……..

Please don’t take this as a sad story….its a great feeling to know where my mishaps are…I am learning to listen to others and become a better person for it……..self reflection only goes so far………….

Love yall!!!!!

Church!!!!!

J.O.S.E

2010-07-28T14:35:00.001-07:00

Hidey ho my fellow abnormals!!!......I hope you all are doing and feeling good this Wednesday afternoon…..I have been sleepy since my arrival to Earth this morning……I partied very hard last night…maybe too hard for a Tuesday night…nonetheless, I am alive and kicking…with only a few hours left in my work day……..

Been noticing a few things…..if you know me, you know I notice a lot of things…..but that’s a different angle…..there is a war going on outside that no one is safe from…..its an epidemic far worse than disease and is much more detrimental the younger you are…..my friends, I present to you….JEALOUSY……..

Last night I went to the club for a gala event…..and it was poppin!!......I really enjoyed myself…..during the night I notice two groups chant battling as the music played….it was cool....I know both acts rather well…and I figured it was pretty harmless advertising….well one of the groups got on stage and had a pretty awesome show…during their performance, the other group continue with the chanting…..now, in my opinion, I did feel this was disrespectful…give them the floor and shut up….but I didn’t say anything……after said group got off stage, an argument ensued…….why you may ask?...well one of the members of the group not performing felt that the group performing was talking about them……he swore it was freestyle…..I couldn’t help but laugh…….in the mist of his rant, he stated though, that “ they think they all that anyway!!”…….how does he know….and furthermore, why does he care??.........at the end of the day, unnecessary pepper spray, people being kicked out the club, And a group not being able to perform was the result……all because of…………

My homeboy met this girl AT THE CLUB…….they have been talking for about two months and everything was going well…….one day, he explains, he tells her his displeasure for her going out on the weekends with her female friends…….even though he works most evenings……..this put a strain on their relationship……well one Friday, she tells him that she was going out and he decides to take off work……he goes to the club before she gets there and finds a place to scope her every move……she walks in the club and proceeds to have a great time…..while at the bar, a guy approaches her….they laugh and my friend is pissed……for 5 minutes, he stares at her talking to this guy and enjoying his company….he cant take it anymore…..he bull rushes over there and proceeds to grab her wrist…..the other guy at the bar spins him around and hits him so hard he wish he was a pillow……….he falls to the ground, security comes to escort him out and he screams that she is “a bunch of curse words”…….later on, he finds out that was her brother…….got his ass whooped all because of…………………..

Man been working at the same job for 10 years…his best friend at the workplace has been there 5…..most days, they go to lunch together, sit by each other and knows each others family well……the guy that has been there for 10 years reads that there is an opening for a higher ranking position at the job…so he applies…..he tells his friend to apply as well….better percentage I assume……well, the friend gets the job……and the 10 year vet is fuming……he feels in his heart he has more credentials, more experience, and is a better worker……..the relationship strained, one day he flies off the handle at work and every minute thing that has happened in their relationship is exposed…….the whole company is shocked at what they are hearing…because he did it in front of everybody…..while online looking for a new job, the 10 year vet realizes he lost his occupation all because of……………………….

And these are some instances…don’t get it wrong….a lot of times I think we miss our blessings because we are too worried about others…..I learned a long time ago that when you see someone getting blessed, thank God……that means he is still in that line of work…….but what do we do?...we get upset and find ways and reasons to bring each other down…….our minds are so messed up, we will do what we can to spoil a mood if it is not beneficial to us…….arguing before our mate goes out or has something important to do……not supporting each other…….hearing and not listening…..a total lack of care for mankind…..praying for downfalls……..there are many ways we are jealous of others…and many ways we don’t realize we are acting jealous…..as great as life is; its not that serious people….lets worry only about our own progression and encourage others…….life isn’t a competition all the time….sometimes you have to be willing to share the wealth………don’t get caught up angry at the world all because of…………

Well, this wraps up this edition……I love yall…..I hope you enjoyed this reading….sometimes I know what I want to write about and sometimes I just write…..today was a little bit of both….im getting fed up seeing the bull crap…..especially in the industry I am in……lets support and love one another…..realize that your next breath is not promised to you……..

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT I WONT STOP!!!

2010-07-27T14:44:00.001-07:00

Wow……I’m actually writing today…..I missed you guys so much…..really didn’t have anything constructive to talk about…..been doing a lot of reshuffling in my life….nothing major…just had to focus on being a better man……and with that, I had to give a few things up……how have you all been?....I hope to find you all in good spirits and as joyful as possible…….I’m good…ready to get off work…..like always…I guess the more things change, the more things stay the same……..

I want to sincerely thank everyone for their concern……not being funny when I say this…but I truly didn’t think this many people cared…..there became a point when I let my own insecurities take me away from the joys of life…..I begin to believe that the blog was only for my entertainment…in a way, I began to take them for granted…..I guess you never really know how many lives you touch by putting a magnifying glass to your own issues…..I want to give a special thank you to my strength and conditioning coach, Derek Daider…….even though we work together on this Essential Entertainment journey, he was there as a big brother, refusing to let me stay in my rut regardless of circumstance…..no homo….I love you bro…….

Been going to church on a regular lately…..and to be honest, sometimes I haven’t wanted to go….it seems as if Jayla knows if she is staying at my house, church is on the menu….so she makes sure I am awake and I get my butt up and go to church every Sunday…..what more can u ask for in a daughter you know??........it was funny because Stephanie forgot her car seat this past Saturday and she was upset!!.....I mean, if we could understand everything she was saying, she probably cursed her mom out……she was not happy about possibly missing church…..but that’s the push I need sometime….it would have been easy for me to roll over and go back to sleep…..but what this generation is missing…myself including…is an active faith…..and that happens when you actively pursue the grace of God……..

I think the best thing that this time off did was give me a clean slate with people……and events…..I feel the business aspect was getting too personal….as I mentioned before, I felt censored…..and I have come to grips that I should be…..its not right for me to blatantly give my side of the story to the masses and make someone feel like they are being attacked……in the same light, it was due to me showing more affection then I should….catch 22 if you will……I appreciate the people I meet and I definitely don’t wanna burn bridges…..I just have to learn to keep my mouth shut or say things with a more diplomatic perspective……all because I have this forum does not allow me to be brash and rude and uncaring of others….if I continue that path, I will reap what I sew…..don’t get wrong though….I will continue to voice my opinions……I will continue to give you insight into my world and my emotions……and I will continue to be Spaceship Ohayses……..

I have realized there are times where I feel loneliness…..its easy to think because Spaceship is everywhere and does everything, that I don’t have a void in my life…..I do…and I spend a lot of time denying it…..I find every source of an excuse to stay alone…to not have that rock beside me…..is it fear?...is it the fact that I feel I will disappoint?.....is it that I know that I am too busy?....not sure…and no this is not my calling for my own reality show…..I’m ready for completion…..on all fronts…..the tricky part is how do I go about doing this…a good friend of mine told me my problem is the wall I have up…on all fronts……and she was correct……how this wall was built, I don’t know….and what it will take to bring it down…that’s a good question……but I am focused on aligning myself up for greatness……no matter who it hurts in the end…….

And I think I just answered my own question….that has been my problem…not wanting to hurt people….and in the meanwhile, I have been hurting myself….playing with my own emotions…and pulling myself back from my rightful place in society……

And this is not a sad song; but yet, a resurrection if you will…..as much as I type, to live it is hard…..for I am human…..and a stubborn one at that stuck in my ways since I was 9……every night I pray that God will help me change my ways, actions, disposition, and course….and most days I forget my own prayer….until I lay back down…..I may not write everyday like I used to…..I may not have something funny to say all the time anymore….but I will make a promise to work as hard to be a better person……to be a better father, a better artist, a better employee and employer, and a better man…….it will take time…….in the end, that’s all I got……….

Once again, I missed yall so much!!....make sure you follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/spaceshipo

Love yall!!!

Church!!!

YOU CAN'T BE ME!! I'M EDDIE KANE JR!!

2010-07-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

Good evening you guys…..I know I am a little bit late today…that’s because my schedule changed at work…..so I am here until 9…yeah, I know…missing wrestling and everything….but I am cool with it…….hope you all had a great weekend…..mine was rather busy……and scattered…..I think that is becoming the definition of my life……scattered…I’m starting to feel like the chicken with its head cut off…..going every way but don’t which one is right……almost didn’t blog today….in one of those moods again……boy, I tell you…RUTS SUCK!!...haha…that rhymed……

Before I begin writing I want to send a happy birthday to my girl Robin……happy 44th birthday love…you look good for being a cougar!!...GROWL!!!!

But on a serious note…yeah, I almost didn’t write today…been doing a lot of soul searching……I was talking to the pastor of the church I attend and one thing that stuck out about our conversation is my honesty….yeah, I write to you guys most days…and I try to open up myself and let you see the insides of a hungry entertainment…..but I haven’t been honest with myself……I take a lot of things and put them in the back burner….knowing how important it is to stay positive and not talk to much about my personal life, I have, in some regard, started to cheat myself……he told me I needed to write…..I informed him I do write….and he explained that even though I write these blogs, I don’t write my feelings ENTIRELY…..I write what I want you all to read……and its an accurate statement…..I cant talk about everything on here…..I know too many sensitive people……over this past year, I have been censored because of what some people have felt was a “shot”……rather it was a relationship with friends, family, or associates……my shows, their promoters, owners, and artists…….or simply a random question or thought I have because I am Spaceship Ohayses……its amazing how people that “think” they know me opinion differs from those that actually do know me….it has never been my intent on hurting anyone or making anyone feel uncomfortable about a situation or circumstance…….

And that is one of my issues…..justifying my actions….I don’t know if writing this blog is worth it anymore….I think I need to get back in tune with myself….I was watching the Behind the Music episode on Jennifer Hudson yesterday and they were talking about her being asked to do a movie shortly after her mother was killed….she told them she couldn’t jump into another character because she was still trying to figure out who she was now after that tragedy……I feel her pain…..everyday, I jump into my Superman suit of being Spaceship Ohayses…….I realize that I have yet to spend one day crying about my grandmother…..even though I spend most of my days wishing I could talk to her…..and not just through heaven……no matter what I go through, I have to be Spaceship and the pains I feel are building up……me being me just shrugs it off; who cares anyway…people see me and want to laugh…..want to debate, and want the pleasures met in some aspect…I wonder how my life would be different if I would have taken time to adjust to this change of having my best friend gone….I used my music as my crutch…….thinking I was as invincible as any other superhero…..I guess I am not…..

Some days I wonder if I did disappear…..just fell off the face of the Earth for a spell, who would notice?.......I’m not really sure of that answer and may not even care for it, but I think that option is imminent…..I need to get away and make some sense of what is going on in my world…..I write because I know I am imperfect….I try to spill my guts without giving too much to the masses….I would hate for someone to use my weakness against me……most of my life, I have been the rock; a foundation for those who didn’t think they could continue on……even though I knew my battles were mounting, I believe I could always win…I WOULD always win…….it just has always been that way……

I feel like Mike Tyson in fighting Buster Douglas……he was the baddest man on the planet…feared by all that came against him….he won many fights even before the bell rang….and once he was knocked out, not only was it hard for him to get back up on that day, but essentially, his career was over from that point on…….

I don’t want that for myself….so before I get knocked out, I need to regroup…..I need to make plan what truly my issues are and where I need God to help me…..I have never been this weak in my life……I have never been on the brink of going crazy like this….everywhere I turn, it seems like another obstacle……..everywhere I run, another problem…….so here I am…..standing….in the middle of my deserted island, begging for help……..

Its kinda ironic that my name is Ohayses…….my mental state of mind is searching for that oasis right now…..I’m drained…almost too fatigued to continue fighting……when do I ask myself is it worth it…..when do I say, I have had enough…….when……is it over?.....

To all of you, I thank you for your patience with me on this journey…..life is about results, and quite frankly…I haven’t shown much…….I promise that I will make all of those that truly care about me proud……..its time to shed some dead skin……its time to jump into my destiny……..but first….I must fall in love with someone I have forgotten in this process towards immortality……ME………

Love yall!!!

Church!!!

SKYDIVING WITH CONCRETE KITES

2010-07-09T14:22:00.000-07:00

Whew!!...thought I was going to have to work tonight…..and in actuality, I was scheduled to……but I talked to one of the supervisors and I get a free pass…..although, my boss isn’t here today, so I am not in the clear…..just pray for me…..how are you all doing today?.......I’m sleepy…hell, I guess I stay that way though….I hope you all have a great weekend…..and if you are looking for something to do, here it is……ALL NU GROOVE SESSION TOMORROW NIGHT @ MURPHYS PLACE.....GROWN AND SEXY AT ITS FINEST!!......EVERYBODY FREE BEFORE 10:38!!!.....DJ BLAST ON THE ONES AND TWOS!!!...9410 WALNUT STREET.....IF YOU COMING, BRING A FRIEND!!...........

Last week was cool……we had a nice crowd…I am definitely looking forward to even more people this weekend…..its kind of cool to go to a spot and not having to worry about how many people will be mad at you by the end of the night……..their only purpose now is to listen to some great music and to enjoy themselves……and that’s exactly what I will be doing as well…..sitting back and enjoying the evening with great company….YOU!!!...........

Don’t forget about the Essential Yard Sale also going on tomorrow……..it will be at the corner of Spring Valley and Preston…….and if you have anything you may want to donate, please let me know…we are always in need of more things to sale……my goal is to donate at least 50 book bags to local children who can’t afford their own….remember, EDUCATION IS THE PASSPORT TO THE FUTURE; FOR TOMORROW BELONGS TO THE PEOPLE WHO PREPARE FOR IT TODAY- EXCELEENCE WILL BE TOLERATED”…...you know what’s funny?.......they used to say that during our announcements when I was in high school…and to this day, I still remember it……and there are so many things I don’t remember…….the power of the brain…….

A little disappointed today…..I had a client call in that we have been chasing for a long time……I made contact and took care of the situation….but upon further investigation of my work, I saw that I made many minor errors……now the supervisor that caught these errors talked to me and told me not to be discouraged…..but I am…I pride myself on trying to do a job correctly…….I like to do this right…and when I don’t, I feel like a failure in some aspect…I know I wont lose my job over it……I even know it was a great learning opportunity……I guess I just need to get on the ball more…..

There was something he said that really stuck with me though…..and it ties into something my grandfather used to tell me….”don’t be a jack of all trades and a master of none”….that’s what gramps said….this boss told me not to do a lot of things at 10% and nothing at 100%...eventually someone is going to have to come behind and finish that 90%........and that’s not a good feeling……sometimes I think I do try to dabble in too much stuff and not become a master of what I am really good at…I remember in high school, I played basketball, football, baseball, ran track, wrestled, and chess……..good at all of them…but not great…..and here at work, I must make an effort to work diligently at one task before I get sidetracked with another job…….just food for thought…….

Driving home last night and I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat…there was McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, Long John Silver’s, Raising Cane’s, and a host of other restaurants to choose from……I started thinking…….what if there was only one place to eat?......what if Burger King was the only option outside of cooking at home?.......what would their prices be?.....how about the taste of the food?.....the customer service?....how packed would it be?....and would they ever change their menu…….I realized, “Thank God for options!!!”……

In life, there is always competition….if there wasn’t how would complacency affect us…..we must always attempt to become better, because somewhere….someone is trying to take your spot…..even in this hip hop world I live in, I know one thing is a fact….there is somebody waiting on my to falter………I remember eating 300 big macs in a row…(not in a day, but every time I went there)…..it got boring…….it became commonplace…and eventually, I became disgusted with its taste……I used to not want to eat anywhere else but McDonald’s………options and competition create identity……

When we see something that is a threat to us, we have two options….we can either curl up in the corner and quit…or we can re-invent ourselves to become better than the obstacle ahead of us……what remains true is that the competition cares what you are doing, but doesn’t care if u succeed or not…….in fact, they are praying for your downfall…….if you look at life, everything is a battle…everything you long for, you have to compete for………while the winners and losers may be gray, the fact that they exist is black and white…….

I am a guy that pretty much likes things as is…I don’t really step out my boundaries on clothing, food, music, and point of views…….but I do love to hear and learn about other things……we cant become prejudice to thinking our way is the only that matters……we cant believe that because we eat over here, that this is all there is to eat in the world…we must understand that options are present and must respect them for what they are…….don’t get caught up thinking that no one is invincible and your preference is perfect……opinions are yours, but options are for everybody!!!!........

Well I am about to end this daily ritual…..shout outs to Rhonda….HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU AS WELL LOVE……man a lot of my friends are having birthdays this week…..sucks that my funds aren’t where they need to be…….as I told you earlier, thank you for being in my life…thank you for being there for me….THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIENNNNNNDDDD!!!!.......I hope you have an awesome weekend and you and Tonya don’t party too much!!!........

See yall sometime tomorrow my fellow Martians!!!!

Love yall!!!!!!

Church!!!!!

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR NEEDS WINDEX!!

2010-07-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

So I am still here at work…and it’s raining outside…the things I would do right now to get some sleep!!...how are you all doing this evening?......I’m feeling good……got some good rest last night……but you know my work is never done…..one more day until the weekend…….and even then, I still will be busy…..with all that I do, I so love the life I live….at times, it does get bothersome….sometimes, I wanna rest…….but I know better…plus I have a fear….if I rest for one moment, I will miss something and my opportunity may pass me by……..

Well, in 7 days, I will be headed to Reno for a show…..didn’t think I was going to go but now it looks like a reality…..its weird how I don’t get excited for a lot of things….but I do get extremely nervous…….for most of my events….I guess it’s the anticipation of if the crowd will enjoy themselves…….from open mics, to the black history program, to any endeavor…at the end of the day, I wanna be memorable…and if that doesn’t happen, I feel like I did not complete the mission the way it should have been…….

Not much to talk about today…..or so I say……its funny how once you start using your mind to think, other things come out……and I think that’s one of the blessings of writing everyday…to be able to open a channel of my mind that I know I wouldn’t if I didn’t use this blog as a platform to vent……it is great to go back and read a lot of what I have written….sometimes…..sometimes I have to drink truth serum and take a look at myself……although I may write a lot of meaningful things, I have to be mindful to practice what I preach……and it is hard….especially living in this world…..of course, I am no saint……I do try everyday to be a better person than I was yesterday…..some days I succeed…and some days I ask what the heck is wrong with me……I guess that’s the price of humanity……

To reflect on myself is a good thing though……when I was younger, I never thought any cared for me…..I lived in a “dog eat dog” state of mine……growing up in Flint, you pretty much had to…..I had my grandparents, but once I left the walls of Harriet Street, there was no guarantee I would make it home that night…..of course I had my hand in the hood cookie jar…….my mission was to be like the big dogs of the world…with no financial complications and all the power and clout I could muster……my dream was not to be someone of purpose, but someone with power…..

Moving to Mississippi, I felt I had an advantage over my peers….growing up in what I considered a fast pace and metropolitan lifestyle, I was not accustomed to the homely nature of the South……there was this hospitality that I was ignorant to………a realm of graciousness that was not becoming of my disposition…..I was eager to stay on my pedestal….the “ I am better than you” mentality was easily displayed in classes, card games, smoking, shopping, and anything else I could think of…..slowly though, being so isolated started to wear on me…….I wanted to be appreciated in someone other than myself eyes….but of course, I had too much pride to articulate this…..through an unsuccessful marriage and moving to Texas, I gut my wall back up…….its better to stay guarded than to be hurt……tears were for the weak….its better not to show my weakness to anyone because they could use it against me………..

Here I am, 12 years after my original migration, a total shell of my former self…..its crazy how through all the trials and tribulations, I still attempted to maintain a hardness about me……but the growth that I have seen within me only came out once I realized it was okay to share my feelings…still, I am not good at it…and may never be for fear of getting hurt……but its okay to tell someone that I care about them now…its cool to appreciate others for the things they do for me….its okay to reach out for help when I am weak….I used to think I was going to die a lonely old man…..no one would even know I was gone for a few days or weeks……I know I have people that love me and I have to show them that same respect…..its harder for me than what you think……and not because I don’t care…I have been used to disappointing people when they become attached…whether it was a girl, teammates, family, or friends…….it became acceptable and a protocol in my eyes…….get close, have fun, become disappointed, become distant again……

I am here to tell you….if God wanted us to be alone, he wouldn’t make babies……don’t allow your stubbornness to restrict the blessings of people in your life…whether right, wrong or indifferent, people are placed in your life for a reason….some people are in my life to help me stay on the straight and narrow…not to be a friend……everyone you meet wont tell you sweet music…some of it is designed to make you a better person……thank you for all that you guys do to help me become a better me……I am prepared more than ever to walk across that bridge to success with all of you on my back…..the burdens I thought were too heavy to lift are becoming a memory…and that pride I used to have, has disintegrated to humbleness…..

Well I won’t continue to be long winded…hopefully; you all get the point…thank you for molding me……

Shout outs to my girl Necole…..happy birthday big eyes…love you so much…guess now I have to take you out for ur birthday…..where are we gonna go?......Krystal’s!!!!!.....and a slurpee from 7-11!!...lmao!!...you know I am kidding…let me know when you free…..I wont be free for a few weeks but hey, rain checks work!!!...........

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

DEATH AT A FUNERAL?.....HE STILL OWE ME MONEY!!!

2010-07-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

Wow….it’s Wednesday already…how are you doing today folks?.....I am doing a lot better…went to sleep with a headache and woke up with the same darn headache……needless to say I got to work late….about an hour and a half late….but I did call in so I wouldn’t get reprimanded…..and the boss I called didn’t come in until 12…..smart ole me…….but they cant say I didn’t call at least……I guess I love these weeks where we don’t have to work on Monday’s due to the holiday……even though I did, its still making the week go by pretty fast………

THERE WILL BE NO ROLLS ROYCE TONIGHT!!!......I REPEAT, THERE WILL BE NO ROLLS ROYCE TONIGHT!!.........

Yeah I know….bummer…..but this is the life of entertainment…ups and downs…..growing pains…..do I know if I will be hosting another open mic in the future?......no……and in some regard, I am not that upset…….I think I needed to take a break…..it does give me an opportunity to look at the competition a little closer and not just hear say…….working consistently at one spot can sometimes place you in a bubble…you cant see what’s going on around you…..and if you don’t know what you are up against, you can lose sight of your goal…….so for me, I am going to prepare for this yard sale this weekend and the Groove Session Saturday night…I hope to see you all there!!.........

What is up with folks bringing their kids into the workplace?......not only is it dangerous but I also this its not necessary…..its crazy to me that people would want to parade their child around people here……letting folks touch and hold your kid….getting all up in their face and treating the child like a pit bull…….call me old fashion but I think its inappropriate….also, if I cant get in the building without a badge to work, why should they be allowed to come up here just to walk around and distract the work progress?.......

You know, throughout my day, I think of so many life lessons that I face…..I am usually so eager to write them all down but for some reason, I never do….its usually because I am actually in the act of doing something and I try to remember my topics….but I don’t…..until after I blog…….

But I was discussing something with my co-workers earlier that I do remember…..we were talking about losing and finding things……this morning when I called in, I expected to be at work no later than 9…..I figured I could wake up around 8:30, get dressed and get to work on time…needless to say that didn’t happen…..I woke up by 9, and hurried to get ready for work…….now, I’m dressed, badge on, and a bottle of water to drink on my way to work…….I walk outside my house, lock my door and go to my vehicle……I DON’T HAVE MY KEYS!!!.....no biggie, I go back in the house and look for them……..I couldn’t find them…now I had them not even 8 hours ago when I came home last night……they weren’t in my pockets….they were not on the table or my couch that I sit on……I scrambled trying to hurry so I wouldn’t be later than I was……then I got frustrated…..I stopped, looked around and bam!!.....there they were on the floor next to the door…….in all that haste, I didn’t think to look on the ground to see my keys…I picked them up and hurried off to work……….
How many times do we scramble find something when the answer is right there in front of us……we look in all the wrong places, thinking that “possibly”, it could be here……and we know better…I know times where I have misplaced my keys and I am looking in the bathroom for them…I know darn well its not there……..and we have a tendency to live like that…….we wonder why our destiny, ministry, job, or family, is not taking off like we think it should….where are you looking?..........why doesn’t she like me the way I like her…..where are you looking?........why my obligations are not being prioritized and carried out properly?.......where are you looking?.........if we want to find the key to get us from point A to B in our lives, we must look in the appropriate place…….

And another thing that happens…sometimes…….we even get distracted…we begin to look for one thing…find something else….and forget what we were looking for in the first place…..I was looking for my keys this morning and found my Best of Mr. Perfect DVD set….now if I didn’t have to go to work, I probably would have put it in and watched some of it…….luckily for me, I knew what was most important at the time……but how many times have I been guilty of letting distractions take me from my destiny…….excess detours will lead you to a longer journey….and in some cases, uncomfortable journeys…….even when I am driving down the street, I may turn into a restaurant instead of waiting at the light…now by the time, I get to the other side of the restaurant, the adjacent light turns green and I still have to wait…….ugh!!!!.........

Lets not be so impatient that we miss what is right in front of us……its our blessing and that’s why it is there……and then we get upset and frustrated because we cant find what we are looking for…….ask yourself…..where are you looking??.........

Well I am about to exit, stage left……I love yall…..I really do……it is so comforting the feedback I get from you all………some days, I really don’t want to write….I feel like I have nothing to converse about……but then I think that the reason I write is not because of me…..some of you are getting touched and I am learning a lot by putting my life under a microscope…no I wont always be right in my opinions……..I wont always be accepted for my comments….by now, I actually expect someone to write me and criticize something I write…oh well….that means it is having its purpose……..

Shout outs to my man Brian Mullins…..he hipped me onto a great networking opportunity on Monday and I just want him to know how much I appreciate it……you know, you don’t have to talk to someone everyday for you to be cordial….or helpful…….it is people like him that makes what I do worth it and I want to thank you so much fam……you are an angel on this Earth………

Love yall!!!!!

Church!!!!

THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE LOVERS.......

2010-07-06T14:27:00.000-07:00

Hello to one….hello to all…..I hope I come to you in good spirits…I pray everyone had an outstanding 4th of July weekend…….I truly worked all weekend……..Sunday morning and yesterday afternoon was my only chances to rest…and felt guilty about Sunday…..missed church and I know better……..hopefully, it wasn’t the deciding factor of me going to heaven or hell…….sunny all day and now…..BOOM!!...the rain cometh down……..and I am supposed to pick up some things for our yard sale this Saturday……..yeah, it will be a continual thing so come out and get some great deals…….in the process, you will be helping Essential Entertainment on its next big event!!!.........

I don’t like seeing people leaving work before me!!!!.....it just seem like this last hour goes by so slow……and no…..I cant come to work early…..it would be purposeless…if I came to work, I would not be productive and that is something I don’t like doing….I am already paranoid so being here with nothing to do and wasting time, I would get frustrated myself…….that’s the good thing about writing you guys…it makes this time fly by…..sometimes I have to hurry up with what I am saying so I can get my butt out of here and leave……..

Had a lot of fun Saturday night….its been a long time since I have had my own club night….no rapping, no hosting, no hoping people come, and no animosity……I was able to sit back and chill…..and the crowd definitely enjoyed it……it was a really good feeling and a lot of positive feedback…..I hope to see you all come out and chill with me next Saturday….yeah…..he is going to give this a shot and allow Essential Entertainment to bring the Preliminary Groove Session to you all every Saturday evening……….

So this weekend I had something really cool happen to me…….and it showed me that patience sometimes pays off……I was getting ready to perform at Club Halftime…….for their Hood Idol/ Movement Birthday party….well this one artist that came to Rolls Royce and won a few weeks back…he has an issue with me……apparently, he thought he was going to win the $250 on that night…….even after I informed him THAT NIGHT that he wouldn’t…….well since then, every time I have saw him, he has had something fly to say…..now to my people back home in Flint, I know what you are thinking……..yes, I am not punching people in their face for no reason anymore……I am an entertainer and being in that spotlight, I have to contain myself now….I do not want a bad stigma placed on me or my conduits…….so I caution myself not to make of fool of what I have worked hard to build……..well Sunday….which was the night of the performance, dude shows up….I even warned the promoter that this may be the night he gets that issue…….hey, at least I warned them!!.........well the artist comes in and he calls me over to him….AND HE APOLOGIZES!!.......it was a very good feeling…….not because he apologized to me….because God touched his heart and allowed him to be humble enough to get over the miscommunication……if he is going to take his music to the next level, he cant run around thinking he can handle folks any kind of way….everyone is this game isn’t as nice and full of compassion like myself…….I love to see growth in people…..it may not be because of me, but I know God used me in his plan to help give this young man some wisdom………..

My point being…let’s not let our egos burn bridges……we need not jump to conclusions and mess up the things we have worked hard for to prove how “street” or “gangster” we are………no one will agree on everything, but just think about how many times we have disconnected from someone because of pride or something petty……I have been guilty of it many times in my life and wondered why God would miss me on some blessings….He did it so what makes us any better than him??.....it kinda baffles me when I think about all the things I do in my life that I act spoiled about when God deals with it everyday….folks talking about me……not having money………struggles of the world………I am actually become ashamed of some of my attitudes…..if anything, I need to go to my tag team partner and determine a plan to make my life better than it was yesterday………

My mojo……gosh I love it…….lately, with all the great things that have been going on within Essential Entertainment, my mojo is soaring to a new stratosphere……its not into a realm of cockiness or conceit, but I simply am starting to see the rewards of all my hard work…..and my team…I don’t think I could have asked for better people to ride this journey with me…..one thing I want to say to all up and coming entrepreneurs……..business is business and personal is personal…….get people to work with you that are able to separate the two….that are willing to work hard and motivate you….if you are not around positive and like minded people, how do you ever think you will escalate………its about trial and error……..its about making good decisions and knowing the strength and weaknesses of not only those around you but also yourself…….make it a priority to treat all of your comrades with respect…don’t bark orders and make demands…treat them like people and respect will be granted to you……these are things I am learning....and for that, I am grateful……..

Well, I think I am about to get out of here…if you haven’t yet, make sure you become a follower at www.spaceshipohayses.blogspot.com and www.twitter.com/spaceshipo as soon as you read this………I want to make sure I can connect with you all because it is you that made me who I am and I want you all to continue on this journey with me………..

Shout outs to my girl LaDondra…it is her birthday today and I want to send her a very special birthday wish…..to my best friend Kelli Nicole and my niece Ms Rhiyan….happy birthday ladies…I love yall soooooooo much……….please teach me how to tweet like you……….

Love yall!!!!!!

Church!!!!

SPEECHLESS AT A DEBATE

2010-07-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

I guess I am here my friends!!.......how are you all doing today…..I am good…..still at work and ready to get off….by the time you receive this blog, some major events could have possibly transpired…but, who would really know…….had a pretty good day…..trying to stay focused on the goal at hand…..and become a better individual everyday……..

So we are currently past the half way mark of the calendar year today….July already…..wow….seems like the year just started………and now we are getting ready for the fattening holidays…..the 4th, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and of course Christmas……I think next week, I will put my Xmas wish list together so you all can collect your pennies and see what it do……

I need to correct an error from yesterday…..I gave a shout out to my girl Chris from U.B.E……TOTAL TYPO…….Chris is a male and he made sure I knew that……I was thinking one thing and writing another….I do sincerely apologize for the sex change I administered through my writing…..remember people, if you are trying to get heard, or if you know someone that is trying to get their music out, get at me…….Chris is doing excellent things with his mixtapes and he has A LOT of connections………I’m just saying…….

THIS SATURDAY, ESSENTIAL ENTERTAINMENT WILL BE HOLDING THE 3RD OF JULY GROOVE NIGHT…….WE WILL BE AT MURPHYS PLACE…THIS ISNT AN OPEN MIC……YOU WONT HEAR A LOT OF THE NEW SCHOOL MUSIC…THIS IS A GROWN AND SEXY EVENT, ONLY FOR THE GROWN AND SEXY…….FREE FOR LADIES BEFORE TEN……..TEN FOR EVERYONE AFTER……VIP IS AVAILABLE………9410 WALNUT STREET IS THE ADDRESS……COME OUT AND CELEBRATE THE 4TH OF JULY WITH SPACESHIP OHAYSES AND THE ESSENTIAL ENTERTAINMENT FAMILY…..NEW YORK’S OWN DJ BLAST WILL BE ON THE 1S AND 2S………

ALSO, SATURDAY MORNING, ESSENTIAL ENTERTAINMENT WILL BE HAVING A YARD SALE ON THE CORNER OF PRESTON AND SPRING VALEEY AT THE OLD EBENEZER WORSHIP CENTER SHURCH……14000 PRESTON RD IS THE ADDRESS……IF YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING NICE AND INEXPENSIVE, PLEASE COME CHECK US OUT!!..........

Yeah I know…busy is as busy does………..

Oh my…the funniest thing happened today while I was walking in work…..so I was walking in with one of my co-workers and this young lady walks by…my co-worker is very sensitive to strong smells so one whiff of this young ladies perfume really messed up he lungs and breathing….but she was good……well, one of the managers saw this as he was walking past her and wanted to see if she was alright…by the time she caught her breath to tell him everything was good, she apparently smelled him and his cologne was either as strong……if not stronger…than the previous young lady’s….oh I was tickled….then when I get upstairs to my area, he comes to asked me if she is alright……he makes a comment saying that she may need to get that checked out…..nah playa, maybe you need to stop drowning yourself in Brut before you come to work……

Got a small dilemma and I am trying to go about it the right way…..got this co-worker and he is the type that I think doesn’t really have many friends…except probably his girlfriend….he spends a lot of time in other people’s conversations and routinely spreads rumors….the issue is…NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING TO HIM??!!!.......DID I MENTION IT’S A GUY!!!??........

(quick tangent)….I am learning that there are a lot of caddy dudes around these parts…..I thought women…and not to sound rude or anything…were typically the ones that talked behind folks back, but geez!!!.........

He has never done anything to me…besides attempt to tell me about other people….I just don’t think I want him even in my rotation….and I am not feeling like defending someone else at this particular moment….should I just shut up and ignore what he says to me?....or should I say something hoping he gets the picture…….

I remember my grandmother telling me, even a child can tell you right from wrong…..I’m seeing an epidemic where people don’t feel like they can learn after a certain age……they know it all and change is not going to happen in their mentality……I think that’s the best part of writing these blogs for me…I can see many errors of my ways…..I know that I am changing for the best and I am trying to prepare myself to be a good husband, boss, teacher, whatever God plans are for me…….its wild how I see people day to day thinking that their way is the only way but at the same time wondering why downfall is imminent in their life…………

Have you ever met somebody that you had to be mean to?......I mean, you try to be nice to them and it never works…or they take it too far??.........

Well, I think I am about to retire for the day…….sorry about the brain farts…..not much in the mind of Spaceship today…….

Shout outs to my girl Ms. La……..you just don’t know how happy I was to hear from you yesterday……..I told you I got you and I promise that I wont be far away whenever you need me…….and a special shout out to my girl KayDee……….enough said……..

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!!

WWW.QUITTRIPPING.COM

2010-06-30T14:34:00.000-07:00

Happy and glorious Wednesday people!!....how are you all doing today?.....I am doing pretty good…..ready to get off work….so I can get ready for my other job…..Texas weather is so crazy!!...woke up this morning thinking about wearing a sweater…..glad I used some common sense on that one!!.....just went outside to get ice cream and it seemed like it melted before I could even open it…..crazy…….

So last night while I was washing my clothes, I watched the BET Awards…..first off, let me say, I really don’t like watching shows like this…especially being in my line of work….it makes me feel like a failure seeing that I have yet to be nominated for anything, let alone, even been there…..and being 30, its frustrating…..at times, it makes me want to work hared while at others, I get discouraged….I promise that next year, I will be at an award show, rather it be locally or nationally……this is a goal I am setting for myself……

Ok back from my tangent……was I the only one that heard how horrible the mics sounded?.......and it seemed like way too much was going on that wasn’t coordinated….I know it came on Sunday, but I’m typically late when it comes to television…..a few artist were performing songs I have never heard……and then…..there’s Chris Brown……wow, he did an awesome job……I cant believe the “hip hop illuminati” decided not to show up, simply because he was there……how selfish is that??.........what makes them so much better that they cant forgive him for his actions…I still stand by my theory that Rhianna said something fly…….but watching him break down during his rendition of Man in the Mirror…..really had me thinking….even in my altered state at the time…..its hard to ask someone to change when there is a lot inside of us that needs to be fixed…….no one person can change the world…but if we change ourselves, the healing begins….I never disliked him for his actions but I commend him for stepping up…..has anyone ever heard his side of the story?.....for him to take all the blame is noble in itself……before we continue to judge people and their imperfections, lets look at the
Man in the Mirror………….

I got to work this morning and had a pile of work on my desk……I’m thinking how was I ever going to get through it all in one day….my boss comforted me by telling that I always have tomorrow if I don’t complete it all today……..so I work diligently to get all of my task done……I actually finished most of them but then my boss comes back over and sees my pile of work getting smaller…..you know what he does?......he gives me more task to finish…..this is a cycle…complete on thing, get two more to accomplish…….finish those two, there are three more things to do…….my inbox never gets empty……..

We must also realize this fact about life……sometimes, we don’t understand that even when we die, our inbox will still be full……..we take things so seriously that we forget to do the little things that keep us happy………even at work…sometimes, we feel we have so much to do, we miss lunch…..well in life, God has a lot for us to do, but we are able to rest…we have to rest…..we must not let our goals and dreams run us crazy…….

When I was younger, I wanted to go to college…check…then I wanted to be a teacher and get married…..check check…….next I wanted to put out a CD….done…..now I have my own company and visions on opening my youth center…after God allows that to happen, I still wont be done with my purpose…..in the meantime, I must spend time to enjoy life and all its intricacies………we cant get tied down with trying to complete it all….remember when my grandmother was in the hospital??.......instead of sitting down and resting, I still tried to do everything I could to continue the Essential Entertainment movement…next thing you know, I ended up in the hospital……..and the doctor told me I needed to rest…….I didn’t want to get behind…but if I would have died, what would I have been able to accomplish….absolutely nothing…….even I had to realize this fact…….

look, I understand we all have life issues…we all have things that we would like to get done….we all have dreams and aspirations….SO!.......they don’t mean anything if we are not in our right mind to function…….if the foundation of our soul is cracked, nothing with stand up….and even when you are working hard, don’t get discouraged that your mission is never completed……that’s life my friends……don’t worry about your inbox…..you will never be able to empty it anyway……….

Well that concludes today’s edition……DON’T FORGET TONIGHT IS ROCK OUT WEDNESDAYS AT ROLLS ROYCE!!!......DOORS OPEN AT 9….$5 TO ENTER, $10 TO PERFORM………THE BEST OF THE BEST WILL BE IN ATTENDANCE….DJ BIGG KATT ONT THE 1’S AND 2’S AND OF COURSE, SPACESHIP OHAYSES THE INCREDIBLE WILL BE IN THE BUILDING….9220 SKILLMAN STREET IN NORTH DALLAS…..I WANT TO SEE YOU ALL THERE!!!!.........
Shout outs to my girl Chris from U.B.E…..its amazing how you can connect with people…and with the spirit God has given me, I can tell a good person….thank you for the opportunity to get to know you…..IF THERE IS ANY ARTIST THAT WOULD LIKE TO GET ON A SUMMER MIXTAPE, PLEASE GET AT ME!!!.............its called networking humans…..learn it………..

Love yall!!!!!!

Church!!!!

DR KAVORKIAN AINT GOT NUTHIN ON ME!!!

2010-06-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon ladies and gentleman…I hope you all are doing well today……I do apologize for not writing you guys yesterday but I truly did not feel well……I feel a little bit better today but I am begging for a little more rest once I get off……of course that is probably not going to happen….but hey…a brother can dream cant he?.......I hope you all had a tremendous weekend; I know I did……it was such wonder to spend time with Jayla and have her not wanting to go home……I used to have to beg her to come spend a night….now she is asking every week….totally cool in my book……..
So we are still preparing for the Reno trip…this week, we are going to have a garage sale…..Lord knows I need to get some things out of my crib….remember when I was talking about vessels and God being able to give you new things?......well this weekend, I need to practice what I preach……hopefully, I will be able to get a few item out of my house that I know I never use…hell, I may not even know are still in there…..and even though we will be selling these items, it may be something somebody truly needs….and that’s a blessing for both…..
DON’T FORGET TOMORROW IS ROCK OUT WEDNESDAYS AT ROLLS ROYCE!!!......DOORS OPEN AT 9….$5 TO ENTER, $10 TO PERFORM………THE BEST OF THE BEST WILL BE IN ATTENDANCE….DJ BIGG KATT ONT THE 1’S AND 2’S AND OF COURSE, SPACESHIP OHAYSES THE INCREDIBLE WILL BE IN THE BUILDING….9220 SKILLMAN STREET IN NORTH DALLAS…..I WANT TO SEE YOU ALL THERE!!!!.........
Oh man!!....I recorded my first song with the band on Saturday……besides listening to my gospel Sunday, I have yet to take the music out my CD player……once you guys hear this, I promise you, the game will be changed forever……..
I remember when my grandmother was still present on this Earth, I would call her for cooking advice……how to make gravy, dressing, or a pie…what ingredients did she put in her specialty cakes……I asked her because I knew she had the recipe designed to make food enjoyable…….everyone loved my granny’s cooking and every holiday, our house was packed with visitors wanted something she cooked…..every time she gave me her recipe, she would close with a some advice: “now this is how I fix it. Don’t mean it’s gonna be right for you.”…….I never understood what that meant…exactly…..but I figured it out…..how she cooked and enjoyed her food was not going to be the way I prepared my dishes and enjoyed my food……
We often want our lives to emulate peoples around us…hopefully, those that are near and dear and not just an average Joe…..the thing is, our lives are all different and it takes different ingredients to make our recipe……when we look or even indulge into another’s life, we think that every thing is perfect……but preparing a dish takes timing, patience, creativity, love, and of course the ingredients…..you cant put an egg in everything you make….you cant add flour to all your dishes….and you cant fry everything…….even when we are on our spiritual “diets”, different people consume different things…there are even specialty diets for certain areas that you want to tone up……
We must realize what works for us…..and the first thing in knowing that is what doesn’t work for us……I don’t like mayonnaise, so why would I spend my time fixing a recipe that needs mayo?.......why would I spend my life doing something and engaging in something that I know I don’t like?........they say emulation is the best form of flattery, but often, it is the best way to get into something that you may not like…..you ever see someone order something in a restaurant and you decide to order it because it look good?.....and if you don’t like it, it messes up the whole mood……learn yourself and what it takes to fill your soul……learn what you like to digest to continue to manifest greatness……figure out the recipe of your life……CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE SHIP IS COOKING??!!........
I hope you all understood what I was trying to say…..its okay to be an individual…its okay to do things your way…..you don’t have to follow the typical protocol of life if you know deep down, that’s not going to help you succeed….I’m not saying go act a fool (no pun intended: song on iTunes, artist Spaceship Ohayses)…I’m saying learn yourself….be in tune with yourself……don’t make foolish mistakes trying to be like someone……
Well…..I have about 30 minutes to go and I promise it is not coming soon enough…..you know I have come to realize, I don’t like when people are mad at me……or better yet, disappointed in me……and every since my grandmother passed, I haven’t had that feeling…does that mean no one cares that much?......to disappoint someone is kinda saying that they care about your success, doesn’t it?......sorry guys, just thinking………
Shout outs to my girl Risa Boo….glad that you chose today for your bi-weekly check in…..it is always a pleasure to hear from you…..don’t be a stranger and next time I hear from you, you should have copped the album by then……..

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

I BET THE NEIGHBORS FORGOT MY NAME!!

2010-06-25T14:57:00.000-07:00

Not really in the mood to write today…..and its not because I am in a bad mood…just tired…and my thoughts are drained…..how are you all doing today?.....its Friday so I know a few of you are excited……some of us…me…have to work tomorrow….but then again….DONT I WORK EVERYDAY??!!.......seems like it don’t it……..and I’m cool with it…until that bear hits…I don’t know why I am so tired today…..I thought I got enough sleep…three and a half hours!!!..........

DON’T FORGET ABOUT THE ESSENTIAL CAR WASH TOMMOROW IN NORTH DALLAS…WE WILL BE ON THE CORNER OF PRESTON AND SPRING VALLEY FROM 11-6……..I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO COME OUT AND SUPPORT…PROVIDING THAT THE FORECAST FOR TOMORROW IS INACCURATE……WE WILL BE SELLING BBQ AND BAKED GOODS AS WELL…..BRING THE FAMILY OUT AND SUPPORT ESSENTIAL ENTERTAINMENT………

Don’t think I am going anywhere tonight……got some work to do to get ready for everything we have upcoming….I am truly excited…I need to find me a happy medium though……I cant keep running myself crazy……hmmmmm……..

You know there are different types of track events…..100m, 200m, 400m, 1600m, hurdles, high jump, long jump, discus, and marathon among other things…….in each race, you typically see different individuals…..Usain Bolt, considered the fastest man on Earth, cant run the 1600m race……while he may be the fastest, his endurance may not be that strong…..why you may ask…..well, over the course of his training, he has been conditioned to run only so far for so long……not to say that he couldn’t if properly taught……and the same goes for the marathon runners…it takes them a minute to get into stride so running such a quick race would be no good for them as by the time their engine started getting in true gear, the race would be over…….

In life, we all have our own individual races to run….while some can move swiftly to get to their personal finish line, others…….like myself……have to pace ourselves for a marathon…..we may wish for our task to be done quickly, but we have only been trained for certain races…….think about those that have hurdles to jump…..they have to run fast as well as remember to jump over obstacles…in stride……I know how hard that is…one time in high school, I had to run the hurdles and I fell over the first three…..not only embarrassing but it left me far behind my goal…..

There are people that throw the shot put…..throwing a big weight off their shoulders to the ground as far away from them as possible…….the long jump…..running to jump and get as far and deep into dirt as possible……the pole vault….running and jumping over your obstacle, allowing yourself to fall flat on your back with exhaustion……each race, while specializing in different obstacles, is essential for a track meet……..when I used to run track….stop laughing…I wasn’t always this big…….I loved to listen to music before the race and pump myself up…..through the stretching and greeting of the competitors, I knew no one could defeat me…….I could close my eyes and count my steps that I had to run…it became commonplace……but to others, they would have lasted in my race……and vice versa…….

Sometimes we become in awe of other people’s accomplishments…..we try to compete with them and attempt to do the things they do better than them…just to prove a point…..for what I ask…..we don’t need to prove anything to anybody but ourselves and to God….then we wonder why we are losing our own race…because we are attempting to prepare for something we are not capable of doing….run your own race…work hard at making sure you are ready and focused on the task at hand FOR YOU……..if you lose, at least you will know you gave it your all…..if you win, you will feel more like you deserved it…..don’t prepare to run an 100m dash if your life is geared towards a marathon……which race are you in again??..........

Well I am done with the blog……I hope you enjoyed today’s reading…..shout out to my home girl Dana from the Jerz……this was my old producer/camera person from my television show in college…and my arch nemesis in bejeweled…its cool to know someone as cool as you....and thank you on the counter information…..hey!! Guess what!!...is till have that George foreman grill!!!!......shhhh!!!!!!!....I miss spring breaks!!!

Love yall!!!!!

Church!!!!

DUSTING OFF THE ENCYLPEDIATRICS

2010-06-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

Good evening ladies and gentlemen…..this is ya boy, Spaceship Ohayses, the Incredible coming to you with another edition of Wise Words of Spaceship…..I want to extend a special thank you to all of you that continue to read, continues to support, and continues to give me ideas on how to make this vision better……if you can for me today, make sure you hit up the actual blog site: www.spaceshipohayses.blogspot.com …………I’m getting close to my 400th blog….its crazy to even fathom that I have written that many blogs on various topics…..its exciting to look back on though…..I feel, I have become a better person by being able to share with you all my battles in life…..

I finally filmed my Oprah audition…..yeah I know I am late doing it, but hey, I had to find someone with the time to do it…..now I need to go online and fill out the paperwork again…..that should be fun…..I will let you all know when you will be able to go on there and vote for me….I think my procrastination has taken the air out of the actual project…..personal problem on my end I know……..

I FINALLY GOT SOME SLEEP LAST NIGHT!!!.....got home from the open mic around 1 and went straight to bed…..don’t even remember changing clothes or anything…..I knew it was imperative that I took last night to rest, especially seeing that I didn’t have to be at work until 12 today…..its been crazy around here too…..heard more lay offs are on the horizon, as they are sending some of our accounts to Jamaica……then people are losing their jobs by attrition…….folks getting fired for things they did months ago, while others are questionably still employed……and then yesterday, I heard the nastiest thing…..but I just decided not to go there…….

Don’t forget about the Essential Car Wash this weekend!!!...I do ask that you all come out and support us as we raise money for future endeavors involving Essential Entertainment…..we will have food, fun, a raffle, and maybe even some music if the cops let us……we will be at the corner of Preston and Spring Valley all day Saturday……your participation would be greatly appreciated……..if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me about the car wash……….

I just realized…I have not been home all this week!!...whoo hoo!! My light bill shouldn’t be high this month….but it probably will anyway…..you know what’s that bull?....you call the electric company to complain and they tell you they will come check out your meter….but if nothing is wrong with it, they charge you a fee……what kind of mess is that?...its like a crap shoot……..they can tell you nothing is wrong, because I don’t know how to read them and still charge you for nothing……..

Today, I was at a restaurant waiting to be served…..there was a guy, a little further up in line that was really acting impatient……he was very close to being helped and then his phone rang……he saw who it was, got excited and got out of line to take the call……..after his call, he attempted to jump back in line, even though the person he was immediately in front of, had already gone…..the new person he was trying to pass would not let him cut the line…he was furious!!...he felt he was entitled to his “spot” since he had been there previously……..so wrong of him…….

The point being……sometimes we miss our blessings because we get out of line…..its called patience…….we get so close and then something diverts our attention and we removed ourselves from the line….then we get mad….we see other people getting the blessings we long for……we see people we don’t think are deserving reaping rewards left and right….but its not their fault…its our own……we get weary at the fact that our turn hasn’t come soon enough…..

Lets not let haste and our lack of patience take us away from the things God has in store for us……we spend too much time getting frustrated about waiting……and way too much time looking at what the next man got than being thankful for the things God has given us and what he is going to give us……

Well my boss is on my butt so I have to make this short…..shout outs to my girl Lauren…she is doing a lot better and it just shows the power of my Father…..hope to see you soon babe!!...........

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!!

LOST IN A DARK WORLD WITH TUNNEL VISION

2010-06-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon to you all…I hope I find you feeling good and ready to get off work….I know I am…at least here……still have to work tonight……..but you know I love to do that so I am not worried…….what are you doing tonight?.....if you can, come check us out!!!..........

ROCK OUT WEDNESDAYS AT ROLLS ROYCE…..$5 ADMISSION….$10 IF YOU WANT TO ENTER THE CONTEST….WINNER TAKES ALL!!!.........9220 SKILLMAN STREET….NORTH DALLAS……..DOORS OPEN AT 9….SHOW STARTS AT 10……….$3 WELLS ALL NIGHT…………IF YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, COME ON OUT AND SHOW US WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF!!!.............

Yeah, we switched up the contest…had too…..one thing I am learning is that you have to reinvent yourself sometimes…..sometimes change is good……and it can force you to do things that you never have…….so come on out folks….see what we got going on and enjoy yourself……

You know life always has a way of working itself out….earlier today, I even had an inclination of posting something on my facebook about how cruel God’s jokes are…a few weeks ago, I was mentally on E…..truly reconsidering if my vision of Essential Entertainment was going to come to fruition……bills piled, associates disappeared, and the shows decreased…..it was even affecting my corporate job, as I didn’t want to be here either………I place a lot of blame on myself for attitudes, disagreements, and confusion…..and I didn’t care…somewhere, inside of me, I want to hide….to become a nobody again…who would miss, I considered……and how many more people would actually be happy I didn’t exist anymore……the BOOM!!.......I met the band…..One Night Stand is one of the best things that happened to me……..the EE family started getting stronger……doors opened……visions were being seen…..and then, it vanished again………

By this time, I am getting irate!!!....most of it was based off frustrations…….was I the butt of a vicious joke…..was my life the vicious cycle of disappointment.....am I CEO material, or am I living an aberration…….was my flaws overshadowing my good characteristics……..I had no answers…only questions…..and as HE does when he is ready to reveal himself, things started popping up……doors started opening…….and the dream lived on….the big difference is the work……as much sleep as I don’t get, I think its worth it……I am acting on my ideas as well as the ideas of others…….I have not been content with just a little…and I am learning how to humble myself to listen to others…..I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel…………

The thoughts I have had this week have been like none other……a lot of people have dreams and aspirations….even I do…..that’s the basis of the majority of the things I do in life…..but it feels different……the emails I get seem different…..the phone calls and networks I am making feel different……the responses I receive from the blog and the footage and the pictures are coming along faster…..destiny is on the horizon…….

I could have quit……I wanted to quit….hell, in my mind I did quit…but I couldn’t bring myself to letting all of you that believe in me down……I couldn’t let my EE family down…..and I am not going to let my grandparents down……there is so much in life I want to accomplish……so much change I want to make……and most of the time, I have no clue how I will get to the goal……I guess, that’s not for me to know, in all honesty…….we think we know the answers……when something happen, typically we figure its because of hard work…….we “earned” it…..we only earned God’s grace and mercy…..even before the struggle began, he knew what it would take to make us conquerors…..he knew the obstacles we needed to make us stronger and to learn our lessons…he knows what to take away to make us sit up and pay attention to him…..he will bend us, but never breaks us…….sometimes we feel tormented….WHY is the word we scream out……WHY NOT is what we should realize………

I have learned that everyone can carry the burdens God give me…they are mine for a reason…and for that I am grateful……..the trials and tribulations I occur are indebted to me, for his purpose is greater than my own beliefs…….they say its hell getting to heaven and I guess that holds true……..don’t waste your time doubting your greatness even through your storm……..everyone doesn’t get to carry HIS umbrella………..

Well I am ready to go…shout outs are in order to my homie Buddha Ross….man I miss you so much…..I don’t even know if you read my blogs but it feels so refreshing having you back in my life…I promise I will be home soon and we gotta go kick it!!.........

Love yall!!!

Church!!!!

IF YOU DON'T LEARN FROM HISTORY..........WHO SAYS??

2010-06-22T14:36:00.000-07:00

I am honestly running off 3 hours of sleep last night….well 5 if you include the two hour power nap I had when I got off work yesterday…..how are all my comrades doing today? I hope that you all are well and you are enjoying your week so far….mine has been iffy…..a few up and downs…..a couple of miscommunications…….and a sprinkle of broken promises….in other words, its been business as usual………ready to get off work, I know that much…..may even get into the studio tonight….yes, my work is never done……..

You ever have one of those stretches that put you to sleep?....I just did and it felt soooooo good!!.......

So today….or this morning around 2 o’clock, I decided it is time…….one of my main objectives in life is to give back to the community….as some of you know….while others could have guessed, I was the supreme knucklehead growing up….not a care in the world and didn’t give a hoot who knew….I was one of those smart kids that did stupid things…..finishing my work in class, going to the bathroom and get caught shooting dice….I would fight for no reason…curse out teachers just because….and wouldn’t go to school because I was sleepy……if it wasn’t for special people in my life, I probably would not be here to give my testimony…….I made a vow never to forget where I came from…….

When I went to college, I knew I wanted to be an educator…….to me, they were the ultimate role models…..I had heard about Malcolm, Martin, and Jesse…..but they were not prevalent in my life…but teachers were….through all my mishaps, they continued to encourage me and push me to greatness……I finally graduated and when I moved to Dallas I fulfilled my dream and started teaching……it was everything I wanted….and more……and also a nightmare……..

I learned that there are some teachers that do not care about the future of the kids….teaching has its perks and watching over high schoolers with no direction in life is not part of them……the administrators even showed a lack of affection and that bothered me……after three years in the school system, I decided to walk away……I couldn’t handle it……but my dream was not yet done…….

I still want to help kids…I still want to have involvement in the community…..that is….essentially (pun intended)…….the foundation of Essential Entertainment……to give back and give the community something it needs……so I have finally decided to prepare myself to open my youth center……now I know this will be a huge challenge for me and I have no idea of the obstacles that will be in front of me…but I am ready……or for a lack of a better term, my hand has been forced…….I thank my God for my job, but I cant take it anymore…it is so not me!!.......I love the working with people part but my destiny is an educator…..my vision is bigger than where I am now…….my life revolves around being able to help people….without that in my life, I don’t feel like the same person…..

As I stated, I know it will not be easy…..I asked myself last night, am I making it time because of myself or is God truly giving me the green light?......I guess that answer will be coming up shortly….they say Faith without works is dead…..and if I believe this is my calling, I must put forth that appropriate effort to make my dreams a reality……the thought of my own youth center and the work I have been doing today has really pumped me up……..I think that adrenaline is the only thing keep me awake at this point of the day…….and I know my rough draft of my business plan will not be the final copy……and that’s exciting…so many things to think up…so many moves I will have to make…locations…cost…..the vision and mission……its all going to be up to me and the moves I make will dictate the success of this upcoming endeavor……

But I need you guys help…give me names……locations…buildings…and even ideas as to how to make this a success…I still don’t know the whole Dallas/DFW metroplex so there may be a place I need to be that I don’t see right now…..I do plan on focusing on my tutoring more…..to broaden that avenue and to continue to put the youth center into action……all I ask is that you pray for me and that this great idea not develop from my thoughts, but from God’s mighty plan……….

THIS WEEKEND, ESSENTIAL ENTERTAINMENT WILL BE ONCE AGAIN HOLDING A CAR WASH AT THE CORNER OF PRESTON AND SPRING VALLEY!!......WE ARE RAISING MONEY FOR OUR BACK TO SCHOOL RAFFLE AND A TRIP TO RENO NEVADA…….PLEASE COME OUT AND SUPPORT!!...WE WILL HAVE FOOD, FUN, A RAFFLE, AND ENTERTAINMENT!!!......I WILL LET YOU ALL KNOW THE EXACT TIME WE WILL BEGIN….I NEED EVERYONE’S SUPPORT!!.........

Well I am about to wrap this thing up……I want to give a blessed shout out to all those that helped spare my life back in Flint…Mr. Rhymes, Ms Crain, Ms Rumph, Elder Rosborough, and all the other figures that made sure that this child was not left behind…..I hope and pray that I can do 1/100th of the things you did for me…..thank you so much and I love you…….

Love yall!!!!!!!

Church!!!!

WHOSE YA PAPPY??

2010-06-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

Oooohhhh…where shall I begin??.......good afternoon to you all and I hope you all had a great weekend…..as for me…..WHAT THE HECK IS A WEEKEND??.......work is on my mind like milk on cereal…..and this weekend, I got 2 scoops of it……all in all, a very fun and positive weekend…..now I am begging for the one thing I know I will not get….REST……and to all my fathers…..not to them suckas that claim to be a daddy, HAPPY BELATED FATHER’S DAY!!............

My dad called me yesterday to wish me Happy Father’s Day……I wasn’t going to call him……for my own reasons but I was hoping to hear from him……my dad and I have never had a close relationship….once, he was a prominent figure in my life but having a child wasn’t truly on his agenda…….it was crazy because his parents stayed right down the street from where my grandmother lived and I often saw him drive by in his Cadillac to their house…..from what I remember, he has been married three times…once to my mom…..once to this real nice lady…and once to this butthole of a woman…funny thing is……she used to go to our church……but she had a problem with my dad being in my life…….see she had two kids of her own and even though I am my dads only biological child, she only wanted him to focus on her family….so I, was the odd child out…..

I have pretty much known where my dad lived all my life….even used to go over there…..until one day, I could feel the tension in their house….so I had to step back…..when I was younger, I had an anger issue…..I remember getting in a car accident and calling to his house for help…we were right down the street from where he stayed…..his wife was there but he wasn’t…she refused to help me….when I went to college, he would promise me assistance……..I never heard from him…..I kept in contact with my grandparents and I even took my daughter over to their house…they called him to come see her….he was too busy……at home with the kids…….

When my grandfather passed in ’07, I became even angrier…..he didn’t even have the balls to show up at his funeral and pay his respects……this man took his place…helped raise me when he didn’t have to……my grandfather tried his best to teach me things about life in the midst of a huge generation gap…….somewhere in my soul, maybe I was hoping that this would be his wake up call since I no longer had a father in my life……this was not to be……at no point did I see him or receive a call consoling me and making sure I was alright……I guess since Willie Barker raised me for so long, he didn’t have to gauge my emotions……he didn’t care about them……..

Its funny though…..looking back, I loved my dad…..I don’t know why…maybe is was simply, he was my dad……he is an Omega and all my life, I thought that would be the path I would choose……not to talk down on any Greek organization, but by pledging Sigma, it symbolized me going my own route…..not to be like him “just because”…even though I am made from the same sloth and DNA, does not mean I have to carry on his legacy….for I have always felt that he gave me no legacy to carry…….I knew nothing about him except his name……and to me, it left a bad taste in my mouth………..

When my grandmother passed is when I started hating him…….my mother, for some unknown reason, kept in contact with my dad…….I didn’t…….and I think that bugged me a lot….I rarely talked to my parents, yet, they were good friends….was I not wanted??......when I got to Michigan for my granny’s funeral, I had heard that he cam to her house and got some food…….not to see me…….not to lift any spirits….but to eat…WTF?!!.........so I figured he would come back to see me…..after all, the parents that had raised me were both gone…….29 years old and no parent to call my own……..did he return….not at all…..but I did see him…….at the funeral…..now mind you, this is AT the funeral……..I am not in the mood for foolishness…..I am one of the few family members that is keeping together and just my nature is to make sure everything is going smoothly……here comes my dad…chest out…….smiling in church……WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SMILING FOR??......calling my name……I had already informed my little brother if he showed up there was a possibility of some pew moving going on up in there…..and here he comes trying to speak…calling my name all over the church…….I tried to avoid him once…..I ignored him twice…then he comes up to me and interrupts me while I was conversing with a woman from my old church……needless to say, I gave him a piece of my mind……my little brother rushed to stop me before I cold cocked him……he stormed off…never to be heard from again………

About 2 months ago, I called my grandmother…….she is always so happy to hear from me…..in one of those surprised motherly voices, she asked me about my family and how I was doing…..then she asked if I had talked to my father…….she informed me that she had heard what had happened and asked if I wanted her to give my dad my number……I didn’t care either way, figuring that he wouldn’t call………..but he did…….the same day……and when he called, he didn’t sound like the man that was doing it for the heck of it……..he spent most of our conversation apologizing………

I told him…..I never wanted money….I never wanted to compete with his new family…I didn’t even want a lot of his time….I just wanted a father…..someone I could call and vent to……go fishing with and learn from…….go to the mall and look at women with together….hell I have NEVER heard about the birds and the bees…..EVER…….I wanted someone that appreciated me going to college, pledging and making myself into a man…….he promised me on that day that he would from now on check on me……he would call me at least once a week……and he would check on me……..in my mind, “yeah right”……he said that before…..the last time I heard from him…..the VERY last time……….

But he has been a man of his word…and even when he doesn’t call me, I call him……..because I see that he is trying…..and that is all I ever asked for…..our relationship is still rocky…..its still hard to say “I love you dad”…….and its weird laughing with him about things that I had no clue we were so similar about……..but I would rather have this opportunity than any other……

Men…honor thy kids as much as you want them to honor you…..any male can make a baby….a daddy can pay child support…but a father is a rare and priceless commodity……if your kids just want to talk to you about absolutely nothing, let them…….don’t allow a ex girlfriend, wife, or sexual partner, stop you from one of the greatest joys in a child’s life……yes, we know that the mother is the more prominent figure in a kid’s life….but that doesn’t mean you take advantage of it and risk that child’s balance…..anybody can raise a kid…….anybody can be a daddy….but real men are born to be fathers!!!!.............

Happy Fathers Day to all!!!!!!

Church!!!

NO LEPRECHAUNS WITH MY WONDER PETS PLEASE!!

2010-06-18T14:22:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm…..what do I say…..I figure most of you don’t want to hear me brag about the Los Angeles Lakers winning the NBA champions……I know most of you don’t want to admit that Kobe Bryant is this generations Magic, Jordan, Wilt, Russell, and West……..and you probably don want me to say “ I told you so!!”……….so I won’t do that to you……all I will say is…….HA HA HA HA HA!!.......BOSTON SUX ROCKS!!!.......and now, on to next year!!!.........

Besides that, I hope to find you all in good spirits……it is the weekend so I hope you are able to have fun and not get frustrated in this heat!!......I don’t see how construction workers could do it in this weather!!.......this is that heat that makes folk mad……just angry for no reason…

If you don’t have anything to do tonight….or you wanna go somewhere peaceful, have some food and drinks……and enjoy yourself, come on out to our Laugh Out Loud Comedy Spectacle at Crystal’s tonight…….in Arlington……ladies, we want to see you in all your splendor…..we are celebrating the “Rebirth of Grown and Sexy”……please don’t show up in your white T, flip flops, tank top, or anything else you can sleep in……..we want you at your after work best…..fellas, a woman loves a man that looks and smell good…….and that doesn’t include putting cologne on to cover up your funk…….

And tomorrow, Spaceship Ohayses and Derek Daider will be live at HoodStock ’10 in Oak Cliff……we will be located next to Bahama Beach, close to Hampton…….its from 2-8pm………we will be celebrating Cri$ Ca$h of the Amazing Amateurs album release……..its a free party…BYOC…that’s bring your on cooler for the slow ones……and tomorrow night, Spaceship Ohayses will be performing with MoMu Entertainment at the Palladium……very excited about this event….been wanting to rock this spot since I found out about it….tomorrow is my chance…….if you are looking for something to do, make sure you come check me out over this weekend……

DID I MENTION THE LOS ANGELES LAKERS ARE THE 16 TIME NBA WORLD CHAMPIONS??

And most of the talk I have been hearing today is how Kobe should not have won MVP……last night he had the worst game of the series….yeah, he scored 23 points, but he missed all his three pointers and his stats were not up to par with some of his peers…….the thing I don’t get is….where would they be without him??......

Last night, there was a display of teamwork being showed and it was something that most people gave the advantage to Boston in that regard…….all we heard was the player versus the team……in game 7……the game that mattered the most, the Lakers proved that, when working on all cylinders, there team cant be stopped…….where then, was Boston deficient??......was it the loss of Perkins?...the fatigued of the playoffs?........or the referees not making the calls?.......to that I say it’s a simple answer: they had no leader……..

Yes, as Boston played within the confines of the team, they didn’t have that go to player……they didn’t have the one that would get hot and they would continue to feed the basketball……even as the clock winded down, the Celtics were still content…..or had the mentality of getting everyone involved……in basketball….and in life…..we all have positions to play…and sometimes, we have a right to step up and take control…….to act first…some people are destined to be leaders…while others, are destined to follow…….and there is nothing wrong with that……..have you ever been in a group and everyone conceded to everyone else’s ideas??...what happened??.....nothing was accomplished……within the last two minutes of the game, I saw one team knowing who was going to get the ball and another team passing the ball to whomever wanted it…….its all about gameplan and knowing your strengths………

Sometimes, we have to be leaders…sometimes we have to step up and take on the biggest piece of the pie….as much as we say Kobe is a ball hog or cocky, he relishes the opportunity to be that guy with the world on his shoulders…….no one else on that team would have been blamed for that loss…not Phil Jackson, not Gasol or Odom…….not the bench or the injuries….Kobe…….now think about the Celtics losing for a minute……who do we blame for the loss….no one…we will think that they were simply defeated…no one carries that burden….and maybe that’s a good thing……maybe its best that they all got blamed equally……….for my money though, sometimes you need someone to lead you………

I am still stuffed from lunch…..wow…..and I still have about an hour to go before my day is done…….I think I am going to go home and get me a power nap……..I haven’t had one of those in about a week……so it will be a good change of pace for me…..but I do have some dishes that are begging to get washed so I need to make that happen as well…….so many things…so little time to do them all………but now since hoop season is over, I will have more time to do more things around the crib………..

I will say this…because it is in my spirit……..DONT DISREGARD THE LIFE OF OTHERS…ALL BECAUSE THEY DON’T TELL YOU DOESN’T MEAN THAT ITS NOT HAPPENING…..ON THIS WALK WITH MY BLOGS, I AM LEARNING THAT SO MANY PEOPLE GO THROUGH SO MANY THINGS THAT WE DON’T EVEN FATHOM……SMILES ARE ALWAYS ENCOURAGED, BUT SOMETIMES, THEY ARE SIMPLY MASK…..TREAT PEOPLE WITH RESPECT AT ALL TIMES……YOU NEVER KNOW WHOSE DAY YOU ARE MAKING BRIGHTER JUST BEING A POSITIVE FIGURE IN THEIR LIFE…..AND YOU WILL FEEL BETTER TOO……..DONT BE A DAMPER IN THE WORK OF CHRIST…..ALL BECAUSE ITS EASIER TO PULL SOMETHING DOWN THAN TO LIFT IT UP, DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO DO IT………..

Shout outs to all my TRUE Laker fans out there…and I know there are not many of you……because you “don’t like Kobe”…that’s cool……..we do…and WE ARE YOUR 2009-2010 NBA WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!.......GOT SOME GRILLED CROW FOR YOU DOUBTERS……….

Love yall

FAT LADY DRINKING A CLEARLY CANADIAN RIGHT NOW!!

2010-06-17T18:38:00.001-07:00

Game 7……Lakers versus Celtics……people, it doesn’t get any better and bigger than this….if you like basketball just a tiny bit, you should be anticipating the electricity that is about to take place……it still amazes me how many people think the Celtics have a chance…..but I guess everyone wants to have an opinion……..

How are you all doing today…I’m okay….ready to get off work…..ready to go relax…thought I was going to hit Rack Daddy’s tonight but upon further review, I have changed my mind…..money funny and I don’t feel like going down there and not make any money to compensate for what I would spend……had a lot of fun last night at Rolls Royce……our crowd is coming back together……and the acts, as always were outstanding……the winner though kinda ticked me off, thinking he won the $250 after one show……I had to curse dude out!!...not that I wanted to……but he would shut up!!......its crazy because I have been hosting open mics for over three years and somehow, I am the one giving out misinformation……but I have found the origin of my frustrations………

The open mic is not mine…….and for so long…even up until now, I am the one that takes the majority of the blame that goes along with it…..I am the one getting phone calls about cost, acts, performance times, prizes, and judges……and now, its getting frustrated……I love hosting…and I don’t mind dealing with the b.s…….if its my mess……when I do shows in Arlington, of Ft Worth, and Dallas, it seems like the promoters want to make me the scapegoat for all bad things….and I am close to my boiling point…..its one of the reason I also don’t want to go host tonight……I am learning that I need creative control when I am hosting to help alleviate a lot of potential distractions to our show………or……I could just start my own open mic…….

I’ve been wondering for a while how many relationships I have lost due to people placing blame for things on me……and for those that I have worked with, I wonder if they even care……..

So I was talking to my home girl today while she was on her way to school….she was real agitated because her speedometer stopped working in her car……she was used to speeding....and although she wasn’t in any danger of being late, she wasn’t sure how fast she was going……cars began to past her and no matter how much she wanted to inch up their speed, she reluctantly didn’t……..not know how fast she was going made her slow down and pace herself………..

Sometimes in life, we don’t know how fast we are moving…..we become so wrapped up in “getting there”, we don’t have a chance to look down and see how fast we moving……and so many things can happen by going our own speed…accidents, tickets, and even running out of gas before our destination can occur if you don’t pace yourself……sometimes, when I am driving, I like to look at the signs to see my mile mark…how far do I have until my next destination….when I am speeding, I sometimes missed the sign and don’t know how far I have to go……all because I was rushing…..

And knowing your speed also allows you to estimate how much time it SHOULD take you to reach your destination……if I am driving 350 miles at 70mph, I should make it there in about 5 hours…….but if I don’t have a clue how fast I am going, I can become restless, impatient, and in extreme cases, feel like I am lost and turn around…..now I am back to square one…..going too fast and missing your mark can cause you to have to stop…..anyway…and ask for directions……now you still didn’t make it when you wanted to because you lost time have to get help……and don’t get me wrong…assistance is sometimes needed…..but why should we be the cause for simply not taking my time…….

When you feel like is moving to fast for you, check your speedometer and slow down…my grandmother used to say, “It doesn’t matter when you get there, as long as you get there.”……..a truer statement never been told…..we must make an effort to protect ourselves....continue to push towards your destiny…….but watch your speedometer…you may be moving too fast……….

Well the game is one…..Lakers are down right now…..but it’s only the first quarter…..so I am going to let yall go for the evening………

Shout outs to my man Raymond…even though we have had our differences between Kobe and Jordan, I appreciate that you at least still stay in contact with me…….I may come holla at ya tonight fam!!!

Love yall!!

Church!!!

RUN THE STREETS ALL DAY, I'M GOING TO SLEEP NOW!!

2010-06-16T14:38:00.001-07:00

I’m here people…how are you all doing today…man, I have been so busy today…and the party doesn’t stop yet…its going down tonight….and for the first time in a long time, I am really excited about it…….hope everyone has had a good day and are doing all to get through this hump day…….

TONIGHT IT’S GOING DOWN AT ROLLS ROYCE!!....9220 SKILLMAN STREET…..ITS ROCK OUT WEDNESDAY!!!....OPEN MIC SHOWCASE HOSTED BY YOUR BOY SPACESHIP OHAYSES!!......DOORS OPEN AT 9…..SHOW STARTS AT 10…….PLEASE COME OUT AND SUPPORT LOCAL HIP HOP……THE WINNER HAS AN ABUNDANCE OF PRIZES AWAITING THEM…….SO DONT MISS OUT ON THE NEXT HOTTEST ARTIST….

Wow…the Essential Entertainment family is becoming all that I wanted and more…God has really blessed me with a team that probably has more passion than myself….all day I have not stopped working…..no, it may not have been “job related” but it sure has been “career related”….there is an old adage about not opening a can of worms….and I know why now….the squirm everywhere!!......and once a great mind of worms is loose, watch out!!.......this has been one my greatest days of business, if for nothing else, but the interaction between us and having the opportunity to hear ideas from well rounded and intelligent folks….and yes that includes you Daider!!........

Don’t forget about the upcoming events this weekend…..if you don’t have anything planned, make sure you come check out what Essential Entertainment is all about….. I know I am going to be tired, but isn’t that what business is all about……and as long as we are pushing toward a higher goal, none of the work is in vain……

Today, I realized a valuable lesson…..the quickest way to something is a straight line…..but yet, why is it so hard for us to display this?.......I remember being younger, we used to play this game called telephone…you would start with one person and by the time the saying, word or phrase got to the end of the line, its totally different…….in life, we have a tendency to play telephone….most of it is our fault….and its not by accident…..why is this?...why do we choose to allow others to speak for us…..we swear to the good Lord above about our maturity, how independent we are, and how we want respect……the problem is, our actions don’t give off these characteristics……speaking to my team today, I learned their thoughts…I was able to understand their views on things as well as their ideas……it would be difficult to get Joyia’s opinion on something from Daider…..and vice versa…..we cant always go to a secondary source….nor is it needed…..

I think it has to do with fear…above all…..fear of rejection…fear of not being appreciated…fear of backlash….and most importantly, fear of consequences…….if we take the time to look around us, we are playing telephone constantly……a news article with an “unnamed source”?......telephone……having a meeting with Human Resources at your job?.......telephone…..rumors and things people supposedly said about us…yep, telephone…..now you may ask, “how can we stop this epidemic?”……lets be more up front with ourselves…I understand that the game of telephone will never end…but we must be accountable for ourselves first….don’t be accused of playing telephone…..I cant say that everyone will agree with your decisions, opinions, and lifestyle……but they do have to respect your honesty and willingness to be free……and that’s the key…..how many things can you truly do at once holding a phone?.....and I’m not talking about a Bluetooth……..not many……..relinquishing your telephone will allow you the ability to not have to endure unnecessary drama, backlash, or miscommunications…….the choice is yours……but in the meantime, your phone is ringing….go pick it up………

Well I am out of here…..took me a little longer than usual…..got to talking about the Lakers!!!!...yes, we are going to game 7…I know I said six games and that’s my fault…but a win is a win…..it kills me how many people don’t like the Lakers because their team is not in the playoffs anymore…(cough, cough: Mavs fans!!)……..no prediction…I already know who is going to win……..

I want to give a special shout to someone I work with that is truly a blessing to know….when we first met, the relationship was kind of rocky…….but I think she started to understand me and whenever I have a problem at work, I know I can call on her and she will give me some reasonable advice……she typically has a smile on her face and she carries herself professional at all times…..thank you Faith for being so cool to a brother like me……you are an awesome woman………

Love yall!!!!!

Church!!!!

NAME DROPPING FROM AN UNNAMED SOURCE.....

2010-06-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

Hello folks!!...how are you all doing today??.......i'm good…..actually got to work on time!!....but I did get written up….apparently the shirt I wore to work Saturday, some deemed inappropriate…and it was……and I was wrong....so my punishment is warranted…..that’s what I get for not caring…which I should…..besides that, I have had a great day though……its crazy how a mind state can change everything…….yeah, I’m still stuck in my situation…..and I truly don’t know how I am going to get out of it…and I’m not saying I don’t care….but I am at a point where whatever happens, happens……my faith is all on God right now…….

Checking out the calendar, I got a few shows this weekend…I hope you can make it out to a few of them for some support………

Wednesday-CLUB ROLLS ROYCE (Doors open @ 9pm, show starts @ 10pm)
Thursday-RACK DADDY'S IN ARLINGTON (Off Cooper)
Friday- CRYSTAL'S IN ARLINGTON (Laugh Out Loud Comedy/Rebirth of Grown & Sexy Friday)
Saturday-THURGOOD MARSHALL PARK (@ 2pm-Chri$ Ca$sh Album Release/Block Party-Spaceship & One Night Stand will be performing)
Sunday-EBENEZER WORSHIP CENTER IN RICHARDSON (Church starts @ 11 & I will be performing)
Sunday Night-I will be performing at Club Rolls Royce for a Father's Day concert

Yeah….wow….exactly what I was thinking when I wrote it down…….so I need to be getting some sleep tonight….but I still have things to do……..actually got some sleep last night…..and its funny….I slept a long time and this morning I was still sleepy….but when I only get a few hours of rest, I can typically wake up on time without feeling so tired……I have no idea what’s that all about……….

So I told yall I went to church Sunday…and they message was about “what do you do”…….it was a very good lesson and I took a lot out of it…….one thing that grabbed my attention was a comment he made about periods and commas……so I took that piece and I started thinking…..”What in my life is a period and what is a comma?”…….these things we need to distinguish……when we read a sentence and see a period; we know that the thought is done….completed statements if you will……

The dog ran behind the house.

Nothing more, nothing less….we know who did what……but when you have that comma…….more is to come…….

The dog ran behind the house, hoping to find that pesky cat………

Now we get the why…….we get to understand the meaning of his journey……now the analogy may be a little off but so many times we forget that God’s word is our comma….no matter what we go through…..no matter the obstacles that are set forth…..we live within the confines of a comma….until we receive that ultimate period…..death people….we always have a chance to continue our efforts……

The reason this touched me is because due to the things that have been going on in my life, I was living with a period state of mind…….bills due…relationship sucks…….work a struggle…..I felt that all that I was up against ended in a period…..but God will neither leave us nor forsake us…and that’s my comma….I may be struggling now……but my life isn’t over…and until that final curtain call, we can continue to live with that comma…….

“For God so loved the World,”

We are living in a time where it is a lot easier to give up….its a lot easier to succumb to travesties of the world….but we cant…..and I guess in a way, I am talking myself out of quitting….yeah…….ya boy has been going through and the difficulties have made me reconsider my worth to this place called Earth…..but one thing I have learned…..you can’t dictate when your book is done being written…..sometimes in a scary movie, I close my eyes……I know what’s about to happen……I understand this is the purpose for the movie…..and yet, I still don’t want to see it…….in real life…we cant close our eyes…there is no fast forward or rewind button…..once you hit eject, you cant put it back in……we have to face our obstacles head on and continue toward the High Mark…….its all just a matter of commas and periods………

Well, I am about to get out of here…..shout outs to my sis, Charita…..Charita has information about the National HIV Testing Day 5K Run/Walk @ Reverchon Park.....its starts at 7am in the morning.....I would love for all of us to be in the attendance...this is a good look and something very positive that Essential Entertainment will have their hands in.....I love her for her community involvement……it keeps me on my toes……and that’s what EE is all about…….she thinks I am playing when I say this but she is a role model to me…..and why cant friends be role models??.......love you Sexy Redd!!!!............

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

MENTALLY SEGREGATED THOUGHTS

2010-06-14T13:51:00.000-07:00

I guess I need to get this thing started…how are you all doing today?.....I’m feeling pretty good….kinda weird….but not in a bad way……in a spiritually content way……not concerned with my circumstance right now……or at least I try not to be……how was you all weekend?......I pray I am still conversing with the same amount of people that I was on Friday…..and that your families were covered and protected as well…….my weekend was quite eventful…….when people here at work have asked me how it was, I truly don’t have an answer……….

Friday night, of course, I ended up at Crystal’s for the Laugh Out Loud Comedy Show…..you talk about funny!!!....it has been a long time since I laughed that much….and not at my own jokes…….you know laughter really is good for the soul…..you don’t think about anything bad or negative when you are too busy wiping snot from your eyes because you were laughing as you took a sip of your drink…..great job to all the comedians….if you want to come out for some grown and sexy fun, holla at me…I will have tickets and possibly, some VIP passes…….

Saturday I had to work…..and then afterwards, I went to the open casting call for Oprah’s new television show……now, to some, it may seem as though nothing came from it…..but the whole episode was truly amazing and a work of God……Saturday morning, I looked on the website to see if I needed any additional information going to the audition…found out I had to fill out an application……16 pages worth of questions…..I couldn’t fill them out at work because my computer froze trying to print and by the time I did get them, it was close to leaving time……at 12…mind you, sign up was from 7am-12pm, so I already knew if I decided to go, there was a possibility I may not even get seen…..I briefly glance at the address and go home so I can complete the app as fast as possible……I leave home around 12:50……..I remember the street the store was located at so I drive about 20-25 minutes to this street….come to find out…..(thanks Lisa)…….that the store I was looking at was back on my side of town…from my house, it probably would have been about 15 minutes…..now its been about 45 minutes……I get to the department store the casting calls are located at and I see the camera crew packing up and everyone anxious to go back to the hotel and relax……there was one last group auditioning…after some fast talking and maneuvering, I am allowed to join that group for my audition…..they are almost done so I walk right in and get to it…….I think I did pretty well, but what happened after is the best part…this lady walks up to me……..she hands me a business card and compliments me on my vision and idea for a television show……then she drops the bomb….SHE HELPS PEOPLE SELF-PUBLISH BOOKS!!!.......now for those that are in this loop called my blog, you know what that means…….no, I didn’t get a second call to come back an audition…..but I may have an opportunity to finally get my book to the masses….and just the other day, my brother Larry was telling me how I need to go ahead and put this book out…..uh……can you say confirmation???........

So Sunday…..boy Sunday……I went to my man’s Cecil church and I truly enjoyed myself….just a few things to note…….I have NEVER heard E-40 and Sam Cooke played in church……and don’t think it didn’t have a purpose……it went right along with the message and showed how hip hop can be incorporated into worship…..the church isn’t big…and I like that to a certain extent….so the pastor didn’t have to walk far to come grab me and get my attention……what did he want??....was he going to lay hands on me?.....did he feel a spirit pulling him to me?.......was he a prophet about to tell me how he knows my struggles?.....none of the above…he just wanted to ask me if I was going to rap at his youth program next week…..WT-???.......see, Cecil is his son…and Cecil is also the drummer in the band One Night Stand….which also happens to be the band that played with me for the Essential Victory Concert…….sooooo, in other words…..I am assuming he told his father I was good….now I have to create a gospel song for next week…because I will NOT be in church performing, “I’m A Freak”…….I’m not that bad………..

Got to work today and my boss instantly tried to make my day a bad one….and I could have easily fell for it….but I didn’t……and its unusual…….somebody told me it’s a sign of growth….I think it was almost a sign of resignation….I’m tired of being sad and angry and hurt…….it was like the devil knew I woke up in a good mood and wanted it to change instantly….the crazy thing is, although my actions may have been the appropriate actions, they were not my doing……I could have cared less about what he was saying…..but by me biting my tongue, I was able to not allow the negative thoughts become actions……..

Well, I think I am about to get out of here…wanted to talk about a little bit more…….but I know this blog would be way too long for that…….and to all my Laker fans…have no fear…please…have no fear………..

Shout outs to my man Cecil for inviting me to your church this past Sunday bro…I totally enjoyed it…if you all want to fellowship with us this Sunday, holla at me…I will definitely get you the address so you can worship with us……..

Love yall!!!!!!!

Church!!!!!

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY'S WATCHING ME!!

2010-06-11T15:27:00.000-07:00

Why do I have that Usher song OMG stuck in my head??....I don’t even know the words to the song but I think it’s on a commercial…..isn’t it??.......how are you all doing today?......me, I’m good…finally got a haircut……its weird how getting your head cut can make it lighter…I know I was rough and I started feeling that way as well…….its Friday, so I want you all to be safe tonight if you decide to go out……I’m pondering where imp going to end up tonight…..probably crystals….but hey you never know……

OOOH!!!....ladies…now you know how I feel about red toenails…..and although there is nothing that can compare to my distaste of that site, I have realized there is another thing that really messes with my nerves……DO NOT……WEAR SANDALS……IF YOUR HEELS ARE DARKER THAN YOU!!!......what’s up with this epidemic??......you know how lil kids have those wheels on their shoes and they can motor around??.......some of these women look like they have been doing that barefoot……imp not getting it…….imp not understanding why it is so imperative to show everybody how unkempt your feet are……newsflash…..sometimes pedicures don’t even work……try Vaseline and aluminum foil……..

I got an itch to record…haven’t had that in a while……I hope to record possibly one more album before I decide if I want to retire from performing…..I love performing….don’t get me wrong…..but for Essential Entertainment to continue to be a major force in the entertainment industry, we all have a certain position to play…..imp not so sure mine is making music anymore……or at least on the regular…..I am falling in love with putting together programs…..and of course hosting shows….as long as I am in the entertainment business, its fine by me……and with the great artist that we currently have in Essential Entertainment……Wyze, Derek What’s His Face, and DLP, I don’t need to be in the spotlight in a musical capacity…all the time…..in the meantime though…..I’m ready to drop my new album……either will be titled “Incredible’s Playground” or “Dessert For All”…….which one do you prefer……

Think I need to make a trip to see my old producer….yeah….THAT producer…don’t think he is going to be happy to see me…but it needs to be done…..that’s one of the hard things about being in this industry….allegiances form and die very quickly and often…..I’m hoping that there will be positive resolution….in all honesty, I’m tired of the bull….I’m tired of not being able to communicate with people like a man should…..it should not have taken me this long to make this move but I figured I could let thing pass and move on with my life….that’s not true…sometime we have to confront our obstacles and tribulations……running scared live you less options than standing up and being a man in any issue…….

How is it that Jayla knows to ask me to go to Chuck E Cheese on pay week…..ALL THE TIME!!...this isn’t just a one time thing…..she does this bi weekly…..she’s four…..is she learning the value of a dollar already?......or is she learning to keep up with her man’s money…..maybe I should ask Stephanie……..

I went off on a tangent earlier so I will finish my tangent line…..thinking about becoming a comedian…..yes me……not sure yet…..but I would like to try one stand up routine and see if I am any good…..maybe…….if all else fails, I can stand on the stage and make my nose flare up……..

Please pray for me…tomorrow is the open casting call for Oprah’s next talk show…yes I am going……I still need to do my audition tape…Stephanie and I made one about a week ago but it was denied more than likely because I put the pinky up…….but tomorrow, they will be in Plano…..my only problem is if I will make it in time for the auditions…I have to work in the morning and so I will be major pressed to get a chance…..there will probably be so many people there…..pray for me…..once I am on the website, I would love for everyone to vote for me and get everyone they know to vote for me as well….and if you are really good…..get everybody that they know to vote for me as well……how awesome would that be!!!.......

Well, I think I am about to get up out of here…whatever I decide to do tonight, I need a nap before that happens……want to give a special shout out to my homie Joyis…..you may not realize it…but today’s talk did me a world of good…..you are too awesome for your own realization and I thank you for caring so much about Essential Entertainment……if everyone was as authentic in your dedication, we would be on People Magazine in no time……your work and determination is always noticed…from the bottom of my heart…..THANKS!!!!.........

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

I THOUGHT THAT WAS RED KOOL-AID!!!

2010-06-10T18:16:00.000-07:00

I have been sleepy ALL DAY!!!.....and I probably wont get any sleep tonight as well……but hey, that’s the life…..how are you all doing today?....one more day until the weekend……at least for most of us…I’m working all this weekend so I truly wont have time to rest…….unless I find time….Stephanie told me the other day, I am the only person she knows that takes power naps as soon as I get home from work….I figured…..either she doesn’t know many people……or she was just talking to hear herself speak……because I needs my naps…should have went home today for lunch!!!......

Now when I am sleepy, I have a tendency to ramble…..if you see that happening, stop me and bring it to my attention….oh yeah, you cant stop me…you are reading this!!......well, deal with it and respond back to me…….

I have a question…how many of you have listened to my music???......I’m just wondering…..if you haven’t, go on to iTunes or Amazon and check it out for yourself…..if you have the funds, pick up a song or two, or buy the whole album……I would greatly appreciate it……..

I’m starting a new series next Wednesday…….its going to be called “Why Wednesdays”…..but in order for it to be successful, I will need you all’s help……each Wednesday, I want to ask questions that we all think about starting with “Why”…..like, Why do women shaved all their eyebrows off and draw them on?.....or “Why do fat people order a lot of food and then get a Diet Coke?”…….hopefully, we can get some answers to these tough questions…..all I ask, if you have a “Why Wednesday” question is to email it to me……I want to have fun with this series……and if your question is inappropriate, understand it will not be posted up on here…….

For some reason today, I was thinking about my blow out a few weeks ago…….recalling the events is painful, but I had to put them in perspective……I saw that my tires were showing tread…they were wearing out…..but I……figuring that I have all the right answers decided to continue to drive my truck without any thought of the repercussions…..the tire was cool on the highway….there was no traffic and no foreseeable litter that could disrupt my trip……as soon as I felt the traffic coming on, I braced myself……I always have a sense of fear when I am in traffic because you never know what’s going on in the mind of the other drivers……..I soon saw something in the road……I tried to maneuver myself so I wouldn’t hit it…..an 18 wheeler was in the lane next to me…..he did nothing wrong…he stayed in his lane and continued to drive…I tried hard to get the driver’s attention so I could avoid the possible damage….it was too late…..BOOM!!....next thing I know I am on the side of the road, feel hopeless…….

Now the bad part of the story was what happened after……people were driving by, but no one was of assistance….I had someone come but they didn’t have the tools needed to change my flat…….I went to tire shops and the workers didn’t speak English…..I was stuck……the more I looked for help, the more time went by and I started t think I wouldn’t get any help…did I call roadside assistance…sure did…but they told me I needed to have my own tools…….

The reason I bring up this story is because in life, we have a tendency to see things getting worse and we ignore them…..we think we have it under control….the fact is, something’s are not in our control…….and even when they are, we must take the necessary steps to have the tools we need just in case something happens……whether it’s a relationship, family, finances, or even a hobby……..we can set ourselves up for failure by not thinking things through and being proactive…..and then, we get caught in the conundrum……we try to find anyone we can to help us……the harsh reality?........we need to be able to help ourselves first…..there may be people in our lives that can get us out of sticky circumstances, but its not for them…..there is a difference between a blessing and a crutch……we all can be blessings to one another but not a crutch……because of our misjudgments, we cant expect people to do things on our time……even God doesn’t do that, so why expect man……we know what we are getting ourselves into…..but our reluctance to understand consequences makes life harder than it should be….if you see tread on your tire, go change it……you can do more harm letting it go than good……..

Well, the Lakers play again tonight……dude at work just bet me $20 that the Celtics are going to win this series…..easiest money I have ever made in my life……lol……..but for all those that are still doubting, its cool…..go change your tire!!!..........

Also…..I want to say this not because I am hurt or scorned….its an observation and I know there are a lot of entrepreneurs on this list……DON’T LET ANYONE DOUBT YOUR DREAM!!.....some people can’t be your friend if they don’t support you……its life…we have to get over it!!.......as a good Christian man, I try my best to stay in the loop with people, even though I know they wish my downfall…and some just have heavy doubt…..its okay if you don’t associate with them!!.......they are not helping your progress anyway!!!....sure we will all have people that try to squeeze the joy out of us….as my granny used to say, “feed em with a long handle spoon”…….its amazing how some people don’t have anything to say to me until something bad happens or they are trying to get info on some drama……don’t address it…love those that love you back…and are not stalkers!!!!!!..............

Well I think I am done for the evening….I am going to try to work for the remaining time I am here…..please check out the music……..hit me up on facebook, twitter, anything you want…..once again, you have been warned……..

Shout outs to my girl Koi….she has an important job interview tomorrow and when two or more are in agreement, God hears our prayers…say a prayer for her tonight that she will get the blessing she rightfully deserves……and fathers…..don’t wait until next week to see your kids…that was just on my heart!!.........

Love yall!!!

Church!!!

IT'S BETTER OUT THAN IN!!

2010-06-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

Hmmmmm…feels like I haven’t written you guys in years!!!.....how are you all doing?.......im good….just figured out if today is Wednesday or Thursday……my days are getting quite blurry……just got out of a training course and my word!!...it’s amazing the things women say when they are not paying attention!!......it was a learning experience that I truly needed….got a few things to talk about……so let’s get to them shall we?........

So today I got stuck in some conversations about the controversial words Slim Thug had to say about black women and relationships…..now I don’t want to provoke any additional comments with my thoughts…..but its amazing how you can speak for ages and a woman will pick one thing and try to dissect that diluting the whole point of your message……if you missed it, he was discussing dating black women as opposed to other races and why that is…..now, I don’t agree with his points….I simply feel a larger issue was missed that should be addressed….instead of ridiculing and talking down on folks, why are we not into the building each other up?....why must we lose contentment for instance material success?........is love really important nowadays and does it actually cover a multitude of things??......our community needs a reality check and I think this may be the start……….

Of course I was being looked at as if I agreed with him……I was leaving home today at lunch and thought to myself, “what if he doesn’t even believe what he was saying?”……what if it was all for attention?.......is Slim Thug, by the response of his comments, really that ignorant, or just that smart?.....knowing me, I would have asked that question knowing that it totally didn’t affect me……but its something that bubbles under the surface of relationships that is never addressed…….who knows!!......

Speaking of Slim Thug, I was watching the Hip Hop Honors on VH-1 the other night…..noticed something odd….there was no artist from Dallas representing the South…..don’t even think there was one in the audience……and I wonder why?......not going to bash anyone, but its apparent, there is a lack of hip hop going on here…..and its frustrating….even if its not Spaceship Ohayses, I see too much talent on a day to day basis for it not to be on a national spectrum…….who do we give credit too for this handicap?......do we blame the artist for not pushing themselves out there enough…..do we blame the DJs for playing music that puts money in their pockets as opposed to new hot music that could create a legacy?.......do we blame the fans for not supporting local music?....and with Dallas being such a melting pot, what is local music anymore?.....is it that imperative to get someone from Oak Cliff on?........are local music heads that concerned that someone not from Dallas, that lives in Dallas would get on first and they still wont have credit?......its a disturbing thought……of all the major cities in America, Dallas does not have one artist they can claim to be a superstar…..and please don’t give me Erycka Badu…..you know what I am talking about…….

TONIGHT IS ROLLS ROYCE!!.....IT’S THE OPEN MIC SHOWCASE..STILL GIVING AWAY $250……LOCATED AT 9220 SKILLMAN STREET IN NORTH DALLAS!!...DOORS OPEN AT 9……SHOW STARTS AT 10…….DJ BIG KATT ON THE ONES AND TWOS WITH SPACESHIP OHAYSES AS YOUR HOST AND MASTER OF CEREMONIES…….BEEN A MINUTE, BUT STILL BLAZING HEAT!!!........COME ON OUT AND WATCH THE BEST OF THE BEST!!!........

The best of the best…..sounds like the Los Angeles Lakers…….so many people here at work thought that when they lost game two, it was a wrap for them…there was no way they were going to win in Boston…..LMAO at the egg on your face…understand this…I am not just a Kobe fan…I am a laker fan…and they have the best team in the league…yeah, the Celtics have had a good run in the playoffs but they were and average team at best this season….age will get to you…….and after playing 20 extra games this postseason, eventually they will break down…..do I think the series is over?......no not yet…I see Lakers in 6…did I say that with my original pick?........not sure…..but that’s what I see now!!!......

Thinking about publishing my book….I know you guys received another chapter yesterday….I’ve been reading it more an more lately……and I think I want to go ahead and try to release it again…..I think it’s a pretty good read…..what do u guys think?.....I would love for it to be turned into a movie……probably starting in July, I will work on getting the book released…….and then finish up on the second part of it…..

So let me give you a quote…haven’t talked to Rika in a minute so I don’t have nay new quotes…..at least from her……but I do have one I would love to share with you all……

“Remember the past, plan for the future, but live for today, because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come."

Shout outs to my girl Lauren……she is truly going through right now but God has his hands on her….tonight simply say a prayer…if you get this in the morning, again, say a prayer for her……she needs it al land I know miracles happen everyday……

Also, a shout out to the Cakelady, Chef Chaq…if anyone needs a cake done, I think you need to let me know…she is absolutely awesome at what she does and within reasonable prices…….don’t disappoint someone because its convenient for you…..if you want the best wedding, birthday, anniversary, or just because cake, Chef Chaq is what that is………

Any artist that would like to participate in the $500 Industry Idol Competition in Arlington should also get at me……last week, we had K104 in the building along with other celebs that may possibly make your career….its worth a try!!

Love yall!!!!!!

Church!!!!

REAL THUGS DONT GO TO COLLEGE: NO MORE PREVIEWS!

2010-06-08T14:17:00.000-07:00

Chapter 3

Middle school was an extension of what was becoming of me in elementary school. I still did shit that got me in trouble, not caring about consequences because I knew I wouldn't get in trouble. Since Grandma worked and Granddad did all the errands, I became accustomed to when he woke up, ate breakfast, left, and when he would come home to wait on Grandma- all from the window of my neighbor Junebug.
Junebug was a 47-year-old crack head that was the victim of General Motors' first lay-offs. He's had the house he stays in since he was twenty. First person on the block with everything. He was like our role model; his shit was straight and he was cool. We could go over there for something to eat, see some pussy, or just chill out after school and homework. Grandma didn’t care if me or Harold went over there because his momma and my granny were best friends. They used to gamble with some of their friends from the block in playing Pokeno.
One day, I came home from school early (actually, I got kicked out for putting a girl's hair on fire) and went over to Junebug's house. I had to ride the bus home so I didn’t have a chance to smoke my afternoon Black and Mild. Instead of having to walk the block a couple of times, I decided to go over to Junebug's. He let us smoke. Not weed or anything, but Blacks and Squares were cool. I went over to Junebug's and his front door was open. This wasn’t like him; he felt like the way to a woman’s heart was your home. He kept his hit nice. Junebug would make you take your shoes off at the door. No way would he leave the door open for people to just walk up in his crib. Ain't nobody gonna think to take their shoes off. At least I didn't.
"Bug!"
"Bug!"
His lights were off. There was nothing going on in his crib. No tv, no cooking, nothing even upstairs. That's strange. He would even put on music when he was sleeping. I walk up the steps and see him sitting on his bed lighting something up.
"Bug! What's wrong with you?"
"I'm cool. Just in here chillin for a second."
"Whatcha smoking on? Isn't that cocaine?!"
"Nah. It's crack though. I know you don't know the difference since you're so young."
"I know the difference Bug."
"Well, crack ain't as bad as pure cocaine. That shit'll fry your brains. Plus, I only do this, this shit on occasions. Sometimes when shit starts getting to me, I hit one of these motherfuckas. Not that it changes anything, but I be fucked up."
"You must have got laid off too."
Junebug paused and sobered up questioning did I just have the audacity to question his life. There was one rule to Junebug: don't question his life. Here I was at one of his most vulnerable moments asking him something I assume personal to him and saying it like I meant to say it.
"How you know about the layoffs?"
"My granny was talking to my aunt about it."
"Oh."
"Plus we watched the news coverage in class on channel 66."
"Yeah, I got laid off. I'm cool though. 27 years in the shop is good time. I got the house paid for, my cars are paid for, and I've saved a little. Hell, I might even take a trip and leave you in charge of the house, you be
over here so much. Who knows? That shit was fucked up though, u'know? I never missed a day of work and was so close to retirement. I would have preferred the choice of retiring early than to just be let go. The shit was foul, somebody needs to do something about this."
Junebug was getting more upset the more he talked about it. Every time he stopped to think, he would turn his physical concentration on lighting this glass dick in his mouth. The more he talked, the more he smoked. This was the first time I had ever seen the development of somebody getting high.
AND HE WAS GETTING HIGH OFF CRACK!!
"So that's why you smoke crack?", I had to ask him again since he had refused to answer me the first time.
"It's not what you do, it's how you do it."
"Some things you shouldn't do Bug. My auntie smoked that shit and we ain't heard from her in a couple of years."
"I'm sensible with mine Clay. I appreciate you concern, but to answer you question, again, I don't do this all the time. And Ima really stop now since I don't have a job. Gotta save my pennies now. This will probably be the
last day I smoke this shit. Clay, will you do me a favor?"
DO HIM A FAVOR? WHATEVER HE WANTED ME TO DO, I DIDN'T WANT TO DO. YEAH, JUNEBUG'S MY MAN BUT HE'S ON CRACK RIGHT NOW.
"What's up Bug?"
"Will you go around to Mikey's house and pick up my medicine for me. He went to the store for me while I was at work and I forgot to go over there when I got off."
AND I SEE WHY!!
"Sure. I'll be right back."
"Wait. Here."
Junebug goes into his pocket and pulls out a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The only time I would ever hold a big face was when we went X-mas shopping with my grandma and she would let us pay for the gifts she was actually buying.
"And keep the rest for yourself."
That's some bullshit. Teasing me with the "keep the change" phrase. I would have rather went for free than to tip me three dollars like it was going to miraculously change my fortune.
"Aight. I'll be back in a minute."
Mikey was Junebug's cousin that lived around the corner. He was one of those fat cats that always got something to say because if he stopped to breathe, he would sound like he was snoring. He sold weed and I figured this is what Junebug wanted me to get from him. I had got some weed from Mikey in the past and it felt kind of cool being twelve years old getting weed from the dope man. I felt I had a little clout in the hood. I still didn't know too many people, but I knew some people that knew some people. So even if you didn't know me, I looked familiar to you. On my way to Mikey's, I decided to spend my three dollars on two faygos, an ice cream sandwich, and a pack of blacks. As I turned the corner on Page, Mikey was outside with a couple of his homeboys working on a car.
"Young Clay! Got kicked out again huh?", Mikey chuckles as if he doesn't need the answer; the proof is walking right up to him.
"Man this girl in class put her hair on my lighter while I was trying to fix it."
"That lil nigga nuts", I hear one of the guys say from the other side of the car. "You wild for that shit."
"Yeah, I'm out of school for five days. I might come
over here and chill out until my granddad leave if it's cool with you Mikey."
"Whenever dude. What's good? How's grandma?"
"She good. Oh, I came over here for some medicine for Bug."
"Why the hell he send you. Bug a dumb ass. Hold on for a minute youngster." Mikey hadn't ever tripped on me about getting some weed before. But then again, Junebug had never asked me to get him some weed: he just told me to. So these were the first two hints that what I was getting was not what I thought I was getting.
"Here Clay. He give you the money?"
I pulled out the hundred and gave it to Mikey with one last glance of despair. Maybe I should have kept it and tried to convince Bug that he didn't give it to me. As I waited for the change, I got nosey because Mikey kept recounting the change he was about to give to me but I noticed it had a twenty in it.
"Here ya go. TAKE THAT TO HIM QUICK."
I was in such awe that he just gave me 60 dollars back, that I didn’t realize that what he was giving me was not a sack of weed, it was two twenty dollar rocks. I put
it in my pocket, not looking (I never looked at the product in front of the dealer, I wanted the impression that I was cool wit it) and marched out the crib. Sixty dollars in my pocket and I ain't got shit to do with it. I felt like ballin' out. At three, I was at the mall, buying something. But first, I had to take Junebug his medicine, grab my Blacks and get a faygo.

DIFFERENT BOOK, SAME STORY........

2010-06-04T14:16:00.000-07:00

Whew!!......it’s Friday!!....and I am so ready to go……I hope you all are having a great day and are ready for the weekend……I know I am……even though I have to work…..ugh!!....but I need it…and no matter what, I have to sacrifice……at least I can rest through the evenings…for now that is……got the Essential Entertainment picnic tomorrow…nothing big....just going to get together with the camp, fellowship and plan out some things for the rest of the year…..

My big thing is giving myself…as well as the company enough time to implement ideas….when I get a thought, I usually try to make it happen instantly…but I am learning that that is not the way to maximize profit and productivity…..I cant wear people out by trying to rush my ideas…or press them to make things happen….by giving more time to get things done, I think we could make sure every avenue is hit properly to create better opportunities for Essential Entertainment………

Last night I went to Rack Daddy’s to host their Industry Idol…..to all artist that want to get heard by people in the industry, on the radio, and making decisions….THIS IS WHERE YOU WANT TO BE!!!.......I realized something very important though……I need to make me a contract……the reason I say this is because I saw my craft not being taken seriously and it truly irked me……not by the promoters, but the DJ, his buddies and whoever else wanted the mic…..don’t want to toot my own horn, but as an MC, I need order…I don’t like a bunch of people on stage……a bunch of people trying to get on the microphone, and a bunch of people trying to give orders….it causes confusion…..with a contract, I can put my request on paper and if the promoter doesn’t want to adhere to the terms, I can walk away and not feel bad…and its not just for the Industry Idol…I have noticed this at a lot of my shows…..and I cant take it……so now I must continue to get my business game up…….

Heard my frat brother that got fired may not have gotten fired for what was originally thought to be the reason….rumor has it that it was sexual harassment……and so me being me……I asked the girl that people alleged said it…and when we talked, she had some valid points……if you listen closely around this building, probably 75-80% of the people here are guilty of sexual harassment…….now if we picking and choosing, I could see that…..but its really hard for me to believe that people are getting fired for that……this company should be empty if that was the case…hell I get harassed everyday ear hustling…these young ladies up here are worse than the guys…….but I guess we are still in a society where men cant be harassed by women…or at least taken seriously…….

Remember when you were young and they had these certain type of books?.......they were called “choose your own adventure?”…and depending on what page you turned, you had different scenarios and endings to the story…well I was talking to Mama C today and we discussed how we choose our own adventures in life…but with a twist……when things happen to us, sometimes, the story we tell ourselves dictate how we respond and how much added stress we add on……I will use myself as an example….over the past few months, I have had some financial strain….now I can say, “oh, just an unfortunate incident” or I can say, “this happened because of something I did in the past”…then I begin to feel bad about things I have done and unconsciously give my story a horrible ending….instead of lifting my head up and fighting out of the corner, I decided to take the punches simply believing they are justified…….no one is justified to struggle or go through pain or sorrow…….next time this happens to you, sit back and think wisely how you choose your own adventure…….

Trying to get out of here early…took a thirty minute lunch so I can go home and try to clean my house before I go out tonight…..got to re tape my audition for Oprah Winfrey…..she is holding a contest for someone to have a new show, so why not take the Wise Words of Spaceship to television??.....now once I do get this footage on the website, I am going to need each and everyone of you to vote…now is that hard for you to do?...some of you, yeah…because hating is in your blood…but I know some of you will support me and that’s all I can ask…….I so pray I win…who knows what God has in store for me……..

Well about to try to get out of here, so without further ado…….Rika’s Quote of the Day……….

“If you are stressed, you are probably making things more important than they really are.”

Hmmmmm.....dont know about that……I get stressed and the last time I checked, my stress comes from things that are important…but I guess I understand what she is saying……once we die, we will still have things in our inbox…another blog for another day…………

Shout out to my man TrulySpoken…..yesterday he not only celebrated his birthday, but also his one year anniversary……..so double congrats to you big homie…..love you and I pray God watches over you r family in all your endeavors……..

Speaking of June 3rd…….yesterday marked the 7 year anniversary of my first album, “Landed in the Hen House”……my how time flies………..

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!!

WE DON'T DANCE NO MORE..ALL WE DO IS BLOG!!!

2010-06-03T18:30:00.000-07:00

Its Thursday already!!!....I guess with the holiday, this week is pretty much flying by……and depending on who you ask, I guess that could be a good or bad thing……how are you all doing today?........I feel a lot better than yesterday…drugged myself up last night and ate leftovers…thought I was going to go out, but decided against it…….kind of glad I didn’t…..actually got about 9 hours of sleep last night……..few more days until the weekend so hopefully, I will get a chance to rest and relax………

I’m thinking about taking some more time off from Essential Entertainment…….not completely, but I do need to maintain a healthy focus…does that mean time for a vacation?...probably so…..I’m thinking that will help recharge my batteries…..I’m hoping that if I take a break from my job, it will give me an opportunity to relax……and I know that is much needed……..this month marks the half year and I need to plan out what EE will be doing for the remainder of the year…I have some ideas; just need to get them down on paper and start implementing them……..

I know I told yall this may be my last blog today…..I doubt it though……its one of the most enjoyable parts of my day…especially when I have a lot to talk about……which I don’t today…..not much eventful has happened in the last 24 hours……but in a few minutes something grand will be going on…..THE LAKERS WILL BE DEFENDING THEIR NBA CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST THE BOSTON CELTICS!!!......I’m not going to go in-depth about each position or what it would take for each team to win the series…..but being the Laker fan I am, you know I’m going to say L.A. in six games…..I don’t think Boston’s “Cinderella” run this post season will last….they are older and the grind of the playoffs will get to them…..its funny how people say Kobe is nothing like Jordan….my opinion…he’s better than Jordan……yeah I said it…Michael Jordan isn’t the greatest player of all time to me anyway….maybe one of the greatest scorers….but even Wilt and Kobe has scored more than him in a game…..Magic was way better than Michael….and he played in a tougher league…… Michael didn’t win a championship until Magic, Larry, Dominique, Isaiah, Kareem, and Dr. J was out of the league....think about it………

Going up to Rack Daddy’s tonight in Arlington for their Industry Idol……this will be my first actual week I will be hosting so I am interested in seeing how the crowd is up there….last week I heard they had a nice turn out but the sound system died……so they moved locations…I had the show at Mambo Café so I wasn’t able to make it…..hope they have a free drink special up there……..

Why is it that the song you hate the most stay stuck in your head the longest…ugh!!!.......I heard Waka Flocka whoever he is at lunch and I can’t dispose of that song quick enough……

Why do people text in the middle of the night??.....if it was something important, I wouldn’t get it….and by the time I read it, it would be morning so I wouldn’t care??......

Why have I eaten Little Caesars every Thursday for about 2 months straight?.......is it really that good?.......
I know I’m being random…just some things on my mind……like when people say, “I’m bored as hell”…..from what I read, hell isn’t boring…..you too busy trying to find a spot that doesn’t have fire spewing everywhere…..that should be exciting…musical brimstone….and think of the people that are there…..Jimi Hendrix, Elvis, Gary Coleman (maybe), Michael Jackson (if he like boys forreal), is Jason dead yet?......Wilt Chamberlain, Joaquin Phoenix, and Chris Benoit…….sounds like a party to me……..

Well I am about to get out of here……maybe tomorrow, I will have more for your reading pleasure……..

And here it is……Rika’s Quote of the Day…………….

“It’s a bigger mistake to fear making one than actually making one.”

Always try…there is no harm in giving things your best shot……….

Shout outs to my girl Suello…..she is celebrating her birthday this weekend and it’s a beautiful thing to see someone rejoicing for another year….and my girl Bianca…she is also celebrating her birthday this weekend as well…happy birthday to two very special ladies…..I hope all goes well and you have a great time this weekend……..

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

OOPS! I DID IT AGAIN!!!

2010-06-02T15:02:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well……how are you all doing today?......I think I am coming down with a cold but besides that I am doing rather well……..I hope I come to you all in good spirits…even in this hot weather…man!!....Dallas is a burning up state!!.....haven’t really conversed with you all in a few days…had some adversity…..(as always)…and I’m trying to stay as positive as possible…….(the hardest thing I have ever done)………somehow, someway, I know things will get better for me……rather by hook or by crook……..

Just found out a few minutes ago that we won’t be holding Rolls Royce tonight……yeah I know, bummer!!....I wasn’t there last week so I was truly looking forward to returning…now that I think about it, it has been a few weeks since I have hosted on a Wednesday night…..I wonder if God is trying to tell me something??....its cool though….just gives me another opportunity to clean up more of my house……I know I probably wont do as good of a job as I need to……but it’s a start……I know I need to start getting some extra things out of my crib…….especially stuff I don’t use or don’t need…not saying I’m a hoarder but cleaning things up will allow God to give me more…speaking of…….

Have you ever put gas in a car that was already on a full tank?........how about went all out grocery shopping when your fridge and pantry was already full?.......how about put more bath water in the tub once it was already at a suitable level??.......to answer these, I would say doubt it…now I know there may be a few of you that have deep freezers….or will say you filled up gas cans during Katrina….but think about it….you can only get more in these instances after you let some of it go……I am learning about this in my walk with Christ………

Sometimes we ask ourselves why don’t we have more, or newer or even better…..well we allow ourselves to be tied down with the past….and you have to let that go sometimes…..in order for him to do more, you have to give him room to do more…..if you keep holding on to prior blessings, he has no room to give you new blessings…..now I am not the one that can read you the bible but if I remember correctly, there was a certain part that talked about emptying your vessels….some did….and of course some did not for fear of losing everything……those that were obedient, God blessed them tremendously……more than enough……

Do you ever wonder why bills aren’t paid?......Or why you are not happy with your job?.......relationships never going right even though you “talk” to two or three people at once and cant figure out who is right for you?.....as an entertainer, I wonder about my destiny…..doing the same shows, for the same amount of money…in front of the same people……..do we ever consider that we allow our vessels to stay so full that God is not able to produce more for us?.......I don’t even like buying Jayla toys because she has millions of them already….how would she know if she gained or lost one?.....only so much can go inside a grocery bag until it burst and all the ingredients are everywhere……and that’s what happens to us……we pack and pack and pack………and only when our bag explodes do we finally “decide” to go get new groceries……….

Look at your phone…..how many numbers does it contain that you either a) don’t call or b) have no idea who that person is?......but yet we keep that number….just in case…..just in case of what?.....that we remember them?.......apparently they serve no purpose in our lives……and only when we have to get a new phone do we sometimes lose those numbers…..but because we had so many numbers in our phone that wasn’t needed, we can lose the ones that are important to us…..and getting them back is harder than we think…….

Clean your vessels out every once in a while…we would be surprised how many new things God would give us…..or even how many things that we could use that we never realize we have…….just a thought……….

Sitting at this desk, I’m kinda happy I don’t have a show tonight…….I need to go take some meds…wish I had some soup….but I think I have some Ramen Noodles…..same thing right??.....oh well, it will be tonight…….wrestling doesn’t even come on!!....nor do the Lakers…yeah I said it…..the Lakers…the reigning and defending NBA Champions….and they will be in about three weeks as well…..sorry, but the Celtics don’t stand a chance……………

So I still have a few in the chamber…and I cant go too many days without giving you…….Rika’s Quote of the Day…………….

“Love the heart that hurts you, never hurt the heart that loves you.”

This is a good one…..I have been guilty of this one….there is someone in my life right now that loves me to pieces…and I’m not talking about relationship love…well maybe, but they have my back more than 99% of the people I know…..and yet, I find ways to be cruel or standoffish………and I am so wrong for it…..I need to get out of my own insecurities, because the fact is, people can love you for simply who you are and not want anything from it……the image of society is so corrupt that we think people always want something if they do something………ugh, I don’t like being this way!!!.........

I would also like for you all to do me a favor……..call this number: 254-753-1049……that is the radio station down here in Waco, TX……Essential Entertainment’s own, Derek Daider is getting pushed hard down there…….all you have to do is request his song…so what if you don’t hear it; there is strength in numbers…….what’s the name of the song? Don’t matter!!!......just called and ask if they have that Derek Daider song….honestly, I don’t even know the name of the song…but they know Derek Daider…….lets put one of our own on the map…if you do want to hear his music, go to www.derekdaider.com …………don’t say I didn’t warn you………..

Now tomorrow I am thinking will be my last blog…ever…..why you may ask?....because I feel its time to introduce a few people to you….first will be hustle man…the next will be Countytime……over the next 24 hours, I will be drinking some truth serum….and I will finally put out the blog I have always wanted to……no holding back…no care about feelings…no censorship……..now this is not definite…..I don’t like hurting people feelings…….I just need to get some things off my chest……….

Shout outs to my girl D Ray……I love you soooo much…I know you mad at me….but hell, a lot of people are mad at me………and stay that way…….but you good…I love your heart and when you need me, I will be there…….

Love yall!!!

Church!!!

SOMEBODY'S BEEN EATING MY PORRIDGE!!!

2010-06-01T14:46:00.000-07:00

Dear You:

I have spent a lot of time thinking should I write to you about the feelings I have inside. This letter I am writing is not meant to hurt you. I do know that by the end of your reading, that feeling may become apparent. So I am here to apologize before hand. Over the course of our relationship, I have loved you like no other and you, in return, have given me the strength to push on when I thought all was lost. There have been times when I thought, “why me”? And there you are to comfort me and to ask without saying any words, “why not”? I have never had someone so persistent in winning my heart and capturing my soul like you have. Perfection is a word used too loosely nowadays, but you, define the word perfect to a tee. I am grateful for all you have done and for the things I know you are going to do: that is, if you stay around.

I guess I should get this out of the way and let you know I have been cheating on you. I can’t say that I loved someone as much as I have loved you, but I have taken my focus off my love to you and given my attention to someone else. Do I blame you? In a strange was, yeah. Even though I know I am in control of my actions, it was you that decided when you wanted to be there for me. Sometimes when I tried to talk to you, I never got a response. I felt ignored and unloved. You know how much I long for attention. There would be times you would see me crying and not once did you give me the solace or comfort I desired. I did it out of spite and anger. I chose not to care about the consequences, because to me, I was dead to you. I was an after thought. You had way too many people in your world to care about me. I know my impatience was selfish, and I am learning how to deal with it.

There is an old adage that says “you never miss a good thing until it’s gone” and even though I am capable of handing you this letter, I already feel like you are gone. I feel empty without your presence in my life. The way you joked with me, gave me advice and wisdom. How you looked out for me in trying times. It’s easy to remember these things now, seeing how I was so shallow to forget theses very same things when times got hard. Love is supposed to cover a multitude of things and I feel guilty for not knowing which things it covers. I remember you telling me how cold and callous I was just dropping people from my life. How unremorseful I would act by placing blame for our division. I always promised you that you would not be like the same. I vowed not to treat you like the rest. In the end, I did the very thing I swore not to. I do feel bad about it. And I still think, if you would have just listened to my heart, this could have been avoided. If you would have believed me when I said I needed you, we would still be together. HOW COULD YOU JUST NOT ANSWER MY HEART!!??!!

You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’m dying now. Not in the emotional stage. My life has been shortened by my transgressions. I don’t know how much longer I have to tell you what’s in my heart. That is the point of it all. That is the reason I decided to reach out to you now. I don’t want the extra burden of not letting you know how much I love you. Not how much I loved you but I still love you. Every tear, every drop of sweat, every breath of you body, I crave. I hope that you will find the love that is equivalent to what you give. My soul feels better letting this out, but I know I should have done it earlier. I don’t have a clue where our lines of communication got tangled and I know that we both gave our all at a point. Now it doesn’t matter. Remember me for the good times and for the things I did right. Remember me for the person you saw before all this got crazy. Remember me for the person that treated you like royalty. It may not change the past. It may even confuse the future. But for today, know the truth. I LOVE YOU…………..

SIGNED,

ME

I LOST IN TUG OF WAR TO AN OCTOPUS!!

2010-05-27T18:33:00.000-07:00

Good evening to my friends…how are you all doing today??...I am still on a high from last night!!.......the Essential Entertainment family went down to Waco and made history!!!....wow!!........now I have to get ready to rock Mambo Café tonight….and of course, I cant wait for that either……such a busy week……such a productive week…and we will top it off this Sunday with the Essential Victory concert!!........I hope you all are feeling as good as I am feeling right now…….

Well the backlash continues…..today, my frat brother was relieved of his duties here at work….now the reason behind it is still vague…I have heard two different stories…but my theory is…….its because of “the letter” from last week……now you may ask how does that letter have anything to with this guy getting terminated…..well, hear me out……the manager that was in question, was removed from her position and put in a different department…….no matter if this was the right or wrong thing to do…(believing if it was somebody else, they may have been terminated), there could have possibly been some anger towards the “middling workers”…..vengeance will be somebody’s………letters like that will be used to keep order in a workplace…..so now, if you screw up the least bit, you will be reprimanded….once something of that magnitude is uncovered, everything hits the fan……dotting I’s and crossing T’s if you will…..now is the time where you have to watch everything you do…all they need is a reason……..

I have a car that doesn’t run….2011 Cadillac Convertible……I have four tires but only two on the axle…..my engine is laying in the grass, and my steering wheel wont turn…….I haven’t used my turn signal in ages and the trunk wont open……

I know this old man….he has a 1967 green Chevy Pinto….possibly, the ugliest car I have ever seen…….but under the hood is a beauty……and he keeps up the maintenance……and he has never had any engine failure……and drives wherever he goes…….

IN UNITY THERE IS STRENGTH!!!...........

Sometimes we think because it looks good, it is good…..sometimes we get complacent or expect certain things to “just be”……..we have to understand that no vehicle can run properly without the proper parts and no company can function without that same unity……if we even take a look at the Cleveland Cavaliers this season….yes they had the MVP of the league on their team……but they didn’t have the best team……when you are working with people, you all have to have a common goal….thank goodness cars don’t have egos…imagine the life of new rims……fresh tint, or even a sound system….every time I drove past a beautiful woman, my music would go up, my brakes would stop and my spinners kept spinning, or my engine would idle to show off its horsepower…….yes, God created us with all individual talents…….but sometimes, we have to put away the individual for the collective………

Last night was evidence of this…..everyone that was with us did not perform a song…..but, everyone performed…..we went down to Waco as a unit, carried ourselves as a family, and was received as superstars….if we would have went down their with only our own gains as the intention, it would have showed and we could have possibly wasted a chance of a lifetime……stop thinking about how great YOU are all the time…..start think about how great WE are when dealing with your business partners, in whatever avenue…..IN UNITY, THERE IS STRENGTH………

THIS SUNDAY……THE MOST EXPLOSIVE CONCERT OF THE YEAR!!!.....THE ESSENTIAL VICTORY TOUR HEADLINED BY SPACESHIP OHAYSES AND ONE NIGHT STAND…….ALSO PERFORMING WILL BE SKYRON, MR. PROBLEM, DEREK DAIDER, WYZE, ALSACE, MOMU ENT., AND CHAMP……WE WILL BE ROLLS ROYCE…9220 SKILLMAN STREET IN NORTH DALLAS…DOORS OPEN AT 3PM…….TICKETS ARE $10 IN ADVANCE AND $15 AT THE DOOR……..WE ARE RAISING MONEY FOR A LOCAL CHARITY!!!...DONT MISS OUT!!!!!........

I am so excited!!...the way God has positioned this show and helping everything move forward is so awesome….I was truly nervous about this event, but its amazing how having confidence in Jesus will change everything…….I am not the least bit worried about what is going to happen this Sunday….I know we will have a great turn out and everyone will definitely enjoy themselves….if you are not doing anything, come on out and fellowship…help a family and support the community!!!.......

Well, I think I am about to wrap this up…..so here it is for today my friends……Rika’s Quote of the Day……….

“The best way to guide your own behavior is to make a commitment to always be a good example”

If you are doing right, you shouldn’t have to worry about if you are doing wrong……..

Shout outs to my man Hale…haven’t heard from you in a sec so I just wanted to put that out there…told Castro I expect to see yall this Sunday…….any excuses??.....totally don’t want to hear them…….need you to stay in my ear…God has a purpose for you in my life!!!...........

Love yall!!!

Church!!!!

GET YOUR OWN GPS!!!

2010-05-26T15:39:00.001-07:00

I almost forgot to write today….been tweeting, working, face booking, and everything else today…….how are you all doing?....I am still sleepy….5 in the afternoon and I need a powernap like never before……but of course, I will not be getting one……I hope I come to you all in good spirits………I am doing well……had a weird night…..was going to speak on it but not sure now…….and tonight is another day in the adventures of Spaceship Ohayses…………

Tonight, Essential Entertainment’s own, Derek Daider will be live in concert in Waco…..I cant wait to see him perform in front of his hometown……to make things sweeter, ya boy Spaceship Ohayses will also be getting a piece of the spotlight…..not much though…..its not about me…….the whole camp is car pooling down there and I am really excited about tonight’s event………..one thing I am learning is that there is unity in strength……….

I will be performing at the Mambo Café downtown tomorrow night….ladies free before 11….this is a very nice club and if you want to come and chill and enjoy yourself, this would be the place to be………its on Lamar Street....sorry for not knowing the address off hand…..

And Sunday……THE MOST EXPLOSIVE CONCERT OF THE YEAR!!!.....THE ESSENTIAL VICTORY TOUR HEADLINED BY SPACESHIP OHAYSES AND ONE NIGHT STAND…….ALSO PERFORMING WILL BE SKYRON, MR. PROBLEM, DEREK DAIDER, WYZE, ALSACE, MOMU ENT., AND CHAMP……WE WILL BE ROLLS ROYCE…9220 SKILLMAN STREET IN NORTH DALLAS…DOORS OPEN AT 3PM…….TICKETS ARE $10 IN ADVANCE AND $15 AT THE DOOR……..WE ARE RAISING MONEY FOR A LOCAL CHARITY!!!...DONT MISS OUT!!!!!........

Not really going to touch on much today…….time is not on my side and I have to make sure I am out of here on time…..but I do want to touch on a something…….I was talking to one of the members of Essential Entertainment and we are trying to get on the same page as far as our vision…..I told them, in order to be a great leader, you have to be a great follower…and I don’t mean on twitter……so many times…myself included, we want to be the top dog….the head honcho…..the BMOC……it doesn’t work like that……when I placed myself on a pedestal, God quickly removed me…….and when you are removed quickly, it hurts a lot more……..I have to continue to allow myself to learn and take a back seat when needed……even last night…I wanted so bad to grab the mic and work the crowd to my liking……but what I did was pay attention….I listened to other MCs on the mic while they were getting the crowd hype…..some of the things he was saying, the mannerism, the songs……that’s not me….but if I want to be the best……..I have to know how to keep a crowd hype…not just the people in the crowd that get me and my style…but everyone…….so I sat back and chilled…and when I was able to get on the mic, I practiced…….I made sure I covered my bases on the things I was learning……and no one knew I was sharpening my skills….

Well, ima cut yall a break today…pray for our safety on this trip……I hope to see you all sometime this week.....a few of you, I expect to see….and more than likely, I will call you out BY NAME on this blog…….so you may want to confirm with me before then………

And here it is……….Rika’s Quote of the Day……………

“You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.”

Shout outs to my girl Rika…she is going on to greener pastures at her workplace and I pray that God guides you and leads you in the right direction……..as long as you have email at your new gig, I’m good!!!..........

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR WITH NO FACE

2010-05-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

Wow!!.......it’s crazy how we can feel ourselves getting in a rut….and its easier to not realize when we are out of it…….its all a matter of perception…….how are you all doing this hot afternoon??......well its hot here in Dallas…the locals would call it “normal”……..I am feeling so good right now…..alot of beautiful things are happening in my life insofar as Essential Entertainment is concerned……the team is looking strong……everyone is getting on the same accord……and I am truly seeing the growth in each and everyone of us…..including myself……God has righted my disposition and shown me the errors of my ways……..now, I am prepared to take on the objectives he has set forth for me…not saying I wasn’t before……but I have had a work out……and I have been lifting mental weights…….

Can you say you don’t believe in something even if its contents have some truth??.......a few weeks ago I did one of those “what does your name say about you” quizzes on face book…….I cant remember everything it said about me, but there was two things that really struck a nerve…….it said that I am lazy……and it said that I like to avoid conflict……meaning if there is something I need to do, I will bypass it or ignore it instead of addressing it………and I agree…….I have found myself getting way too lazy……..my mental says the work isn’t hard…..whether it be cleaning my crib, cooking, handling EE business, or coming to work……but my body says rest, lay down and procrastinate…..find something else to occupy my time……..now when I get home, I try to force myself to handle business….instead of being on said face book or playing poker, I could be downloading pictures….adding to the websites…….networking with people……..its a bad habit that I have…always been used to working under pressure…..even in college, I didn’t write a report until the night before; two nights at the earliest……and it has made me complacent…..those words that I read forced me to create a wedge between what I read and what is the truth…..I don’t want to be known, even in my mind, as a man with great talents but a horrible work ethic………

And then the avoiding conflict statement…….very, very true……no matter how mean some people think I am….I don’t like to be a mean person…….sometimes it is hard for me to make tough decisions…….and I never want to burn a bridge…….I think I over think situations at times…….wondering how I will be perceived…..I remember even when I was married, I allowed my wife to leave….I knew our tenure was ending……I knew we didn’t have a relationship…instead of being vocal, I waited….and when she finally did leave, I was relieved………and I could say it wasn’t my fault……or I could say she was the one that left…..it was easier for me to point her as the cause of our divorce…….knowing that we both hurt our marriage, she was the one that left……..its my defense mechanism…….all my life, I have been used to people leaving me…being fed up with me not assimilating to their wants and needs….and when they get tired of it, they go……even associates….they would use me for what they could…..money, popularity, attention, a hang out spot, rides…….and when they didn’t need me anymore, they go…….so I have always figured, if I hang in there long enough, the next person will go…….now that I think about it, I do that a lot………smdh…….

FIVE MORE DAYS UNTIL THE MOST EXPLOSIVE CONCERT OF THE YEAR!!!.....THE ESSENTIAL VICTORY TOUR HEADLINED BY SPACESHIP OHAYSES AND ONE NIGHT STAND…….ALSO PERFORMING WILL BE SKYRON, MR. PROBLEM, DEREK DAIDER, WYZE, ALSACE, MOMU ENT., AND CHAMP……WE WILL BE ROLLS ROYCE…9220 SKILLMAN STREET IN NORTH DALLAS…DOORS OPEN AT 3PM…….TICKETS ARE $10 IN ADVANCE AND $15 AT THE DOOR……..WE ARE RAISING MONEY FOR A LOCAL CHARITY!!!...DONT MISS OUT!!!!!........

Some of you may know, I am always concerned about the turn out of any function I have……I am a very competitive person….at my job, I figure most of the people up here don’t support me…..yeah, a lot of them say what they are going to do…..when it comes down to it, they typically have a reason why they didn’t show up…and truth is, it gets me down at times…..until now……LET GO AND LET GOD!!.......I am believing that if he wants this program to run as awesome as I believe it will, that is one less worry I have on my shoulders…..its still crazy to me how people doubt your dream……actually, its not…….and I will no longer have a pity party up here when I get asked how my functions went….Dallas is a huge city and I know that more than enough people will come out and support the show….and we can all be believers in unison once you see the concrete evidence of God’s greatness towards me!!...........

I’m about to leave but I have something very important to say to women…….ladies, if you are calling a guy…and he never has time for you until one day…..then you guys go on a date, “get together”, or even converse on the phone for a long time……don’t get mad when you don’t hear from him the next day…..he was busy before yall kicked it and I guarantee he is going to be busy after that kick it moment………its amazing how women think one day of pleasure is going to make a man sit down and spend his free time with you…..so please, don’t ask me why he hasn’t called you…….he’s probably doing what he is always doing!!..........

And now ladies and gentlemen………Rika’s Quote of the Day……………

“Instead of overreacting, try under reacting because this response shows wisdom, patience, and peace.”

Shout outs to my girl Donna…….I promise I will do better and stay in contact with you……..you are so awesome to always check up on me……I better see you this weekend!!!

Love yall!!!

Church!!!!

MY LIFE, YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!!!

2010-05-24T15:52:00.000-07:00

SIX MORE DAYS UNTIL THE MOST EXPLOSIVE CONCERT OF THE YEAR!!!.....THE ESSENTIAL VICTORY TOUR HEADLINED BY SPACESHIP OHAYSES AND ONE NIGHT STAND…….WE WILL BE ROLLS ROYCE…9220 SKILLMAN STREET IN NORTH DALLAS…DOORS OPEN AT 3PM…….TICKETS ARE $10 IN ADVANCE AND $15 AT THE DOOR……..WE ARE RAISING MONEY FOR A LOCAL CHARITY!!!...DONT MISS OUT!!!!!........

U know I had to throw that out there…….seems like I have a lot on my plate again…..this time around, I’m going to let other people eat as well though……how are you all doing today?...I pray you had a great weekend…I know I sure did!!.....but I did learn that me…and heat…are not a perfect combination……I know for sure I have to repent for my sins…because if its this hot in hell, I don’t wanna go…….and they said its dark down there too….hot and dark?....nah, I’m good……matter of fact…how is it dark if there is fire all around?............just a question……….

I had band practice this weekend……you talking about fun??!!!.......it was the best exercise I have ever had………I wish I could have stayed longer……I mean, I would still be practicing if it was up to me….well, at least when we were in the house on Saturday…..on Sunday, we practiced on top of an apartment complex…..that was so awesome….folks so nosey, they couldn’t help but see what all the noise was…and there goes a crowd….so you know I had to get down…..then I realized that we were closer than I usually am…….not a great feeling…..going 110% in 90 degree weather may not be the best idea…for future references………if you get a chance, check out practice on you tube: www.youtube.com/spaceshipohayses

The other day I was talking to this young lady and she was attempting to charge me up for knowing so many females…….I thought about it for a second and realized she missed one important fact…..I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE PERIOD…….after much consideration….(I really didn’t think about it that much, it just sounds better)……….I came to the grips that I know somebody in almost every state……..is that a bad thing?......I don’t think so…you never know when and where you may get a layover….and you never know where God will take you……the thing is……women talk more than men……..and I am somewhat of an advice column whether I want to come to grips of if or not…….I’m like a talk show via blog…..and I don’t have many guests…besides me…and people I choose to write about………last week, I put on my facebook a topic about women going through their man’s phone……now the women….they made sure they responded on my page…the guys…..they sent a message to my inbox………half of them probably realized they didn’t want to jump in that discussion with a bunch of rowdy woman….don’t blame them one bit……I didn’t agree either….I just posted it……

Why is it that women always want to know the why??.........that’s not a question I am good with myself…….I do a lot of things…….some just at the spur of my brain……and I honestly don’t think about it…..if I don’t want to talk to you, do I have to have a viable reason?.........wanting to know the why hurts a lot……if my girl cheats on me, it is what it is…….even at work…we see stats on the last day of the month….then two weeks letter we get the “final stats” for the month…..alot of times, they aren’t the same…and some people wanna know they why……and guess what?...most officers up here don’t have the answer…and they give us the run around…and people get frustrated because they know we are being lied to…….but a person saying “I don’t know” usually doesn’t suffice…..so we complain….we moan….and we get aggravated………all because we wanted to know the why………

So I have been writing this blog for over a year now….and you know the one thing that amazes me?.......how people say they don’t know what’s going on in my world until I write something about them…..then, out of the blue, I’m getting text messages…..emails….phone calls….remarks on facebook…..and even people that are not subscribers know what’s going on………to you people….I want to thank you today…….no, I may not know all of you out there that is doing this, but I have to say…….its better to be talked about than not…..and I know when I do see you, you will respond the same way you always have been….very fake……now you ask yourself, “Spaceship, are you venting or taking shots?”…….no……I had a small talk with someone that is a subscriber last night and it really put things into perspective……..when you treat people as important…..meaning friends, relationships, boos, and things of that sort……they will make you feel important……sometimes by simply letting me know the bought a song or ring tone…….or acknowledging they read the blog…….but when they feel less than…..they will attempt to ignore you and your purpose…..but the truth is, they can’t……because they are now a part of it……whether they want to admit it or not, they will continue to keep up with me….juuuusst in case, I happen to make it big…….they can come back into the fold as if they were supporting me the whole time…….I got it now though…its all good…..I already know who they are…….my remember is not all the way gone………TRUTH………..

Trying to figure out what I am going to eat tonight……….I made some awesome hamburgers yesterday, but I’m tired of ground beef……spaghetti, tacos, meatloaf, sloppy Joes, hamburgers………I think ima cook a duck and some dressing tonight, watch wrestling and then head to my homeboy’s album release party……..yeah…..that’s what ima do………or either some oxtails and cabbage………

Well I am about to tuck my tail up out of here…….and for those that get it…….here is Rika’s Quote of the Day………………………..

“Today picture yourself as the happiest person that you know and watch how contagious this enthusiasm for life is.”

I am learning that…….I used to have an infectious attitude towards life…….always happy……so jubilant that people thought I was high…..(well I could have been)…….when things starting hitting the decline, I saw my attitude changing and the people around me……I feel bad for it…..and now….with prayer three times a day…..I see myself in better spirits…..its a mind state…..how you feel inside will reflect how you look on the outside…….you cant love thy neighbor if you don’t love thyself!!!!........

Shouts out to my man Drama tha King……..check out his new mix tape and everything he is working on…….sorry I had to leave early bro……my face was hurting………

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!!

MENTALLY HANDICAPPED..AND STILL GOT A TICKET!!

2010-05-21T15:05:00.001-07:00

I’m thinking I should write a little earlier on Fridays……people are not going to stick around the j.o to wait on my writings…and being perfectly honest, I wouldn’t either……..how are you all doing today?........I am incredibly sleepy right now….and I went to bed around twelve……after I got home from ft worth………but I think I know what happened…around 3, I woke up with a migraine……head was pounding….and I couldn’t truly go back to sleep to get that dynamic rest…….got to work and took a BC so I am feeling better in that regard………and then when I did get up this morning, by looking at the sky, I was sure it was going to rain……to my surprise, it ended up being 1000 degrees today…….and heat drains me too……..

I want to thank you all for the great feedback on the blog……sometimes, I do wonder as to whom is reading….who is digesting……and who really cares…..I think that is one of the downfalls of being an entertainer……and lately, I have been getting a lot of emails thanking me for the words I type…..I want to say now, don’t thank me……I am only a vessel used by God to say things that we already know…..its not just me and the things I go through……we all have this book called life and it takes some chapters to get through the end…….even in kid books, a conflict arises…..all I try to do is give some insight on what I do to get over the hump….sometimes good, sometimes bad…….sometimes, I allow things to get worse than what it is……but through it all, I still have joy!!...and of course you guys……..going back and reading some of these blogs show me a great journey…….and it does encourage me to continue pushing forward…….

After reading ole girl’s resignation letter yesterday, I definitely am more conscience of spell check….but to those that laughed at her…..spell check doesn’t help if you spell the wrong word right!!!........

Most people have vehicles…..most people know that there are places where they can’t park…there are signs that show us where we can or can not place our car…if we do, there are consequences…….sometimes, we receive a parking citation….sometimes we can get towed…..and even in rare instances, we can get our vehicles broken into…wrong time, wrong place….

I guess what I am trying to say is……DON’T PARK THERE!!!.....in our lives, we sometimes park our souls in places where we have no business…whether it’s a relationship, friends, jobs, or our environment……and then we wonder why things are not going the way they should…we wonder why our hearts are being towed and stored for us to redeem….because we lost it……we were in such a haste to do what WE need/want to do, we failed to think about the ramifications of our actions……in life, we all have a role to play…and when we fail to stay within that order and go against the parameters given to us, discourse is soon to follow……we then have a tendency to blame everyone else for our ill advised fate…when the finger of our own hands should make a direct U-turn………

And even when we do park, we need to be cognizant that eventually, we have to move……if your car stays parked too long, there is a possibility your vehicle can be….broken into, vandalized, stolen, a letter taped to it, towed, and even your gas can disappear…….we cant allow ourselves to stay in the same place too long…we must forever continue driving towards success and making every possible effort to keep our vehicle from being harmed……..

Its not a tough task…we must realize that every action has a reaction….every cause has an effect…….and every course has a destination……..sometimes, we do the things we do simply because of laziness….we don’t try to compromise or become better due to habit……we are selfish, spoiled, and angry creatures…..after all, we are animals…..but we all have brains….which gives us the opportunities to make wise decisions……if you are trying to get somewhere….if you are looking to journey to a place you have never been before…..or if you are simply attempting to get back to where you once were….DONT PARK THERE!!!........

SUNDAY, MAY 30TH, ESSENTIAL ENTERTAINEMTN WILL BE HAVING ITS FIRST “ESSENTIAL VICTORY CONCERT” AT ROLLS ROYCE…START TIME IS 3PM……YES 3 IN THE AFTERNOON….TICKETS ARE $10 IN ADVANCE AND $15 AT THE DOOR….PERFORMING LIVE WILL BE SPACESHIP OHAYSES, ALSACE, WYZE, DEREK DAIDER, MOMU ENT., CHAMP, MR PROBLEM, SKYRON, AND ONE NIGHT STAND…….PROCEEDS WILL BE GOING TO A LOCAL CHARITY…..I DO ASK THAT YOU ALL CONTRIBUTE AND COME OUT TO THIS EVENT…….

All jokes aside, I really want to see you all there….even the people that don’t necessarily like me (I’m talking to you)……and the ones that only read the blogs when they pertain to them (yep, you too)……even if you cant make it, tell someone…you never know how this may affect you or your loved ones in the future………I am very excited about this event…..if you do need a ride, let me know….I will suggest that you ask some of your friends that do have a car to come with you and bring you…………

Fyi: in my opinion, there is not anything better than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on wheat bread….with a cold cup of milk!!.......I’m just saying!!!.......

Okay, think I am almost done for the day…….so here we go!!!!........Rika’s Quote of the Day……….

“Grow and learn from every situation no matter how insignificant because to stand still is really going backwards.”

Shout out to my man Vincent Tucker…..I got you fam!!...let me know when you want me to come up to the station and we can make this happen….I appreciate you checking in on me every once in a while…hope to see you at the concert next Sunday!!!..........

Love yall!!!!!

Church!!!!!!

SOMETIMES ITS NOT EVEN GRASS; MORE LIKE ARTIFICIAL TURF!!

2010-05-20T17:55:00.000-07:00

Good evening beautiful people!!...I hope you are all doing good today…I am feeling grand…..still a little sore from yesterday, but I will be alright……I thought I was going to have to bash someone in this blog today….due to what I feel was a vey immature act….but knowing a little more about the situation, I will give my insight into the events that happened and hopefully, make since of this crazy world………

Now around 3 this afternoon, I notice one of my co-workers walking to the exit with three bags in her hand…..now I didn’t think anything of it…up here you can get Avon, Mary Kay, snacks for kids, or some people just realize they have too much stuff at their desk……I did sing “Bag Lady” in my head……but like I said, I didn’t think much in the way of drama……well nine minutes later, I received an email entitled, “FAREWELL”…….well, it was her resignation letter……and she sent it to the WHOLE COMPANY….Vice President included…….I couldn’t believe it….the hood in me has always heard about this happening and was cracking up on the inside thinking this woman had the gall to do such a stunt……at the bottom of the letter, she even had the audacity to put other places that were currently hiring……it was the talk of the building today…..I also found out that sent another email to her manager and other managers in her department detailing why she decided to make the choices she did…….to me, it was a big mistake……how dare she?....she must not be considering that if another job calls here for verification that they will tell what happened……

I also found out that what she was saying is true…and this is the problem with corporate America…..upper management never listened to her……other people on her team has quit for the same reasons as this young lady and nothing has been done to alleviate this cycle…..is it because they know how disposable we all truly are?.......does upper management really not care about its employees?.......its a very difficult thing to work for someone that will not listen to your problems……we all try to be content at our jobs……but reality is, if you are not the pimp, you are the hoe…….now, this young lady did not have the best “numbers” in the company, but a lot of people don’t have the best stats…….and there may be a reason why….one quote I have heard a lot lately is “where there is smoke, there is usually fire”………maybe her complaints are valid, and they pushed her over the brink……..in corporate world, we rarely have anyone truly to talk to about our issues…..yes, there is this thing called HR…..but seriously folks, whose side are they on?.........I know I have been to HR before and nothing was done…….and now, the fell off the cliff……..I hope she already has another start date somewhere else……..

SUNDAY, MAY 30TH, ESSENTIAL ENTERTAINEMTN WILL BE HAVING ITS FIRST “ESSENTIAL VICTORY CONCERT” AT ROLLS ROYCE…START TIME IS 3PM……YES 3 IN THE AFTERNOON….TICKETS ARE $10 IN ADVANCE AND $15 AT THE DOOR….PERFORMING LIVE WILL BE SPACESHIP OHAYSES, ALSACE, WYZE, DEREK DAIDER, MOMU ENT., CHAMP, MR PROBLEM, SKYRON, AND ONE NIGHT STAND…….PROCEEDS WILL BE GOING TO A LOCAL CHARITY…..I DO ASK THAT YOU ALL CONTRIBUTE AND COME OUT TO THIS EVENT…….

A lot of good things are happening for Essential Entertainment right now……next week is a full schedule of events for the team and I am really excited….I need to start stock piling sleep now….I actually went to bed right after the LAKERS won last night!!.......it felt weird but I had absolutely nothing to do……I did cook one of the best hamburgers of all time!!...two patties, grilled onions bacon, and A1 Sauce…yummy to my tummy!!...oh, my bad, tangent………next week, I need you all to com out and support…make sure you come out to the Mambo Café next Thursday as Spaceship Ohayses will be live in concert…also, the Essential Victory Concert will be held as stated above…….I am asking you guys to come check ya boy out!!...........

Had a talk with a good friend today….and we were discussing the difference between friends and those that say they are your friends…….and its big…….some people are there in your life masquerading as if they are there for you…….some people wish for your failure quicker than they wish for you to succeed…….I never want to be rude to people but its hard for me to detect at times….I am getting better at recognizing it……..and its allowing me to move past bs and focus more on what I need to accomplish as a CEO of a Fortune 500 company……..real friends support you…….clingers abandon you at the most opportune time for them…..life lessons………

Well its almost closing time here folks……I do want you to pray for my homegirl Destiny……she was in a car accident and I just ask that you give her strength during this time…btw, where the heck is Ms. Evans?????...I am so missing you??.......call me and let me know you are okay!!!...........

‘nother tangent…my bad…..here it is folks…….Rika’s Quote of the Day………..

“It’s very possible that our problems may not be as big as they seem and could sometimes actually be a blessing.”

That is very true….I am so learning that…………

Shout outs to my girl Ms. Williams……yes you……wow…I guess life does come full circle…….I appreciate you more than you may know…….you are pretty awesome!!...AND I KNEW YOU DIDN’T LIKE RED TOE NAIL POLISH!!!!!......

Love yall!!!!

Church!!!!

LOST MY MIND; WASNT ATTACHED WELL!!!

2010-05-19T16:12:00.000-07:00

Jesus, KEEP ME NEAR THE CROSS!!!!!......how are you all doing today?...what a day……..craziness……tried to do things for the better good of Essential Entertainment and what happens….end up missing a nice chunk of work……but its all good…really, it is…….its crazy how God makes things happen and after its all said and done, the purpose is very evident…….

WE DID CANCEL DJ LADY JA-ROQ’S OPEN MIC SHOWCASE TONIGHT!!.......DONT FRET MY PETS, WE WILL BE BACK BETTER THAN EVER!!!!.........

Kinda upset about it……but sometimes you have to reasonable about priorities and making sure you keep good business values…….

So as I was saying earlier, I had a blow out today…and at the end of it all, I don’t think it was meant for my blessing……..I have a homegirl that is on her way to New York this weekend to participate in Freestyle Friday……..I know her through the music scene…..we just started conversing more as she is trying to get back out in the streets and get her music to the masses……well when I had the blowout…I tried to get roadside assistance to help me…..they didn’t………I called a friend to help, but he had to take his kids to school and couldn’t stay long……and all the tire and auto shops around were “no speaka englass”………I was frustrated…….here I am in oak cliff, by myself, and I don’t know a soul around……….I decided to give her a call……..she was actually upset that I had not called her sooner……immediately she came to my rescue……...

(isn’t God good?......someone I rarely talk to was willing to help me out in a time of need……and my prideful butt wasn’t even going to call)………….

While I was taking off my destroyed tired and fixing up my truck, we talked about things she had to do and things she has going….she re-iterated how important this trip was for her and how the devil and bestowed frustrations upon her……..I would say she was with me for about an hour and a half……she thought she was going to be gone by this time…not from around me, but on her way to NY………well, needless to say, by the time we did separate from each other, God had did some things in her life that she really needed………just by being in the same place I was, she was able to converse with some people and get some personal things for her family completed……she was overjoyed…….I was happy for her…in spite of what I was going through, somebody was able to get a blessing out of it……..isn’t life weird??...........

I tell people all the time….even when I am going through…..God cant bless me if I cant be a blessing to others…..and she was……..I probably could have called some other people…..not many of them would have came……not many would have had the ability to come assist me…..but yet, she was…….and was willing to get me back to my destination…..and for that, God instantly blessed her…oh it was a beautiful site…….I remember being in church a while ago and a pastor told me we should celebrate someone else’s blessings….they are very informative……they show and prove to us that Jesus still lives….if no one received blessings, we should start worrying…..but what do we do??...we get mad…..or at least we get jealous…..why she get a raise?...why is his music on the radio?......why does he have to be the host?........why she always got a man….nag. nag, nag……….our words keep us blinded from the goodness of God…….we speak hateful things…..think them more often than that…and at no point of time wonder why we are not being pleases by the riches and glory of God……the power of the tongue my friends………..

DON’T FORGET ABOUT MAY 30TH……..ITS THE ESSENTIAL VICOTRY CONCERT HELD AT ROLLS ROYCE……DOORS OPEN AT 3PM……TICKETS ARE $10 IN ADVANCE, $15 AT THE DOOR……..LIVE IN CONCERT WILL BE SPACESHIP OHAYSES, DEREK DAIDER, WYZE, ALSACE (my back babe!!)……..MOMU ENTERTAINMENT, CHAMP, AND ONE NIGHT STAND…….THIS WILL BE A GALA EVENT…PROCEEDS WILL BE DONATED TO A LOCAL CHARITY……….

So now I am here at work alone……yes I am still here….gotta make up some time……and I love it when I am by myself…..peaceful…I can get work done…..or I can get EE work done……..I still need to get my business management game up…I have that shortcoming and I pray that God delivers me from this personal burden………it seems like I do more work for the company here than I do once I get home……but tonight, with no show, no wrestling, and no desire to cook anything, I pray that I remember everything I need to get done….so if you do need to discuss business with me, tonight may be that night……at least for a little while…..I may try to go to sleep early….I was in that heat changing a tire…….and would that compromise my lesson from yesterday??.......knowing that I know I have work to be done?......woe is me!!!!!!........

Well let me let yall get to ya business…..here it is folks…….Rika’s Quote of the Day………

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did”

Let me digest that and get back to yall on that one………….

Shout outs to my girl Ms Burrell……..haven’t spoke to you in a while and it felt good chopping it up with ya....dont be a stranger…you say you still read the blogs, let me know every once in a while…….feedback is encouraged………..

Love yall!!!!!!

Church!!!!

I NEED A CTRL, ALT. DELETE BUTTON!!!!!

2010-05-18T15:27:00.000-07:00

This is the day that the Lord has made…I will rejoice and be glad in it!!!!......howdy folks…..I pray that you all are doing well this afternoon….OMG, it is so hot here in Dallas……90 in May….are you serious??!....so, so serious…….but I am doing pretty good……just got out of a meeting that I think will be very beneficial to my success hear at work…….and I am usually the type that don’t care for meetings……especially up here…..but it was worth it…….in my opinion…..so I will take the information I received and run with it…….

Got a few things to discuss……not many…so don’t fret……I wont take up too much of your time today…..I don’t think……

DON’T FORGET!!!.....TOMORROW IS DJ LADY JA-ROQ’S OPEN MIC SHOWCASE AT ROOLS ROYCE…WE WILL BE ANNOUNCING ANOTHER $250 FINALIST!!....DOORS OPEN AT NINE….SHOW STARTS AT TEN…….AND IT WILL BE GOING DOWN FOLKS……$5 ENTRY IF YOU ARE OVER 21…….ONLY THE BEST OF THE BEST PERFORMING………9220 SKILLMAN STREET…….NORTH DALLAS…..

So as I was walking to my car this morning, I saw 2 men picking up concrete…..one of them was in a truck…the other was directing……well, the one driving the vehicle, you could tell he knew what he was doing……almost cocky in his work…….going back and forth, moving the concrete and doing his job with such regularity, he probably could have done it blindfolded…..but then, the other guy directing tried to get his attention…….but he chose not to pay attention…..warning after warning came and then without another opportunity to stop his tracks, he fell and got stuck in a ditch……..his crane couldn’t move…..he couldn’t lift that crane out of that hole…..no matter how hard he tried……eventually, the person that was directing him, assisted him in getting the crane out of the ditch and back to working again……..and I bet he started to listen then……

I realized this is our life…….sometimes, I……and I will use myself due to the things I go through……we have a tendency to think life is a cake walk……we get so comfortable with the usual, we don’t take the time to listen to someone who is trying to make sure we are going in the correct path…..and God is our director…….he tries to give us direction to live our lives in harmony….but of course, we don’t listen…we think we know the answers……heck, I’ve been me for thirty years……you cant tell me anything I already don’t know…….and then what happens……BOOM!!!......I fall straight in a ditch….once again, not listening or asking for help, I think I can get myself out the ditch myself……I pull, tug, squirm, and anything else I can think of to get out that darn hole……but I cant……and in the meanwhile, I am not doing anything but becoming more tired……can’t forget I still have work to be done AFTER I get out of this predicament……so then, with all the pride and ego inside of me, I finally ask for help……..and God looks….he laughs….(yes I believe he has a sense of humor)…….and he helps…….when I could have paid attention in the first place……..now, as weary as I am, I have to continue working and get the job that he has asked of me in the first place, finished…..wow life has so many lessons……..

SUNDAY, MAY 30TH, ESSENTIAL ENTERTAINEMTN WILL BE HAVING ITS FIRST “ESSENTIAL VICTORY CONCERT” AT ROLLS ROLLS…START TIME IS 3PM……YES 3 IN THE AFTERNOON….TICKETS ARE $10 IN ADVANCE AND $15 AT THE DOOR….PERFORMING LIVE WILL BE SPACESHIP OHAYSES, WYZE, DEREK DAIDER, MOMU ENT., CHAMP, MR PROBLEM, SKYRON, AND ONE NIGHT STAND…….PROCEEDS WILL EB GOING TO A LOCAL CHARITY…..I DO ASK THAT YOU ALL CONTRIBUTE AND COME OUT TO THIS EVENT…….

Now I do wonder this…except for my haters…..why not come support??.....we can go to a club where nothing will be gained, but in the instance where it will be beneficial to the youth and our community, we don’t come out……its amazing how nothing matters until it pertains to us….no struggles, sorrows, and tribulations are important until we are the ones needing assistance…..come on out and support this excellent event…….

Told you I wouldn’t be long today…like a pastor trying to see the football game…….but before I leave……..here is…….Rika’s Quote of the Day………….

“When you feel the need to tell someone how bad your day has been, tell them how good it’s been instead.”

I challenge you all to speak more positive things in your life…let’s not be defeated before we try it…I hear way too much drama in this world….lets compliment folks…….and God’s blessings will shine on you always…….

Shout out to my homie Veronica……we have the same birthday and act so much alike…but in the end, she is like a big sister…or a older sister that was big until she got the surgery……thank you for your words and being there when I need you…even when you think I am not being serious……….

Love yall!!!

Church!!!!!!!

HITCHIKING WITH NO THUMBS

2010-05-17T14:38:00.000-07:00

How are you doing today?....I am feeling good…..well, I am getting there…working on a master plan to get my finances in order…I sure hopes it work……the thing is, its something I really didn’t want to do…but its looking like a necessity…….I pray you guys had an awesome weekend and enjoyed yourselves in this crazy weather down here…mine was cool……still a lot of things I need to get done…..

Such as cleaning my house…now I did finally fold the clothes I washed……last Monday….I know…..lazy is me…..I promise when I get home today, I am going to focus on cleaning that junk basket……and that’s all it is…..junky……its funny because I was sitting at home yesterday saying to myself how bored I was…..but I looked around and saw how much my crib needed attention…….so that’s when I decided to start cleaning up….and as soon as I did…Jayla woke up…….so I couldn’t do as much as I had finally planned on doing…….I have to do better!!!.........

DON’T FORGET TO COME OUT THIS WEDNESDAY FOR DJ LADY JA-ROQ’S OPEN MIC SHOWCASE!!...AT ROLLS ROYCE…..9220 SKILLMAN STREET IN NORTH DALLAS……WE ARE STILL IN THE RACE FOR $250!!!.......FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE……BRING YOUR “A” GAME!!!!!..........

So last week we are up there and are outside chilling before the show and we see a police car……..did I tell yall about this?.......next thing you know, we saw another…..and another…and another……and then about 30 more….I was like WTF??!!!...major Set it Off moment……you know, when Cleo was getting that issue at the end…that’s what it felt like…..no one could have been able to escape that…..not even Jesus……and the worst part about it…somebody outside was like, “Man! I bet I could rob guitar center right now and not get caught!”……..damn shame I tell you………

Just when I thought it was safe to come back, I may have to put a hold on the blogs again……I may not since I write most of them at work…….but I still have some issues to take care of…….just when I thought it was safe, the devil attacked me again this weekend…..and he hit me very hard………and I was almost in a very weak state……but this is why I love Stephanie……I may not like her at times but she tells me what’s real…….its crazy how we can give good advice but are so horrible at taking it…….we…and I do include myself…….never like hearing the words we give to others about how God can change situations very quickly……

I wonder what he feels about that….I mean, I try my best to be positive for other people….and at my most critical time, I find myself with the urge to give up…….sad….depressed…and not knowing where my source of life comes from…..yes, I know all the answers…..and I know how great he is…….I hope he is not mad at me for frontin’…….and when it boils down to it, that’s what I am doing……frontin’ like I trust him………..so not good….I need to trust him regardless…….without having to see his plans before he does them……..

Speaking on trust…I was talking to this young lady the other day and she was telling me how she likes to go through her man’s phone……..even if he is not her man yet……I asked why…she said because she can and she is just like that……for me, I don’t think I could date a woman like that….off the bat, you are telling me you don’t trust me…..but you wanna make this work?......I don’t get how that works……..I wrote about this on my facebook the other day and tried my hardest not to respond……of course, I couldn’t help it though…….I know some females that have been in my phone and they wonder why they would never have a chance at being with me……..that is so irritating…..men don’t care about things like that…..we don’t need to see the hurt to be hurt….unlike women……yeah, I said it……..even if you do have that inclination, you want the other person to just tell you, or you are gonna look until you find something……and may even lie about looking………now that’s funny……I had someone look through my computer once…and lie about it……..but its all good…….how can u trust someone like that??........im just saying…….two wrongs don’t make a right….but it will get you left!!!!.....ha ha!!!..........

Well, I need to leave early today…….I have to run some errands to get myself out of this conundrum I am in…..please continue to pray for me…..and for you haters…..you can pray for my death…..its cool…..im used to it………..

And here is……….Rika’s Quote of the Day……………………………

“If you are waiting to be happy, you never will be”

I am learning that one……..I was once told, when you die, you will still have things in your inbox……and in the meantime, I will continue to be happy and love the life God has given me……….

Shout outs to my Essential Entertainment family……I hope yall read the email I sent yesterday….the takeover is here…….I love each and everyone of you guys and I thank God you are apart of this movement….PUT YA PINIKYS UP!!!...........

Love yall!!!

Church!!!!

TAKE UR INBOX OUTSIDE AND DELETE IT!!!

2010-05-14T15:25:00.000-07:00

It’s Friday!!!...and raining like a mother!!!....how are you all doing today?.....I’m feeling pretty good……ready to get off work….got a lot of running around to do tonight but don’t know if I want to due to this rain…….I have been sleepy all day……came to work and hardly did that…….but I didn’t slack all day……I hope you all are doing well and if you are in the Dallas area and you are going out tonight, please be safe……I don’t want to hear that somebody I know was hurt for being careless….no club or party is worth it…….and I will do the same……

Wow, the cavaliers lost last night……in a crazy way, that’s what keeps me going in the music industry…..you never know who is going to win…a lot of times I get frustrated because the game down here….its not about what you know……its about who you know…and I know a lot of the opportunities are going to friends and people they know and have heard about….but eventually, my time will be coming up…its all about holding fort…most people thought the Celtics didn’t have a chance…they were too old……injured….and didn’t have a player to match the skill set of LeBron James…….and what happened??.....besides on game in their series, Cleveland got out played, out worked and out hustled…….and that’s what I have to do…..work harder, be smarter, and do things with my TEAM that no individual can stop…….

I truly dislike my new phone…I thought getting one of these Android phones would make a lot of business easier……jokes on me…this thing freezes up, doesn’t delete my text, doesn’t get all the text in, and the screen is way too sensitive for my fat butt…….its crazy how when I had my cheap phone, it may have not worked well, but that’s what I expected….now, with this “upgrade”, I thought my phone problems would be solved…..nope…..seems like its getting worse….I guess I shouldn’t depend on a robot…….

And what’s up with people that always think you are talking about them??.......can a person really be that paranoid?.....I’m at work and there is this woman that sits by me….first, she is an ear hustler…don’t even be talking about her…then when we are discussing something and the conversation gets animated, when tries to join in……after her attempts fail, now she gets mad and think we wont let her be apart of the conversation because we must be talking about her…no sweetie….what we are talking about is not your business……even in my blogs or on my facebook, you would be surprised at how many people respond only when I am making comments about them……am I taking shots??....or is that guilt??.......inquiring minds want to know………

I miss Saturday morning cartoons…..I don’t even know if they have any on but I know they aren’t the greats of years past……I bet if they had better cartoons on in the morning, it wouldn’t be so hard for me to wake up…..Jayla likes them, but Yo Gabba Gabba doesn’t count as a cartoon……more like a sesame street rip off……I remember growing up…cartoons were on til 12……at 12, we would watch Soul Train and use the Zoom Broom….we couldn’t afford a vacuum cleaner……as the microphone……have our own Soul Train line and then after it went off, we cleaned up…..next thing we know, its 3 in the afternoon…….now, if I don’t have to work, I wake up about 12 and the day just drags…..but its not a day of relaxation…its more of “now what did I forget to do?”…….
Just found out in the month of June, we will be having mandatory OT……..what exactly is mandatory overtime??......isn’t that some type of contradiction??......if you are giving OT, it should be optional…..but no, you are telling me I have to work extra hours…….I assume that’s a good thing…..as I need the money……..but dang!!......the summer is going to be a hard one for me….my prayers are seemingly being answered, so my tenure here may not be long anyway………

Hopefully, I will have the tickets for the concert by Monday……the flyer is looking excellent and you all will probably be getting that tomorrow…I truly hope you all can make it out…..this is a very important event for me and I am happy that I can give back to the community……..

Well I am not going to keep you all long today……here it is folks…..Rika’s Quote of the Day…………..

“We have never before had today and we will never have it again…don’t waste it.”

I have to live like this…..I know that today is another opportunity for me to be great……I want to commit myself to doing everything I can to be better than I was yesterday…..

Shout outs are in order to my girl Krystal Shanti…..don’t get weary……..allow the Lord to show you what he wants to reveal to you…….you have known me for a long time…….I have had my ups and downs…and I am still standing…….you are destined to be great……..

Love yall!!!

Church!!!

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS WITH CONCRETE KNEES

2010-05-13T18:12:00.000-07:00

Good evening ladies and gentlemen……I pray you all are having a good night this evening and are ready for the upcoming weekend…..I am feeling good today….a few more blessings this afternoon…a breakthrough on a “friendship”………and just overall feeling really good……trying to get into the habit of praying three times a day…..or when someone is attacking my spirit……its working to, for I don’t stay in a rut for too long……now work???...it’s the same…boring and I am so ready to go…….but hey, gotta pay bills you know……..

Had a very interesting conversation on Facebook today….if anybody gets a chance, check it out……I love some of my friends on there……….it is truly an honor to be able to indulge with intellectual people….now are they are sensible??.....of course not!!.....neither am I so I don’t expect them to be!!!......we all have our beliefs and I love when we can agree to disagree…..folks are so hilarious……

Now I want to put you all up on some of my upcoming events……now I know you may not possibly be able to make all of these, but the 27th and the 30th, I really want you all to come out……..

MAY 25TH: Spaceship Ohayses will be hosting the Dallas Xplosion Family Reunion @ Trinity River Sports Bar…..5214 s Lamar in Dallas…….there will be a free buffet…..come on out and enjoy yourself with some of Dallas finest artist and tastemakers………..

MAY 26TH: Essential Entertainment’s own Derek Daider and Spaceship Ohayses will be performing live in Waco Tx……more details coming soon………..

MAY 27TH: Spaceship Ohayses will be live in concert at the Mambo Café……2020 N. Lamar Street…..ladies free before 11……I need at least 30 people to come out and rock with ya boy and start Memorial Weekend off with me!!!.........

MAY 30TH: Essential Entertainment will be holding its first “Essential Victory Concert” at Rolls Royce…9220 Skillman Street……the concert start at 3pm……..live in concert will be Spaceship Ohayses, Wyze, Derek Daider, One Night Stand, Problem Child and Skyron, Alsace, MoMu Entertainment, and Champ……tickets are $10 in advance and $15 at the door…..proceeds will be donated to a local charity in Dallas…….for more information and sponsorship opportunities, contact Spaceship Ohayses…..

All I ask is that you mark these days in your calendar…..I know some of these events will be hard to get to, but that Thursday and Sunday mean a lot to me and I hope my “supporters” come on out and really get behind this movement……..

Man, I really need to clean up my house…I did all this fasting and getting away for a moment and my house still looks like its waiting on Jesus…..I told someone today…no matter how junky my crib is, there are two rooms that I make sure are clean…my bathroom and my kitchen……probably because I used them two the most…..
Folks that always got something to say about something……don’t you hate that…..I say I watched the mayweather fight a couple of weeks ago…they say they had tickets but didn’t go……I say I just recorded a new song…they say they went to the studio and Jay-Z was there……..I say I cooked for mothers Day….they took their mom to Emerill’s restaurant…..don’t you just want to punch them in the face??....but that’s not godly….so I chill…….but in my head, im punching them in the face…….

Had a friend call me today about a major, life-changing decision today……and no matter what kind of “advice” I give them, I will never be able to comprehend the ramifications of their decision……like marriage…I could never tell one of my partners to leave their wife…..what if they have kids?....what about their valuables and possessions……I love being me but understand, I don’t have all the answers…no matter how great you think I am……….

Well I am about to leave……and Rika didn’t send me a quote today……BOOOOOOOOO RIKA!!!!......but I have one…I made it up by accident……I like it though…..so here it is…..Spaceship’s Quote of the Day………..

“If you don’t have a vision, how can you see your destiny?”

Ahh haa!!...I know you like that……(in my McLovin voice, “chicka, chicka”)…….

Just messing with yall…….congrats to my Los Angeles Lakers!!!....please stop doubting us son!!!!......and death to the Cavaliers…….I can’t believe I am cheering for the Celtics……such a bad taste in my mouth…..

Shout outs to my homie Courtney……its working babe…I am so taking everything you said into account…wow…I so love you for it……even when we don’t talk I still hear your voice….I am learning to be more obedient….no matter how hard it gets!!!......love you!!!!!........

Love yall!!!

Church!!!

KEEP IT REAL...UNLESS YOU TALKING TO ME!!!

2010-05-12T15:36:00.000-07:00

Man, I have been so busy this last half hour….truly thought I was going to be able to coast for the rest of the day…..but some things just don’t happen the way we expect….how are you all doing today?.....I am feeling really good…….God’s presence is so good!!!.......I hope I find you in the most awesome of attitudes…….I don’t have too long so I guess will cut this blog a little shorter than usual……..

TONIGHT!!...DJ LADY JA-ROQ’S OPEN MIC SHOWCASE IS HOLDING FORT AT ROLLS ROYCE…9220 SKILLMAN STREET……..DOORS OPEN AT 9….YES AT 9!!...THE SHOW WILL START AT TEN….WE ARE STILL IN THE HUNT FOR OUR $250 WINNER…..LAST WEEK WAS SO MUCH FUN AND I PRAY THAT YOU ALL COME OUT AND SUPPORT YA BOY…AND IF YOU THIRSTY, WE GOT THOSE DRINKS!!!!..........

So last night, I am on my way to see Stephanie at the Steak and Shake over here…..I’m thinking I hear a draft from my passenger window so I try to raise it up…now, this window doesn’t work too good so I try to be careful with it……..then I heard something click…next thing I know, the window falls completely down in its crack……so not a good look……..eventually I pick it out of there……with the help of some needle nose pliers and use every flyer in my car to tighten the tension between the window pane and the window frame………I so have to get that done today……and still the devil cant take my joy!!!!.........

You know how yesterday I was talking about not doing any shows as of late??......well, since Saturday I suppose….up until today, God has filled my schedule for the whole Memorial week…I may have one or two days off, but besides that, He is totally blessing me…..and I need to credit the way I think for that…when I was down, not knowing where my blessings were, it was hard for me to see them…..I’m not looking for them now…..and I think that’s why we don’t give thanks as much as we should…when a blessing does come to us, we take it for granted…or we allow people to say we are lucky….what is luck??.....I believe the word comes from Lucifer……think about it and look at them……the devil gives you luck…a false sense of security…….that’s why its so sporadic…no one is lucky all the time…..duh!!!!........

The connections I was looking for, the ability to do the things I need to, the work ethic….they are all coming back to me…..I have to keep my mind motivated…I became idle for a minute there….and it wasn’t good....as long as I am busy with Essential Entertainment, I know more and more things will come my way…….and this smile isn’t fake……..

But some things just don’t change….women…..and I say this with all sincerity…..STOP WEARING OPEN TOE SHOES IF YOUR FEET ARE BUSTED!!!....I mean seriously…no man wants to see that…no matter how much you don’t care…..and please don’t give me that, “if you don’t like it, get them done” crap……you should care……

Why are there people in the world that start arguments for no reason…….I was at the 7-11 down the street from my house last night and there was this young man in there…white guy…well this black guy comes to the door and the white guy asked for some change….I already knew he was going to ask so I asked him before he had a chance to ask me…..killed that thought real quick…yeah, I asked a homeless man for a dollar….try it, it works…….but instead of simply saying he doesn’t have it, he goes on this rampage cursing this guy out and getting in his face…..do you hate yourself that much dude?.........

Well I am not going to spend too much time with you all today…..hopefully I can get you all an itinerary of my Memorial Day events by tomorrow…I will say that Essential Entertainment will be holding the 1st ever “Essential Victory Charity Concert” on May 30th at Rolls Royce…..mark that in your calendar…….we will be donating half of the proceeds to a local charity in the DFW area…I am truly excited about this event and I hope you all come out….and you don’t have to go to work on Monday, so no excuses!!!......

There is something I am forgetting…….oh yeah!!!....Rika’s Quote of the Day……….

“Nothing happens out of order or by chance so look for the lesson that can be learned from each of your experiences.”

I am such a witness to that….make sure you become a follower: www.spaceshipohayses.blogspot.com and check out the music if you haven’t: www.reverbnation.com/spaceshipohayses ...............

Shout outs are in order for my homie Ms Evans……..I hope you are well today…really miss you at work…you all pray for her…she was in a car accident and we look to Him for your speedy recovery……..

Love yall!!!!!

Church!!!!

BAG OF WEAKNESS FOR SALE!!!

2010-05-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

Should I?.....or should I stay gone??.....that is the burning question……but at the end of the day I missed you all…….its been a crazy past couple of weeks and in this writing, I may give you all some insight of what I have been able to get through……not all the way but I am starting to see the light….its still far……I’m getting there though……how have you all been??....gosh I have missed you…….its hard not articulating my feelings to you….I felt it was best though, as I was beginning to see myself as too negative for your lives………to those that genuinely expressed concern for me….I do thank you………I’m so used to only worry about my feeling and emotions, I didn’t take into account how tied our destinies truly are……..well, where do I begin??.........let me attempt to break down what I have been doing………and what I will be doing!!!........

FAMILY:

Its been a very weird few weeks for me……I talked to my father’s parents last week…….my and my grandmother had a long talk and she informed me that she would be telling my father I called…..I didn’t really care……figured he wouldn’t call me anyway…sure enough, he did….and just like last time, he told me he would call me at least once a week……he continued to apologize for not being a good dad…….I wont say that I took it with a grain of salt…….but I took it with a grain of salt…….he called me again last night…..two times in a week span……that’s probably more than he has in my 30 years of living….and you know what?........I was happy to see his name on my caller ID……..

Now my mom and I have truly been working on our relationship…or maybe our conversations……..now when we talk, I find myself not so much ready to get off the phone with her……..we joke, call each other names and now I am getting an idea of where my humor comes from……..I think this is all that I ever really wanted…..there is an old adage, “if you don’t learn from history, you are bound to repeat it”……I never knew who I was….why I did certain things, or think the way I do…..bridging this gap with my mom is really doing wonders just for my overall attitude……..

FINANCES:

With all due respect to those going through a recession……..I have been recessed since I can remember……the times I have went through these last couple of weeks have almost been unbearable…….Quita, Rhonda, Robin, Brandon, Tahj, Lisa, Chanell, Mama C, and everyone else that has lent their time, ears, money, and patience with me…..I so thank you…….it has been hard…….to wake up and not have any food…..to get paid and have nothing to show for it………to borrow and cant give back in a timely manner is very frustrating…..and I wanted so hard to become isolated….I never want someone to think I am abusing them or using them or taking advantage of their love…….but you guys would not let me…….you forced me to smile in spite of……you know, when the devil is bothering us and people say” you just going through a storm”, I try to believe it……I know I believe it…but my faith was tested…….no, I am not out of my circumstance….but I feel myself getting stronger…….

RELATIONSHIPS/FRIENDS:

The word friend is very loose right here……I have a hard head…..and I try to see the best in people……the truth is though, you cant……and when that storm does come and you have those situations in your life that take you away from what people expect you be, you find out who really loves you…not cut for you, like you, or want to have sex with you….but LOVES you…..unconditionally……..to those that stood by me, prayed for me, and made sure I was okay, rather they were mad at me, upset with me, confused with me….once again, thank you……..

One thing I don’t discuss on my blog is my relationship status….and I don’t really want to know because I don’t want anyone to think I am calling them out or putting them on blast…….but hell, it is my blog isn’t it??........its hard trying to settle down with someone when you can stand on your own two…….I have allowed myself to be my own worse crutch………but in these past few days, I realized a lot about relationships……..you know what?...ima leave it at that……….

GOD:

“Something about the name Jesus”……..I know my faith has been built as of late……even went on a fast…..one of the hardest things I have ever done…but He told me to distance myself…..and I did…..and in that meantime, I did increase my faith…..I have been going to church…..I have had a more praying life nowadays…….and that’s the key…as much as I breathe, I need to pray….now everything else I talked about tied together……..some people left, some people came, some things, I totally stopped, and things are working themselves out….as much as I take time to say how good my God is, I have to really digest that….and its hard…I’m used to being mean, selfish, shallow, invincible, scared, lonely, hurt, and hated…..but why??......and why must I continue to think this is the direction my life will take…….

I found myself crying a lot…….and I definitely wasn’t used to that!!...was it because of my grandmother?....was it because of my multiple eviction notices?...or the lack of food in my fridge?......it’s easy to make these the reason….I thought I was having some type of mid life crisis…..God was just breaking down my soul……….for so long, I refused to show any emotions……”it is what it is”…..but its not…and we can change what it is if we try……….and that’s my starting block…….all the pain, the animosity, the frustrations…..they will be there…..I just cant let them take reign over my soul……..

Thank you all for being there for me……and thank you for those that prayed for me….and thank you to those that chose not to deal with my foolishness……..I am glad you showed me your true colors….and I don’t fault you at all………Essential Entertainment, and myself will be better for it……guns are blazing…..life is a journey……and I will never say I QUIT!!!!...........

Well, I hope to see you all tomorrow at Rolls Royce…….yes, I’m still hosting open mics….even that became a source of anguish for me……but I got through it……if you know anybody that needs $250 in their life, tell them to bring their butts to 9220 Skillman Street by 9:00 tomorrow night…….

I love yall….I so really do………

Church!!!!

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2010-05-03T12:48:00.000-07:00

I have been going through a lot……..and I am learning a lot of things…..and right now, venting is not helping…its all about actions…..until further notice, I will be taking a hiatus from you all……thank you for being there for me….i promise to come back better than ever…….

Love yall!!!

Church!!!